All is Fair in Quidditch, War and Love?
by Dizzy88
Summary: Hope Wood and James Potter share the same friendship circle but can't be in each others company for five minutes without an argument breaking out - throw in their recent Co-Captaincy on the quidditch field and things could start to get messy...
1. Chapter 1

**I never in my wildest dreams thought I would write a fanfiction story, I love reading them but I never imagined I'd put my fingers to my keypad and try one myself. **

**This story however just would not leave my head, so much so that the characters started to take on a life of their own... so I decided since they were living, it was only fair to explore where they might take me too and what wonderful things they might drag up from my imagination.**

**So I hope you all enjoy.**

**The chapters will be told from different points of view, mainly Hope and James' but perhaps a few other characters may put their few bobs worth in as well later on, who knows!**

**As much as I wished I owned even the smallest part of Harry Potter and his world I sadly do not, I do however own Hope - and a few other random people who'll pop up along the way!**

**But any way enough talking, it is time to crack on!**

* * *

><p><strong>Hope's POV<strong>

From my room I heard the familiar tones of my mother calling up the stairs, 'Hope Katherine Wood aren't you ready to leave yet? The party starts in less than fifteen minutes!'

I groaned to myself, took one more last at myself in the mirror and did a little twirl. Although my curly brown hair was looking a little worse for ware – it had refused to lay flat ever since I returned from quidditch training with my day that afternoon – the rest of me was as presentable as I could ever imagined it being. My cheeks still had a pink post broom ride ting to them, the tan from my holiday in Paris was still lingering and my eyes were looking incredibly blue tonight. As for my outfit, my skinny jeans and gold sparkly jumper would definitely have to do, I wasn't much of a girly girl on the best day, but tonight I was just not in the mood to get all dressed up.

'Coming' I called back, as I grabbed my bag off the bed, ran out of the room and bounded down the stairs to meet my parents and brother who were all ready and waiting in the hallway.

'Right are you ready to go?' my mother asked as I pulled on my boots.

'Not Really' I replied, 'I mean I don't see why I have to go…I'm just really not in the mood. I'd rather stay here and read.'

'What? Why would you want to do that? Don't you want to go and brag about being the brand new Gryffindor Quidditch Captain, even though you're only going into fifth year. An honour which has only been given to one person before, Oliver Wood, the legendary keeper for Puddlemere United, who also happens to be an all-round good guy, handsome, cool and lucky for you and Ollie he's also your father!'

I couldn't help the wide smile that broke across my face as my dad spoke. He is by far one of the greatest people in my life – and he always knows what to do to put me in a good mood.

I've always known I'm blessed to have been born into the Wood family. My parents are both awesome and very committed to one another. They met at school when my mum joined the quidditch team whilst my father was the captain, and despite slowly falling for each other over a number of years they didn't admit their feelings to each other until the Battle of Hogwarts. Yep that's my father Oliver Wood, don't tell the woman of your dreams you love her during one of the many peaceful and perfect moments you have together, no wait until the craziest person alive is trying to kill you all and then tell her.

Both my mum and dad are also really successful in their careers, whilst my dad is the keeper for Puddlemere United and has won the Quidditch Cup on many different occasions, my mum is one of the greatest healers around. She had always banked on playing professional quidditch too, but after the war she decided her calling lay elsewhere. So she trained to be a healer and now specialises in magical brain injuries, particularly people who had been so traumatised that they have had their memory affected as a result.

When they had me, they chose to call me Hope as they said that was what I'd represented to them – hope, that I'd have a life free of war, hope that the Wizarding World had changed for the better with the defeat of Voldemort. And then they'd had my younger brother, Ollie, who was named after both our dad and granddad. Ollie is amazing; in many ways he was a far better person than me, and despite being three years younger he is still quite protective of me. But that is a two way street, I think sometimes I really embarrass him because I fuss and worry about him so much.

My mother, who was also grinning at my dad, rolled her eyes and patted his hand affectionately whilst saying, 'Your father may be misled in regards to how amazing he is, but he is right that you should be excited about going and seeing all your friends. After all you've got two things to be proud of, what with being made a prefect and Quidditch Captain. Besides you haven't seen Fred and Roxanne since the summer started, since they went to see Charlie the second we got back from Paris. And you haven't seen George or Angelina either…and you know they take their role as Godparents very seriously. Plus it is Harry Potter's birthday, not just anyone gets an invite to that.' She winked at me as she finished speaking, causing me to smile despite myself.

I sighed defeated, my parents were right. I did want to celebrate my achievements with my friends and I had missed Rox and Fred loads over the summer – and Aunt Angelina and Uncle George. It was the first summer since I was seven years old that we had spent this long apart, from any of them.

'I know. I can't wait to see Rox and Fred, it is just _Potter _is going to be there. Besides I'm Co-Captain Dad, so it isn't that great an achievement. Not to mention Fred will probably disown me when he finds out I'm a prefect…'

Ollie smiled and winked at me, whilst mum merely snorted saying Fred could do with a friend who'd help keep him out of trouble, and dad once again protested how brilliant the Wood family was no matter what. And then with that, my parents grabbed our hands and apparated out of our house before I could change my mind.

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><p>We landed in the back garden of the Wealsey Burrow where Rox and Fred's grandparents lived and where the majority of their family gatherings still happened. There were people dotted all around, some I recognised and some I didn't. Mum and dad immediately made a move towards the house, muttering something about going to find Harry to wish him a happy birthday and that we should make sure we behaved ourselves.<p>

When mum and dad had gone I turned to look at Ollie, 'I'm going to the bathroom and then I'm going to look for Rox….do you wanna come with me?'

He merely wrinkled his nose at me and said, 'No offense sis, I love you and Roxy and all, but not enough to sit there and hear you talk about girl things all night. Especially since you have some catching up to do, I'm going to see if I can find Louis.'

'Ok, if you are sure…be safe though, and if you need me come and find me.'

He rolled his eyes at me then, muttered that he'd be safe and then dashed off. I turned and walked towards the house following the same direction my parents had taken.

* * *

><p>I had just come out of the bathroom on the first floor when a familiar and unwelcome voice said, 'Well hello Miss Wood, can I just say how mighty fine you are looking tonight!'<p>

Great, just who I _hadn't _wanted to see two minutes after walking through the door.

I turned to glare at him and asked in a rather seething voice, 'Urgh what do you want Potter?'

Potter then took a step back, holding his chest in mock agony, his brown eyes deliberately going wide.

'Oh Wood, why does there always have to be this hostility between us? I mean I know you fancy me bu-'

'Me, fancy you? I think you might want to reconsider which way around that is you little pervert.' I cut across him angrily, my temper already rising after a minute in his company.

Meanwhile he seemed to remain as unbelievably cool and collected as ever, standing there with a stupid smirk on his face, casually ruffling his black and messy hair, looking as if he owned the place. After a second of silence he cockily moved forward an inch, taking up part of my personal space.

'Are you quite finished protesting my dear?' he asked moving a further step towards me.

This caused me to back away slightly as my heart started beating a little harder as my cheeks flushed and my eyes narrowed a little in annoyance. I was trying to figure out what his motives were for being such a slimy, smarmy arse, not that I had to wait that long. He continued speaking, as though he didn't even register my unease.

'I mean you know what they say about the lady doth protest too much…I just thought you might like to wish your new Captain good luck for the coming quidditch season, maybe offer me some special service to make sure I keep you around on the team this year. Yo-'

'You arrogant, arrogant arse!' I shouted stopping him in mid flow, my previous flustering forgotten now as I moved into _his_ personal space pushing him as hard as I could in the chest. Unfortunately due to how bloody tall he was and how well developed his quidditch muscles were he only stumbled a bit.

He still seemed to be oblivious to how bloody angry I was though, as he carried on with his taunting laugh and asked sweetly, 'What did I say something to annoy you?'

'Let us get something's straight shall we?' I said fiercely, 'One, we are co-captains this year. That means we have to work together and we make decisions _together._ As much as I hate having to work with you on anything we just have to get through it. And you will not, and I repeat not, be offering anyone preferential treatment on our team in return for any favours – sexual or not!'

He raised an eyebrow at that and tried speaking, trying to claim he would never really do such a thing. I merely held up my hand to stop him talking. My face must have shown how furious I was because he quickly shut up. Allowing me to carry on where I had left off.

'Two, I do not fancy you do you hear? I happen to find you quite disgusting and if you ever try anything on with me, I will not think twice about cursing you and a certain body part I'm sure you are quite fond of.

'Three, I happen to love your family – especially Rox and Fred – who for some unknown reason seem to think you are the greatest guy ever. This is the only reason I have refrained from transfiguring you into the dung beetle you so obviously are over the last four years. But please try and remember this year that although I love the rest of your family, and count many of them amongst my best friends, I don't include you in this list and I won't hesitate to do what I have to in order to keep you off my back. We're not friends, ok? We put up with each other's company because we're in the same friendship circle, but we will never be on friendly terms. Therefore I don't think we have to go out of the way to speak to each other, except on the quidditch field for obvious reasons. I am so sick of you and all your crap and I'm not dying to have anymore, I mean four years is enough for me thank you very much! So there we are, you avoid any prolonged contact with me, and I will avoid any prolonged contact with you.'

I stopped, feeling less angry all of a sudden. In fact I felt a little cruel to be honest. I mean, Merlin knows I didn't like James Potter, but he wasn't perhaps as bad as I had just made out. He also seemed genuinely taken aback by what I'd just said, not to mention a little hurt.

Before he had a chance to respond I smiled weakly at him and said, 'Umm, well I guess we should get back to the party? It is your dad's birthday after all and you should probably be with your family.'

And with that I stepped past him, muttering a lousy goodbye as I escaped downstairs.

* * *

><p>By the time I reached the bottom of the stairs I was feeling a little queasy and upset. That was definitely one of the more emotionally charged meetings with Potter. Sure we had run ins before, pretty much every week since first year in fact, but I'd never been <em>that <em>harsh to him.

I took a shuddering breath as I entered the kitchen and saw a large group of people, including James' younger siblings Albus and Lily Potter, and with them was Fred – one of my very best friends. But since he's also best friends with James I wasn't too sure I could face his company right now. In fact I wasn't feeling much like socialising with anyone except Roxanne and she was nowhere in sight. Grabbing a butterbeer I made a quick dash out of the door that led into the backyard, escaping before anyone spotted me.

The second I stepped outside I was thankful for the breeze and the fresh air, it helped to ease the waves of sickness I'd been feeling since my run in with Potter. Taking a deep breath I started moving up the garden path towards the lake, passing groups of people as I went. I couldn't see mum and dad anywhere though, nor had I seen Ollie since we'd separated in the garden.

Knowing Ol he'd probably be off annoying James somewhere, my brother and I are so alike in many ways but so different in others. I may detest James but Ollie adores him, he is his idol and I can't help thinking it must be a boy thing. James is good natured about it most of the time though and always makes sure to speak to Ollie and to ask him how he is. Ollie is in Lily's year at Hogwarts and when they first started James went out of his way to make sure the two became friends, not to mention he looked out for Ol the same way he would have done for any other member of his family. Whatever James is like and no matter what my feelings towards him might be, the way he treated my little brother did go a long way towards making up for some of his bigger flaws.

But thinking about that just made me feel even worse for some my previous comments to Potter….

Suddenly I saw a familiar mass of frizzy black hair in front of me and thanking Merlin for sending me the one person I really needed right now I set of at a sprint, shouting her name as I went.

'Hey Rox, Foxy Roxy, wait up!'

She turned to face me, her grin widening to show all her brilliant teeth, which are beautifully white next to her honey complexion.

'Hope, there you are! Where the hell have you been? We saw Ollie ages ago and we've been trying to find you ever since!'

It was then I realised she was accompanied by Dominique, another member of the Weasley gang.

When I finally caught up with the two of them, I bear hugged Rox and tackled her playfully. I don't think I had really understood how much I had missed her until I saw her standing there. The last time I remember spending this long away from her was when I started at Hogwarts, seeing as how I am a year older – and that had been one of the hardest years of my life. Even during the summer we'd usually see each other about once a week, so the month long separation had been a tough one.

When I finally let Rox go I turned to Dominique and gave her a quick hug as well. Then I stepped back and said, 'Urgh, yeah sorry. I was going to come and find you when I'd used the bathroom, but I sort of got cornered by your cousin literally about two seconds after coming through the door as well! I'm afraid I may have been a bit of a bitch to him…'

Rox and Dom shared a quick amused glance with each other, before Roxanne linked her arms in mine and Dom's, turned towards the lake and started walking once again.

'Oh you two' Rox sang in her lovely thick voice, 'Why don't you tell your Aunty Roxy and your Aunty Dominique all about what exactly happened this time…'


	2. Chapter 2

**James' POV**

This party sucked, big time. My mum and dad had clearly decided it had reached the point of the night in which it was acceptable to start sucking face, it was disgusting to see them drooling all over each other.

Not to mention Albus and Scorpius had put Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes Troll Bogies Flavouring into my butterbeer whilst I was speaking to Fred with my back to them. And speaking of Fred I have a strong suspicion he had been distracting me of purpose so the boys could pull of their prank without being caught, so I was a little pissed at him too, although I couldn't prove anything in his case.

My little brother and his sodding best friend however hadn't even tried to hide their guilt, the minute I spat my drink out everywhere they were laughing all over the place. Usually I don't mind them hanging about around me at things like this, and despite the whole messy family history between the Potters and the Malfoys I really liked Scop, we all did. Usually he was a really good laugh to have around and was brilliant at pranking people – however, I did not find it so enjoyable when the one he was helping to pull pranks on was me. So right now, I was kind of wishing they would both suddenly burst into flames.

I was also feeling a little annoyed with Uncle Fred and Uncle Ron, since it was a Weasleys' Wizard Wheeze product that had caused me to nearly throw up all over Gran's nice kitchen table. And I was also angry at Aunt Angelina and Aunt Hermione just because they were married to the idiots who thought up such a horrible tonic.

To top it all off Uncle Percy had also helped to put me in a sodding bad mood, since the silly git hadn't said well done for making quidditch co-captain. Oh no, he'd given me a half an hour long lecture instead, telling me how disappointing it was that Fred and I hadn't made prefects. Somehow he also had a list of all the detentions Fred and I had had last year – along with the reasons for each – and had therefore proceeded to have a stern word with me about all of them. He had ended this half an hour lecture by pretty much saying what a disappointment it was that I put so much of my effort into quidditch and pranks but not into being a model student, then he reminded me not to let my new status on the quidditch field go to my head.

This pissed me off no end, mainly because it is something I could imagine Wood loving to hear. She was _always_ insinuating I had a big head…

Fred had found it hilarious when I had rehashed this conversation with him. He'd just shrugged it off as Uncle Percy being jealous that he wasn't any good at quidditch, whereas I obviously had real talent, which is why I'd been chosen as co-captain when I am only going to be in fifth year. I'm not so sure about this, I think Uncle Percy is actually pretty annoyed about the whole thing. I know Aunt Hermione also thinks Fred and I should spend less time skipping lessons to pull pranks and instead spend more time learning. And I don't think mum and dad are exactly thrilled about how much time I spent doing lines and cleaning trophies last year….

Although they are thrilled that I'm going to be co-captain of the quidditch team, it means I'm carrying on the family tradition – after all both my mum and dad have been captains for Gryffindor too. Plus I think mum secretly thinks if I am busy with quidditch I'll have less time to get into trouble, not to mention she seems convinced that the more time I spend with Wood the more she'll have a positive influence on me.

Ha, if only she knew what had happened between us tonight she might think differently. School hasn't even started yet and already we're off to a bad start. If we survive the whole year without one of us killing the other one it will be a miracle.

I also suspect that Molly and Lucy are disappointed in me, judging by the dark looks they have been giving me and the way they've been whispering behind their hands. Well, I can't say it surprises me too much that they seem to think like their father, but it hurts that they can't at least be happy for what I have managed to achieve at least. They act all high and mighty and superior, but really what do they have to be so bloody proud about.

So really, right now the members of my family I am at all inclined to like is pretty slim, and getting slimmer all the time.

And then of course Roxanne hasn't been seen all night, not that it take a genius to work out who she is with. Every time I think of Hope Wood I just end up getting even more frustrated and wound up with other people, including Rox, as thinking of her makes me think of Wood.

Then of course Wood's brother Ollie wouldn't leave me alone when he caught up with me earlier. Sometimes that boy's obsession with me can be a bloody annoyance.

At least my little sister is still as amazing as ever, not that I'd ever tell her, but in my opinion she is one of the most awesome people ever. I mean it is far more fun to bully her like a good big brother should, whilst secretly swelling with pride on the inside because of the wonderfully person she is turning into.

She's been even more brilliant tonight than she normally is as well. She must have sensed how frustrated I was getting by Ollie and seen that I wasn't really in the mood to be around him. She also seems to have gathered that I just didn't have the heart to tell him to piss off, which is what I normally do if I'm not in the mood to speak to him. I just couldn't do that tonight though, I was still feeling so bloody confused and guilt about my run in with Hope, that there was no way I could risk hurting her little brother's feelings as well. So Lily, being the angel she is, came up to is us with our cousin Louis in tow and challenged the two of them to the muggles game piggy in the middle – but with the added magic touch of playing it in the air on broom sticks, and with a quaffle instead of a ball.

They'd been in the garden ever since and I think my cousins Hugo and Rose may have joined in with them too – and maybe Aunt Luna's kids - either way there had been a lot of laughter floating in from outside ever since. Well at least someone was having fun I thought rather bitterly.

I was really annoyed and I wasn't in the mood for the party anymore, all I wanted to do was go home. Usually I love these family get togethers, you kind of have to being a part of this family – they do happen nearly every bloody week. Plus 'family' tends to be a very loose word, as it includes anyone who has any remotely close connection to our family. This is why all these events include people like the Woods, the Longbottoms, and so on – so you can always guarantee there will be some interesting people around. I mean between the older members of my family they pretty much knew everyone in the wizarding world.

I always loved this big mix of different people, but right now I just couldn't stand it. My run in with Hope had really gotten to me, I felt suffocated and I just wanted to be alone – but there were people everywhere.

I just couldn't stop thinking about what she had said. Yes we'd had run ins with each other before, pretty much once a week in fact. Rox claims that she once tried to keep count of how many times we bickered in a week, but gave up when it got to twenty two. But despite all that I'd never once considered not counting her as a friend.

It was true to say that without Fred to link us together we would never have started hanging out. I mean he was definitely the glue that had brought us into contact with one another, but after nearly five years of being in the same circle of friends you'd think she'd at least consider us to be somewhat 'friendly'. Evidently not though.

I know her other friends, the slightly batty Sky from Ravenclaw and her muggles friend Mia from Hufflepuff, consider me to be something akin to a friend. And I considered them to be friends too. In many ways I like them more than most of _my_ so called friends. Hope, Sky and Mia are the only girls in the whole school who I've actually had to earn the approval of, and that makes me respect and value their influence in my life a lot more.

I mean Mia is muggle born, so she had no idea about my family before she started at Hogwarts. Once she had studied the wizarding war though there is no doubt she was impressed, but with my dad not with me. She stated that Harry Potter was a very brave and remarkable man – but he was not me – so she said she'd like to judge me on who I was as a person. And I couldn't have been so horrible in her opinion, because she still speaks to me.

And Sky, who is distantly descended from magical gypsy travellers on her dad's side and some ancient magical Native Indian tribe on her mother's side, has always been totally unfazed by my family. In fact, she seems to think that her ancestors are much more famous and impressive than mine – and therefore she's always been very grateful that we accepted her for herself, and not for her family's 'fame'.

Don't get me wrong, there is no doubt in my head that Sky and Mia are very much Hope's friends first and mine second, and if it ever came to it I know they'd chose her over me (not that it ever would, Hope may do a lot of things, but she would never force her friends hands in any way) but at least they seemed to get along with me fine. And whether Hope likes it or not, by being associated with her, both Sky and Mia have become a part of our little, or rather not so little, group. And I have grown to be rather fond of them.

I liked the fact that with them, they liked me for me – it didn't matter who my dad was, or whether my mother was a famous quidditch player, or what any of my aunts and uncles have done. I also liked the challenge of winning them over. Every other girls in school either threw themselves at my feet or was related to me, hell even most the boys were falling over themselves to be my friend. So having Sky and Mia around to bring me back down to earth and keep my feet on the ground was nice. They helped to keep me level headed.

And yes, perhaps I did like the attention most of the time. But truthfully, whilst having a fan club was good for a lot of things – I mean there are a LOT of perks to having girls swooning all over you – I'd rather be friends with people because they knew me and accepted me for who I was. Most of the people at school didn't even want to bother finding out if I was a jerk or not, they just wanted to claim they had some association with me. Truth be told that was the main reason why I had always been more comfortable just hanging out with Fred – and being a part of my family he understood how frustrating it could be having people constantly trying to tag along with you.

That is always what has made me so curious about Hope though, she never seemed to buy into the idea that because of who my dad was I should automatically be special. And unlike Mia who hadn't really known about my family when we met, or Sky who seemed to believe my family had nothing on hers, Hope was just an ordinary girl from a wizarding family. Yet I didn't seem to have the same effect on her as I did on everyone else.

It had thrown me in first year to be honest and had insulted my misplaced pride – which is originally why I gave her a hard time. I was bitter that she seemed to think me beneath her. But as time went on, I think I just settled into a routine of picking on her. I had long since forgotten the real bitterness between us, I admit that she still frustrates the hell out of me and sometimes seem to think rather _highly_ of herself, but for all intense and purposes I had grown to like her. Unfortunately she still doesn't seem to have grown to like me.

Even if I didn't start to like her I would have been forced to accept her anyway, whether I wanted too or not, because Fred adored her – she was almost like another sister to him. So she was always around.

For her part, I think a major factor in Hope becoming such good friends with Sky and Mia was due to the fact that they were probably the only two girls in our year that didn't think I was a God. And she respected them for that, and seemed to detest everyone else for what she had deemed a ridiculous obsession. She often said she couldn't understand why so many girls threw themselves at me – especially considering the size of my head and the questionable issue of where exactly I had been.

For some reason Hope has had an issue with me for as long as I can remember. I sometimes wonder if she'd actually be friends with Fred and Roxanne today if she hadn't grown up with them, or whether she'd avoid them simply because they were related to me. Obviously I can only really speculate on that, but it bothers me sometimes.

I think despite the fact she is forced to withstand my company as a result, Hope is glad she grew up with Fred and Roxanne, as she loves every other member of my family. I seem to be literally the only one she has ever taken any issue with. Of course, everyone loves her back – I sometimes think they prefer her too me. They tend to usually take her side when it comes to the two of us falling out, but then that may have something to do with the fact that I can't resist winding her up….

But sometimes I just can't help myself, she makes it so easy to push her buttons. And honestly, half the time I think she does need bringing down a peg or two. She can be a bit of a high and mighty bitch when she gets going…

That said I'm not proud of my actions tonight. I had only wanted to tease her a bit about being co-captain with me, as I knew it would be eating her alive to have to work with me so closely, but I had not thought that she would react that badly to what I had said.

I know that perhaps the innuendo was a bit insensitive, but I always did that kind of thing to her. Usually she just comes back with some biting comment about how repulsive I am and how she doesn't understand what all the girls at Hogwarts see in me, then she insinuates I am riddled with some STI, and so on. So this, this was a totally unexpected reaction.

Perhaps it was because I'd been poking fun at being Co-Captains? Maybe she really did think I was going to ignore her and her claim to the team. But that is completely untrue, I'm actually thrilled we've both been chosen. I mean whatever else we might think of each other, I thought the one thing we'd always respected about each other was our passion and ability for the sport.

Truth be told I actually think she may be better than me at it too, she is certainly more gifted at coming up with quidditch plays. But then I think I am the better motivator out of the two of us, she tends to panic whereas I can stay calm and lead with ease. Really together I think we're make the most amazing double act – providing we can be in each other's company long enough to plan out how to get the most out of our team.

'I think I need some air' I suddenly burst out, talking over whatever it was Fred was going on about.

I didn't even feel bad that he looked a little huffy that I'd spoken over him. I really did need some air, sitting there in that kitchen with people all around me whilst constantly replying the argument with Hope in my head was choking me.

'Ummm, ok what do you want to do?' Fred asked

I looked at him, then over at Albus and Scorp, 'The lake? It has been ages since we went swimming and I could do with cooling off.'

This got a resounding yes from all the boys, much to my delight. It would be the perfect way to calm down and definitely the best way to take the heat out of my body.

'Great let's go!' I said, as Fred practically tore out of the kitchen in front of me.

* * *

><p>When we finally came into view of the lake I felt my insides freeze. <em>She<em> was there. Of course she was, sitting there dangling her feet in the water with Roxanne and Dominique copying her on either side – all three girls laughing and whispering softly.

I stopped walking, not really fancying the idea of frolicking in the lake now. Well not since it would mean being that close to the girl who'd helped to put me in this foul mood in the first place.

Unfortunately I hadn't told any of the guys about our run in earlier, I was just too ashamed of how upset I'd made her. Plus I was sure they'd end up taking her side, not to mention Fred's disappointment that his two best friends just can't seem to get on would only end up making me feel worse.

'What's up?' Fred asked as he noticed that I'd stopped moving.

'Nothing.' I replied

'Then why are we just standing here…' Scorpius asked.

Then my little brother being the perceptive little bugger he is said, 'Well isn't it obvious, Hope is over there with Rox and Dom, and James has been in a bad mood since she got here…I bet they've already had an argument.'

'Of course' Fred said wearily and then he turned to look at me, a serious and somewhat disappointed expression on his face and asked, 'What did you do this time James? I know you did something, I've seen that look before – plus Albus is right, that would explain why you've been in such a sour mood all night.'

'It was nothing, alright?' I don't know why I said that really, Hope would obviously have told Roxy by now and therefore Fred will know the truth before the night is out anyway.

'Prove it then, let's go over for that swim shall we? If you haven't done anything wrong then the two of you should be fine being in the same area…perhaps we can even all play a game after we've splashed about for a bit.' Albus challenged.

I shot him a filthy look but rose to the challenge, 'Fine, but the last one in is on cleaning duty for rest of the year's family gatherings.'

And with that I set off at a sprint, with the other three trailing behind me.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks to everyone who is following my updates and a big shout out to SexciiLexi, who gave me my very first review, it was very much appreciated.**

**I'm amazed at the amount of ideas I have floating around my head for this story, the characters are all so vivid and alive in my head! So hopefully there will be plenty of exciting misunderstandings, fights, fall outs, make ups, make outs and some all-important revelations. **

**But right now let's crack on to the latest chapter shall we!**

* * *

><p><strong>Hope's POV<strong>

The rest of the summer seemed to fly by in a whirl of family quidditch games, helping dad run some quidditch practise sessions for underprivileged children at Puddlemere, doing a week's work experience at St Mungos in mum's department, and reading some of the latest muggles books Grandma and Grandpa had bought me. We also managed to fit in a couple of camping trip with Fred, Roxy, George and Angelina. Potter had been invited to these, but thankfully his family were away for most of August.

I hadn't actually seen him since the party, so I wasn't really sure what to expect when I eventually did. We had managed to spend the rest of the night at the Burrow with our mutual friends without killing each other. In fact we hadn't really spoken to each other again that evening, he'd made sure to sit as far away from me as possible and had avoided eye contact with me. I had asked Roxanne and Dom to keep the little disagreement between James and me from Fred; I didn't think it was fair to Potter to have both of us angry at him. And truthfully I felt partly responsible for the fight, after all perhaps I had blown his taunting out of proportion.

Before I knew it the first of September had rolled around and my parents were running around like headless chickens, while Ol and I tried not to snigger at them over our cereal. For some reason mum and dad always seem to lose their sanity when the first day of terms starts. And it only seems to have gotten worse since Ollie started last year. It is quite funny really.

My dad can take the pressure of the quidditch field as if it were nothing – he doesn't even seem to lose his cool when playing for England in the World Cup. So you'd think the pressure of seeing his kids off to school would be a bit of a walk in the park. Clearly for him it isn't though.

Mum for her part is always a bit teary and when Ollie started it seemed to have just made it worse. I guess with my dad away at matches a lot it must get quite lonely for her. But then she has been so busy with her latest breakthrough at work recently that it seemed amazing to me that she had time to get upset this year.

But here we are, on the first of September and it seems as though mum and dad are going to keep up their tradition of teary goodbyes.

* * *

><p>Eventually mum and dad seemed calm enough to load up the car ready to leave. Although every now and then a little sob would escape from mum and she would have to pull either Ol or I into a great bear hug.<p>

When the boot was loaded we all piled into the car and started the drive to Kings Cross. We live quite a way from the station, so the drive is quite a long one and I was pretty jittery the whole way there. I couldn't help thinking about what an important year it was going to be for me. What with my OWLS, my new responsibility to the quidditch team and prefect duties.

Not to mention I was in the duelling club and last year I had set up a muggles book group, which I hoped to carry on this year. The response to it had been amazing and my Muggles Studies teacher, Professor Lewis, had been most impressed by my enthusiasm for starting such a group.

Not that it had been such a chore for me, I love that book group. I love to read and I always will do. My mother's parents have always encouraged Ollie and me to read. I think it is due to my grandparents being muggles, so it was always a way of sharing their world with us. My grandfather is an English Literature lecturer at a muggles university, so he has always been particularly keen to make sure we had a love for muggles novels.

I know that both my grandparents are very proud of my mother, just like they have always been proud of Ollie and I, but they have never really understood our magical achievements and the world in which we've grown up in – the world in which my mother was thrust into.

They love my father too, they really do, but I'm not sure they've ever really understood him. After all dad does come from a completely different world to them. I think sometimes they are little intimidated by his magical life and his wizarding upbringing – which is something they were obviously never able to give my mother. But similarly I think my dad has always been a bit weary of them and a little nervous, having never had any real contact with the muggles way of life. So I think on both sides there is a sense of awe and wonder at the other.

Ever since I started the book group my grandpa has been incredibly excited to hear all about it. It is a part of my school life that he can completely understand and be a part of. He even offers suggestions for themes we might like to uses. So that makes me love the group a little bit more…it is a way of bridging both of the worlds from which I hail.

* * *

><p>Eventually we pulled into the car park at Kings Cross and I was thankfully distracted form worrying about the responsibility I was going to have this year.<p>

I stepped out of the car and helped pile both mine and Ollie's trunks onto a trolley that mum had brought over. Then I placed my owl, Tolstoy, who was dozing happily in his cage onto the trolley, followed by Ol's owl Plato.

When reached the barrier at 9 ¾ I said I would go first. I always love to be the first one in our little group to go through. I think it is because I always love the first day of term, I get To Kings Cross and suddenly I remember just how much I love school. I mean everyone has their own way of describing my special relationship with Hogwarts.

Mum says it is because I am studious and I love to learn,

Dad says it is because I am enthusiastic about everything school has to offer.

Roxy says it is because I am a bookworm and I love having access to a library the size of the one at school.

Fred says it is because I am really a geek wrapped up in an athlete and I get to exercise both at Hogwarts.

Potter says it is because I am a brown noser and I get to kiss the backsides of Professors at school.

I don't really agree with any of them, well not entirely. I think everyone except Potter kind of hits on part of why it is I just love being at Hogwarts, but none of them really sum it up totally. I'm not sure it is even possible to truly understand all of it, I just can't explain how much I love to learn and to be part of a set routine.

I also can't express how much I love Hogwarts. I love the castle; the smell; the ghosts; the paintings; the Gryffindor common room; my bed; the quidditch field; the great hall…basically I just love all of it. And it always hits me just how much I love all of it when the first of September rolls around and I know I am heading back.

I guess the reason I love it so much is because when I started at Hogwarts it was the first time I ever felt like I belonged – and I mean truly belonged somewhere. My magic was finally directed towards something at Hogwarts, and I had felt some kind of calling that I'd never felt before.

So that split second when I run through the barrier and I open my eyes to see the Hogwarts Express, with all the brilliant steam billowing out from the top, is truly one of the most amazing moments of the year for me. Which is why I love going first, as I love the few moments I am without my family, standing there looking at the train that is going to take me back to the world that made me comfortable and talented. Those moments belong to me and just me; they are private, and special and meaningful.

I set off at a run, easily slipping through the barrier and opened my eyes, only to find my view blocked by two boys. Both of whom are impeccably tall and wrestling rather vigorously with one another.

Great, I thought, it is typical – even my most peaceful moment in the Hogwarts year was able to be ruined by these imbeciles.

'Jeez, can't you two pack it in for just five minutes? We haven't even stepped onto the train yet and you're already tackling each other…this has to be a new record?' I said.

Fred looked up at the sound of my voice a huge grin spreading across his face, which made my icy exterior melt a little. Well that and the fact he had Potter in a tight headlock and was mercilessly messing up his hair. Ok so maybe my perfect moment alone with a view of the train had been ruined, but to see James so dishevelled I guess it was a fair price to pay.

'Hope! Man it is good to see you, I'd hug you but as you can see I have my hands full of Pots here!'

By now the rest of my family had joined us. My mum merely rolled her eyes at the boys and dad laughed good naturedly; muttering something about boys will be boys. Ollie meanwhile looked mesmerised.

'Why are you doing that Fred?' he asked, as if Fred was doing something unbelievable which had never been seen before.

Really after a year at Hogwarts I was surprised Ollie still got excited over these bouts of testosterone between the guys. They happened all the time, usually over something silly. Just some the excuses I'd heard before consisted of:

'He ate the last of my treacle tart' that was James' excuse last year for jumping across the Gryffindor table in the great hall during dinner to tackle Fred….

'He said Artie Flint was a better beater than me!' That was another excuse from James for pushing Fred into a bunch of nettles in our third year…

Or my personal favourite…

'He turned my hair pink just as I was walking past Edith Bow, just because she has big tits and he wanted to impress her…I…had…to …have …PINK…HAIR….' That was Fred's excuse for dunking James' head into the lake on the last day of term last year.

Really the whole thing between them, whilst often entertaining, was quite silly. They never fall out, not once in the whole time that I have known them have they had a proper falling out. They always just tussle good naturedly when something is wrong. And if one of them has been particularly unfair to the other one, they end up doing 'a repentance task'. This usually consists of the guilty party having to spend the day sitting in class with a tail, whiskers, or something along those lines.

This time however the reason behind their tussle did startle me a little.

'Well Ol, you see Jamesey Wamsey here was saying some very choice things about what he'd like to do with Sky. I can't say they were very gentlemanly, especially considering the lady he was speaking so filthily about is a friend of ours….'

I raised an eyebrow at both of them.

James liking Sky, even if just as another notch on his bedpost, is odd. It isn't that she isn't beautiful, because she is. She has lovely sandy coloured skin, long wavy blonde hair and brilliant green eyes. Not to mention she is one of the loveliest girls you could ever wish to meet, a bit mad yes, but she has a heart of gold and will go out of her way to help others. She's friends with everyone she's ever met and she's also immensely intelligent. And to top it all she has a wicked sense of humour and isn't afraid to be bold. She's not embarrassed to wear bright clothes no one else would dare to put on, and she'll say things other people would never dream of saying for fear of being laughed at.

The thing that surprised me about this is the fact that it is a sort of an unspoken law that Sky is off limits because of Fred. Just like Mia and I know that Fred is off limits because of Sky (as if I would ever want to be with Fred like that anyway…ewwww he was like a brother to me!). Though neither of them have ever spoken of their obvious feelings for the other, we all know it is there.

So it seems highly unlikely to me that James would risk his friendship with Fred by chasing after Sky. He would never throw his friendship away for a quick roll in the hay, which is what his idea of a relationship is, not when that roll in the hay would never happen anyway because the girl in question is one of the few people at school who wouldn't dream of being with Potter, in _any way. _She is totally unsusceptible to his charm. She's so wrapped up with the idea of Fred that I think she is oblivious to all the other guys who are clearly pining away for her and there are quite a few, Sky is a total head turner.

Finally James managed to splutter out his explanation, in between a few head nuggies from Fred, 'It was only bec- owww that hurts! Because, grrr watch the hair! You won't…Fred will you stop it for a second! You won't admit, really Fred STOP IT! You won't admit your feelings for her!'

Fred pushed James away whilst saying, 'I have no idea what you are talking about. Sky and I are just friends and as her friend I am just looking out for her honour.' His dark coloured skin had the faintest sign of a blush creeping up his cheeks, which made him look slightly adorable.

'Please' I said rolling my eyes, 'everyone knows that you have a thing for each other and have done since third year. Maybe the two of you should finally admit your feelings for each other this year and stop driving all of us insane! And besides, since when did you care about protecting a ladies honour? You seem to forget I've been privileged to hear your conversations over the last few years. You relish all the sad little details of Potter's loser conquests!'

I stuck my tongue out at him, so he'd know I meant what I said in an affectionate way. Then I looked at Potter, who was much more dishevelled than usual and trying desperately to sort his hair out again. He seemed completely oblivious to the fact his shirt was now all askew.

I couldn't stop the smile that crept across my face as I took in the sight of him. It wasn't often James Potter looked anything short of perfect, in his own smarmy way of course, so I wanted to carry this memory to the grave with me. Therefore I had to make sure it really was perfect.

When I was satisfied that I had memorised the state he was in perfectly I spoke again, this time directing my dialogue at him.

'And you, if you so much as think of touching Sky with those greasy paws I will hex your nose to resemble Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeers do you hear me? She is, and always will be, way out of your league. In fact don't even dream of touching her as even the fantasy version of you can't get a girl like her, and you're probably so full of disease from the skanks you've been with that she'll catch something from your mere fantasy. …besides she's Fred's, so you've no chance with her anyway. He is a WAYYYY better catch than you!'

He rolled his eyes at my teasing, a small smirk playing on his lips, and said, 'And welcome to fifth year, your best friend has already wrestled you and Wood's already insulted you and made a dig at your sexual life. Yep, it is nice to know that something's never change, it is just the start of another ordinary school year.'

I merely laughed good naturedly at him, relieved that we seemed to have the same distinct relationship as ever –somewhere between actual friendship and utter disdain – and I was quietly rather happy that perhaps we'd both moved past our previous argument.

'Well losers I better run off and find my parents who seem to have wondered off whilst you were fighting. Then I am going to the prefect's carriage where I'll be able to spend some time with the responsible students. Rather than the babies I usually have to hang out with.'

'Oh yuck, who'd want to go and sit in that ghastly place with all those freaks….I mean people who actually attend their classes and give their homework in on time?' James joked, his face one of mock terror.

'Yeah, you realise what a little traitor you are right Hope? My dad officially feels like he failed in his Godfathering duties towards you. I mean he tried to help you, he tried to help you see the light – he basically did everything he could to make sure you were raised right. He taught you all the pranks he knows, he gave you plenty of free products from the shop, he encouraged you to see that jokes were more important than school…and see, all for nothing. Oh the shame, the shame!' Fred teased, as he grabbed his stomach with one hand and covered his eyes with the other, in an attempt to convey how shameful I was to look at.

I rolled my eyes but played along, 'I know, but sometimes you can do everything right. You can teach kids to do every prank under the sun, but they can still end up disappointing you by being made a prefect, or Merlin forbid getting all O's and E's in their OWLS!'

James and Fred fell about laughing then, whilst I just grinned at them.

'Come on Ollie, let's leave these two losers too it. Besides I'm sure these two love birds will want sometime alone now they've finished all their fighting over Sky, you know…to kiss and make up.'

And with that both Ol and I turned to leave, scanning the crowd for mum and dad,

Both Fred and James called out their goodbyes as we started walking away and over my shoulder I said, 'See you two idiots later….try not to blow up the train whilst I'm not there to babysit you…'

Hmmm, yeah that is definitely a distinct possibility I thought to myself, as I spotted mum and dad a little way ahead and grabbed Ollie's hand, weaving our way through the crowd to reach them.


	4. Chapter 4

**James' POV**

I watched Wood walk away, relieved that the last time we met seems to not have left quite as bad a sting as I was worried it would do. Perhaps we could try and become friends after all…

For some reason that idea left me with a funny feeling. It wasn't a bad feeling it was just strange, as if something warm had been dropped into my gut.

'Come on Freddie, we better go and say goodbye to everyone, my mum will never forgive me if the train leaves and I haven't seen her.'

* * *

><p>After we said goodbye to our family and boarder the train, we started trying to look for a free compartment.<p>

All around me girls were giggling and pointing at me and Fred. I couldn't help smirking at him, but he just rolled his eyes at me. I guess because he was so wrapped up in Sky, not that he'd admit that, all the female attention just rolled off him.

One girl, I think perhaps she was a fourth year, stopped in her tracks at the sight of us.

I smiled at her and winked saying, 'Well, well, well do you like what you see?'

She licked her lips flirtatiously and said, 'Perhaps I do…'

'Well maybe you're in luck.' I teased.

Fred snorted and grabbed hold of my shirt pulling me past the girl.

'Sorry dear but we've got to find a place to sit we've got important plotting to do on journey.' He explained.

I smirked at her again and said, 'Yeah sorry. I'd love to see more of you but important pranks must be pulled. But hopefully we'll meet again…' I trailed off, realising I still didn't know her name.

'Violet' she clarified before adding, 'don't worry I'll make sure that we do run into each other again. I can certainly imagine seeing more of you would be pleasant.'

'Oh honey you have no idea.'

Fred cleared his throat behind me, so after I rolled my eyes at Violet once and winked at her again, I turned and shouted a goodbye at her over my shoulder.

'Seriously man can't you keep it in your pants for one train ride?' Fred questioned the second we were out of earshot.

I snorted, 'What can I say when you've got it you've got it. I can hardly deny the poor ladies a piece of me…that would be cruel.'

Fred merely shook his head at me.

A little way further up the train we were once again forced to stop because of girl. This time it was Edith Bow who stopped us, as she practically threw herself out of the compartment she was sitting in with her friends and flung her arms around my neck dramatically.

'Jamsey Wamsey! I've missed you so much over the summer!'

Fred gave the two of us a dirty look. I guess he's still a little sore about that whole pink hair incident at the end of last year.

But right now I couldn't care less because Edith was busy whispering what she wanted to do to me in my ear, and Merlin knows if she is telling the truth it would be totally worth another head dunk in the lake!

The minute she told me where there was an empty compartment and she couldn't wait until we reached school to be alone with me, not to mention what she was busy saying about needing to see a naked me in the said compartment, I knew Fred was going to have to tussle me again later.

Oh well, it would well be worth it, who could ever pass up Edith Bow. Especially when she was talking about sucking my fingers…

'Ummm mate, do you mind finding a compartment for the two of us. I just have to help Edith out with something.'

He shot me a dark look but muttered to come and find when I'd 'helped' Edith.

And with that she grabbed my hand and pulled me away with so much force that I stumbled a bit.

* * *

><p>I was in heaven, pure heaven. I was getting it on with Edith Bow. Her hands have been everywhere and are currently playing with the zipper of my trousers. We're both already topless (her breasts are even more exquisite when they're not hidden by her clothes) I let my hands trail lightly down her sides. She moaned into my mouth, pressing herself against me, it just couldn't get any bett-<p>

'What the_ HELL_ do you think you are doing.'

'Shit.' Edith exclaimed, pulling away from me and diving for her top.

'Bollocks' I muttered, but couldn't resist adding, 'what the hell does it look like we were doing Wood.'

Of all the people who could have walked in on us, it had to be Hope and Michael Macmillan, a sixth year prefect and Captain of the Hufflepuff quidditch team.

Michael looked slightly taken aback to find us in such a compromising position, but I also got the feeling he was slightly amused.

Wood however looked like she wanted to scratch our eyes out. I tell you if looks could kill then we'd certainly be dead.

'Do either of you have ANY idea how many school rules you are breaking right now?'

'Oh Merlin yes, Hope I am so, so sorry. Honestly. And I didn't mean to pull you and Michael into this. Oh my, what must you think of me….' Edith babbled.

She was clearly sorry for what had happened and Hope must have seen it, as she visibly softened.

'It is ok Edith. I won't tell anyone so long as it doesn't happen again. I am going to have to take ten points off Gryffindor and ten from Ravenclaw though.'

She nodded and said thank you before practically throwing herself out of the door.

Great, that was perhaps the only chance I was going to have with Edith Bow and it was ruined.

'Bloody hell, don't you two have anything better to do than interrupt me.' I burst out angrily.

I know I was in the wrong. I'd been the one breaking the rules and Wood and Macmillan had just been fulfilling their duties as prefects. Still it was much easier to blame them for the fact that I'd just lost pretty much my only shot at shagging one of the most lusted after girls in the school.

Wood narrowed her eyes at me and shot back her response almost immediately.

'Really? You are really going to blame us for this? You couldn't even wait until you reached school for goodness sake! Merlin, at least there you would have more places to hide! No, not James Sirius Potter – he can't even keep it in his pants for one train ride…and really Potter who doesn't even lock the door if they don't want disturbing! And you know prefects patrol the corridors for goodness sake. And the two of you weren't even trying to keep it down! Just think yourself lucky all I did was take some points of you!'

Ok, so maybe Wood had a point, but I wasn't about to tell her that.

Instead I said, 'Oh please Wood. Since when did you know anything about this kind of thing anyway? Maybe if you get yourself a boyfriend and started getting some yourself you'd loosen up a bit and get the hell off my back.'

Shit, I hadn't really meant to say that. It was a very harsh thing to say and it wasn't even true. Hope didn't need to loosen up at all and I especially didn't like the idea of her loosing up by sleeping with a whole bunch of guys. For some reason the idea of any guy touching her made me feel uncomfortable. I had just wanted to say something to hurt her.

A look I'd never seen before crossed over her face and I couldn't even tell if it was upset or anger.

Michael cut in, I think to try and ease the tension more than anything.

'James perhaps you should just go. The two of you might end up saying something you regret if you stay here.' He half-heartedly smiled at me.

I guess like me he thought it might be a bit too late for that.

Urgh why can't I just think before I speak sometimes? Especially when I am around Wood….

I nodded at Michael and then brushed past them and headed down the train to meet up with Fred.

* * *

><p>I found Fred in the very last compartment of the train, sitting there with Mia, Roxanne and Rox's friend Brooke. The girls all smiled at me as I entered.<p>

As I sat down Mia said, 'Hey handsome how was your summer?'

'Not bad beautiful, yours?' she merely shrugged at that and said it was alright.

Fred looked at me and said, 'Well I guess you really can't keep it in your pants for one train ride.'

I sighed. Great, Fred was clearly still pissed at me, plus I was almost certain Hope was pissed at me now too. Suddenly Edith Bow didn't seem to be worth all the drama.

'Look man, I'm sorry ok, but please don't start. If you really want to know I didn't even get to get it out of my pants. Hope and Michael Macmillan walked in on us.'

'What?'

'They were doing their prefect patrol and I guess they heard something…'

'I'm assuming Hope was less than thrilled?'

'You could say that.'

'And did the two of you fight?'

I sighed and looked out of the window before replying.

'You could say that.' I muttered again.

* * *

><p>A few hours later the compartment door opened and Hope walked in with Sky, who has also been made a prefect for Ravenclaw.<p>

Hope wouldn't even look at me she sat down next to Rox and pulled out a book from her bag. She immediately hide her face behind it, so she could avoid contact with anyone.

Roxanne and Mia had obviously picked up that something was wrong, judging by the looks they were giving each other. Sky merely shrugged her shoulders at their questioning looks and flopped down next to Mia.

It was a bit of a tight squeeze, but it could be worse. I could literally feel Fred's mood lighten at Sky's presence. Well at least someone was happy.

God why did I have to be such an idiot. How could I have screwed things up so badly from this morning. We'd gone from joking and teasing , to this, and after we seemed to have put the last fight behind us as well!

I'd sworn to myself this year that I'd make an effort to be nice. I'd promised myself I'd try to actually get to know her and become a real friend to her.

I'd even told Fred I was going to be nicer to her this year. His response had been to scoff and say that if I could last a week without trying to pick a fight with her he'd do my homework for the rest of the year.

And he was right to think like that, as I hadn't even made it through the train ride….


	5. Chapter 5

**A big thank you to SexciiLexi for reviewing this story again - you keep me motivated to update!**

**Sadly I do not own Harry Potter...I wish I did, because then at least I would have some claim over Sirius Black...**

* * *

><p><strong>Hope's POV<strong>

Great. Less than a day into the new school year and I had already cried, and in front of Michael as well! Urgh I hate crying in front of people, especially people I hardly know.

Jeez what must he have thought of me, blubbering all over the place!

He was so nice about it though, he even offered me his handkerchief. He'd also tried to insult Potter on my behalf, but because he's such a nice guy it just didn't really work. But bless him he did apologise for how bad he was at insulting people and he said he's like to say more harsh things about Potter than he could muster.

After I had pulled myself together and cleaned myself up Michael and I finished our patrol together. He cracked a few jokes to try and make me smile, and whilst he didn't make me laugh out loud like Fred did, he did succeed in cheering me up.

Then after our patrol he offered to help me find Sky like the perfect gentleman. Really, I was rather touched by this.

We found her joking around with Dom, who was this year's Head Girl, in the prefect's carriage. I smiled at both of them and then turned to look at Michael. I was so grateful for how wonderful he'd been today.

'Are you going to be alright?' he questioned, concern clear in his eyes.

I couldn't stop smiling at him he really was such a good guy.

'I'll be fine Michael, honestly. But thank you for being such a super star today.'

He did a little bow and said 'You are welcome my lady.'

I laughed and pushed him playfully, while Dom and Sky shot each other a bemused look.

He smiled at me in return and then turned to Dominique and added, 'Anytime you want me to do a patrol with Wood let me know and I'll be there. She is kind of alright….'

He winked at me and Sky and Dom fell about laughing. I assume they were laughing at my complexion, as my face was burning bright red at his comment.

And then with that, he did a final bow to us all, before saying goodbye and heading off to find his own friends.

Immediately after he had gone Sky and Dominique rounded in on me, firing questions at me left, right and centre.

'What does he mean are you ok now?'

'Did something happen to you?'

'_Scratch that_ did something happen _BETWEEN_ you two?'

'Your eyes look a little puffy have you been crying?'

'Did he _KISS_ you?'

'Get a grip, she wouldn't look like she'd been crying if he kissed her, unless…oh Merlin, did he kiss you in such a lovely way that he made you cry?'

'And what exactly does he mean by you're ok and I can fix it so you guys have rounds again?'

I laughed at their insistent questions which were being fired at me so fast they were leaving me with no time to reply.

'Guys seriously nothing happened. Michael was just being nice.'

Although they both eyed me sceptically they let the matter drop.

'Right, well I will see you lovely ladies later. Right now I have a boyfriend to go and kiss.' And with that Dominique waltzed passed us and blew a kiss as she floated out of the door.

* * *

><p>Well I survived being in the same compartment as Potter for the rest of the journey, thanks to my trusty copy of <em>Little Women<em>.

I felt rather bad for ignoring everyone else. Especially Mia and Sky, I hadn't seen either of them over the summer because they'd both been away. But I just couldn't face speaking to them….

And if I looked up I might accidentally catch Potter's eye, or I might have to speak to him. Either way the idea didn't really appeal to me.

When the train pulled into the station I couldn't help thinking it wouldn't be too many hours now until I could go to my dorm room. Then I could crawl into my bed, pull the curtains around me and have a real cry.

I just couldn't believe I'd been so stupid as to think perhaps Potter and I could turn over a new leaf. After I'd seen him on the station with Fred this morning I'd had the strangest feeling that perhaps Potter and I were really destined to be great friends, rather than sworn enemies. Well now I felt like a stupid, sappy fool. I felt like he'd taken all my good faith and thrown it back in my face.

But I refused to let my mind think about that now. It was bad enough I'd cried in front of Michael, I would not do it now in front of Potter and our friends. I just had to put the hurt out of my head until after the feast. Once I was in my bed then I could let my composure go…

* * *

><p>The feast felt like it dragged on for hours. Usually I loved the first feast of the year and the sorting. But there was no longer anyone I'd grown up with to be sorted – all of Fred and Roxy's family have started now and Ollie had started last year – so the enjoyment had sort of been taken out of it. Not to mention Potter was sitting two seats down from me, with only Fred separating the two of us. So really, all in all, this year I just couldn't wait for the whole thing to be over.<p>

Every now and then Rox would ask if I was ok. Each time I would shrug and say I was fine, but she knows me so well I don't know why I was bothering to lie. Even when she stopped asking if I was ok she was still eyeing me sceptically.

Even Fred ventured to ask if I was ok at one point, although I think he was more concerned about the mountain of food I'd piled onto my plate and then failed to eat rather than my actual mental state.

Thank goodness Mia and Sky were sitting at their house tables or else I'd have to fight of their questions too.

* * *

><p>Finally after what seemed like hours the feast started drawing to a close. The Headmistresses, Professor Sprout, stood up to address the students.<p>

I felt a small burst of excitement when she raised the quidditch try-outs. Until I remembered that would mean working in close proximity to Potter….

Just the mere thought of his name made me feel like breaking down right there in the hall. I had to keep reminding myself to keep it together. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing how much he'd really upset me…and the worst thing was I couldn't help worrying that perhaps he was right. Perhaps I would be easier to get along with if I loosened up a little bit.

I tried to focus on what Professor Sprout was saying. She was currently saying something about Flinch and banned items. There was definitely something about Weasleys' Wizard Wheeze included in there. Merlin I need to pull myself together, I thought darkly, after all as a prefect it is important I know about these things.

I suddenly realised Sprout was dismissing us and telling the first years to follow the prefects. Shit, that was me. I jumped up, my chair toppling over from the sudden movement. I was just muttering my quick goodbyes to Fred and Roxy when I heard my name being called.

I turned to see Professor Longbottom rushing towards the table.

'Ahh Miss Wood I was hoping the headmistress and I could have a word with you and Mr Potter? The other prefects can make sure the rest of the house get into the common room alright.'

James looked up at the sound of his name, shooting me a puzzled look as he did so. I merely ignored him – if he thought I'd just forget about what he said earlier then he had another thing coming.

'Sure Professor.' I said smiling at him.

'Great, well come along.' He said happily to the two of us.

Potter stood up, clapped Fred on the back and told Albus and Lily he'd see them later. Then he followed Professor Longbottom and I out of the great hall.

The walk to the Headmistresses office was quiet and tense. Not only were my insides shaking at being so close to Potter, but a million angry thoughts were dying to come out of my mouth so he'd know exactly what I thought of him. But I wasn't sure I was strong enough to keep up my strong exterior if he poked fun at my lack of experience with the opposite sex, or if he implied I'd be more of a laugh if I had a good shag….the whole thing was just pig headed and it really touched a chord with me. Of all the things I thought of Potter, I had never once thought he would think like that.

Aside from my emotional state at being around Potter I was also really worried about being called into the headmistresses office…did they know about Michael and I catching Potter and Bow earlier? Was I in trouble for not reporting them?

I couldn't really see any other reason why Potter and I would have to see both the headmistresses and the head of our house. But if that was the reason why weren't Michael and Edith here?

Perhaps they were going to have to come with their heads of houses later? But then that would be pretty late…

Or perhaps they had already been seen by Sprout? But that can't be the case, Michael had smiled and waved at me from his table during dinner. He wouldn't have been so casual if he'd been reprimanded for letting off Bow and Potter….

Finally we reached the Heads office. My stomach was doing flip flops now and I felt sick. I was grateful I had hardly touched my food at dinner, or I think I may have thrown up all over the place.

I think Professor Longbottom must have noticed my discomfort, as he said kindly, 'No need to worry Miss Wood, you're not in any trouble.' Then he turned to the gargoyle and muttered the password.

In my fit of panic I'd forgotten about Potter even being present. That is until he whispered softly in my ear, 'Relax Wood, if we were in trouble we'd have heard a lot sooner, and Neville would look a lot more uncomfortable.'

I jumped a mile having been caught off guard by the sudden closeness of a boy I'd forgotten was even with us and who at this moment I am determined to hate. Apart from jumping I completely ignored what he said, trying to pretend that he wasn't with us.

When we entered the office Professor Sprout smiled broadly at us from behind the desk and I felt all my fear fade away. There was no way we were in trouble, if we were there is no way she would be beaming at us like that. Although it was hard to imagine Sprout being mad at anyone, she was always so jolly. Half the time you couldn't even find her in her office, she was always outside with her plants, and she constantly had mud between her finger nails. My dad always joked that you could take the Professor out of Herbology, but you can't take Herbology out of the Professor.

'Oh my dear Miss Wood and Mr Potter, how nice to see you! Did you both have a nice summer?'

We both nodded politely and said that we had had a lovely summer.

'Oh wonderful, wonderful! And Mr Potter I trust all your family are ok? Your dad is no doubt as busy as ever at the auror office?'

'Yes Professor. There's been a bit of uprising in dark magic across Europe I believe, so they've all been working very closely with different departments throughout the EU. And the rest of my family are also doing very well, thank you for asking.'

Sprout smiled broadly at him, somehow he managed to smitten even the teachers.

'Oh good, good. Well you tell Harry to be careful! That boy, he always throws himself into the thick of things, he's a very brave man. Very brave. And Miss Wood, I believe your family are all doing well? I hear through Professor Longbottom that your mother has had some wonderful breakthroughs at work.'

'Yes Professor Sprout she had. Some of the less complicated cases have started responding really well to the tonic she's been working on.'

'Oh wonderful, please do give your parents my best. Make sure you tell your dad there is still something of an Oliver Wood fan club here.' She actually winked at me as she said that.

Oh Merlin this was weird. Not really knowing what to say I just mumbled that I would be sure to do so. Next to me I could feel Potter shaking with silent laughter. Just ignore him, don't look at him, just act as if he isn't here I said over and over again in my head.

'Well I bet you are both wondering what you are doing here?' she asked and she smiled kindly at us.

Potter and I both nodded to show that we were both a little confused as to why we were here.

'Well dears, Professor Longbottom and I both thought we might need to go over some things concerning your co-captaincy on the Gryffindor quidditch team. I know the whole thing is very unusual, but Professor Longbottom as Head of Gryffindor house made such an impassioned case for allowing you both to develop your leadership skills that I couldn't say no.'

Professor Longbottom went bright read at this revelation, but I smiled widely at him to show how touched I was.

'Now I think both of you have proven your worth on the quidditch field. And you Miss Wood have shown amazing ability, respect and responsibility when it comes to school rules and work. Whereas I think perhaps the added responsibility may help to tame your wild ways Mr Potter.'

He looked a little sheepish at this. Well good, I thought bitterly. It is about time he took some responsibility for some of the idiotic things he did.

'That said I feel we need to lay down some ground rules. You must both work with each other to plan and exercise your quidditch practises. You must both be involved in the decisions that will affect your team, especially when it comes to actually choosing your team and your both responsible for how your team performs on match days.'

Potter and I nodded again to show we understood.

Professor Longbottom, who had been standing behind Professor Sprout and rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet, smiled at us both then added 'I hope you don't mind, but I've cleared it with Madame Pince that you can have the library to yourself on Friday evening. I know it may seem a bit overboard, but I thought the two of you should spend some time actually discussing your tactics and how you'll share the responsibility. You both need to shoulder the work equally. I am sorry it has to be a Friday evening, but I'm afraid it is the only night Miss Wood is free from prefect duties this week.'

We both said that Friday would be fine, although the idea of giving up my only free evening to be alone with Potter and Madame Pince hardly filled me with joy. But then I do love being in the library, at least that is a plus side.

'Great. Please can you both also report back your plan to me on Monday morning just so I am satisfied that you are both getting the most out of this captaincy.' Professor Longbottom said.

'Yes Sir.' We mumbled.

'Very well, that is settled.' Sprout said happily, 'the only other thing to say before you go is that if any other houses try and argue that you have an advantage because of your co-captaincy, rather than just one captain, then remind them that I have also told every other head of house that I will gladly allow the captaincy to be shared this year. The captain and the head of their house just need to bring their decision to me for approval. Now the two of you should get to bed, I have a feeling it is going to be a very busy year for both of you…especially you Miss Wood.' She smiled kindly at me and I couldn't help but grin back as I nodded at her.

Potter and I stood up to leave and just as I had reached the door Professor Sprout said, 'Oh and will both of you please try and put a stop to your little disagreements this year…I'm not expecting miracles but maybe refrain from cursing each other if you have to work together. Poor Neville here has really put his neck on the line for you and it would be a shame if his hard work resulted in one of you murdering the other.'

Potter laughed good naturedly and promised he'd try his best to be nothing but pleasant to me. All I could do was offer a very strained and watery smile, before I flung open the door to make my escape.

* * *

><p>I wasn't running, not really, I was just walking really fast and hoping Potter wouldn't catch up to me. No such luck though, he was at my side in about five seconds, curse his stupidly long legs.<p>

'Look Wood, about earlier I'm so-'

I cut him off, I had too. I couldn't stand to hear him apologise to me.

'Don't' I said stopping and looking down, 'please don't apologise to me Potter. Just don't speak to me ok?'

'But Woo-'

'No please Potter, just don't talk to me ok. I just can't really take it right now, besides the damage has been done. If you are really sorry then just stay away from me for a little while alright?'

I couldn't take it I didn't want to hear his apology right now. I didn't want to hear his excuses I just wanted to be in my dorm. Not standing here in the corridor trying desperately to keep the tears at bay until I could reach my bed.

'Alright' he said, sounding a little forlorn.

Well I wasn't about to feel sorry for him, he deserved it.

'I'll keep away from you as best I can. But Wood, I really am sorry I didn't mean it.'

'What you didn't mean to poke fun at my lack of experience with the male species? Or you didn't mean to imply that I was up tight and the way to make me more bearable was for me to just start shagging guys?'

I could feel the tears stinging my eyes, as my heart ached from both the anger and sadness cursing through me.

'Wood of course I didn't mean it.' He said softly, 'You just, you know, caught me at an awkward moment.'

I shook my head sadly, keeping my head down so he wouldn't see my face.

'Look Potter, forget it ok. I'm not really angry….but I just don't really want to speak to your right now. Please just leave me alone.'

And with that I turned and headed for the common room. This time I did run, as fast as my feet could carry me. I don't know why I was running, Potter definitely was not following me this time – I doubt he'd even moved from where I'd left him standing in the hallway. But all I knew was if I didn't reach my room soon I was going to have to sit down right here and burst into tears.

* * *

><p>I reached the common room, muttered the password and climbed in; praying that it would be empty and I could make it up to my dorm without being accosted. No such look though as Fred and Rox were sitting by the fire talking quietly.<p>

They looked up as I entered and smiled at me. I attempted a small smile back, but didn't stop walking – making a bee line straight for my room.

'You're back! Where is James?'

'How should I know Fred? I don't own him.' I snapped as I reached the stairs leading to my blessed bed. Almost there I thought to myself thankfully.

'Hey Hope are you ok?' Roxanne said as she grabbed my arm.

Damn, I hadn't even heard her come up behind me.

'I'm fine Roxy, I just want to go to bed.'

She eyed me sceptically.

'Are you sure?' she pushed.

'Yes ok I am fine. I'm just tired and I want to go to bed.'

I could tell she was still not convinced, but thankfully she decided to drop it. She let go of my arm and smiled at me.

'Alright, sleep well then. But if you need me you know where I am so just come and get me.' She said

I smiled back at her and said promised I would. I had just reached my door when she said my name again. I groaned to myself.

'Hmmm' I said without turning.

'I love you, remember that.' She said sweetly.

'I love you too.' I said truthfully, and with that I said goodnight to her and Fred and disappeared into my room

* * *

><p>Everyone else was asleep when I came in, thank Merlin. Sometimes I was really glad I didn't share a dorm with Roxy, Sky or Mia. Yes it could be hard sharing a room with four other girls that didn't really like you, but then on occasions like tonight I was thankful for the privacy.<p>

I climbed into my nice comfy four poster bed, drew the curtains around me and cuddled one of my pillows. I buried my chin into it and allowed myself to finally replay the day's events in my head, just as the tears started falling.

All of a sudden I missed my mum like crazy and wished she was there to hug me. It is crazy, I am nearly sixteen but sometimes a hug from my mum can be the best thing ever. I knew without a doubt that if she was here she'd put her arms around me and stroke my hair. She would whisper that everything was going to be alright, whilst listening to me as I told her what was wrong. Then she'd say that Potter was an idiot and that I was perfect.

Thinking of my mother brought me some comfort, but also made me feel incredibly homesick. I was almost temped to climb out of bed and sneak into Ollie's room and wake him up, just so I could feel closer to being home. I know he wouldn't mind but he'd only worry about me, and I didn't want that.

Finally after what felt like hours my tears subsided and I realised how exhausted I felt. I closed my eyes, still hugging my pillow close for comfort, and fell asleep instantly.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you again to everyone who has added this story to their update notifications, it means a lot to me!**

**And a special thank you to rainingrainbowfroggies64 for adding it to her favourites, and as always a special big thank you to SexiiLexi for being an awesome reviewer.**

**This chapter is a little different, as I felt perhaps we needed to see how someone else outside of James and Hope views their relationship. I'm not 100% happy with it, just because the other characters inner musings do not speak to me in the way that James and Hope's do, but I do feel it is essential. **

**I'm hoping to get another update done today but I can't promise anything. I have it all up in my head, but whether I'll have time to get it onto paper is another matter…**

**I start a new job tomorrow so my updates will probably become a lot less frequent as well, but please know that I will not abandon this story. I already have a lot of the big milestones in Hope and James' relationship planned out and I can't wait to see them develop into something real. So I will not just leave this story to die unfinished. **

**I'm desperate for them to finally become close friends, but I don't want to rush the story to reach that point, so just bear with me. There is nothing that I hate more than a story where two people who 'dislike' each other so strongly suddenly just decide they are in love or something silly like that. That is not how it works in the real world, nor would Anne of Green Gables or any Austen novel have been quite as enjoyable if that was how the two main characters got together. I want Hope and James to finally develop a friendship and to get to know each other properly, so that is what my intended aim is right now. And it will start to happen soon I promise, although clearly being the strong headed pair they are it won't be easy and they'll still find plenty of things to fall out about along the way…**

**Anyway on with the story!**

**Roxanne's POV**

I flopped into my seat next to Brooke and felt the Monday morning blues wash over me.

It really isn't fair that it is first thing Monday morning and here I am fighting to stay awake in History of Magic. Really I don't know who thought of putting this lesson first thing after the weekend, but whoever it was is clearly idiotic…and certainly on my list of people I'd like to punch.

You'd think that after two wizarding wars it would be an interesting subject to take, but unfortunately you would be sadly mistaken. I just can't imagine why anyone would like this stupid subject…but for some insane reason Hope loves it, clearly my best friend is just incredibly strange and medically unbalanced. I am surprised Katie, being both her mother and a trained medical professional, has not seen the signs already.

'Morning sunshine.' Brooke sang at me.

Why is she always so bloody chirpy in the mornings I thought darkly.

Brooke is one of those people who is always chirpy no matter what. She bounces around the castle smiling at everyone and singing to herself, she's like a cross between a kangaroo, The Cheshire Cat and a bluebird with the way she acts. But she's also a wonderful friend to have.

She loves Hope, James and Fred which makes my life incredibly easy, as it means I never need to worry about splitting my time between the friends and family I grew up being close to, and the best friend I have in my year. She's also a fellow Gryffindor, which rocks as I know it is often quite hard for Hope not having Mia and Sky to share a room with.

The only drawback to being such great friends with Brooke and having her in my dorm room is she is by far more of a morning person than me. Back in first year she used to insist on dragging me out of bed at some unholy hour to go to breakfast and then for yoga. Thank Merlin she has now given it up as a lost cause and she lets me sleep, choosing to go to yoga on her own and to meet me at our classroom.

'How was breakfast this morning, any melting of the tension or could you still cut it with a knife?' She asked smiling.

I just shook my head to indict the tension was still there, knowing exactly what she was referring too. James and Hope…

If I had the energy to open my mouth I would have said that breakfast this morning had been another awkward affair to endure. Something has clearly happened between James and Hope, I can tell. And it must have been pretty huge because they haven't even had a proper argument about it, and it is always the big stuff they stew over rather than fight over. If they're upset with each other usually it tends to be over something small. In which case they'll bicker, or have a huge blow out fight, but then they'll both feel better. Well I guess better isn't the right word, usually they both feel kind of guilty and over dramatic once their screaming matches are through – so they just go back to how they are with each other, snappy, insulting and just about tolerable

So this must be something huge and I'll bet anything it was due to James doing or saying something that upset Hope. It ALWAYS is. But she is flat our refusing to tell me what exactly he did, which is a little annoying. She is clearly quite upset, but she keeps refusing to talk about it and that really isn't the right way to deal with it. This happens all the time when Hope is upset, especially when she is upset with James, she'll keep it to herself despite the fact she is clearly hurting. It's all because she doesn't want to put any of his family in the middle of their bickering relationship.

As for James, well he's never really acted like this around Hope before. For the last three weeks he's become…..well I guess you'd have to call it soft for want of a better word. He tries to avoid her as best he can, but when he is forced to be in close contact with her he is nothing but civil. This is really unusual, ever since I can remember whenever he is around her he just can't wait to rile her up a little. So the fact that they haven't had a fight since school started and he doesn't appear to be trying to start one just freaks me out a bit…

At least when they are screaming, or making snide or derogatory comments at each other everyone knows where their relationship stands. Life when the two of them are not fighting is not right, it is not life as we know and love it.

Of course when I try and raise my concerns with my idiot brother he just shrugs his shoulders and says things will work themselves out. Well I'm really not so sure and he should be the one most worried out of all of us. Not only is he best friends with both James and Hope, but since he is actually in their year he has to endure them all day.

'This silence between them is just plain old creepy.' I said after a while.

'Amen to that! Hey has anything happened between her and Michael yet, or is she still flat out denying that anything is going on?' Brooke questioned lightly.

Haha yes Michael. At least one aspect of Hope's life is defiantly looking up, even if she does keep denying it. I can't see how she can keep on claiming nothing is going on though, Michael is clearly besotted with her.

'Nothing major to report. Dominique keeps kindly making sure they have their prefect rounds together and Sky said that whenever they have a prefect meeting he makes sure he sits next to Hope. She also said something about how he's always so enraptured with whatever Hope says.' I replied.

I wish sometimes that my best friend could have a bit more confidence in herself and the power she could wield over men if she would just realise her attractiveness. I also wish she could see what was bloody in front of her. Here is Michael, a lovely, clever, intelligent and funny guy giving her all the signals that he is into her – and she just keeps refusing to see it. She completely and utterly denies the prospect of Michael fancying her. It is infuriating!

She keeps claiming he is just a nice guy and he wants to be friends with us. Well I'm not about to buy that, he doesn't seem to be going to such extreme lengths to 'befriend' anyone else.

James seems to completely detest Michael. He keeps complaining that he doesn't see why Hope is so keen to spend time with him. In fact, according to my darling cousin Michael is nothing more than a wet blanket and he isn't worthy of Hope's time. This is because, according to James, Michael would never be able to hold Hope in an intelligent conversation, he wouldn't know what to do with Hope's strong imaginative streak, and he wouldn't be able to successfully channel her passion and energy.

Fred stuck up for Michael though, arguing that James was being very unfair to him. He tried to gently point out that Michael had received the third highest OWL results last year, he was almost as talented as James and Hope on the quidditch field, and he could always talk to Hope about books and prefect responsibilities. Since he is a member of her book group and a prefect.

James had been so annoyed about this apparent 'stab in the back' from his best friend that he hadn't spoken to him for two days as a punishment.

Honestly sometimes I wonder if James really does dislike Hope as much as he makes out, or whether it is more that he does like her, and I mean _really, really like her_. But because he just doesn't know what to do about it he acts like a bit of a dick. Then again sometimes I think perhaps he doesn't like her and he really is just that much of a dick…

Well whatever it is James and Hope better get over their latest tiff soon. I just want them to go back to their normal bickering selves.


	7. Chapter 7

**Firstly I want to say sorry for the typos and grammatical mistakes in some of my previous chapters. I know no one else has brought them up, but I've noticed them and I am very annoyed at myself for missing. My proof reading skills are one of the things I should really learn to work on and I am constantly telling myself off for having missed obvious mistakes. So I do apologise and I will try to work on it in the future and I appreciate your understanding in the matter.**

**Thank you to hubba jubba for your review. You rocked my socks with it! It is nice to know you think this story is somewhat different! And it was nice to have feedback on the chapter length also. I was a bit unsure about whether they were too long on some of my posts, so it is good to know that if I write a bit more you'll be ok with that…especially since I've been working on Chapter 8 and I think that one may be quite long **

**As always thank you to SexciiLexi as well for being my awesome reviewer and for mentioning my story on your own updates. It means more to me then you could know! I hope to read your story soon too, hopefully this weekend will be a quiet one for me and I can spend the day adding updates for this story and getting caught up on yours! **

**And once again thank you to everyone who has favourite this story or signed up for updates. I am honoured really and you guys inspire me to keep writing just as much as the characters themselves do!**

**Anyway here is chapter 7, I hope you all enjoy it!**

**James' POV**

It is the first Sunday in October and where can I be found? Not out causing trouble, but no sitting in one of the arm chairs in front of the fire in the common room trying to go over quidditch plays, whilst various members of my family are scattered around me. Many of whom are being highlight annoying.

Sitting on the floor in front of me Brooke and Roxanne are trying to finish of their essay on Vampires for Defence Against the Dark Arts, but they keep bickering about the best way to deal with a Vampire and what the actual course of action should be.

Across from me on the coach Lily has her nose buried in the latest book for Wood's book group. Lily has the same awe inspired feelings for Wood as Ollie seems to have for me. Perhaps that is why the two of them get on so well – they have some strange bond over how amazing they believe the others sibling to be,

Next to her Albus and Fred are amusing each other by trying to hex one another's hair unusual colours. So far Fred is winning for having hexed Albus' hair a truly brilliant shade of florescent green. They are being a little too loud about it though, so much so that it is hard to focus on anything.

I guess it is a good job both Rose and Lucy are in Ravenclaw and not Gryffindor as I'm not sure how much of this behaviour they could take. Lucy would definitely be a bit huffy about the fact that Sunday's should be a day to do work and _not_ mess about. After all, I myself had had to endure that lecture many times…

But truth be told Fred and Albus' antics are even starting to grate on me a little today, and I'm usually all for some good natured hexing. But seriously I am trying to concentrate here!

Is this what I am like usually? I mean, I am usually in Albus' place during these kind of situations…Pretty much up until I started using Sunday's to go over quidditch plays, Sunday's were always the days Fred and I would relax by plotting pranks or playing practical jokes on each other in the common room. In fact to make up for how boring I've been over the last few weeks, I've promised Fred if we win the first match of the season we can pull a prank like we've never pulled before.

Oh Merlin the two of them just won't shut up, am I always this loud when I do this kind of thing with Fred?

Jeez if it was no wonder Wood would always get so huffy at the two of us (mainly me of course, this is Wood after all) and would snap at us that she couldn't concentrate due to our antics and that we should remember that the common room wasn't just our playground but a communal area.

Speaking of Wood _where was she?_ I thought we were supposed to be going over quidditch plays together.

I bet she is with Michael I thought darkly. She's always with Michael now. And really I don't get why everyone thinks he's so special. He's a bore! I mean I can't imagine what he and Wood would ever talk about. She may be annoying at times, definitely a little high and mighty, but she is never dull. Michael just doesn't have the natural skills to help her channel all that fire she has.

The worst part of this whole Michael thing is if they do start dating I'm going to have to endure his dull company on a much more regular basis. Curse being friends with Fred and Roxy and their blasted love of that girl.

Not that Wood and I see that much of each other. Since that day on the Hogwarts Express we avoid each other as much as possible and we try to politely ignore each other as much as possible when we're forced to be in close proximity due to our friends. On the odd occasion when we are forced to acknowledge and speak to the other we keep a perfectly civil tongue and exchange as little dialogue as possible.

I can't say I like this development in our relationship. It just isn't us and I'm starting to miss her in an odd way. Without her there to bicker and argue with I have no one else to exercise that side of my character with. It isn't just that either, before all this happened Wood could always be counted on to help me good naturedly tease Fred – especially over Sky. But since we're not speaking that side of our relationship seems to have also died.

,I had thought things might thaw out between us once the quidditch practises started, but so far no luck on that front either.

Don't get me wrong when we're on the quidditch field we are on fire. After the try outs I was so happy with how everything went that I was convinced all the bitterness had been forgotten, we'd just been that much of a team and made such good progress leading together that everything else seemed to be so petty in comparison. I mean we had actually connected on a level that I didn't think Wood or I would ever be able to reach, let alone share.

Just the way she defended our choice of players, even if they are all related to me or her, was phenomenal. I can still see the looks on quite a few people's faces when she quite strongly pointed out most of Gryffindor was related to me and all of us had parents who had quidditch in their blood.

And the way she'd dealt with the number of girls from the JSP Fan Club (I'm not being big headed here, there is actually a fan club called the JSP Fan Club or fanatics or something or other) who'd basically only turned up to watch me flex my muscles…she was amazing.

She'd even back to her old ways of mocking me, telling me I was a Muppet (I'm still not sure what this means…? I think it is a muggles term?) that my head better deflate if I want to be able to ride my broom well enough to face the other teams, and I'd better help her get rid of them. Since, as she so brilliantly put it, we'd never win the cup if our team was made up of a bunch of giggling girls, half of whom weren't even in our house, and who would faint every time I smiled at them. Not to mention the amount who'd have to leave the team due to being used and abused by me, or those who would be disqualified from the team for threating another player who was coming on to me.

Life in those few minutes of banter felt like nothing had changed. It was almost perfect.

But when try outs were over she said we should meet up the following week to go over our game plan, picked up her broom and walked away without so much as a goodbye. And that is how it has been at every quidditch practise and tactics meeting we've had since. We'll be completely in sync and together, she'll even occasionally smile, but then when it is over she goes back to being pissed at me.

What annoys me the most is it isn't like I haven't apologised. I have, on plenty of occasions. In fact I've apologised pretty much every day since I said what I said. I know that what I did was insensitive and uncalled for, but I can't help feeling a little pissed right back at her now.

I mean she is blowing it way out of proportion and I have said I am sorry….

'Have any of you any idea where Wood is?' I asked, not even bothering to look up from my book.

Of course this offered Albus the perfect opportunity to have a dig at me.

'Why, you missing your girlfriend?' he asked in a mock sickly sweet voice.

Damn Albus. This has been one of his favourite ways to taunt me since his second year.

'No idiot we just have quidditch plays to go over…anyway you're one to talk. I notice buck toothed Becky has been hanging around you constantly since school started. Something you need to share with the fam Al?'

He scowled at me, but before he had a chance to respond Lily piped up from behind her book, doing a very good impression of our mother.

'BOYS! Behave. James, Becky is a perfectly lovely person and you're mean to speak of her like that. And Albus, Hope has far better taste in boys than to go out with James….you insult her to imply she'd ever be James' girlfriend.'

Honestly sometimes it amazes me that Lil is the youngest, out of all of our extended family as well, because she is by far the most brilliant and mature of all of us. She is certainly wise beyond her years.

Not that I'm happy about her snide comments towards me.

'They certainly fight like an old married couple and she is ignoring him like they've had a lovers tiff.' Albus muttered.

Fred laughed jollily at Al's comment, whereas Roxy finally turned her attention away from her homework to eye me coolly.

'She's ignoring him because he's done something. I don't know what but he has done something.' She said.

I let out a frustrated sigh. Great just what I need, Roxanne to be annoyed at me also.

'Did you ever consider that maybe _SHE _did something. Why am I always the guilty one?' I asked annoyed at her accusation.

'Because you always are the guilty one mate.' Fred said as he winked at me.

'And you are the one being sickly sweet to her now, whereas she is the one ignoring you.' Brooke added, not even looking up from her homework.

Fantastic now all my family and all their sodding friends were having a go at me.

I was seriously contemplating getting up and leaving when the portrait hole swung open and in came Wood with Sky in tow.

All my inner turmoil over the last half an hour, not to mention the last five weeks of being nice to her without getting any forgiveness back, seemed to collide in one mass rage as I looked up at her.

'Where the _BLOODY HELL _have you been?' I spat out angrily, 'we have quidditch plays to go through you know.'

'I'm aware of that Potter, but since it is only two now and we said the early evening I figured I was allowed sometime to myself. And if you must know where I was I was in the library finishing off my transfiguration essay, since I can't ever bloody get any work done in here with the amount of rack you and Fred tend to make. Some of us actual care about doing well in our OWLS you know.' She snapped back, her eyes narrowing at me and her expression challenging me to try engaging her in a argument.

I could feel everyone's eyes on us in anticipation, it was clear this was going to be a blow out fight between us.

'Yeah whatever, I bet you weren't alone whilst doing you essay were you?'

'And just what is _that_ supposed to mean?'

'I bet you used your essay to buddy up with Michael. I can almost hear the two of you…oh Michael do you really think that this will impress the professor so I can carry on licking their arses for them…oh Hope blah blah blah, that is all Michael can say really blah blah blah.'

'What the_ HELL_ is your problem? And just what exactly is your issue with Michael? You don't even know him! And for your information I've only seen Michael for about half an hour – Sky's been with me since eleven. We were working on our essay together!'

'Oh so your blowing off your quidditch responsibilities for Sky are you? Someone you see every day….'

'Leave Sky out of this, she hasn't done anything!' Fred cut in passionately.

I turned to glare at him and noticed at some point he'd also given up his seat for her. I think turned back to Wood, scowled at her and continued on my rampage.

'You want to know what my problem is with Michael? He's boring. I can't see how you can stand to be around him, but not only do you put up with him but you make everyone endure his awful company too. Seriously Wood what do you see in him?'

'What do I see in him? He's funny, smart, kind and intelligent….not to mention a gentleman! I'm not surprised you can't see the attraction to him, since you lack all of the above qualities! And I am sorry if having Michael around is an annoyance to you or just too boring. Maybe now you know what it feels like to have to endure your endless list of conquests. It's every other bloody week. I've lost track of the number of nameless and faceless bimbos I've had to make pleasant with at birthdays, in our common room, at lunch, at breakfast – Merlin all the bloody time! And you'll just have to learn to live with Michael being around because he's going to be there a lot more now!'

Wait, what the hell is that supposed to mean. No surely she wouldn't…

'Oh Hope, please don't say you mean to…no, you're not actually contemplating going out with that bore are you?'

'No I'm not contemplating it.' She said calmly.

I smiled despite myself. Good, even Wood is too good for him, even if she is all high and mighty. My smile quickly vanished and was replaced by a scowl by what she next said.

'I'm not contemplating it because I've already said I'll go out with him.'

A resounding 'WHAT!' came from everyone in the room except Sky, who I assume already knew all about this.

'How COULD you?' I asked rather dramatically.

'It was easy really, he asked me out to the Hogsmade Halloween weekend and to the fancy dress party in the evening. I said yes. _So deal with it._'

The two of us stood there glaring at the other for a while before Roxy interrupted, her voice full of delight, _'I KNEW IT!_'

And with that she bounded up off the floor, grabbed Hope into a hug and let out a little squeal. Hope pulled away shooting Rox an honest to Merlin genuine smile.

In that instant she looked beautiful. If I didn't know her I'd probably imagine her to be far more incredible than she is just from that smile. But then as quickly as it came it went, as she turned to scowl at me again.

She eyed me angrily and said, 'I'm going to get a book for Sky. I promised her I'd lend it to her which is why she is here. So if you think you could bare to spare me for a further two seconds I'll just go and get it for her, as I'd hate for her to have had a wasted trip. And then we can work on these blasted quidditch plays since you are so bloody keen!'

And with that she stomped up stairs to her room.

There was tense pause before Sky burst out happily, 'Well at least you two are fighting again!'

'Woop!' Brooke added.

'About bloody time!' Rox stated.

And at these exclamations Fred, Albus and Lily fell about laughing.

I smiled despite myself. They were right, if Wood was arguing with me then it must be business as usual between us again. Even if I was going to have to endure Michael her bore of a new boyfriend….


	8. Chapter 8

**Hi guys, this chapter is a pretty long one but it is one of my favourites just because James is utterly lovely! **

**Once again thank you to everyone who has added this story to their notifications or their favourites, you guys rock my world – seriously!**

**And as always thanks to my loyal reviews!**

**hubba jubba – Yeah James is starting to feel a little uneasy, but being a guy he obviously isn't too aware as to why it is. But we all know ;)**

**rainingrainbowfroggies64 – I know, I want her with James too and it will happen I promise. I have it all planned out in my head, and I am so excited for when it does – it will be worth the wait I promise! And Michael's not a bad guy, he isn't right for Hope obviously and he's going to have a few storylines that show that – one big one in particular – but he's not a terrible guy. Perhaps a bit dull though, and definitely not someone who could spark Hope's fiery passion, as James points out in the previous chapter….but he's a bit slow so I don't think he's really realised that the one person who sparks her fire is him!**

**SexciiLexi – As always you keep me inspired to write and I'm glad the last chapter picked you up when you were down! I hope this one pleases you too…and yes, whenever I do the story from James POV I always like it. It is nice to see that he isn't necessarily so reckless in regards to other people's feelings.**

**Harry Potter is sadly not mine :(**

**Anyway on with the story!**

* * *

><p><strong>Hope's POV<strong>

The Hogsmade weekend rolled around faster than I thought it would. I'd been so busy with school work, book group, quidditch training (which had really gone up a notch recently) prefect duty and duelling club, that really the time had just flown by.

Not only did this weekend mark my first official date with Michael, but it was also two weeks until our first quidditch match of the season, which was to take place against Slytherin. Truth be told that had me far more freaked out than my date with Michael, every time I thought of the match my stomach went on its own rollercoaster ride and I felt like crying from the pressure.

James, on the other hand, couldn't wait. He was like a kid at Christmas and kept laughing at my constant state of nervousness. He says we have nothing to worry about because we have it in the bag. He does have a point as well, the team are amazing and with every practise session we just seem to get better and better. But still the butterflies are refusing to leave the nest they've built in my gut.

Despite being more nervous about the upcoming quidditch match I was still nervous about my date with Michael. All the girls laughed at me because of this, after all we'd spent plenty of time together already and after he'd asked me out he'd made a real effort to try and be around when I had a free minute. Which wasn't much considering most of my free time over the last few weeks had been utterly devoted to the upcoming match, Merlin sometimes it was like Potter and I saw more of each other than a married couple would do…

I have tried to point out to the girls as nicely as I can that although I've spent plenty of time with Michael before, it has never been like this before. This is different, this is a date and perhaps there are certain expectations and assumptions over what should happen on a date. I don't want to disappoint Michael but childishly I am terrified of being kissed….I've just never done this sort of thing before so it is all very new to me. And I feel like I'm miles behind other girls my age, I feel like they all know these secret signals and these secret codes to do in order to keep the mood right. But I'm just plain old me, I'm not sure what to do….

I guess my fear of kissing Michael seems stupid, especially since I'm in the same group of friends as James and he's famous for sleeping around, I bet he'd have a good laugh to hear about how much someone's lips touching mine freaked me out….let alone any other part of his body – oh Merlin, just don't think about that right now!

Being friends with Mia should also probably have loosened me up a bit, after all she is hardly as pure as snow either. But it hasn't. The simple fact is I've never kissed a boy before, I'd never even really thought about it before Michael came along. Before he suddenly burst into my life I wasn't even bothered about having a relationship with a boy at all. I was perfectly happy with my friends, my books, quidditch and arguing with James. So the only reason I am terrified is because this whole experience is just totally foreign to me.

Of course all the girls don't really see this. They just rolled their eyes at me when I tried to say this to them. Expect Roxy, she put her arms around me and said I would be fine, kissing me on the cheek to calm me down a little.

So the 31st October found me standing in front of the mirror in the girls bathroom desperately pulling at my blue cardigan trying to work out if I looked acceptable enough for a date.

I was wearing my blue skinny jeans, a red scooped neck top and my blue cardigan. I'd also put a hairband in my hair, so my brown curls were pulled back off my face and cascading down my back instead. I had on minimal makeup, I've never really worn a lot during our other times together so I didn't see why this should be any different. If he liked my face enough to ask me out, then he should like my face enough to deal with it now.

Finally I felt like I could face the world, which was good as the girls in my room were stomping around obviously angry that I was in the bathroom, so I reluctantly vacated the safeness of the room.

* * *

><p>I flounced down into the common room only to be met by a mass of wolf whistles and catcalls from my friends. Sky and Mia were even present; I guess one of the others helped them get in. Though I was flattered by everyone's support, I kind of wish they hadn't gone so far. The added attention just made me feel even more nervous and self-conscious.<p>

Rox walked up to me, threw her arms around me and proclaimed quite happily, 'You are a totally hottie! I may need to vacate the name Foxy Roxy as there is clearly another Fox to challenge me for the title.'

I groaned, Merlin this was embarrassing. Potter obviously sensed my discomfort because he started laughing heartily. I scowled at him to show it wasn't funny, which just seemed to make him laugh more. Recently things between us have gone back to the way they were and the lack of tension was nice. Just saying out right what I thought of him was so much easier than trying to ignore him. His laughter died down after a minute and he winked at me.

Then he said rather joyfully, 'No need to look so bloody uncomfortable and black about the attention Wood. What Rox is saying is that you are smoking hot and when you relax a bit you can really spike a few people's interest. And I whole heartedly agree with her, I mean if you weren't such a high and mighty bossy sod I may even be jealous of Michael's good luck at taking you out.'

I laughed at his comment. Really for James that was quite sweet. Well sweet considering what he usually said to me.

So the next statement out of his mouth made my jaw hang open with shock.

'And Wood, try and relax and enjoy today ok. I know you're worried about the coming quidditch match but you don't need to worry, you're the most talented player in the whole school and you truly are a great Captain. We're going to kick ass!'

And then he smiled at me, the most sincere smile I've ever seen him shoot anyone.

It wasn't just me that seemed to be reeling from the shock either, everyone was staring at him as if he had grown two heads or something.

Finally Albus broke the silence by exclaiming, 'Ok who are you and what the hell have you done with my brother? Is this some polyjuice potion trick?'

'Oh sod off Albus!'

Nope that definitely isn't polyjuice potion that retort had James Sirius Potter written all over it.

Suddenly the daze of James' complimentary words was lost as people used this remarkable turn of events to tease him relentlessly.

'What was it, some kind of nice I'm not going to be an arsehole potion you drank this morning?'

'Who's put a little Wood love potion into your drink then?'

'Did Fred accidentally hit you with too many bludgers in practise last night?'

James, who was suddenly very red in the face – I mean he was actually full on blushing, even his neck had a tint of pink too it – just shook his head in annoyance at their incessant digs.

'Man, you guys are always telling me I need to be nicer to Wood and then when I am this is how you treat me…would you prefer it if I went back to upsetting her?'

Roxy patted his hand and said, 'Of course not Jamsey, but can you blame us for teasing you? Seriously it is you and Hope…plus it isn't like you don't tease us back just as much. Karma is a bitch darling.'

Well, he couldn't argue with that.

'Urgh, let's all go down for breakfast shall we?' he muttered and then stomped out of the portrait hole.

* * *

><p>After breakfast was over I stood up from my seat between Fred and Rox and took a deep breath.<p>

'You'll be fine.' Dom said smiling, half reassuring and half amused.

'You'll be more than fine and you'll totally knock his socks off. I love you.' Rox said, patting my hand affectionately.

Fred suddenly had a dark look on his face and said, 'You'd better not knock his socks off, his socks better stay firmly on his feet….and his other clothes better stay firmly on for that matter.'

Roxanne snorted at that and Dominique shook her head in amusement.

'Fred-'

'No Hope I mean it. You are so lovely and trusting and you've never been out on a real date before. I swear on the grave of Albus Dumbledore if he tries to touch you I'll hex him so badly he'll resemble a blasted ended screwt by the time I've finished.' Fred let out passionately.

To be honest I'm not sure what blasted ended screwts had to do with it, or exactly what they looked like, but Fred obviously felt very strongly about this. It didn't surprise me really either, Fred is like a brother to me. And all the boys in the Weasley/Potter clan are stupidly protective of the girls. Stupid macho traditions they have – although I was touched he cared so passionately about me.

I was however surprised when Potter added, 'Here, here!'

When we all turned to stare at him he merely shrugged his shoulders and said, 'What? I can't very well have some sleazy guy breaking the heart and spirit of my Co-Captain can I? If he hurts you in any way he'll live to regret it. I mean I swear I will break his face. Other than that have fun!'

'Hmmm, ok thanks I guess…see you guys later.' And I turned to leave the hall.

* * *

><p>So far the day with Michael has been amazing. He took my hand the second we met, lacing his fingers with mine and sending tingles all the way down my body.<p>

The first stop of the day was in Honeydukes, since it was Halloween and I was dying to get a HUGE stock of sweets to make the occasion. A throw back to my muggles roots I guess.

Then we went to the Three Broomsticks for a butterbeer. We took a seat in the far corner were sucked into conversation.

We discussed both of our families, which was really nice since his dad is muggles born and therefore we have similar experiences of having to mix the magical with the muggle world. It was wonderful to speak about my grandparents with someone who finally understood the difficulty of having been raised in a magical world which you could never really share with them, the only other person I've ever had in my life who understood how hard it can be is Ollie. Everyone else either comes from a completely magical or muggle background, or do not have any grandparents to speak of.

Whilst we were discussing our families he got a really funny look on his face and said, 'You really love Ollie don't you? It isn't just the kind of lov you have to feel because he's your brother, it is the kind of proud love – like you really admire him as a person?'

This shocked me a little. Of course I loved Ollie because he's this amazing person. Surely anyone could see how amazing he was.

'I do. Not only is he my little brother but he's an amazing person in himself. He has a heart of gold and a wicked sense of humour, not to mention he's incredibly loyal and protective. He is honestly one of the best people you could ever hope to meet. He is a much better person than me.'

He smiled at me then and said, 'I don't necessarily agree with that, I happen to think you're both pretty ace. Your parents must be wonderful people to have produced two incredibly amazing children. But it is really nice to hear how close you are to Ollie, I kind of envy you that. My older brother and I have never really seen eye to eye.'

'I'm sorry.' I said truthfully. I couldn't imagine how hard that must be.

I've always been really close to Ol, and growing up around the Weasley clan they've always been incredibly close too – not just to their siblings but all the cousins. Even Lucy and Molly, who tend to be more on the outside, are still really close to everyone they're just not best friends like all the others are. It is funny as well, age never seems to be much of a barrier with them – Dom is frequently with Roxy despite the three year age gap. So it really gets to me when I think other people kind of miss out on that.

'Don't be silly, you reaffirm my faith in family values that is all.' He replied kindly to me.

We laughed at that and then moved on to talking more about quidditch. Michael had a million questions about what it was like being the daughter of a quidditch legend. He was particularly interested in which famous players I'd met as a result of my dad, not to mention he found it fascinating to hear about how some of his sporting idols were just regular people to me – because I'd grown up with them coming over for dinner and things.

I spent a good half an hour mocking his love of the Chudley Cannons, a team that is always pretty much bottom of the league. He defended them passionately though, which I respected immensely. They were his mum's favourite team, so he'd grown up always attending the matches and he had many happy memories associated with her surrounding them too, so really I guess it is quite sweet.

The conversation soon moved on to our own quidditch experiences and how practises were going for both of us and how we were finding captaining our individual teams.

'How do you feel about your looming match?' he asked kindly.

My mind flickered back to James' advice to just enjoy myself today and forget about the coming game.

'I've been pretty nervous about it to be honest. Do you mind if we kind of steer clear of talking about it? James said I should just put it out of my head today and relax, and although I am loathed to agree with anything James says I think he is right. Unless of course you want to be responsible for dealing with my neurotic fears?'

He laughed and smiled at me whilst nodding his head.

'Ok, if that is what you want. How is the Co-Captaincy going?'

'Amazing. I never would have believed how dedicated and hardworking James could be towards something if I hadn't seen it for myself. Shockingly we seem to actually make a pretty good team.'

Michael smiled at me again, but this time it looked a little strained. He quickly changed the subject onto school work and lessons. We discussed our favourite lessons and I was surprised to discover his was charms, I had always pegged him as a potions man myself. He guessed straight off that I loved transfiguration, DADA and muggles studies.

Then we discussed my book group and he had nothing but great things to say about it. He'd been a really active member so far this year and I was so pleased that he was so keen to get involved. He made me blush with the amount of compliments he showered me with.

Before we knew it over two hours had passed us by whilst we sat in the Three Broomsticks talking.

'Blimey shall we make a move somewhere else? Or would you prefer another butterbeer?' He asked.

'No let's make like a tree and get out of here shall we? The weather looks nice outside and we shouldn't waste it – at the end of October it is a miracle to see weather that amazing. Shall we go for a walk?'

He grinned at me and told me that sounded perfect.

We had just reached a small wizarding game shop on the corner of the high street when we practically collided with James, who was exiting the store.

When he noticed it was us he flashed his best smile and said joyfully, 'Ahhh Hope, Michael, I hope you're both having a splendid day. I particularly hope you've been relaxing Miss Wood as we discussed?'

'Haha, yes I have thanks for Mr Potter. We've been having a lovely day and I've had no major mental breakdowns over the Q word yet…' I answered, grinning ear to ear.

I honestly don't know why Potter can't be like this every day, he's such an amazing person to talk when he is.

Potter smiled at us, me in particular, but I also saw something flash through his eyes when he noticed my hand entwined with Michael's, an emotion I couldn't quite place my finger on seemed to briefly affect his casual composer. It disappeared as soon as it appeared and I wasn't 100% sure I hadn't imagined it.

'Excellent. Well Michael, make sure you keep her distracted and bouncy, and you know…be aware if you do anything to hurt her the quidditch team will be coming for you – particularly Fred and I.'

I rolled my eyes at his playful threats.

Michael however had a very strange look on his face and merely nodded curtly, before adding rather flatly, 'Oh don't worry Potter I'm sure I can keep her distracted and bouncy. I don't really need your help or advice to do so.'

James seemed to colour ever so slightly at that, but kept his composer in all other regards, merely shooting Michael a quizzical look and saying 'Jolly good. I'll see you crazy kids later.'

And with that he practically bounced away to do whatever it is James does when he is on his own – Merlin knows how disturbed I'd be if I actually found that out.

I looked over at Michael, he still had that same strange look on his face.

'Are you alright?' I asked.

He looked at me, a very strained smile on his lips and asked meekly, 'You and James…what's the story?'

I look at him, baffled by what he could mean.

'What do you mean what story?'

'Well what is the history between you two? Is there something I should be more aware of? Because I like you Hope, I really, really do. But I'm not about to put myself out there for a girl who may be better for someone else – I won't put myself into the middle of someone else's love story. It isn't fair to anyone involved.'

I started at him for a second, amazed at this speech. That Michael could even think there was something between me and James, some love story, was just mental. Literally, it was the most hilarious thing I have ever heard, so I did the only logical thing I could do, I laughed. And I mean side splitting laughter that made me double over.

When the laughter subsided I pushed him playfully and said, 'Seriously Potter and me? Are you mental? I mean are you honestly clinically insane? I'd rather know if you are because I'd rather not put myself in the middle of things if you are.'

I winked at him and my outburst, teasing and amusement at his question seemed to have pacified him somewhat. He still looked a bit doubtful though so I decided the best thing to do was take a deep breath and tackle the issue head on.

'Look, Potter is best friends with Fred and I love Fred too, but me and James have never seen eye to eye. Since Potter is his family I can hardly ask him to disown him on my behalf can I? And besides I would never want too. A true friend would never ask you to choose between them and someone else. But as I said Potter and I have never seen eye to eye, our relationship is well…complicated. We've known each other for years and we've just never gelled. We spend most of our time fighting, sometimes it is more like playful banter but other times it is like that day on the Hogwarts Express. I mean, you've seen how mean we can be to each other! But since there is Fred and Rox and to some extent Mia and Sky to consider now, we've just had to learn to live with each other for their sake. Plus this year there is the whole quidditch issue, so really we just try and make the most of a bad thing. But honestly, that is the whole history so Michael you're really not getting into the middle of some epic love story, I promise. The day Potter and I have something to get into the middle of is the day the world stops spinning and pigs fly….'

I smiled at him before adding lightly, 'By the way I really, really like you to.'

He looked me in the eye and then smiled to show he believed me. Then he stepped forward, laced his other hand with mine, so both sets of our fingers were entwined, and asked softly, 'What about Fred…anything between the two of you I should be worried about?'

Then he took another step forward, his scent was invading every part of me and he was so close I could feel his breath on my skin. Suddenly my childish fear of kissing had faded and my heart was beating wildly in anticipation.

I shook my head and whispered, 'No not at all. He's like a brother to me and he's totally obsessed with Sky.'

He nodded to show he understood then took another step, his lips hovering over mine and then said, 'And no one else? No other boys I should be aware of in that large mass of friends you have?'

I shook my head, I couldn't speak. My voice seemed to have disowned me totally, not that it mattered, I think in that moment I probably wouldn't have been able to remember how to speak.

He grinned ear to ear at my feeble attempt at communication though and seemed to understand my meaning. It was obviously all that he needed because he softly muttered the word good before dipping his head and kissing my lightly on the lips.

My world melted in those seconds. I mean I couldn't imagine anything better than this feeling in my stomach.

When Michael pulled back he smiled at me sheepishly and said, 'I've wanted to do that for ages, but I was never sure you felt the same…'

I looked up at him, grinning from ear to ear and said 'Yes I did, I mean I do. I want this Michael….being with you is nice and easy and I just always feel so much better around you.'

He smiled at me even more, grabbed my hand and we resumed our walk. As we rambled through the streets Michael asked me about my friendships with Roxanne and Fred and how it had developed.

I shrugged and said, 'Well their parents are really close with mine. They were all on the same quidditch team whilst at school and it kind of grew from there really. My mum's particularly close to Angelina, there were only three girls on the team you see so they kind of all bonded together. And when I was born my parents asked George and Angelina to be my Godparents and they've pretty much been like family ever since. So I guess I pretty much grew up with Fred and Rox and all their cousins, I can't really imagine what my life would be like without any of them.'

He smiled at me and kissed my hand muttering something about how lovely and loyal I was.

At about 4pm we decided we should probably head back so we could get ready for tonight's party.

When we finally reached the castle Michael turned to me and kissed me once again, with more passion and force this time. When he pulled away he smiled broadly at me and said he would see me later.

* * *

><p>When I reached the common room all the girls crowded around me instantly. Sky and Mia were once again present, making sure they didn't miss a thing.<p>

'What happened?' Dominique asked.

'Did you have fun?' Sky chimed in.

'_Please_ say you jumped his bones!' well that is a typical Mia thing to say.

'Oh please Mia, Hope isn't you….she doesn't just jump every guy! She's too much of a virgin for such behaviour. I bet she didn't even kiss him.' Brooke said in her usual chirpy voice, winking at Mia to show she didn't mean anything insulting in her comment.

'_Oh please_ she kissed him, I can tell. And I'll bet anything they are official now to!' Roxanne spoke up, easily reading me.

I rolled my eyes at them and informed that we hadn't agreed we were official in so many words, but we pretty much were.

They all squealed excitedly before pulling me away so we could get ready for the party.

* * *

><p>Dominique had done a wonderful job with the party, better than anyone expected in fact. Everyone, including the Slytherins, had kept to the costume rules and no one was dressed as any banned figures such as Voldemort, death eaters or werewolves (this was banned as the school felt like dressing as a werewolf would continue to add to the stereotype and misconception that werewolves were evil creatures.). The decorations looked amazing and the music was perfect. Dom had gone for a number of muggles songs about ghosts and monsters, but she had also added a number of magical based bands and singers to the playlist. She really was one hell of an amazing Head Girl.<p>

I was having a great time. Michael look ever so dashing in his knight costume, although we did look rather silly dancing with each other…a knight in shining armour dancing with a vampire countess just didn't seem right.

We must have been there for at least a couple of hours when James came up to us and politely asked Michael if he could have the next dance with me. He added that he wanted to show people what co-captains could do on the dance floor as well as the quidditch pitch, he also smiled at me and said something about as long as the lovely lady also wanted to dance with him that is. Michael looked a little uncomfortable with the idea but said he was ok with it if I was. I jumped up and took Potter's outstretched hand and muttered that I'd be back soon.

Just as we reached the dance floor a slow song started and I stopped a little unsure of whether we should wait until the tempo kicked up again.

'James maybe we should wai-'

I was cut off as James spun me to him and into his arms with complete ease. Really it was rather impressive, that man had moves!

He smiled as I glided into his arms and said, 'What's wrong Wood? Too chicken to slow dance with me, or are you just too worried that being this close to me you won't be able to resist me and you'll forget about your boyfriend over there and do something wild with me that you'll regret in the morning?'

I tried to scowl at him but my mouth kept twitching in amusement.

'Just relax Wood, I am a good slow dancer. In fact I'd go so far as to say I'm an epic slow dancer, I mean there has never been a slow dancer like me before in the history of the universe!'

He winked at me and I just couldn't hide my smile any longer. Sometimes arguing with James really is just impossible because his charm could breakdown even my hard outer shell and get to my gooey inner layer. It sometimes even seemed shocking to me, on the very rare occasion when I did let his charm break down my defences, that we weren't always the best of friends.

'You know you can be very smooth when you want to be Potter.' I said good heartedly.

He flashed me a wicked grin and laughed a little before joyfully exclaiming 'Well Miss Wood that is what the ladies tell me. Could you also be falling for my magic? It is ok if you are, many others before you who were just as strong and proud as you are have been unable to fight off my superior sexual magnetism and my boyish charm.'

I laughed outright at that and gave him a friendly punch on the arm. He smirked at me before spinning me away from him then pulling me back again and dipping me. He then span me back up and around to face him once again, putting his arms around me and continuing to move both of our bodies in time to the music.

He then suddenly surprised me by saying, 'You know sometimes I think I enjoy making you laugh like that just as much as I like making you argue with me. Perhaps even a little more…'

That was really not what I was expecting to come out of his mouth and it caught me completely off guard.

'So why do you always try and pick a fight rather than try and make me giggle?' I asked curiously.

He shrugged and muttered that old habits die hard. Which to be fair I agree with.

'Well maybe we should agree right now on the dance floor to turn over a new leaf? Maybe this year we should put old habits behind us and try and pick up some new ones, maybe actually give the whole friends thing a real go?' I questioned trying to step lightly as I went. This was definitely new territory for us and I wasn't sure how he would take it.

He completely surprised me by smiling broadly at me and saying, 'That sounds like an excellent idea…but we can still bicker and fight though right?'

I laughed then but agreed that we could. After all, we wouldn't be us if we totally gave up fighting with each other – and I'm not sure if our friends would know what to do with us if we weren't bickering.

'You know I feel we're meant to be brilliant friends Wood, we've just been a little bit side tracked on our journey to becoming so.'

'Recently I've been thinking that too.' I admitted.

'Plus we're totally an awesome double act. I mean our quidditch captaincy is kick ass, you're the best partner in crime I could ask for when it comes to teasing Sky and Fred about the other, whilst secretly hatching plans to get them together. And look at our outfits tonight – we are totally in sync!'

It was true he had also dressed as a vampire count. It was as if we'd read each other's mind. I laughed lightly then changed the subject.

'So who's the woman you've brought tonight? She's a new addition to your women right, I haven't seen her before….'

'Ahh yes she's Violet DeChamp and she's a fourth year Slytherin.' He stopped to twirl me once again, but when I was safely back in his arms he continued, 'We met on the first day of term. She was eyeing me up on the Hogwarts Express.'

I shot him a quizzical look and asked, 'Before or after you got Edith Bow naked in an empty compartment?'

He looked at me sheepishly and said, 'Before. And Edith wasn't completely naked, you unfortunately stopped me before I could manage that.'

I rolled my eyes and shook my head at him.

'You're a bit of a pig you know that? But sometimes your majestic hold over other women fascinates me. So how long do you plan on seeing this on?'

'I was actually thinking about being semi-permanent with this one…'

'What do you mean semi-permanent?'

'Well at least a couple of months, she's interesting…'

I rolled my eyes and told him I'd believe it when I saw it.

He suddenly did a fancy dance move and picked me up in a lift, spinning me through the air with a lot of ease and grace – not to mention he did it as if I weighed nothing. He slowly slipped me down to the ground as the music came to an end. When my feet were firmly placed on the ground I realised how near to him he had placed me and my breath caught a little. He got another strange look on his face and his eyes locked with mine, but it again disappeared as quickly as it came. He sank into a low bow, taking my hand and bringing his lips to it as he did so.

I felt an involuntary warmth run over me at his gentle treatment of me. It was so new and unexpected.

Yes being friends with Potter was certainly going to be a new and interesting development in my life, but the idea filled me with a feeling of calm that I've never really experience before in my life.

'Thank you for the dance.' I said smiling at him.

'No thank you Hope.' He said, his eyes meeting mine once again…


	9. Chapter 9

**Ahhhh two chapters in two days – I am really happy I managed to upload this today so you got a double hit this weekend **

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><p><strong>James POV<strong>

On the morning of the first quidditch match I woke early with only good feeling, my whole body pulsed with excitement and I had to get up as I was so jittery with anticipation for the day.

I wondered how Wood was doing, no doubt she's off being sick somewhere due to her nerves – in fact I wonder if she even slept last night? I highly doubted it. This week her nerves had really taken her to a new level. She was constantly the colour of ash, always looks as if she hasn't slept a wink and has even been distracted in class – which really isn't like her. I was starting to worry that she was getting so worked up she might not be able to play at all. I'd spent a lot of this week in her company, not to go through and quidditch plays or anything as we really didn't need it – our team was kick ass - no I'd spent time with her just trying to distract her.

It had been nice just hanging out with her, even if she did constantly look like she might throw up. The only dark cloud was when Michael was there because Hope was always just so much more reserved around him. When he isn't there she's just so much more bubbly and funny, I just can't believe I never realised how much fun she could be before. In fact she can be quite amazing actually – she is funny, talented, incredibly intelligent - she is after all the best in our year - and she is loyal, there is no doubt about that. She is the perfect friend to have.

Plus conversation with her is never dull. She loves to hear my take on growing up in my family, she's always happy to hear updates on how Teddy is doing in Auror training, she finds my dad's job really interesting…yep Wood is definitely shaping up to be a great friend for me.

If only Fred and I could come up with a way of making her less ridged when it comes to rules. She's taken thirty points off Gryffindor this week due to a prank Fred pulled and she's threatened me with detention on two different occasions, once because she caught me making out with Violet in broom cupboard during one of her prefect rounds Merlin that was awkward for everyone involved, and once because she caught me sneaking back in through the portrait hole past curfew. Not to mention she told me in no uncertain terms that Fred and I should forget whatever prank it is we have planned for after the match. She wouldn't even budge when Fred and I pleaded to her sense of team spirit, since the prank would be in honour of winning and therefore in honour of her wonderful leadership. She just rolled her eyes at us when we argued that and said that whatever we did we better not try and use her wonderful leadership skills as our excuse for doing it.

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><p>When I had dressed I considered waking Fred, but since it was still incredibly early and I figured it would probably better our chances if he was well rested. So I left him to sleep and headed down to the common room, unsure of what to do. When I entered I was unsurprised to see Wood already up, looking positively ghastly. She was so pale she could probably pass as another one of the ghosts.<p>

'Morning Co-Captain' I said brightly.

She looked up at me with terrified eyes and said, 'Don't, don't call me that. I don't deserve that name, I am awful captain. Oh Merlin, what was Professor Longbottom thinking putting me forward for this job? Oh Merlin, oh Merlin. James I'm just going to go up to Sprout's office and tell her right now I resign, that her and Neville have made a mistake and that you should be the sole captain.'

Merlin she must be nervous, not only did she never use Neville's first name and threatened Fred and I every time we did – as apparently in her opinion it didn't matter how close you were to the teacher, when on school grounds it was disrespectful to use their first names - but she would also never usually offer to give up anything for me. It just wasn't in Wood's character, she was competitive, not a quitter.

She stood up to leave and tried to make for the portrait hole but I grabbed her arm to stop her, leading her back to the sofa and making her sit. I plonked myself down next to her and for some reason I put my arm around her. I did it more to comfort and calm her but once it was there it felt so right that I couldn't pull it away.

'Look Wood, you are not going to resign ok? Neville and Professor Sprout were both completely right to give you captaincy of the team. You scored the most goals out of anyone last year, you always gave 110% at practise, you made every training session, you're totally supportive of other people and their feelings. Plus you're loyal and brave – two qualities you need in a leader. Throw in how good you are at school work and is it any bloody wonder they asked you? No, if anyone is going to resign it is me ok. I've always felt you were more deserving than me. I'm about to tell you something and if you tell anyone else I will deny every saying it ok?'

She looked at me a little bit teary eyed and nodded wordlessly to let me know she understood.

'You're a much better player than I am ok. You're better at tactics and movements, you're not as hot headed as me, and you always put the team above yourself. Honestly Wood, you don't need to worry. You're amazing, both on and off the pitch.'

I don't know why I did it, but I couldn't stop myself from stroking her hair slightly and leaning over to kiss her on the cheek.

This caused her to turn her head and assess me with those striking blue eyes she has. I actually felt my cheeks turn red under her gaze, which is really quite strange considering I don't usually blush under people's hard stares.

'Oh James' she said, forcing a bit of a smile on to her face and throwing her arms around my neck to bring me into a tight hug, 'You realise that is probably the nicest thing you have ever said to me?'

I felt really funny being this close to her. I don't think Wood and I have ever really shared a proper hug before, the closest we've probably come is that slow dance a few weeks ago. I guess we've always been too busy trying to hex each other to celebrate in such friendliness as hugging each other.

'Well I mean it.' I whispered in her ear.

She pulled away from me and I felt such a sudden rush of disappointment at the loss of physical contact that I felt quite caught off guard. I couldn't really work out why, perhaps the reason was due to the fact that since Hope and I have never really shared a hug before, I was a bit let down that it only lasted a short amount of time.

She looked at me again and asked in a timid voice, 'Aren't you nervous or scared at all Potter?'

I smiled to myself. Jeez would she ever lighten up and stop being so tense about things? Sometimes I wish I could help her stop being so worried about everything and encourage her to have fun instead.

'No of course not. I've got you on my side so why would I be? I can face anything when you've got my back.'

She shot me a smile and not one of her everyday usual smiles, but one of those utterly stunning ones she has for special occasions. The kind that just make her look utterly beautiful. She tends to only smile like that at Roxy, Ollie and her parents, although I have seen her sometimes shoot that look at Michael (not that I can really see why he deserves that smile) and our other friends. So to see it aimed at me gave me the most incredible feeling, I literally felt a warmth wash over me like I have never felt before.

'Thank you.' She said as she stood up but leaned over as she did so. She gently touched my right cheek with her hand as she kissed me on the left one.

'I'm going to go and get showered and dressed. Meet you and the rest of the team by the portrait hole to go down to breakfast?'

'Sure' I replied and she smiled at me again before heading off to her room.

When she had disappeared I let out a breath I'd been holding in and touched the spot on my cheek where she had touched me. Then I touched the spot on my cheek where she had kissed me, for some reason I could still feel tingles in my spine.

I guess being friends with Wood means I am going to be having these weird reactions from now on, just because the situation is new and not the natural course for us. There isn't any other reason why I am feeling like this, surely.

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><p>Wood and I walked down to breakfast with the rest of the team in tow, which consisted of Lily, Albus, Ollie, Fred and Louis. Just as we reached the doorway we were interrupted by a male voice shouting for Hope. We all turned around to see Michael rushing towards us with flowers in his hands.<p>

_Oh great, just what I wanted to see. _

'These are for you, to say good luck. Although you obviously don't need it, you're too amazing to need any.' He said as he handed the flowers to her.

I felt a rush of irritation when I noticed she was giving him that same smile she gave me earlier. Way to make me feel like that moment this morning was nothing special, I thought darkly.

'Oh Michael they're beautiful!' Hope exclaimed happily, before kissing him on the cheek affectionately, causing him to blush slightly.

_Oh come on_

Again kissing him on the cheek is the perfect way to say that this morning was nothing special. And what kind of sucky boyfriend gets embarrassed by such a PG rated display of affection. Merlin if I was Michael I'd want to make sure I marked my territory by kissing her senseless right here in the hallway in front of everyone. Not that I wanted to kiss Hope, obviously.

'How are you feeling? Still nervous?' he asked her as he took her hand.

'Oh well a little but not too much. James gave me a really lovely pep talk this morning, told me I was amazing and that kind of thing. It really helped to calm my nerves.'

Haha, take that Michael! I helped calm her nerves, not you and your stupid flowers – but me and my awesomeness!

Michael for his part looked a little put out by this and looked over at me before saying, 'Oh did you Potter…that was nice of you.'

What a petty jealous sod.

'Well it is sort of my job as Co-Captain to make sure Wood is up to her best.' I snapped back, before adding 'which means I should make sure she eats as well. No offense mate but maybe you should give her some space now.'

Everyone was looking at me but I didn't care. We had a match to win, we didn't have time to stand here pussy footing around with Wood's arse of a boyfriend.

'And what is that supposed to mean?' Michael asked in an offended tone.

I shrugged and said, 'It means my players have to eat before their match and you're stopping this from happening. Can't you piss off for a bit?'

'James!' Hope cut in with a warning tone, shooting me a look that seemed to say she wasn't really angry with me yet but if I didn't shut up she would be.

I mumbled a quiet apology that I didn't really mean.

'Sorry Michael but James is right, I should really be eating and focusing on the match ahead right now – can we catch up after?'

'Fine.' Michael muttered, clearly pissed off. He'd just turned around to storm off when he clearly thought better of it and came striding up to Wood, pulled her to him and kissed her firmly on the lips. For her part she clearly wasn't expecting it and didn't know how to respond.

When he let her go he shot me what looked like a triumphant smirk before turning and walking away without muttering so much as goodbye to anyone.

I really had to hold back from hexing his arse from her until next week as he marched away from us.

Lily broke the tense silence by clearing her throat and saying, 'Shall we have breakfast then?'

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><p>The atmosphere in the changing room before the match was better than I would have expected. Wood seemed to be alright, although not 100% thrilled, with my treatment of her boyfriend earlier. I wasn't sure if it was because she was ok with it and understood my motives, or because she'd gone back to looking that sickly colour of grey.<p>

'You ok Wood?' I asked.

'Oh Merlin, I don't know. I'll be ok when I am out there, I just need to be on my broom and in the air!'

I laughed and ruffled her hair a bit, telling her she'd be fine. She sent me a sceptical look but her lips twitched a little.

'So who is going to do the inspiring pre game speech then?' I asked, smirking. She shot me a look of pure fear which caused me to laugh quite wildly.

'Relax, I'll do it.' I said quite happily.

I clapped my hands together to get everyone's attention and shouted 'Listen up everyone!' when everyone's eyes were firmly fixed on me I carried on.

'You are the greatest quidditch team alive, I really mean that. I have no doubt we are going to breeze through today just so long as we remember all those tactical moves we've been working on. Aside from that I just want to say selfish playing will get us nowhere, play like the selfless team I know we are and we'll be unbeatable! Also just remember that Scorpius may well be a great guy but today he is totally the enemy. Al, I know he's your best mate but show him no mercy when chasing after the snitch! Trust me, Fred and I won't be showing him any soppy sentimental mentality when we're firing bludgers trying to knock him sideways off his broom! And guys – just have fun out there ok!'

Well I couldn't help feeling like my speech was rather good. It got a rousing cheer from everyone, but more importantly it got Wood to shoot me_ that_ smile again. And that more than anything gave me the confidence to walk out into the pouring rain and face my quidditch destiny.

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><p>It was over, I couldn't believe it. I couldn't bloody believe it. I mean I'd been pretty sure we'd win, but when we actually did I suddenly realised how nervous I must have really been without recognising it.<p>

Lily, Hope and Louis had been brilliant at scoring points and Albus had beaten Scorp to the snitch by a hairs breath. Scorpius had been amazingly good natured and sportsman like about the whole thing, he'd shook Albus' hand the second they'd landed and they patted each other's backs like boys do. Ah the two of them and their guy love…

Wood had been ecstatic when we won. She literally launched herself into my arms screaming with happiness. I'd merely laughed and twizzed her around screaming along with her. Pretty soon the two of us were just one whirling mess shouting, 'We won! We won! We won!'

When I finally put her down she took hold of both of my hands, jumped up and down and shouted 'We did it, we did it, we did it!'

When we were both out of breath due to our over dramatic celebration she fell forward and put her head into my chest, hugging me tightly. My throat went dry and a whole new wave of happiness washed over me that had nothing to do with the match.

When she pulled away from me I found my hands working without my permission. One hand held onto her arm tightly so she couldn't move to far away from me, whilst the other one reached out to touch her face softly.

'Wood.' I choked out, not really sure what I was doing or what I wanted to say.

She smiled at me but I could tell from her eyes that my behaviour was clearly confusing her. Well, she wasn't the only one feeling like that.

'Well done today, really you were awesome.'

I don't know why I said that, it was true of course but it wasn't what I was thinking, then again I didn't really know what I was thinking. But she smiled at me and her eyes had such genuine warmth to them that I couldn't really feel too bad about not being entirely truthful with her.

'You too James, I mean hone-'

She didn't get to finish her sentence as a hand reached out and yanked the two of us apart.

'What the hell do you think you are doing with my girlfriends Potter?'

I suddenly felt like I'd come back down to earth with a thud and the magical power that Hope had just placed over me was broken. I could see Roxy, Dom, Fred, Mia, Sky, Lily, Ollie and Brooke all standing a small way behind Hope watching the unfolding events.

'Nothing Michael, we were just congratulating each other on a job well done.' I answered coolly.

'Well it didn't look like that to me.' He shot back just as fast.

I was about to make another smart arse remake to try and wipe the arsey look of his face when Hope cut in, taking charge of the situation. She stepped forward, put a hand on Michael's arm and said, 'Honestly Michael, James and I were just celebrating our epic win. Do you think if I was going to start having a scandalous affair with Potter I'd start it right here on the quidditch pitch in front of everyone?'

She winked at him as she spoke and he relaxed instantly, pulling her close to him and nuzzling her.

'Oh Merlin sorry Hope I know you'd never do that. Plus you did once say there was nothing to get in the way of and I believe you. I don't know why I got so crazy.'

She smiled into his chest and muttered that it was fine.

He then looked on me and said, 'Sorry James, I didn't mean to go off on one at you.'

I let out a sigh and said it was alright, he then offered me his hand and I took it and shook it.

Although I said it was ok, it wasn't, not really. As I watched him rub a hand up and down Hope's back I couldn't hide from myself the fact that my heart contracted painfully in my chest.

'James are you coming to get changed? We've got a proper celebration to have in the common room. Who knows I may even let you and Fred pull that all important prank you've been working on after all.' Hope said, winking at me as she spoke.

I tried to smile at her and muttered that I'd be there in a few minutes. She smiled back at me and walked away with Michael.

This was impossible, there was absolutely no way I could fancy Wood. I mean she is hot and everything, especially when she smiles that smile or flashes me her annoyed eyes, but she is Wood…it must just be a side effect from all the drama of today….surely.


	10. Chapter 10

**Hi guys. Sorry it has taken a while to post this, work has been crazy! I'm also sorry it is quite short, I had a longer chapter but I thought it would be better split up. This chapter is a brilliant chapter for Hope and James and it gives you a taster of what you have all been waiting for – but what I've decided to split into the next chapter would have ruined your happiness I fear.**

**I'm sure some of you will be happy with this, but I feel like I should tell you not to get too carried away yet. Every chapter they get a bit closer to the epic moment when they finally get their act together, but they still have a while to go. But trust me, it will be worth the wait, and they're going to have some really cute stuff in the meantime. **

**Thank you always for you reviews, for adding my story to your favourites and for adding me to you update list – you have no idea how much it means to be so please keep doing it!**

**Anyway on with the story! **

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><p><strong>Hope's POV <strong>

The rest of the term seemed to slip away in a mixture of happiness and stress. I was having such a good year with my friends, especially since Potter and I had agreed to really stop the bickering. Things with Michael were still going really well except for some odd reason he was still felt threatened by Potter. Aside from that our quidditch practises had really taken on a new kind of force after our win, it just seemed as though it had pushed the team to want to become even better so we could carry on as we started.

My reception after we won the match had been fantastic. Michael kept bragging and telling people how awesome his girlfriend was, plus Professor Longbottom had organised a meeting with Potter and I just to gush over how well delivered the match had been and how impressed he was with the way Potter and I had committed to our captaincy responsibilities. I was really thrilled that we had done so well, more so for Professor Longbottom rather than anyone else, he had taken a real chance on us and I was really glad that we had managed to deliver and live up to the faith he had in us.

Mum and dad had sent Ollie and I the most wonderful letter after we had won. Dad just kept on banging on about how great his children were and how proud he was of us, although mum echoed this sentiment she said she was getting a little tired of dad going on about it. She wrote a really funny passage about how she literally had to force my dad to stay at home on the day of the match because he kept trying to find a reason to attend himself.

My parents also sent us some really lovely gifts to say well done. They bought my the complete works of George Orwell, which I had been banging on about for ages – I was so excited to share this with my granddad as he loved Orwell. They bought Ollie some very fancy sheet music, since he is incredibly musically gifted.

So my life after the match had been pretty fantastic, well except for the added pressure of school work and OWLS obviously.

'I just can't believe it is already nearly the end of term!' I muttered to Michael as I dragged him through the portrait hole with me. Usually I didn't bring Michael into my common room, it just didn't feel right for some reason. I know it made Michael uncomfortable to be around James and I knew James was hardly his biggest fan either, but there was an article in a muggles newspaper about a recently released novel that Michael would love.

When we entered I immediately noticed all the Potter's sitting on the floor in front of the fire with what looked like a mountain of products piled up at the side of them. There was also scissors, celotape and paper strewn all around them, which led me to think they must have been organising their gifts out now.

'Hope what do you think is a better present for a house elf – little knitted booties, a hat or a blanket?' Lily asked desperately.

I laughed at how confused all three of them looked.

'I think booties are too babyish – sorry Lils, but I have to vote hat.' James said.

'I think a blanket, we always give them a hat Jay, we want to surprise them this year!' Albus counter argued.

Suddenly Michael said, 'Why would you give them clothes, you realise that frees them right?'

I turned to stare at him, noticing as I did that all three of the Potter's were gaping at him open mouthed in shock.

'Well that is kind of the point….our house elves are free already.' James finally said, his eyes narrowing.

'Really and that is working out for you? No stealing or bad behaviour or anything?' Michael asked.

To be honest I could not believe Michael was asking this. He was pretty much just buying the false information on free house elves that had been plastered all over the Daily Prophet earlier this year, but Michael was usually so much more open minded.

'Of course they don't, that is just a filthy lie spread by those who want to carry on profiting from their continued enslavement!' Lily said quite emotionally.

Great now Lily looked like she might cry at Michael's comment and James looked as if he wanted to punch Michael.

Only Albus seemed to remain level headed and stayed calm enough to speak to Michael in a neutral voice saying, 'Ummm mate you do realise Hermione Granger-Weasley is our aunt right? She's basically been the ministry's lead on the abolition of house elf enslavement.'

Michael suddenly looked very sheepish and muttered of course before offering an apology. He explained that he didn't have a clue about house elves personally so he wasn't really aware what they were like. Albus and Lily accepted this and turned back to preparing their presents, James however shot me a look that seemed to say he expected better. He then went back to helping his siblings sort through their present pile and I ran off to get Michael the article.

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><p>Later on I was sat on the sofa in front of the fire in the common room reading my copy of <em>Emma<em> for what felt like the millionth time when I felt someone's eyes on me. I looked up and sure enough there was James hanging over the side of the sofa staring at me.

'Can we talk quickly?' he asked.

I smiled saying sure and I couldn't help laughing and rolling my eyes when rather than walking around and sitting down he decided to jump over the side of the sofa, crashing head long into me. I laughed and pushed his head away before asking him what he wanted.

'Oh nothing really, I just thought since it was the last day of term tomorrow and I know everyone will be preoccupied with the dance that I should probably speak to you now. I wanted to thank you I guess, you've been the best co-captain I could of asked for and more than that you've become a really great friend over the last couple of months.'

I was slightly taken aback by that I have to admit, I leaned over and pulled him into a tight hug, whispering into his ear and saying, 'James, you don't need to thank me. And please, you've been just as awesome. You're a really great guy when you allow yourself to be Mr James Sirius Potter.'

I pulled away and noticed he was blushing slightly. Well I never, Mr Too Cool for School James Potter blushing because of something I said!

We were interrupted from smiling at each other when Roxy joyfully exclaimed, 'Umm guys you do realise you're under the mistletoe right?'

'Ohhhh how splendid, you have to kiss now – it is tradition!' Lily exclaimed as she came up to us from her seat by the window.

Oh Merlin, this could not be happening. I shot a panicked look at James but was surprised to see he looked remarkably cool about this – perhaps even a little happy.

'Do we have too?' I begged Roxy.

She just shot me a wicked grin and then cleared her throat and took great delight in announcing this horrible situation to everyone in the common room. Everyone suddenly became fixated on James and I which just made me want to crawl into a hole somewhere to die of embarrassment.

Potter looked at me and muttered under his breath, 'What Wood am I not good enough to kiss? Am I totally repellent? It is just one small kiss and you're acting as if I am Voldemort himself or something. '

Damn perhaps my reaction had offended him.

'No James honestly that isn't it, you're very kissable – well I mean to say I bet other people think you are. Oh stop smirking at me you pompous arse!'

He just laughed and said, 'Oh kissable am I?'

I rolled my eyes and said, 'Oh please with the amount of girls you go through, not to mention the amount that pretty much throw themselves under the mistletoe when you are around, is it really a surprise to hear you might be the teeniest bit kissable?'

'Well many other girls have found me so, but I never would have guessed you would Woodsey!'

I shook my head but couldn't help grinning.

'Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss.' Fred started chanting from behind us.

'Go for it Potter!' some random third year shouted.

'Don't let him tongue rape you Hope.' Was Roxy's advice.

James pretended to take offense at that. Roxy merely rolled her eyes before adding, 'I've known you all my life – don't act like the thought never crossed your mind.'

He smiled wickedly at her before turning to me.

'Shall we give the people what they want Wood?'

I rolled my eyes and pretended to cringe as I said, 'Ok but I am only doing this for the people ok?'

'Oh how very selfless of you.' He said through laughter.

He stood up off the sofa before reaching for my hands to pull me up. When I was safely on my feet I looked up to meet his gaze and was shocked to come into contact with the most intense stare, one that I've never seen before. But his eyes were filled with such a tender feeling that I didn't know what to do, I was completely thrown off balance.

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><p><strong>James' POV <strong>

This was it, perhaps my only chance to ever kiss Wood. It had been a pretty genius plan even if I do say so myself, I had honestly wanted to thank her and then when I'd seen her, innocently sitting there under the Mistletoe, well how could I resist? I knew someone would notice, what with half my family dotted around the common room – they never bloody miss a thing I can tell you.

So here I was, staring into Wood's intoxicating blue eyes, aware that this could be the only chance I have of placing my lips on her beautiful skin.

I was really banking on this being enough to still all those racing thoughts and revealing dreams I've been having since the day of the quidditch match against Slytherin. I had hoped they'd calm down on their own, but if anything they seemed to have been growing stronger with every passing day.

Well here is my chance to make my mark and truly make these pent up urges count for something!

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><p><strong>Hope's POV<strong>

James ran his hands down my arms, gently placed his lips to my ear and whispered to me to relax. Fat chance of that, my heart was beating a million times faster than was healthy and the whole room was staring at us!

He pulled back to smile at me as he circled an arm around my waist so it rested at the small of my back. He placed his other hand on the side of my face and slowly leaned in.

When his lips touched mine I felt my eyes close of their own accord and my senses went haywire. I mean my skin was on fire where he touched me and a warm heat seemed to be surging through my whole body. I might even go so far as I to say that the world was spinning a little.

After a few seconds he pulled back, having been the perfect gentleman in regards to his tongue. Everyone who had been watching us out of excitement and interest in my predicament wolf whistled and a few people shouted some cat calls at us. I felt my face flush and my cheeks were clearly burning scarlet.

I found I couldn't quite look James in the eye.


	11. Chapter 11

**Hi guys!**

**After the excitement of the last chapter I'm not sure how happy you will be with this, but I actually kind of love it. I love when James and Hope are all hot and passionate, even when they are passionately arguing – because it is blatantly a sign of something more significant which will come!**

**To my lovely band of loyal reviews, I love you – please do not stop. I will keep writing for you guys as long as you're interested, probably even after ;) I love this story and I am so excited about where it still has to go!**

**SexiiLexi – You deserve to rejoice in the number of reviews I reach, after all you kicked started off my reviews for which I will be eternally grateful!**

**Vanillaberries – I'm glad you liked the build-up to the kiss, there will be a few more coming up before 'the big one' which I've had planned out in my head since about day 1 of writing this story!**

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**Sexichick – I totally thought of how excited you'd be that they finally kissed while I was writing the last chapter, so in a way I guess it is dedicated to you and you're constant hope that they would finally do so. **

**To everyone else, include all the people who've add this story to their favourites or had asked for notifications when it is updated, it means so much to me so thank you!**

**However you didn't come here to hear me rabbit on, so all that is left to say is Harry Potter sadly isn't mine and on with the story!**

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><p><strong>Hope's POV<strong>

By the next day Sky and Mia had heard all about the exchange, although everyone seemed to take it as an unspoken rule that Michael should not know.

I tried to argue with Mia during potions that this was just silly. It was mistletoe, it wasn't even a proper kiss.

'Oh come on Hope, you know Michael's jealous of James – especially of how close you guys have become recently. And we all know Jay is hardly his biggest fan either. It is just easier for everyone involved if you just tread lightly around the issue.'

I sighed, I guess she was right.

'I still don't get why Michael is so jealous of Potter. I've asked him and really he just says something stupid about how similar me and James are and how he sometimes worries he can't compete with that. I mean honestly how crazy is that…me and James, similar?'

Mia ran a hand through her short brown hair before shrugging and saying, 'Oh I don't know you and James do have a lot of interest in common. I mean you both love transfiguration and muggles studies, you're both obsessive quidditch nuts, you both love Fred, you both get a kick out of arguing with one another…'

I rolled my eyes at her logic. Yes James and I had those few things in common, but it wasn't much. We had far more differences than similarities and I said as much. I pointed out we have totally different work ethics, different approaches to life, apart from quidditch we really didn't even have any hobbies in common. I like to read, he likes to blow stuff up with Fred. Really we are just totally different people. But of course Mia had a come back to my argument!

'You're not different where it really matters though. You both love your family and take pride in where you come from, you're both loyal to a point where it is really just stupid, your both born leaders just in very different ways, you both enjoy teasing the people you care about and you both pretend to dislike the other a lot more than you really do.'

I tried to retort to that but she held her hand up to stop me.

'Look I'm not saying Michael is right to feel threatened, I mean you don't like James as more than a friend do you?'

I couldn't believe Mia had asked me that, how long has she known me! Seriously!

'No of course not, James and I…we're just friends, nothing more.'

'Ok, well Michael might be wrong to be jealous but it does stand to reason. I can see how you and James would make a sort of sense as a couple.'

'I suppose, but Michael and I do too.' I pointed out in a slightly defensive tone.

Mia just smiled at me and said, 'Yes of course you do, I know that Hope. And I know you really care about him.'

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><p><strong>James POV <strong>

'What do you think Mia and Hope have been whispering about for most of the lesson?'

Fred shot me a look which implied he'd strangled me if I asked that question once more.

'For Merlin's sake James I don't know. Just like I didn't know the time before when you asked me, or before that, or the time before that, or the time before that. I just don't know ok? If I magically work it out before the end of the lesson I will tell you ok? Now shut up and stop asking me before you annoy me so much I decide to hex you so your pecks become breasts.'

I laughed and shut up and tried desperately to focus on potions. I really did. But my eyes kept involuntarily moving to Wood's table. Merlin she was beautiful, how could I never have really seen it before?

It turns out that kissing her was not the way to get over her, in the past sixteen hours all that has happened is my need for her has just intensified by about a million times. It was becoming a bit of a problem.

I didn't know what I was going to do about this long term, but I think short term I was going to have to find Violet and let out some of this tension in an empty classroom.

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><p>This Yule Ball was not going great. Violet was pissed at me, she said I'd spent too much time paying attention to Wood, speaking to her, dancing with her, and just generally choosing to ignore Violet for her. I suppose Violet has a right to be pissed , it would be wrong of my to get angry at my date for being angry at me for spending too much time paying attention to someone else's date.<p>

She just looks so amazing though. Hope isn't much of a girly girl usually, so seeing her actually making an effort to look so is just mind blowing. She is stunning in her royal blue dress robes with her hair pulled up high in a clip, with little whisps of brown hair cascading across her face. And her blue eyes are just even more stunning and sparkling because the colour of her dress really emphasises them.

Not that she isn't always stunning, she could wear a bin bag and still somehow be beautiful.

Oh man what is happening to me? I'm becoming one of the stupid, sappy fools I usually loathe!

And to make matters worse she just seemed so bloody happy with Michael. And why wouldn't she be? They'd been together for nearly two months, they had intellectual conversations, he never teased her...he seemed to offer her everything I couldn't and I felt inferior next to him. She would never chose me, I wasn't good enough for her, of that I was sure.

I looked around for Fred to see if he was ready to leave, but when I finally spotted him I noticed he was dancing with Sky. Despite my current state I couldn't help smiling to myself for two reasons:

One -Sky looked so much like her endearing self that I'm amazed not everyone was a little in love with her in that moment. She had on multi-coloured dress robes and she wore daisies in her long blonde hair, the combination just made her look so open and friendly that I couldn't really understand why more people weren't flocking towards the warmth and kindness she was giving out.

Two – I felt a little better just by seeing how close Fred and Sky really were, could tonight finally be their night? I hoped so, some of us have to have a happy ending and be with the people we want to.

To be honest Fred deserves to be with Sky more than I deserve to be with Hope. After all Fred has had a thing for Sky for over two years now and I was also almost sure he was in love with her.

If there is one thing I am sure of it is that I am not in love with Hope. But yet I couldn't drown out the voice in the back of my head that seemed to echo the word _yet _at the end of that thought.

No that was it that thought was the last straw, I most certainly had to get out of here. I went to leave but when I reached the doorway I couldn't help scanning the room to see if I could see _her._ She was nowhere in sight and I wasn't sure if I was relieve or disappointed by that.

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><p><strong>Hopes POV<strong>

What a lovely evening. Michael had been the perfect gentleman and he'd even been pretty laid back about me dancing with James. Certainly more laid back about it than Potter's latest bit on the side. Plus it was amazing to see how close Sky and Fred were becoming. Seeing the two of them that close on the dance floor was perfect.

Michael walked me to the portrait hole to say goodnight. He was staying at the castle over the holidays, so this was really the last chance we had to see each other for the next couple of weeks. Therefore our goodbye was slightly longer, not to mention more heated, than usual.

Michael started by kissing me sweetly on the cheek and then slowly moved his lips along my jawline until he caught my lips with his and out tongues started the familiar dizzying dance I'd only ever experienced with him.

Suddenly my mind flicked back to last night and my small kiss with James and I couldn't help a small niggling thought about whether his tongue in my mouth would have had this effect on me too, but the thought quickly vanished as Michael deepened the kiss.

His hands had slowly slide around my body, one cupping the back of my neck so he could kiss me more easily, the other going to the small of my back to bring my body closer in line to his, before moving lower to cup my behind daringly.

When we pulled away for air he still didn't stop his assault on my skin. His lips moved to my collar bone and he placed light feathery kisses along it slowly.

My head was spinning and my body felt like it was on fire. Michael had never gone this far before, he was always the perfect gentleman. I'd never before thought I'd like it move past those sweet, timid, wet kisses we shared – but now we had I couldn't helping wondering why we'd been so reserved with each other up until this point.

I couldn't help the small moan that escaped me as his hand softly ran up my side and his thumb flickered ever so slightly to skim across the side of my breast.

My mouth sought out his once again and just I was pulling him closer towards me I felt Michael's whole body pulled away from me with such a force that he tripped a little and I stumbled forward, disorientated due to losing his body's support.

I looked up to see what the hell had just happened to be met by the sight of Potter holding Michael tightly by his collar.

'What the fuck Potter?' Michael shouted angrily, pushing Potter away so he could be released from the death grip he seemed to be trapped in,

'I could ask you the same thing, what the hell were you doing practically shagging in the hall way? I can tell you what I am doing, making sure Wood doesn't make a horrible mistake by _fucking you_ tonight that is what the_ fuck_ I am doing!'

'JAMES!' I shouted angrily, both embarrassed, confused and fuming at his outrageous behaviour.

'Please Wood, it is hardly appropriate behaviour for a prefect is it…no wait _two prefects_.' James spat back. He was angrier than I'd ever seen him before.

This was silly though, me and Michael practically shagging? Yes we were a bit heated and perhaps we shouldn't have let it get that far out here in the open, but seriously what planet did Potter live on? He did far more x-rated things with girls outside classrooms waiting for lessons to start. In fact I'd heard rumours that last year he'd done something far more sexually inappropriate to Lisa Speck in the middle of a bloody Divination lesson – I couldn't prove this though as I refused to take such a wishy washy subject.

'Get a grip Potter we were just kissing a little. Besides even if I was shagging her what is it to you? She is my girlfriend and not yours after all…and pray do tell, how the hell do you propose to keep her from fucking me if she wants too?'

James went really red at that and before I had really processed what was going on he'd charged at Michael, but Michael in return was ready and immediately rose to the challenge. Before long both boys were full on fighting, in the true muggles sense of the word, using their fists and legs to cause harm to the other.

I was shouting at them both to stop when something blasted the two of them apart. I turned to see Professor Longbottom standing there with his wand out, with a look of mingled disbelief, disappointment and fury.

'May I ask what exactly is going on here?' he bellowed.

This was certainly a new side to Neville, usually he is just so jolly and light – but tonight I could see just how much power he could really yield if he needed too.

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><p><strong>James' POV<strong>

Well this night has certainly sucked. The plan for the evening had been to have a laugh and crack some jokes with my friends, especially Fred, to get laid by Violet, cleverly undermine Michael in front of Wood and be ever so charming to her – that way ensuring she slowly started to fall for me instead of him.

In reality I spent most of my evening scowling and Hope and Michael, Violet didn't shag me – in fact I think she dumped me, and I certainly didn't undermine Michael. No I started a fight with him instead, then had to sit there and listen to a half an hour 'talking too' from Neville, and to top it all he took 50 points from Gryffindor and made me feel terrible by saying he'd never been so disappointed in any student.

Oh and now it appears Wood isn't talking to me. She got that look on her face and seems to be deliberately keeping a distance between us. Just as we reached the portrait hole however it appeared silence was no longer good enough for her. just as the Fat Lady was asking for the password, she turned to glare and me and demanded to know exactly what I had been think by attacking her boyfriend.

'Me, what the hell was I thinking? What about you – going at it in the hallway for all to see? You're a prefect Wood you shouldn't be acting like that...I mean do you really want to be one of those girls with a reputation?' I asked bitterly, biting my tongue to keep from confessing that I didn't want to think of her doing anything with any other man that wasn't me.

She shot me her best I wish you'd die look and said darkly, 'What a reputation like all those girls you sleep with?'

What was that supposed to mean?

'There is no reason to bring my personal life into this, I was looking out for you. Jeez next time maybe I won't bother!'

'Oh Merlin for goodness sake, you can be all up in my personal life but I can't bring yours into it? Double standards don't you think? Especially when you shag about a million girls all over the place – and I can't even kiss my boyfriend without you literally butting in!'

'Please Wood you're twisting everything around!' I said, half angrily but also half pleadingly. I needed her to understand that I really was trying to help her.

'No I really don't think I am. Oh and you're damn right next time don't bother trying to help me. I can live with your kind of help thank you, it isn't wanted, asked for, or appreciated. Especially not when you act like the way you did tonight!' She snapped at me.

Then she turned on her heel, muttered the password and stormed into the common room.

I dived in after her calling her name, wanting to fix whatever had gone wrong. Only it turned out everyone we both knew in Gryffindor house was waiting up for us, worried about why both of us were missing.

'Where the hell have you two been? We were starting to get really worried.' Roxanne snapped.

However her initial anger seemed to fade when she saw the look of pure fury on Wood's face. Roxy then seemed to catch on.

She turned to face me before saying, 'What the HELL have you done now James?'

'Nothing.' I said defensively.

'He bloody assaulted my boyfriend for kissing me goodnight, that's what the prick has done!' Wood burst out.

'Oh please, just kissing you goodnight? He was copping a proper feel at the same time! For Merlin's sake Hope you were two steps away from doing something you'd regret with him!'

'I would have thought you'd be happy about my sexual development Potter. What was it you said when I caught you and Edith on the train on the first day of term? Oh yeah, what would I know about shagging, then something about how I needed to get a boyfriend and loosen up – and how if I shagged someone once in a while maybe that would happen and then I'd get of your case?' she spat back at me, although I noticed she was starting to look slightly teary.

Oh man I was not sure I could see her cry and not touch her, hug her, kiss her….I had to make this better, I had too.

'You said that to her?' Fred asked staring at me angrily.

'You told my sister to shag someone so she'd leave you alone?' Ollie asked, looking at me as if I'd just pulled the rug out from under his world. I suppose I had, after all he really looks up to me, but the he is stupidly close and protective of Hope.

'Well yeah I did, but I didn't mean it. And Wood and I had worked past it, well I thought we had.' I said feebly.

Hope just looked at me and shook her head sadly before saying, 'Yeah I often think we've worked past a lot of things, but then here we are again. I can't believe how you acted tonight James. It isn't ok, you know that right? You can't just beat people up….and I expect you to apologise to Michael. If you want us to be friends you will remember in the future to stay out of my personal business and under no circumstance act so violently in front of me again. Really James, I thought such behaviour was beneath you. Every time I think I've got a handle on you and I start to believe you're this really deep, sensitive, caring guy…you just turn around and find a way to throw it back in my face.'

A strange look past over her face and her eyes stared into mine and in that instant I knew I wanted her to know me, all of me. I wanted her to understand why I am the way I am – I wanted her to want to see what was beneath my exterior. And I wanted to see beneath hers, I wanted to know why she put up so many defences, why someone so loving could also be so guarded…I just wanted us both to understand the other and to finally work out the root cause of our disagreements.

'I'm sorry.' I blurted the words out before I'd even considered what was coming out of my mouth.

She nodded and said, 'I believe you. Just start acting like the person I think I see in you.'

With that she turned and headed to her room and I realised there were quite a few angry eyes staring at me.

Oh great, the holidays are already off to a brilliant start, half my family are pissed off with me and the other half will be when they hear about tonight's events from the others tomorrow.

I couldn't help feeling a little resentful towards their judgemental attitudes as I thought that Christmas will be a fun event this year.


	12. Chapter 12

**Hi all!**

**Once again that you all for my lovely reviews, for adding this story to your favourites list or for following my updates!**

**This chapter is pretty short, so I am sorry. But I wanted to spend some time looking at what was going on in James' head, so it is less action packed than the previous chapters so hence its shortness. The next few chapters will be longer with some exciting action though!**

**As always Harry Potter is not mine **

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><p><strong>James' POV<strong>

The Christmas holiday was far from perfect. Fred and Roxy were both really pissed at me for what I'd said to Wood at the start of the year, as was Lily. She'd been so angry she had told our mum all about it, who in turn had told dad – and to top it all Neville had told both my parents about my fight with Michael. This had led to my parents sitting me down to have a stern word with me about other people's feelings and how I should be trying hard to make sure I was respecting them. It turns out my mum sides with the rest of my family on the whole we love Wood front.

Teddy had also been informed about what had happened and now he was constantly trying to act as a mentor with me. He'd also got pretty close to the truth behind my actions too. I mean he pretty much asked me outright if I was in love with Wood – which obviously I'm not, I'm just lusting after her. I didn't tell him this obviously, I just scoffed at him and asked him if he'd gone mental. He looked at me with a very sceptical look but dropped the subject.

If I thought Christmas was bad it was nothing compared to when term started again. While quidditch practice would usually be the perfect escape from this kind of trouble it was now adding to it, as most of the team were angry at me also. Roxy was pretty much avoiding speaking to me, Fred was incredibly icy with me – he'd definitely never been this angry with me before – and Ollie now seemed to detest me as much as he used to love me.

Wood was still speaking to me, although she didn't seem overly thrilled with me. We seemed to have gone one step forward a million steps back in terms of our relationship this year.

This was particularly difficult for me, because in those few months we'd been friends I'd realised how bloody amazing she was. Something about her, I'm not sure what, had taken hold of my sense s and was refusing to let go. I mean it, her presence in my life and whatever it was I was really feeling for her had taken over and I no longer really felt like myself. This was very disconcerting as I missed how my old life used to be - when she was nothing more than the girl I teased and who wound me up – but even more significantly I had started to realise how much I really missed _her._

I apologised to Michael in the hope that something would alter and things would start to go back to how they used to be. But so far that hadn't really worked out, it just meant her boyfriend had one more thing over me, since he didn't have to say sorry to anyone.

His presence was really starting to grate on me as well. I mean who does he think he is? Strutting around like the king of the castle, constantly holding hands with Wood – being able to touch and kiss her whenever he wants, and shooting me arsey smirks whenever he does so. It's almost as if he's trying to torment me because she is his and not mine.

Merlin this whole thing is just screwed up. I never wanted to be serious with anyone before, I usually love the chase and then finally getting a girl in the sack and spending a couple of weeks screwing around until one of us gets bored, but with Wood….that isn't what I'd want. When I think about her it isn't about some quick fling, I don't just want a number of random meetings in empty classrooms…I want to hold her hand, I want to hear about her day, to listen to her go on for hours about books, I want to be able to take her out properly, I want to hold her when she cried and calm her down when she has one of her many freak outs about work….I want her. In fact I'd be more than happy to exchange all the shags with different girls I could have if it meant I could just hold her hand and bicker with her about quidditch

Well at least there are three people at school who aren't treating me like the evilest person on the planet.

Sky, who is too nice to hate anyone seems to have actually taken pity on me instead. She's spent a lot of time recently asking me if I am ok, patting my hand and offering me a friendly ear if I ever want to talk to someone. I think this continuous warmth from Sky is helping to slowly break down the barrier between Fred and I.

Mia just finds the whole thing hilarious and can't see why everyone is so upset. Mia and I are very similar in many ways, so I think she understands where my anger came from.

The other person still on friendly terms with me is Dominique. She made it very clear to me that she did not agree with what I did, but she also said she wouldn't hold it against me.

When I questioned why she replied, 'Because you're in love with Hope and when people are in love they act like crazy people.'

I scoffed at that and tried to tell her she was wrong, just like Teddy was, there was absolutely no way I was in love with Wood – but she wouldn't hear of it. In fact she said I may think that now, but soon I'd realise how crazy in love with her I am. She claimed I was in the denial stage, but she also said she could already see that slowly breaking down.

Dom and Teddy really are mental, there is absolutely no way I am in love with Wood – that just isn't possible….right?


	13. Chapter 13

**Hi guys, I hope you like this chapter – it is one of my favourites so far.**

**Thank you once again to everyone who has reviewed, you guys rock and you make me excited to upload each chapter – because hearing what you have to say after is just more amazing than I can express.**

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**Now on with the story, sadly Harry Potter is not mine.**

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><p><strong>Hope's POV<strong>

February came on faster than I would have liked since with every month that passed I became more aware of how close examinations were.

I was out of sorts as well because of the frostiness between James and everyone else in our group. Since our fight just before the Christmas holidays my relationship with Potter had stepped back to a sort of crisp formality and I was sadly unsure if we could ever get back to our old comradeship.

Plus things with Michael seemed to suddenly be heading in a very serious and intense direction. We'd now been together for nearly three months so I guess it was only natural, but for some reason the idea of some deep intense relationship with Michael still scared me a little.

For the Valentine 's Day Hogsmeade weekend he organised a special surprise for me, so I'd arranged to meet him at the entrance. The morning itself started off pretty badly, as I came down from my room to find Ollie and James fighting in the common room.

If someone had told me just three months ago that Ol would seem to detest Potter as much as I used too I would never have believed them – but since he had heard about the fight James and I had at the start of term he seems to dislike him with a passion.

'I just want to ask her about quidditch practise.'

'I've said stay away from her you big perv.'

'Seriously Ol get over yourself ok, I'm not about to set some big burley man on her to give her a good shag, I just want a quick word.'

'That isn't funny arsehole, why don't you shove off and stop drooling all over her. She's got Michael now, a good guy, she doesn't need losers like you hanging off her. You missed your shot Potter.'

I have to hand it to Ollie, he can totally hold his own when he's upset or angry. James looked like he was having an inner war over whether he should hit Ollie or not, so I thought perhaps I'd better cut in.

'Ol, that's enough. Thanks for looking out for me but I can handle this. James, you have five minutes,'

Ollie looked at me and clearly decided there was no point in arguing with me. He turned to leave and muttered something to James under his breath, I assume it was some sort of well-placed threat, then he sulked out the rom leaving me alone with Potter.

James looked at me but didn't speak. Really this pissed me off, I did not have the time to just stand here.

'Are you planning on speaking sometime today Potter or do I have to guess what you're thinking?' I snapped a little harshly.

'I'm sorry but being this close to you, not to mention alone with you, for the first time since Christmas has kind of thrown me and I've forgotten what it is I need to say.'

That almost melted my iciness a little, but I reminded myself that it was his actions and not mine that had caused this rift.

'Well remember quickly please I've got to meet Michael.'

That dark look James gets every time Michael's name is mentioned crossed across his features and he asked, 'Oh still dating him are you?'

Really how petty could he get? And he knew perfectly well I was still seeing Michael. Right now I wouldn't put it past him to pretend he needed to speak to me only to make me late to meet Michael – which James knew full well would annoy him and spark his jealousy.

'Yes I am.' I replied coolly, and couldn't resist adding, 'In fact we're getting pretty serious.'

James suddenly looked horrified and asked, 'What does that mean?'

'What do you think it means Potter?' I questioned back smirking at him as I did so.

He stepped forward and grabbed hold of my arm, his grip was both firm enough to hold me in place but soft enough to ensure he did not harm me in anyway. He had also placed a very blank look across his face, as if he didn't want his emotions to be conveyed.

He asked again in a very strained voice, 'No really Wood what does that mean? Please tell me you haven't slept with him?'

I pulled away and he let go of my arm, allowing me to step back slightly and stare at him.

'Not that it is any of your business but no, we haven't slept together.' I said coolly, uncomfortable with how intense this conversation had become.

He nodded to show he understood and asked tentatively, 'Why not?'

I shrugged and answered honestly, 'I would only ever sleep with someone I loved and someone who loves me, and not just silly girl love, but someone I know I could really trust to be that intimate with…it would be a huge step for me.'

He looked into my eyes, a pained expression crossing over his features, and it seemed to take all his strength to ask the next question.

'And do you love him?'

That really threw me, mainly because no one had asked me that before and I had never seriously thought about it. Did I love Michael? He was nice, intelligent, funny and we had a lot in common…there was no doubt that I cared deeply for him…and I did feel comfortable with him. But of course that could be said about other guys in my life, including Fred and James. I wasn't really sure, so that is exactly what I told James.

My answer seemed to relieve him somewhat, although it was obvious that whatever was bothering him was still there.

'Wood will you promise me something?' he asked pleadingly.

The way things have been with us recently I was tempted to say there was no way in hell I'd promise him anything, but the way he was looking at me – with pure raw emotion and trust in his eyes as he looked at me, well I couldn't be bitter at him in that instant. Somehow this conversation had managed to intertwine our lives again. So I nodded to show I agreed.

'Just don't sleep with Michael unless you are absolutely sure you want to and you are dead sure you are in love with him ok?'

I looked at him, trying to work out if he was seriously saying this, but there was no way he was kidding about this,

'Ummm ok.' I said, a little uneasy with speaking about something so personal with a boy I was on less than friendly terms with twenty minutes ago. How did he do that? How did he manage to get under my skin and make me fall for his charm so easily every time?

He nodded again before pulling me into a very unexpected hug and whispering something about killing Michael if he touched me before I was ready. He then abruptly let me go, said he couldn't remember what he wanted me for and left the room quickly.

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><p>All day I was wondering just what the hell was going on with that boy. One minute we're screaming at each other, then he's telling me to sleep with loads of people, then he's beating up my boyfriend, then he's begging me not to sleep with someone before I am completely ready. His emotions are like a constant rollercoaster ride, and I'm never sure where I stand with him. One thing was clear to me from our encounter this morning though – I missed him, pure and simple. I hadn't really registered how much until he was there, pleading with me to be sure. And although it seemed strange to believe it given our history of bickering and fighting, it was pretty clear on some level he cared about me too.<p>

I felt bad for obsessing so much over my encounter with James though, as Michael had organised the most amazing Valentine's Day excursion for us.

First we went on a picnic, but it had the added twist of all the food being based on food from my favourite books, so there was a range of strange items including marmalade sandwiches from _Paddington_ and raspberry cordial from _Anne of Green Gables_. I was really impressed with the amount of thought and effort that had gone into this.

He also bought me a copy of _Catch22, _which I had never read but he loved.

After the picnic we went for a walk and once again as we window shopped I couldn't stop my mind wandering back to this morning's conversation with James. Part of me was disappointed our hug had been so short, probably because I'd missed being close to him over the last month and half – there surely couldn't be any other reason? But then my mind did keep conjuring up the feeling of safety and calmness that washed over me whenever he put his arms around me, it just felt…well right. My life felt better and brighter when he was in it.

I guess it was probably time to let him off the hook, everyone had been treating him pretty poorly since Christmas, and I felt bad for that. I knew he hadn't meant to hurt anyone, especially not his family or me, plus my anger had burnt out and now I just missed my friend.

Then I couldn't help questioning why it mattered so much to him if I slept with Michael? And why did he care if I loved Michael? Because it clearly did, his expression seemed to indicate that all of his happiness relied on my answer.

I was so caught up in thinking about James and all the enigmas his presence in my life caused that I didn't even realise that Michael was talking to me until he gave me a gentle nudge to get my attention. I quickly snapped out of my daze and apologised for ignoring him.

He smiled before taking my hands and saying in a really serious voice, 'Hope you are amazing. I love how you go off into your own world, I love the passion you have for books and quidditch, I envy how close you are to your family and I really respect how loyal you are to all your friend, even the likes of Potter. I guess what I mean to say is I love you Hope, for so many reasons.'

On Merlin, HOLY FREAKING MERLIN!

I didn't know what to say to that, I had no idea at all. My mind flashed back to Potter asking me if I loved Michael or not. I could hardly lie to him, that wouldn't be fair, but on the other hand I could hardly say I didn't know if I loved him or not!

I thought maybe I did but I wasn't 100% sure and I couldn't say it unless I knew with total conviction that it was true.

Michael seemed to see my inner struggle and took my hands with his before saying, 'Honestly Hope I don't expect you to say it back yet. It has only been three months and I didn't mean to spring it on you like that, but I couldn't help it. You are just so lovable.'

I smiled and kissed him, when we broke apart he smiled at me too, before giving me a little nudge to get me walking again.

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><p>On the way back to the castle we ascended onto a large group of people surrounding a group of people I couldn't make out, but they all seemed to be in some kind of fight. Michael suggested we just left everyone too it, but my prefect responsibilities called to me and I felt a sense of duty to try and make order out of the madness. I pushed a couple of people out of the way in an attempt to get to the centre.<p>

I was busy trying to get the attention of the mob who were clearly enjoying the violence (they were mainly Slytherin's, I guess old habits die hard and all that – you get the good eggs, like Scorp, and then you still get the die hard, pure blood, brutish types) when I felt a panicked arm pull me back.

I was so ready to snap at Michael for pulling me away that I think my mouth actually hung open when I twirled around and found myself face to face with three terrified looking second years. Lily, Louis and Hugo to be exact. I didn't have to ask them what was going on though because Lily got straight to the point.

'It is Ollie getting attacked in there!' she cried desperately.

No, there was no way that could be true. Ollie was one of the mildest people you could ever meet, there was no way he would go looking for a fight – he tended to avoid confrontation at all costs.

I didn't have time to dispute the issue with her because out of nowhere both James and Michael seemed to materialise. Michael stayed quiet but James instantly seemed to take control of the situation.

'What happened Lils?' he asked calmly.

She looked at him with pure fear in her eyes, but he just smiled reassuringly at her and took her hand, squeezing it lightly to show her it was alright. She took a shuddering breath and launched into the story.

'Some seventh year Slytherin's, four I think, had me cornered against that wall, one had hold of my arm, while another tried to get his hands down my top while the other two were trying to curse Hugo and Louis so they couldn't help me, since they were with me. Ollie walked into the whole thing and stunned one of them and disarmed another – then he told us to get help. James it all happened so fast, we couldn't reach him to help once the crowd started gathering.'

James pulled his sister into a tight hug and whispered a few comforting words into her ear. When he released her he said they'd done the right thing. He then ordered Hugo and Louis to take Lily back to the castle and get as many teachers as possible – he also told them to send any of their family this way if they ran into them. The three of them nodded and then headed off towards the castle.

When they had gone James turned to me with a serious look on his face and said, 'Wood I am going to try and get those bastards off Ol, I need you to cover me with your wand though ok? At least until help gets here. This is really important ok?'

I nodded but I could feel my hands shaking. I didn't even realise I was crying until James reached out and wiped a few tears away.

'It will be ok, I promise you. Just trust me ok? I won't let you down.'

I nodded and he offered me a half smile before running off into the crowd with me trailing behind him, wondering what the hell James was going to do exactly.

It turns out he was going to do pretty much what he had done to Michael the night he found us together outside Gryffindor Tower – tackle them.

When he reached the entrance of the fight James pretty much tackled all three boys still standing at once, and it seemed to work somewhat. The element of surprise certainly knocked them a bit, and I was relieved to see Ollie, who was covered in blood but still standing, move away from the group whilst the boys attacking him were distracted by James.

In the meantime James had managed to get in a few well aimed punches, but he seemed to have forgotten completely that he had a wand and the power of magic.

One of the Slytherin boys James was aiming his fists at aimed his wand at him in response and I only just managed to disarm him in time. Just then there was an uproar from the crowd and before I had a chance to process what had happened about five more Slytherin's were in the circle – but James had also been joined by Fred, Albus and Scorpius. The fact that one of their own was now standing against them seemed to throw the Slytherin's a bit.

I kept my place on the side lines trying to shield the boys as best as I could from harm by shooting hexes, disarming spells and stunning people.

Unfortunately for James I just missed a particularly large Slytherin who was obviously very angry that James had just broken his wand. He charged at James and punched him so hard in the face that James was knocked off balance, he fell backwards and hit his head on the wall and was knocked out cold. The horrible brute then took a few well aimed kicks James' way .Everyone else was so distracted that this seemed to go unnoticed.

Before I could really process why I was doing it I had stepped away from my safety zone and jumped onto the guys back, whilst I repeatedly shoved my wand anywhere I could as I recited a very handy hex that makes your enemy's skin burn wherever your wand touches it. Sometimes being a Defence Against the Dark Arts geek pays off.

But my adrenaline quickly wore off and I realised I'd just stepped directly into the fight. Somehow that didn't sit well with the prefect in me and I couldn't imagine Potter would be very happy with me putting myself at risk, even to save him.

I jumped down off the guys back, ducked under his arm as he aimed a punch at me, and threw a body binding curse over my shoulder. I grabbed Ollie who was still standing there on the side lines bleeding quite badly and I pulled him over to James. I then cast a shielding spell around the three of us.

I was really worried about James, but I had to make sure Ol was ok first. He had lost quite a lot of blood and he looked quite ill – but he kept insisting he was ok and I should see to James. He protested so much to my fussing that in the end all I could really do was cast a spell to try and stop the bleeding – or at least slow it somewhat.

I then turned my attention to James. I really didn't know how bad he was. I knelt next to him and tried waking him by saying his name – but no response came. I stroked his badly bruised cheek and felt my tears coming. No Hope, not now I tried to tell myself, but it didn't help. The tears came and I couldn't help whispering, 'James please, I need you.'

Slowly his eyes fluttered open and he tried to speak, but it was obvious that it was hard for him to get his words out. I put a finger to my lips to show him he didn't have to talk, before I gently lifted his head up off the hard ground, trying my best not to jar him or cause him too much pain, and I placed it as gently as I could into my lap.

I stroked my hands gently through his fringe removing it from covering his eyes, carefully not to touch the fresh bruises and cuts on his face.

I could feel the tears pricking my eyes but I would not give in to a fresh lot. Help would be here soon and then the madness would stop, then James and Ollie could go to the hospital wing and get better again.

They were going to be fine, they had to be – I cared about them both too much for them not to be.


	14. Chapter 14

**Hi everyone.**

**This chapter is pretty long and at some points pretty intense, so I hope you really like it!**

**I'm sorry for any typos, please excuse them and enjoy the story!**

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><p><strong>Hope's POV<strong>

When the professors finally showed up both Ollie and James were in pretty bad shape. All I really wanted to do was go with them both to the hospital wing, but Professor Sprout insisted in speaking to all those involved in the incident who didn't need urgent medical attention. Even if you were only a witness to the event you had to give your testimony before you were allowed out of the professors sight.

I was really worried, I didn't want Ollie to be on his own under the circumstances. Professor Longbottom agreed, but he insisted the right thing to do was call my parents and the Potter's so they could come and be with their children. He was particularly insistent on bringing the Potter's in, as Lily was understandably quite shaken and he didn't want her to have to explain the events again without their support.

I sat on a bench outside Sprout's office on a bench that had been transfigured out of a rug and I struggled to contain my racing thoughts. On my right hand side was Fred. He was looking straight ahead and a very dark look clouded his usually joyful face and a look like that just didn't seem right on his features. On my left hand side was Michael, he held my hand tightly but he did not try speaking to me. I think he realised I wanted to be alone with my thoughts, and I was grateful for that.

Finally after what seemed like hours Headmistress Sprout came out of her office and smiled weakly at me before saying, 'Miss Wood, Professor Longbottom and I are ready to hear your account of the events this afternoon.'

I got up from my seat, let go of Michael's hand a muttered a goodbye to him and Fred, before following the headmistress back into her office.

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><p>After what felt like hours of heart-wrenching replaying of what I'd seen, what my brother had looked like when I came upon the fight, what I'd done when I saw Potter go down, how I'd casted a protection shield over Ollie, James and I, Neville and Sprout were both satisfied that there was nothing more I could share with them.<p>

'You've shown tremendous courage Miss Wood. Both in your actions during the events today and then replaying them again now. I am going to award you 30 points to your house, I will also be awarding your brother 50. It was very selfless of him to come to the defence of his friends when he saw what was happening.' Said Professor Sprout kindly.

I couldn't really help from blurting out 'What about James? He's not in trouble is he?'

Professor Sprout and Professor Longbottom both shared a significant knowing look with each other before Neville answered by saying, 'No James won't be in any trouble. He also acted with a great amount of courage whilst at the same time showing incredible restraint against those who made such significant threats against his sister.'

I smiled and stood up, Professor Sprout then handed me a note giving me special permission to go see Ollie and James. Without that there was no way on earth Madame Pomfrey would allow me to enter the hospital wing. Once it was clear Ollie was ok she hadn't even allowed mum and dad to stay past visiting hours, although she had said they could return in the morning and she had allowed the Potter's to stay.

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><p>When I reached the hospital wing I had a battle on my hands, even with my special permission slips from the Headmistress, as Madame Pomfrey was having none of it. I was forced to stand outside arguing it out with her.<p>

In the end I had to resort to tell tailing, saying if she wouldn't allow me to enter I'd have to report her to Professor Longbottom. The broken down her outer shell a little and my case became stronger when Harry Potter came to my defence. He and Ginny were leaving for the evening, Lily being asleep in Gryffindor Tower and James being snuggly tucked up in the hospital wing with Madame Pomfrey guarding the room like a hawk.

When Harry saw the battle of stubborn wills between the two of us he came rushing to my aid by saying, 'Oh come on let her in. Hope isn't some rowdy child who is going to make any trouble. She's one of the sweetest, intelligent and well behaved pupils in the school. Plus she is a prefect and has a note from the Headmistress and the head of her house. And her little brother and co-captain are in there…she hasn't seen them at all since she got back, at least let her see they are ok. Besides if you don't let her in I may need to hex her so you're forced to take her in.'

Madame Pomfrey was clearly breaking under the gentle nudging of Harry, so I decided to act on that and plead my case again.

'Please Madame Pomfrey. You know how much I love Ol and James is one of my best friends, can't I just go in for five minutes? Please, I'll even clean up the hospital wing for you one day next week! Please, please let me in to see them.'

Suddenly a voice from within the room came through the slightly ajar door.

'Let her in Madame P, you know she's so stubborn she won't leave and I'll hardly be able to rest if the two of you spend all night out there arguing will I? And I'd like to see Hope, I can't have her worrying I'm dead all night can I? That will just make me feel like a bit of a prat. Oh and I'll help Wood clean next week if you let her in Madame P, you can count on that.'

I couldn't help the smile of relief and genuine pleasure at hearing James' voice.

By this point Madame Pomfrey looked positively flustered as she said, 'Oh for heaven's sake. Harry Potter there will be no need to hex poor innocent girls just so they can be admitted to the hospital. Well I really just never heard such silly suggestions…and of course you and Mr Potter will not have to clean next week Miss Wood, so long as you don't argue that is. If you argue I'll have you both on cleaning duty every day until the end of term. For mercies sake, I remember the days you both had to come in to be treated because one of you set the other's bag on fire or something silly like that. Now look at you, begging me to let you see each other, never did I think I'd see the day…never in my wildest dreams.'

I noticed Harry and Ginny shared a very knowing smirk with each other at Madame Pomfrey's words. I wondered briefly what that could be about, but I was too keen to see Ollie and James to care.

I flung my arms around Madame Pomfrey and said thank you about a million times. She laughed as she unwound herself from my embrace and she opened the door before muttering, 'Go on then.'

I was about to go in when I remembered Harry and Ginny. I asked Madame Pomfrey to give me a minute with them. She smiled at me and told me to just come in when I was ready, before walking through the door and closing it gentle behind her to give us some privacy.

I turned to face them and explained I wanted to say thank you to them. They both looked rather puzzled by that and asked me what for.

I shrugged and said, 'For helping convince Pomfrey to let me in, for not hating Ollie for James getting hurt, for raising a son selfless enough to jump in and save someone else without a second thought for his own safety.'

Ginny actually laughed at that and smiled broadly at me as she replied.

'Oh Hope honestly. Of course we wouldn't hate Ollie, he saved Lily! If you want to talk about selfless just look at his actions, I think it is your parents who should be proud – you and Ollie are probably two of the most caring and loyal children I've ever met. But thank you, what James did today was very brave and we are very proud of him. He was very selfless.'

I smiled weakly and added 'He's…well he's becoming a great man Mrs Potter. It is sometimes hard to see, but I know deep down he is. He'll do great thing with his life and I truly believe he'll really make a difference to some people's lives one day.'

Ginny gave me a very knowing and intense look as she spoke again.

'I know that and I also know he's become a lot closer to becoming that great man he's destined to be throughout this year, and I've no doubt to the cause of that…you're very important to him I think, maybe more important than you both realise. I owe you a big thank you really, because if my son is turning into a better man it is partly down to you and the influence you have over him I'm sure.'

I didn't really know how to respond to that, but thankfully Ginny switched back to normal conversation as if nothing had happened.

'Any way do you plan keeping Ollie and James waiting all night? I'd go in and see them quickly if I were you, or Pomfrey may change her mind!'

I laughed and said goodbye to them both, before opening the door and striding in.

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><p>When I walked in the first thing I noticed was James' face – my eyes were just automatically drawn to him. He didn't look great, he was pale and he had bruises down the side of his face.<p>

I desperately wanted to go over and see if he was ok, but I was also desperate to see Ollie. I think James could sense my inner turmoil as he smiled weakly at me and said, 'Go see Ollie, I'll be here when you've finished…I promise, I'm not going anywhere.'

I smiled at him and tried to hold back my tears. I took a deep breath and when I was sure I wasn't going to cry I managed to choke out that he better still be there when I came back, then I strode over to Ollie's bed on the other side of the ward.

When I reached him he was sleeping , so I sat down on the chair next to his, took his hand and then whispered softly, 'Hey little brother I'm here. Sorry it took so long but I'm here now and I'm going to wait right here until you wake up.'

I squeezed his hand lightly and took a proper look at him. He looked so small lying the hospital bed, he was also the colour of ash and he just did not look right. If I hadn't been assured by a number of people I would have been really worried he wouldn't make it looking at him.

Seeing my brother lying there in that bed, looking so helpless wasn't right and it made me angry. Very angry. That people could act like this and hurt the people I care about the most was a real shock to me. It certainly had an effect on me that I had never experienced before.

I must have been sitting there holding Ollie's for an hour at least before his eyes fluttered open.

'Hope' he said as he saw me sitting there, a small smile crossed over his face.

'Oh Ollie' I said happily relieved to finally see him awake, 'How are you feeling? Are you ok? I was so worried about you…you idiot! Next you decide to play hero maybe don't try taking on four boys five years old then you single handily!'

He chuckled and rolled his eyes at me before saying, 'Technically I stunned one of them so there were only three of them when the fighting started.'

I laughed shaking my head lightly, glad to see the incident hadn't harmed Ol too much.

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><p>After half an hour or so of banter between Ollie and I he started to look really drained, so I kissed him on the cheek and said I'd see him tomorrow.<p>

I then went over to where James was. He looked like he was sleeping as I crept closer, but he turned to smile at me as I approached. I stood at the foot of his unsure of what to do or what to say.

'James' I managed to croak out as my eyes filled with moister and I tried to fight back the emotions that were crashing over me because of the day's events.

He opened his arms up inviting me in for a hug and I quickly walked around his bed, throwing my arms around him and squeezing him to me tightly. He winced a little and I remembered his injuries, I released him slightly.

'Sorry' I mumbled into his hair and then I realised I was sorry, for everything, and that was when the tears really started falling.

I didn't want to cry all over him, he'd already been through enough today and the last thing he needed was me suffering an emotional breakdown all over him. I pulled back and tried to subtly dry my eyes, whilst muttering another apology. I was so ashamed and embarrassed over how emotional I was being.

James however had a different reaction then me. He pulled my hands away from my face and gently wiped the tears off my face with his thumbs, creasing my cheeks a little as he did so. This kindness however just caused me to cry harder. He pulled me back into his embrace allowing my face to fall into his chest as he stroked my hair whispering comforting words to me. He even kissed my head a couple of times.

When I finally calmed down I pulled away and looked at him. An intense urge to reach out and touch his spread over me, but I held back. Instead I moved to the chair by his bed but he didn't let me go completely, the second I was seated he reached out and took my hand smiling at me broadly.

'How are you feeling?' I blurted out.

Urgh great going Hope. He nearly dies saving your brother, you have this big tearful episode all over him and then the first thing you ask him is if how he's feeling? As if it isn't perfectly obvious how he's feeling after having a stupid brute kicking the hell out of him. James however did not seem to find the question stupid.

'Oh you know I'm alright, it hurts a bit but it isn't anything that is going to kill me. Are you ok? I was really worried they had hurt you Wood…'

'No I'm fine, they never touched me.' I answered wanting to put his mind at ease.

'Why the hell did you put yourself at risk like that Hope…they could have killed you! I'm just not sure what I'd do if you were harmed. I don't think I could carry on living if you'd been really hurt.' He replied.

I took a breath as I felt the tears building up behind my eyes again.

'Well you don't have to worry I'm ok, honestly James I am fine. And of course I got involved, I couldn't let you get hurt like that. James when I saw him knock you out, it was like I stopped breathing. You're not the only one here who doesn't know what they would do if the other got seriously hurt ok. I'd be devastated if anything happened to you.' I said.

I was silent for a moment before I whispered, 'You really scared me today ok. I was terrified you might be dead or something…'

He squeezed me hand and whispered back saying he was sorry. Which made me smile and I told him it was fine so long as he never did it again, making him laugh.

'In all seriousness though James thank you for what you did, for Ollie. You were really brave and I'll always be grateful for it.'

He just stroked my knuckles gently and smiled at me, causing my body to tingle all over, before replying.

'Don't mention it. I couldn't ever look you in the eyes again if I'd just stood back and done nothing to help Ol, especially after what he did for Lily. And thank you too, for you know, saving my life and all that. You're amazing Hope Wood you know that? Intelligent, passionate, selfless, loyal, beautiful, brave….the list of the amazing qualities you have just keeps getting longer and longer.'

The intensity of his words was a bit too much for me and I had to look away.

'Are we friends again?' he asked tentatively.

I laughed. What a genuine idiot he could be, him even feeling like he had to even ask that showed how silly he could be sometimes.

'Of course we are James! I never really stopped being your friend. It is just sometimes you annoy me so much that I just want to shake you in frustration!'

He laughed and enquired why it was he annoyed me so much.

I simply shrugged and said, 'Because you spend so much time putting on this act of the James you think everyone wants you to be, rather than just being the James you actually are. It is what has always annoyed me about you…I just don't get it. I mean James, you are so loving and loyal and selfless in character, but then you try and put on this bad boy I don't care about anyone show. But I know that isn't you, look at how protective you are of Lily and Albus, look at how you've always got Ollie's back and you always make time for him, look at how close you are to Fred…and you really are so smart, your grades are nearly as good as mine – but you seem to be determined to waste away all that talent. And then when you let someone get close to you, I mean the real you, you will try pushing them away. I swear you'd rather have vacuous relationships with girls you don't care about than have a meaningful relationship…'

He opened his mouth to protest, but before he had a chance to I cut him off.

'No you do James. And you push away those outsiders you think might genuinely care for you, I mean every time we've become close over the years you've turned around and followed it up with being a jerk. Really you are better than that. Why do you pretend so hard to be one James, when everyone loves you for the other one, the real one?'

He looked at me steadily for a moment and I was worried he'd ignore my question, or worse ask me to leave. I wasn't sure I could stand it if he did. Not when we'd come this far, not when I'd been so open as to why I'd always tried to keep a distance from him.

But he surprised me by answering honestly, 'I'm just scared of not living up to everyone's standards and the legacy and everything that comes all along with that. You don't know what it is like Hope, being the son of Harry Potter. Scratch that, the oldest son of Harry Potter. I love my family you know that, but sometimes I wish I'd been born into a less well known group of people.'

I squeezed his hand. I wasn't sure what to say, but luckily he carried on speaking before I had to think of something.

'And then having the middle name Sirius that is also a lot to live up too. There was a man who didn't give up on life even after twelve years being locked up for something he didn't do. I know it is stupid, but at least acting like a prick doesn't mean I have to worry about letting anyone down. Especially when it comes to love…'

He shot me a strange look and I raised an eyebrow at him and prompted him to explain what he meant by that.

'Well you know my parents fell in love stupidly young, so did most of my family, and everyone always comments about how perfect a pair mum and dad are…I guess I always figured by playing the field and guarding my heart I wouldn't ever have to worry about not living up to that or hurting a girl I cared about.'

'Or having a girl you care about hurt you?' I guessed.

'Yeah exactly. Half the female population would only be with me for my family connections. I guess I always had a bleak and sceptical look on love due to that too.'

'I understand what you are saying, I do James honestly, but can you please stop pretending with me? Just promise me you'll be you from now on, because I miss you dreadfully when the James I care about is taken over by that stuck up version of you.'

He laughed and looked into my eyes before saying in all seriousness, 'I promise you Hope I will only ever be me with you. I feel like I'm more myself with you than with anyone now anyway, you've chipped away at all my pretences and I have no choice but just to be me in your company.'

My mouth went dry and my heart beat wildly. The way he was looking at me, no one had ever looked at me like that before. Even Michael, CRAP MICHAEL, I had to look away, I had to break the spell or else I was going to let James Potter kiss me and that wouldn't be right. It would be as the result of an overly emotional day and the intense conversation, and tomorrow I would have to face the fact that I had hurt both James and Michael by allowing it to happen.

I couldn't look away though and at some point James' hand had come up to cup my face. He was slowly caressing my cheek and I swear my heart was about to beat right out of my chest.

Thank Merlin at that moment Madame Pomfrey came over and said, 'Miss Wood I trust you have had long enough now? I'm afraid I really must ask you to leave as Mr Potter needs his sleep.'

I jumped up glad that the spell had broken. James looked pleadingly at Madame Pomfrey though and said, 'Please can't she stay until I drop off? I swear she's not disturbing me, her presences actually makes me feel loads better.'

She looked between us clearly torn.

'Oh alright, but only for you Mr Potter!' she said smiling at him and then wandering off again.

I turned around and said, 'James I'm really tired. I should go.'

'None sense' he replied as he scooted up in the bed, 'no need for you to leave you can lay down here. I don't mind sharing with you.'

I looked at him unable to believe he was really suggesting I snuggled up with him in bed. Had he totally forgotten I had a boyfriend? He seemed to sense my unease and he laughed before speaking to me again.

'I swear I won't touch you inappropriately in anyway. I mean we should share this bed in a strictly platonic way like you would with Roxy.'

'James I'm not too sure it is a good idea…' I said, although I could feel my resolve falling.

'Please' he asked pleadingly, 'I just really don't want to be alone tonight.'

I knew I couldn't argue with him, I could try but ultimately I would end up stay so I should probably admit defeat now. I slipped my shoes off and climbed into the bed and ruffled the pillow to get myself comfortable, before turning to face him.

This close to him I could see his profile so clearly and I was struck suddenly with the realisation that he was one of the most handsome men I had ever seen. He looked like a movie star.

To break the tension I ended up blurting out, 'So I have my career meeting with Professor Longbottom tomorrow.'

He smiled before saying, 'And pray do tell me what are you thinking of becoming when you grow up?'

'I think I'd like to work in international conflict relations. You know, helping to find a peaceful resolution to the uprising in Europe and things like that.'

His eyes shot up a little at that. I expected them to a little to be honest. I'd never mentioned my future goals to anyone and everyone just seemed to assume I would want to go into teaching or something.

'I'd never have guessed, but it makes sense I guess. You're always looking to resolve fighting and keep the peace – but it is really dangerous Wood. How do your parents feel about this? Or your boyfriend?'

'No one else knows….you're the first person I've mentioned it too.'

A funny look crossed over his face before he said, 'I am honoured then. Thank you for trusting me like that…I bet you want to do a transfer muggles year though as part of your further training don't you?'

'Yes I do. I've always wanted to do a full muggles year, how did you know that?'

'Please Wood' he said smiling, 'you totally love the muggles world and you're always top of the class in muggles studies. Of course you want to do a muggle year!'

Well he certainly knew me pretty well. Well two can play that game.

'Oh just like you want to be an auror with medical training?'

He looked shocked now.

'How did you know that? Especially the fact I wanted to do an auror medical course split after school?' I always tell people I want to play professional quidditch!'

'I guess I just know the real James pretty well.' I said as I stifled a yawn.

He chuckled and took my hand, squeezing it slightly and whispering 'I guess you do.'

He then leaned over and kissed my cheek sweetly and then whispered, 'Why don't you get some sleep Hope, you're clearly tired and it has been a long day.'

'Ummm ok' I mumbled sleepily, before sighing contently and snuggling further in towards him in the bed.

'Sweet dreams Hope Katherine Wood.'

'G'night James Sirius Potter.' I mumbled back before succumbing to the most blissful nights sleep.


	15. Chapter 15

**Hi guys, sorry I haven't posted in a while – life has been crazy busy!**

**As always thank you to everyone who has added this to their favourites list, or has added it for updates – you guys rock!**

**And as ever a HUGE thank you to everyone who has reviewed this story, you have no idea how happy it makes me **

**I'm not 100% happy with this chapter, I think I'm suffering getting back into the character's mind sets after so long….but I'll let you up your own minds! **

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><p><strong>James' POV<strong>

I woke up the morning after the fight in the hospital wing, with a thumping head and some freshly grown bones. I couldn't stop the smile spreading over my face when I caught sight of girl sleeping next to me though, her face was mere inches from mine with her hair spread out over the pillow and a small smile on her lips. She looked absolutely beautiful and it worth the pain just for this moment.

It was now virtually impossible to deny I loved her, because in that moment I knew beyond a doubt that I did. When I saw her crying last night I knew I'd do anything to try and stop her from ever having to do so again, just like I hadn't thought twice about my own safety when saving Ollie – all I'd thought about was the prospect that Hope might have to live with losing her brother. And now seeing her sleeping there so peacefully, I just knew, I felt something for her that I'd never felt for anyone before in my life – and I never wanted to stop feeling this way.

The only problem was how I was going to deal with it. I couldn't very well tell her….she had Michael and he made her happy – I couldn't deny that – and I wanted her to be happy. More than anything that was what I wanted, so I didn't want to do anything that might change that for her, even if it meant struggling with my feelings.

Hope suddenly shifted in her sleep and stretched her arm out over my torso and I felt my sense go haywire. I had to remind myself that it would hardly be right to wake her up and take her right there in the hospital wing bed, especially since I'd just agreed to keep my feelings to myself for her sake…

The best thing for me to do is to be her friend, maybe by being there and being the kind of guy she wanted me to be – the kind of guy she sees in me – I'll eventually have a shot with her. But right now I need to take what I can get, and right now that is her friendship.

I slowly reached out and tucked a stray pieces of her hair behind her ear, I tried to be as gentle as I could so not to wake her but it didn't seem to make any difference as her eyes slowly opened.

When she caught sight of me she smiled before saying, 'Hey you, how are you feeling this morning?'

Merlin I loved that smile, so sweet and sexy and innocent. Heck I loved this girl – if only every morning could be like this, waking up would be a hell of a lot better I can tell you!

'I'm fine. Glad you are here though….thanks for staying with me last night, I'm not sure how I would have coped on my own.'

She shook her head a little before replying, 'Of course, it was the least I could do. Although I am sure you would have coped fine without me.'

'Yeah probably…but still, thank you.'

'I should probably get to breakfast, classes start in 30 minutes, I can take note for you if you like…drop them by later?' she said stretching as she removed herself from the bed.

I felt a pang of disappointment that she had moved away, and my skin where her arm had been casually draped across my body was screaming at the loss of contact.

'Yeah sure, that would be great.'

'No worries…listen James, about last night…I know nothing actually happened, but I'd still prefer it if you didn't shout about this – I mean I'm not sure Michael would be 100% happy with it, and Merlin knows I feel guilty about being here with you all night…I just don't want anyone to make this more complicated than it is by saying it is more than it was.'

My heart sank a little at her words, although I knew full well before she said them that they were coming. But that still didn't stop me from asking the next question, although I knew before asking that my heart would not thank me for doing so.

'And what was this?'

She looked a bit unsure when I asked that, but reluctantly answered by saying, 'It was two friends, just comforting each other in a time of need? Purely platonic right…?'

'Of course Hope, just friends looking out for each other. And don't worry, I won't go spreading this around…and I wouldn't blame Michael for being a bit jealous if he heard.'

Hope seemed to look a little disappointed by my words, as if she was hoping I would contradict her and say I was wildly in love with her – which of course I am – so I couldn't be totally sure that wasn't just wishful thinking on my part.

'Thanks Jay' she said as she leaned in for a hug, 'I'll see you later ok. I want you to stay here and rest – no funny business alright?'

'Yes my lady' I joked as she pulled away

She leaned in once more to give me a quick peck on the cheek, before she turned to leave.

When she closed the door behind her I flopped back down onto my bed, groaning as I did so. Man this was bad, and now there was nothing to distract me all I could think about was how much I wanted her, how much I loved her.

I wasn't sure when it had happened, there was no eureka moment that screamed out 'this right here is when you fell in love with her.' it all just seemed to have happened naturally, through a million different moments with her - and all those moments had just been making my feelings more prominent until I just couldn't hide from it anymore….

Urgh, I wish Ollie would wake up – at least if he was asking me a million questions I'd be distracted from thinking about his sister…

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><p>The weeks following that morning in the hospital were very up and down. I took every chance I could to be with Hope, whether that was hanging out with our joint friends, at quidditch practise and at our strategy meetings, or studying, and the time I spent with her was definitely my favourite time of day. I just couldn't get enough of her and I couldn't help wondering why I'd fought against it for so long.<p>

The only downside was Michael was often there as well and there was no doubt that the two of them were clearly getting serious. They'd be caught by various members of the group getting pretty grabby on a number of occasions – we all knew they hadn't gone too far, but at the same time I knew deep down that if things didn't change soon then that would soon be different.

I often found myself wondering if she remembered the conversation we'd had the morning of the fight, and if she'd honour her promise not to sleep with Michael until she loved him and she was sure…

The idea of them intimate and together like that cut me like nothing else ever had. I loved her enough to want her to be happy and I knew Michael made her happy, but still the idea that she would let him touch her in a way she may never let me…and the thought that he'd be the first person she'd allow to do so, it made me want to steal her away and lock her up somewhere out of harms way where he could never get near her again.

My worst fears were confirmed the night before our quidditch match which against Ravenclaw. We finished practise earlier than perhaps we normally would do on a Friday night so the team could get a good nights sleep. Hope and I had no worries about the next match, we were both aware that our team stood out leaps and bounds – the only other team that rivalled us was the Hufflepuff team, something Michael and Hope teased each other about constantly.

On the way back to the changing rooms Hope had asked if she could speak to me after everyone had left and I agreed readily – excited at the prospect of a few minutes alone with her. I couldn't help my mind jumping to wild fantasies of her admitting her incontrollable love for me, but in reality I expected it would be something regarding the following days match.

How I wish it would have been.

When everyone had left I turned my attention to Hope, she was sitting on one of the benches picking at her nails, and she looked a lot more nervous than I've seen her be in the last month or so.

I immediately sat down next to her, took her hands and asked in what I hope was a friendly and calm voice, 'Hope what's wrong? What is it you wanted to talk about?'

'Ummm, well it is nothing really. Well nothing major, I should probably have this conversation with Roxy or something instead of you, but you're just as much a best friend to me now as she is…and since you asked me about it before…and since our relationship is a little different, I guess I wanted o tell you first – and I wanted your help, or your opinion or something I guess….'

I had no idea what she was mumbling about, but whatever it was was clearly making her jumpy. She kept fidgeting on her seat and she couldn't look me in the eye.

'Hope what is it? You know you can tell me anything right…anything?'

She let out a sigh and then she finally looked at me, her eyes blazing and unflinching.

'I'm going to tell Michael that I love him. I've been with him for five months now…and he told me over a month ago that he loved me…it isn't right to keep him waiting like this…'

Whoa, where had half of that come from?

'Michael told you he loved you – when?'

'Valentine's day not long before we came upon the fight...He said it and I couldn't say it back…I don't know if you remember but you asked me in the morning if I loved him and I said I wasn't sure? Well I couldn't tell him I loved him when he sprung it on me like that either…so he said it and I didn't.'

I couldn't believe I was hearing this. Of course I remember her saying she wasn't sure….but she still didn't sound totally convinced now.

'Hope…are you sure you want to do that? Tell him you love him I mean?'

'What is that supposed to mean?' she said, a little defensively.

'Well you still don't seem very sure…you seem more like you want to say it because you feel you should rather than you do?' I said tentatively, unsure of how she would take it.

'That is…well it is just wrong, anyway what would you know about it? Last time I checked you were hardly the expert on love? What with all your swanning about with a million different girls every day!' she spat back at me.

Well that proved I was right to be weary of upsetting her. But her anger only helped to ignite my own, especially since she had no right to poke the finger at my love life, I hadn't been with a girl since I realised I loved her.

'Well I know that in everything you've just said you have yet to say the actual line I love Michael, and if you didn't want my advice why did you ask for it? Why bring this up with me…why not with Roxy, or Mia, or Sky? What is it about me that made you want to tell me in the first place? And for the record I haven't been with a girl since January!'

She stood up then, clearly aggravated.

'I LOVE MICHAEL! There you happy! And I told you because I thought, Merlin I don't know what I thought, but I felt like you out of everyone should know.' she stated rather angrily.

I stood up to so I was facing her, my heart thumping wildly as I said as calmly as I could, 'Liar.'

'What?' she spluttered.

'I said liar, you don't love him…and you told me because you know I wouldn't let you go through with it because of that reason.'

'Oh this is stupid, I love him. Deal with it. Besides like you'd know the first thing about someone in love.' She argued back.

'Liar. You're just afraid of being alone.' I said.

This time I really seemed to touch a nerve as she stepped forward and pushed me hard in the chest, her beautiful eyes narrowing and her lovely lips forming a scowl.

'I do love him and I would have thought you knew me better than to think I'd tell someone I love them just because I am scared of being alone! Michael makes me happy, so what if he isn't the perfect prince I imagined growing up he's still an amazing guy, and if you can't be happy for me then why don't you piss right off. I'm going to tell him I love him whether you like it or not so it is just tough.'

And with that she turned to leave the changing room, but before she could even take a step away from me my hand reached out without any authority from me, as if it had a mind of its own, and turned her back towards me. Before I could really register what was going on and before I could consider the consequences my head had come crashing down so my lips could claim hers in a kiss.

And all that inner tension suddenly seemed to come out in a few brief minutes. I felt like all the passion and unspoken words I tried to keep in and hide were suddenly just pouring out from me into her. At first she didn't respond, I think she was too shocked too….but when I out my arms around her waist to bring her in closer then she kissed me back, for about three seconds until I whispered her name in a fit of lustful tension. She suddenly seemed to snap back into character and realise what was happening, and she pushed me away as hard as she could.

I stumbled backwards a bit before I found my balance again. When I looked back up she was starting at me, I tried to read her facial expression but I couldn't really tell what she was feeling – she had a look I've never seen before plastered across her face. And before I could get a word out she turned and practically ran out of the changing room.

'Shit' I said when she had gone.

That was certainly not what I was thinking our first kiss should be like…


	16. Chapter 16

**Hi guys, sorry it has taken me so long to get this up. I hope you all find it a bit of Christmas treat!**

**There are two warnings I should give you all before you read this chapter:**

**It is pretty racy, it fits with the M rating.**

**You all may be unhappy with some of the characters behaviour in both this chapter and the one coming up**

**Thank you once again for all the brilliant reviews and for following my story, you guys keep me writing!**

**I hope I get to upload another chapter before Christmas, but just in case Happy Christmas too!**

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><p><strong>Hope's POV<strong>

I ran and ran and ran until I couldn't run anymore and I had to stop to breath and collect my thoughts. I stumbled a bit as I stopped and clutched my knees as I tried desperately to catch my breath and ignore the queasy feeling taking over me. When I felt like I could stand up straight I realised I was in the corridor leading to the library. It was as if my subconscious knew that I needed somewhere quiet and calming where James would never follow me in order to process what had just happened.

I entered the library and walked straight over to my favourite spot by the window furthest from the door, which blocked me off from most of the room – which meant I usually always got privacy. Usually I wanted the privacy in order to focus on work, but right now all I cared about was clearing my head in peace.

When I reached the desk I slumped into a chair and buried my head in my arms, raising my head after a couple of minutes to check my watch. Great it was 7.45pm and I supposed to be meeting Michael in 15 minutes.

What the hell was I going to do? Should I tell him about James kissing me? Oh Merlin this was bad….why the hell had James kissed me? Was he just trying to mess with my head? Had this whole year and our friendship just been a game to mess with me…I doubted it, I mean James Potter was a lot of things – annoying, self-absorbed, cocky. But mean and cruel were never among his traits.

But then why had he kissed me? I doubted he it was due to any real feelings of longing or attraction to me – I mean I'm just plain old boring Hope. No one was really interested in me except Michael and I still found it hard to believe he loved me. So there was no way James 'I can get any girl I want in the school' Potter would look twice at me. And if he did it was only because I was one of the few girls in the school he couldn't get…perhaps that was it, perhaps he thought he liked me purely because I was more of a challenge. Although that didn't seem too likely either.

It was probably more of a spare of the moment thing. After all we had been arguing and it had been more of 'heat of the moment' type thing. Yes that was it, just a silly mistake in the heat of the moment.

I felt terrible about letting it happen though – I have a boyfriend what the hell is wrong with me? And I can't believe I started kissing him back! I don't know what would have happened if I hadn't come to my senses when he whispered my name.

I looked at my watch again. Great I had 5 minutes until I met Michael and I still didn't know what I as going to say or what to do. Was it worth telling him and hurting him for a stupid kiss that happened in the heat of the moment and was clearly a mistake? The idea of telling him made me feel sick with fear and the idea of not telling him made me feel sick with guilt – great! I can't believe an hour ago I was nervously thinking about telling him I loved him, now I was considering telling him I'd kissed someone else. As much as I wished I could deny it, it was clear that I had started kissing James back and I couldn't hide it from myself.

I took a deep breath, stood up and made my way out of the safety of the library – I figured whatever happened when I saw Michael happened and I'd take it from there. This decision however did not go any way towards calming down my thumping heart, or stopping the bile from rising up in my throat.

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><p>I met Michael outside of the Great Hall, he smiled widely as I approached and that made me feel even worse than I already did. So by the time I had reached him and he had opened his arms out to me and kissed me hello I felt like the worst person on the planet.<p>

He seemed to sense there was something wrong almost straight away and gave me a curious look and asked if I was ok. I smiled at him as best as I could before I replied by saying I felt a bit funny.

He looked at me with real concern in his eyes and said, 'If you don't feel very well we don't have to hang out tonight, I won't hold it against you I promise.'

He smiled at me as he gently tucked some hair behind my ear. Suddenly I had a flashback to James doing exactly that a few weeks earlier when we were in the hospital together. That memory only made me feel worse, so I grabbed Michael's hand and headed for the main door.

I could tell he was still a bit unsure about whether he should follow me, so I spoke over my shoulder.

'I'll be fine honestly, I just need some air.'

Outside we walked for a long time in silence. Michael gently held my hand and lightly rubbed my knuckles occasionally. Again this reminded me of James – why had I let all of these small things happen? And why had I let him kiss me….I felt like the worst person in the world at that moment.

I couldn't stop the feelings of guilt that were cursing through me and Michael seemed to sense my discomfort. When we reached the lake he turned to look at me and once again asked if I was alright. I tried to shrug it off and said I was alright but he kept pushing the issue.

'Hope please tell me what is wrong…do you feel ill? Or is it something more? You seem somewhere else entirely tonight – I mean more so than usual. Please let me know what is on your mind…is it me? Did I do something wrong?'

He looked at me with such worry, concern and confusion that my heart nearly broke. I loved him, I was almost sure of that – but still, still something in the back of my mind there was a niggling doubt…a doubt that James had only helped to make louder by his outburst at the suggestion I might love Michael.

'No it's not you Michael, it's just…it's just…just…' I really wasn't sure how to carry on.

Michael had stepped forward and gently placed his hands on either side of my face. 'What?' he urged lightly.

I don't know why I did what I did next, I guess all the guilt and confusion became too much for me. But whatever the reason was I stepped forward closing g the small distance between us. And muttered 'it's this' and pulled him to the most passionate kiss we'd ever had. Michael was rather shocked to say the least, but he quickly responded pulling me as close as he possibly could.

When we broke apart for air Michael put his forehead against mine and whispered huskily 'Hope we have to cool it or things could so too far…'

I can't explain my actions, even to myself, all I know is I wanted desperately to wash the memory of James' kiss away by throwing myself at Michael. I grabbed his hands and pulled him down next to me under the tree behind us. He looked at me quizzically, clearly disturbed by my behaviour.

'Michael…' I said quietly

'Yes?' he responded

'Kiss me'

And he did, he kissed me and I kissed him back as passionately as I could. Before long I felt the need to be closer to him, to feel more of his skin and the next thing I knew I was pushing him back, climbing into his lap so I could straddle him.

'Hope' he said huskily, but clearly concerned. He was pulling away from my insistent kisses, 'Hope what has brought this on? I'm not complaining, but you are never thus forward and it isn't like you…'

'Well maybe I'm sick of always being the good innocent girl – can't we just explore each other for a little bit?'

He looked me in the eye and clearly saw how determined I was because the next minute he was kissing me again and I was slipping my head up his shirt, feeling his quidditch muscles. Michael groaned and put his hands on my hips. I could feel clearly through his trousers the kind of effect I was having on him – and when he gently ground his hips into me a little, holding my hips steady as he did so – the whole thing caused me to let out a gasp of air. I wasn't really expecting to experience this kind of small sensation , then again I hadn't planned on experience anything.

I gently found one of his hands with my own and pulled it up, guiding it too my breast. I was acting wild and I knew it, this wasn't the way to solve the problem of the kiss, but in that moment all I cared about was having Michael somehow kiss the pain and confusion away.

For his part Michael seemed to relish this invitation of intimacy and gently squeezed my left breast through my shirt, causing me to buck a little into him. He took this as a positive sign and he began to slowly circle the area around my nipple, before gently kneading the area. I squirmed and he groaned as he removed his hand from my left breast and started working on my right one. He also leant forward and gently started kissing the sensitive area between my shoulder and my throat.

Soon I started to feel like this was not enough and once again my hand covered his, gently leading it to the small gap at the top of my shirt, as I quickly undid the top two buttons giving him access to my bra clasped breast. His hand immediately went to work, pushing my bra away to get better access. Even in my emotional state I have to admit that this feeling was amazing. I pulled him into a passionate kiss and when we broke apart he carried on trailing kisses along my neck , as I allowed my head to fall back to give him better access.

'What the HELL. Hope get the bloody hell off of him!'

I jumped and turned to see Fred staring at us, he looked too shocked to move. Michael and I clearly had a deer caught in the headlights look on our faces. I shot up, pulling my shirt across to try and keep my modesty; I turned around to fasten my buttons turning scarlet as I did so.

Michael looked at Fred, clearly unsure of what to say. Unlike James Michael had always got on quite well with Fred, but I think he quite rightly guessed that no matter how much Fred liked him, he was not opposed to kicking the arse of someone who thought of getting anything more than PG with a girl he saw as another sister.

I turned around, aware that I had to try and face the music head on.

'Fred…' I said, trying to work out what to say next.

'Don't say anything Hope. It is fine honestly…I mean what girl wouldn't be getting naked with her boyfriend in the open on a Friday night when anyone would be walking by….it is getting close to curfew we'd better get back to the castle.'

I didn't know what to say, I was so ashamed. So I merely fell into step beside Fred and Michael.

When we reached the castle Michael quickly went his separate way, muttering a lousy goodbye and then practically running off as fast as he could. I was kind of pissed off at him to be honest, he had done nothing to try and make the situation better. He hadn't even attempted to talk to Fred.

Speaking of Fred he hadn't said a word to me since he'd said we should go back to the castle.

'Are you going to speak to me?' I asked quietly as we reached the common room.

He looked at me then, but quickly looked down.

'Look Hope, it is fine. I mean not fine, after all you are the last person in the world I think would be getting naked with their boyfriend outside, but I know you like Michael a lot, and you are not stupid about boys like other girls…it is just, I worry about you. I don't want to see you get hurt.'

His kind words surprised me a little if I am honest, it had not been what I had been expecting.

'Thank you, for being kind of ok about all of this Fred…'

'No need to thank me. I know you are sensible where boys are concerned. And I know you won't rush into something you are not ready for – but I still worry about you ok? You're like my family and I'd hate to see you get hurt, so please just be careful ok? I know I don't have to worry about you in the same way I worry about Roxy, and unlike Brooke or Mia I know you're not the kind of girl to sleep around or make mistakes with boys – but still I worry.'

I smiled at him, nearly crying due to his words – especially because I knew his faith in my clear headedness when it comes to boys was untrue. I think my actions throughout all of tonight shows that I am the queen of making bad decisions where boys are concerned. I hugged him and said goodnight before he headed up to his room.

Along in the common room I sank into the sofa shaking, I felt dirty and cheap. Tonight I allowed a boy who wasn't my boyfriend to kiss me and then tried to silently make up for it by getting hot and heavy with my actual boyfriend. Now I was away from Michael I felt horrible about the nights events. I hadn't really been that ready to get that physical and all I could think was thank Merlin Fred turned up when he did. If he hadn't I could be regretting a whole lot more than some heavy petting.

I wasn't sure what I was going to do tomorrow. As much as I'd like to hide away in my room all day I was going to have to see James, we had a quidditch match after all. I also wasn't sure how I'd feel when I saw Michael – was he going to want to carry on where we left off? Should I tell him about James and I?

How had everything got so screwed up. I had to shower, the feelings of dirty and betrayal were cursing through me and I was desperately hoping that after my shower everything would become clear again.


	17. Chapter 17

**Hi everyone**

**I can express how sorry I am that it has taken me so long to upload this chapter. I have had it written out on paper for ages, but work has been so busy that I never had time to copy onto the computer, and then I've had a bit of writers block and wasn't sure how I could take this story forward from this chapter and get the story to where I want it to be, but including all the drama that will be coming up in the next for chapters. However, I finally feel like I will be able to get somewhere and have finally had time to write this up! So here it is, hurrah!**

**Hopefully it won't take as long to bring you the next chapter, although I am worried you all might hate the direction I take the story in –please rest assured that I have a plan and all will turn out right in the wash!**

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**Please forgive any typos there might be, I haven't had a proper chance to check this through, but I wanted to upload it asap!**

**Love to all and on with the chapter! **

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><p><strong>Hope's POV<strong>

That night I lay in bed trying desperately to sleep, very much aware that I had a quidditch match in the morning. However this thought did nothing to settle my restlessness, because not only did this in itself fill me with a sense of dread, but it also brought with it the reality that I would have to face James tomorrow – no matter how much I wished I could avoid him for the rest of the year. Hell I wished I could avoid him for the rest of my school life!

Every time I thought of James I felt my stomach turn over. Why had we kissed? What could possibly have made him kiss me? Why had I kissed him back? I could not stop these thoughts from rolling round and round in my head and sleep was impossible as a result. More than anything I was terrified that there would be no coming back from this – that after years of bickering and months of building up an actual real friendship we'd finally crossed a line we couldn't go back over. We'd come so far only to have ruined it in one moment of heated…passion? Tension? I wasn't really sure what it was exactly, but I was scared to death that it had caused a break that this time could not be repaired.

Finally at 4am I accepted that I wasn't going to be able to sleep. I needed to get up, to do something – anything – to keep me from going crazy. What I really needed was to speak to someone, but whom? I didn't particularly get on with any of my roommates; Roxy was related to James and for once I didn't think she'd be the best person to go too; Fred was obviously a no go; I doubted Ollie would be able to help me, although I am sure he would try his best to understand my inner turmoil…there was always Mia and Sky, after all I did know how to access both the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff dorms and how to gain entrance to them. I doubted that Mia would be the best person to speak to right now as well, as much as I love her and I know she loves me, I could almost see her smug face in my mind's eye – she had after all since third year she has been insinuating that James and I ooze sexual tension. That just left Sky, who I knew would be kind and understanding. I also knew without a doubt she would not judge me for anything that had happened.

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><p>Twenty minutes later I was climbing the stairs to Ravenclaw Tower, scared at the prospect of being caught by Flinch. That was the last thing I needed right now. But after what felt like hours I finally made it up the stair case and took a deep breath, there was no sign of Flinch so I guessed that meant I was safe for now. However my relief was short lived when I realised I'd have to answer the riddle that granted you access to the Tower. Usually this would be no problem for me at all, but right now I wasn't sure my mind was sharp enough to figure out puzzles and word games.<p>

But to my utter fear and then relief before I had a chance to even take one step towards the sleeping portrait on the entrance a familiar voice came from the shadows behind me, 'You're later than I thought you would be…but I knew you'd come.'

I spun around on my heels to see Sky sitting cross legged in the corner, wearing nothing but her flowery pjs and a fuzzy dressing gown.

'Sky, what are you doing up? What do you mean you knew I would come?' I asked in a mixture of utter relief at her being there but totally perplexity at her calm assurance that I was going to turn up at her house 4.20am.

She merely shrugged and said again 'I knew you'd come.'

I looked at her in awe for a few seconds. Sky's magic has always been unique, she has the ability to cast a calming influence over people without even saying a word, and she just knew things instinctively without having to be told. For instance she would just always know if something was wrong and someone needed her. When asked about his she has always just said she gets a queer feeling in her belly and that feeling will unconsciously just lead her to where she is needed. I am not sure what causes this, it could be result of her unusual magical heritage, but whatever it is it always astounds me – and in cases such as tonight when I am the one who needs her, I am unequivocally grateful for her wonderful instinctive magical talents.

'You are sad.' She said as she stood up abruptly and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.

'Yes' I replied, suddenly feeling very numb.

Sky wordlessly put a comforting arm around me and led me into her common room without speaking a word to me. I was glad of the silence for those few minutes, everything was becoming a bit of a blur to me and the day's events and the lack of sleep were starting to take their toll on me.

When Sky has expertly guided my dazed self to the sofa and nestled down next to me, she placed a soft hand of my shoulder and said: 'Now in your own time, tell me everything.'

I looked at her and I felt the tears welling up behind my eyes, 'Sky….' I muttered, 'I've done a terrible thing.' I managed to choke out before the water behind my eyes finally broke free and started falling down my cheeks.

'Oh honey' she replied as she threw her arms around me and pulled me close, 'It can't be that bad.'

I let out a bitter laugh and said, 'I don't know…James kissed me-' Sky kept her arm tight around me but pulled back to look at my face, it was clear she was about to say something so I carried on quickly before she had a chance to interrupt me, '-and I kissed him back.'

This time I had no choice but to stop speaking, as I let out an involuntary sob and Sky cut through me with a rather surprised shout of 'What?'

'I know, I know' I said, feeling so broken as I spoke, 'Merlin that isn't even the worst thing though Sky….' She looked at me but didn't say anything, sensing that I just needed to get everything of my chest in one go, '…I mean I only kissed him back for a few seconds until I realised what I was doing and I pushed him away….but then I went and met Michael – I didn't tell him what happened, I should have done, I know I should have done – but I couldn't. Oh Merlin….' The tears were really coming now and I had to force myself to carry on, '…I threw myself at him instead Sky. I did things I really shouldn't have done – not under the circumstances. And now I feel dirty and cheap.'

Sky looked at me and squeezed me to her a little more tightly, before speaking and asking tentatively 'You didn't sleep with him did you?'

I shook my head before I found the strength to speak again, 'No, Fred kind of interrupted our make out session…but I don't know what would have happened if he hadn't have done. Oh Sky what am I going to do? What kind of horrible hussy am I? That I would cheat on my boyfriend and then try and make it better by just throwing myself at him?'

Sky pulled me as close as she possibly could and stroked my hair and whispered comforting words to me as I cried on her shoulder. She reassured me again and again that I was neither a hussy nor a horrible person, because if I was either of those I would not be with her now, at 5am in the morning, crying my heart out.

When I had calmed down enough to speak again she pulled back, looked me in the eye and said, 'Now I think we should start from the beginning…why do you think this kiss with James happened?'

'I don't know….I've been trying to make sense of it and I just….can't.'

'Well what was happening prior to it happening? What situation led to it?' she prodded lightly.

'Well we were fighting…because I told him I was going to tell Michael I loved him and he basically said I was lying to myself. I shouted at him, went to storm out, but then the next thing I know he had grabbed my arm and was kissing me.'

Sky looked at me for a moment before asking, 'And then you started to kiss him back?'

I nodded wordlessly looking down at my hands.

'And….did you enjoy it?' she questioned tentatively.

'I don't know…it was over so quickly…but yes, I guess a little.' I could not believe I was admitting that, and I felt like I had to clarify what I meant, 'it was different you know – the only other person I've ever kissed is Michael.'

'It is ok Hope you don't have to expl-'

I cut Sky off before she could even finish her sentence, I had too. I felt like I was about to explode with the pressure.

'But if isn't ok is it? I kissed someone who wasn't my boyfriend! I kissed a friend! And more than that a self-confessed man whore. I've probably ruined everything, my relationship, my friendship – not just with James but with everyone else. And I did exactly what other girl in this school has already done and became another conquest that James Sirius Potter can add to his ever expanding list.'

'That is a bit harsh Hope' Sky said reproachfully, 'for a start I don't think any of your other friends will be that bothered, even if most of them are James' family. In fact going on past experience I'd say they'd probably be more judgemental of him than you. And as for James, of course you won't be just another conquest! He cares for you, deeply…I doubt he would kiss you if he didn't.'

I looked at her, but I could not quite believe I was hearing her say that.

'Oh come on Sky, James could be with any girl in this school and most of the girls outside of it as well….what would he want with me?'

'Well that is something I think you need to ask him' she said, 'but honey believe me that boy definitely feels more for you than you give him credit for – the real question here is how you feel for him. And I mean really feel for him Hope – I see the way the two of you are together...don't deny there isn't some lingering feeling on your part.'

I sighed and looked down at my hands, tears forming behind my eyes for what felt like the millionth time today. I spoke quietly, while still looking at my hands. It was easier than looking her in the eyes.

'What about Michael though? I mean I love him…or at least I think I do, I mean I care for him – deeply, and I am happy with him…but you are right. Recently everything with James has been so confusing too. I mean when he hugs me I feel something stir within me, and when he got hurt trying to save Ollie it felt like my life would never have colour again if he didn't get better, and when we go without speaking for long periods of time – even if it is because I am really angry with him for one reason or another – I miss him terribly.'

I couldn't stop from sobbing into my hands when I finished speaking, and Sky once again pulled me close, stroking my hair and whispering that everything was going to be ok.

When I calmed down a little she took my head in her hands gently and lifted it so she could look me in the eyes, and then squeezing my hand gently she said, 'I think you need to speak to James, hear him out properly and discuss what happened properly. And then I think you need to think carefully about what you want and if it is James then that is ok, if it is Michael then that is fine too…even if you decide you might be better being alone for a while then it will be alright do you hear me? Your friends love you, and both James and Michael care about you, and whatever you decide I doubt it will change any of that. And whatever happens I will be here for you. But you need to do this Hope, you need to decide what you want and you need to speak to James, you won't be happy until you do.'

I took a shuddering breath and nodded.

'You're right, and I do need to speak to James…I'll do it tomorrow, after the match.'


	18. Chapter 18

**Hi guys, here is chapter 18! Two in two days, I hope you enjoy it!**

**It is a bit more of a filler as I felt it was important we knew where James' head was at after everything that has happened. And I have to admit it was a lot darker than I was expecting it to be – but I liked the fact that James is starting to dislike and question his animal possessiveness – it shows he is growing up and becoming a better person, and I think we all know why that is ;)**

**Anyway here we go, I hope you enjoy. Review if you can, I would be most grateful!**

**Disclaimer – No Harry Potter is not mine, just my characterisation of James and the character of Hope come from my empty little head.**

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><p><strong>James POV<strong>

The morning light fluttered through the window and through the slight opening in the curtains surrounding my bed hitting my eyes like bolts of lighting and waking me up from probably the worst night's sleep I have ever had. I am lucky I guess that when I have trouble sleeping it is only because of my love life, and not because of anything more serious. After all I know what kept my dad awake over many nights when he was my age and it certainly wasn't girls…well not most of the time.

I know that I am lucky, I know that I am privileged. While there may be dark magic on the up rise across Europe, with the whispers and rumours of the possibility of war breaking out, as of yet it has never touched me. I have never had to suffer the loss of loved ones, or had to live with the fear of losing more…but even though I know how lucky I am, I couldn't help the angry groan that escapes my lips when the sun disturbed my sleep, nor could I block out the bitter feeling that I perhaps have it worse than anyone my age has ever had it before. Like life has dealt me the most unfair hand – which is funny when you consider the fact that by my age my dad had fought of the world's biggest psychopath on many occasions, had seen many people he cared for die in front of him, had been branded a liar by many and lived with the knowledge that just by being associated with him many of the people he loved were putting their lives on the line. Oh and he was an orphan and spent many years being raised by two people who cared very little for him.

I rolled over in the bed in frustration, while thinking bitterly how it is no use. Now my brain was awake there was no way I was getting back to sleep, it had taken me long enough to finally shut the angry thoughts down the first time.

I looked at my watch, hoping perhaps I had been asleep for two hours at least, but my watched read 5.30am, I groaned again. I'd only been asleep for about 45 minutes. I wished more than anything I could go back to sleep for a couple of hours at least. Usually on a match day I'd be buzzing from the minute my eyes opened and I'd bounce out of bed in the early hours of the morning, eager for stimulation and the coming sporting excitement. But not this morning, instead this morning I wished I could put off getting out of bed and put of having to think for as long as I could – because then I could put off having to feel the angry and fierce pain in my chest that constantly reminded me of what an idiot I had been the night before.

As I lay there sullenly mulling over all of this and hating myself for feeling as though my life was so bad – when deep down I recognised how much more privileged my generation where compared to those of the past 100 years, all of who just accepted that war was a part of their day to day teenage lives – I couldn't help thinking back to the morning of the last quidditch match. I remembered how I had risen early that morning to find Wood freaking out in the common room, and how I'd managed to calm her down. I wondered if I loved her then…I had feelings for her, I know that much. I remember how strange and wonderful it had felt putting my arm around her to try and calm her. Looking back on it it was clear that I was starting to care for her, but no I don't think I could claim that I loved her then – especially considering how much I loved her now.

No doubt she would be freaking out again, but this time for a very different reason. And again I angrily asked myself why I had to have kissed her last night. I must have ruined everything I'd worked so hard for over the last few months – all that time I'd spent trying to show her what a good guy I really was, all that time trying to prove that I was as good as she held me up to be – hoping that perhaps one day, when the time was right, I'd be able to tell her how I really felt. I had had a plan, a plan that one day I might eventually be able to tell her that I couldn't imagine ever wanting to be with any other girl other than her…but to have kissed her like that, not to mention the things I said to her when she told me she loved Michael, that must have destroyed all the groundwork I'd been laying in order to bring myself closer to her.

Suddenly from the bed across from me Fred let out a huge snore. Usually I wouldn't mind this, in fact I'd probably find it highly entertaining – but this morning it irritated me no end and I wanted to shake Fred so hard, shake him until he woke up and shut up.

The longer I lay in bed with my mind racing, the more frustrated I became until I just couldn't stand it anymore. I pulled back the covers, swung out of bed, pulled on my jogging bottoms and an old t-shirt and headed outside for a run, hoping it would help to clear my head.

When I reached the grounds outside I set off without really planning where I was going to go to and finally let my mind race through all the thoughts I'd been trying to block out whilst laying in bed. I didn't mind the mingled emotions that came from these thoughts when I was running, nor did the pain that I felt in my chest when I thought over last night's events or the girl whose very existence had started to unravel my previously happy playboy lifestyle – because that pain and those negative thoughts pushed me on. The more dark and bitter I became, the harder I pushed myself. It was my own form of personal punishment.

I started by thinking about what Hope had said last night and the dark cloud hanging over me spread as I considered the implications. Did she love Michael? I had been so sure yesterday that she didn't, but then I had been so blinded by my own jealousy that perhaps I had interpreted what she said into what I wanted to believe was true. If she really did love Michael then I had completely failed in my duty as a friend by being so unsupportive.

And why had I been so unsupportive? Yes I loved her and it cut straight through to my heart to think that she loved someone else, and it hurt more than I could have imagined to hear her say it out loud to me. But it was more than that; it was the implications of what it could mean if she did love him – and it was the jealousy that that raised in me which had sent me over the edge.

If Hope loved Michael, really loved him, would she sleep with him? This made my insides rage, something primal took over and it made me want to rip something, anything, to try and quieten the beast within me.

But then my mind- the rational, good part of it anyway - despised my caveman type reaction to this. It constantly battled with my primal anger to ask if it would really matter anymore of less if Hope did sleep with Michael…I mean would I love her any less? This part of me also kept questioning whether I'd be less enraged if I wasn't 100% sure that Hope was a virgin.

Did that somehow make her appeal to me more?

Would I love her any less if she wasn't as pure and innocent as she is now?

My gut reaction was to say no, of course I'd love her just as much if she had slept with 100s of people because she'd still be Hope…selfless, loyal, stubborn, argumentative, passionate, fiery, infuriating, funny, intelligent, caring, brave…

So why did it matter so much to me? Why did I feel like I had some primal claim to her virginity, or her body?

The rational, liberal side of me was sickened by these feelings. And it scared me a little that in the heat of the moment I'd allowed those primal urges to win out. I hadn't been thinking when I reached out, grabbed her and kissed her. It had just been basic instinct and now in the light of day I regretted it terribly.

Hope no doubt would be beside herself. Her sense of guilt is stronger than most people's and I had no reservations over how cut up she would feel about someone kissing her when she had a boyfriend. There was also the fact that she kissed me back, even if it was only for a second. I knew it was a natural, instinctive reaction that happens before the brain has chance to process what is happening - and when hers had kicked in she had pushed me away and fled. As much as I wanted to believe that she had kissed me back out of some form of affection, I just couldn't. All I knew was I had screwed up and Hope probably hated me for the kiss, but that would probably nothing compared to the hatred she would feel for herself and instinctively kissing me back.

Thinking about that caused me to push a little bit harder and sprint a little bit more than I already was doing – pain – I needed to feel pain.

After I had kissed her last night and she had fled the room I had desperately wanted to chase after her. But I didn't. I did want to explain why I had done what I had done, but I didn't even know where to begin and I knew she would probably be too emotional to really understand and hear what I was saying. But now I didn't know how we were going to get through the day, let alone the rest of the school year.

I did however suspect that she would go back to ignoring and avoiding me whenever possible and when she couldn't do that, I expected she would probably return to calling me Potter rather than James, and she'd return to giving me short, sharp replies.

Part of me wished I could make her see how much that would kill me, but I just didn't know where to start – especially when I was feeling such dislike for myself. How could I ever stand before her and convince her I was worthy of her, when I didn't even believe it myself?

Finally the pain in my chest became too much and I had to stop – it was no longer just an emotional pain but a physical one too and I was struggling to breath. I collapsed onto the nearest patch of grass, panting and focusing on not letting the pain overtake me. After what felt like hours the pain subsided and I looked at my watch. 7.48am – I must have been running for well over an hour then. That meant I had a little over two and a half hours until the quidditch match. I didn't really fancy going and sitting in the Great Hall with everyone this morning. Instead I decided it would be a much better use of time to work on quidditch plays.

Getting up off the ground I stretched before looking around, realising just how far away from the castle I was. I didn't feel much like running back, but walking would take an age. Instead I decided the best thing to do would be to jog half way, then complete the rest of the journey at a gentle walking pace. This still took me a good 40 minutes.

When I got back I climbed to Gryffindor Tower and went straight into my dorm room. Fred was dressed, but he was lolling on his bed and didn't appear to be fully awake and with it.

I hit him with a sock to get his attention and when he looked at me I said, 'Hey I'm gonna skip breakfast to go to the changing rooms and start working on today's plays – I'll see you and the rest of the team there later.'

He just nodded at me as I grabbed my captains logbook and darted away as fast as I could, running through the common room so I could limit the chance of bumping into _her._

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><p>20 minutes before the match I heard door of the changing rooms open. I looked up from the whiteboard I was currently writing quidditch strategies on expecting to see the team filing in, but instead I was met by just one set of incredibly intoxicating blue eyes.<p>

'Hi' she said tentatively.

'Hi' I said breathlessly back, surprised and hopeful that she had come in a little before the others, and by the looks of it not to scream at me.

I did however note that she was keeping a considerable amount of distance between us. Which was probably a smart move.

She looked down and then back up nervously before she spoke again.

'Listen James, about last nig-'

'I am so sorry Hope. So, so sorry…I know you must hate me and I feel like an absolutely prick and I ju-'

'No' she said quite firmly, and smiled sadly at me before continuing, 'the last thing I feel for you is hate James, I could never hate you! I'm just….confused and a little sad about everything I guess. And I hate myself for how I acted and for the fact I've let everything get so messy between us.'

She stopped, biting her lip and clearly trying to control her emotions in order to keep the tears that were threatening to fall at bay.

I wanted desperately to go over to her and engulf her in a hug, comforting her and taking away all her sadness. Seeing her so beaten down was killing me. But I didn't want to rock the boat, Hope was speaking to me and she said she didn't hate me – and that was far more than I could have ever hoped for – but I didn't know how much I should test the waters.

Instead I looked down and asked, 'So what now?'

She let out a nervous laugh and I was relieved to see the faint trace of a smile on her face when I looked up at her.

'Well we have a quidditch match to win first and foremost. But then later I think we need to talk…I really think there are things we need to discuss if we want to stay in each other's lives.'

She looked nervously at me, visibly worried about how I would react to this. So to lighten the mood I smiled at her before replying.

'I think you are right, and I agree talking things through will help to clear the air – and hopefully help to make us both feel better and sort some things out.'

She smiled broadly at me when I said that and moved forward, opening her arms out in invitation for a hug, which I gladly accepted. I wrapped her in my arms and brought her in tightly against me, and she instinctively buried her head in my shoulder and squeezed me tightly. Then she whispered that if we were going to win today's match then I had to eat something, since I had skipped breakfast, so she had taken the executive decision to sneak me some pastries. I laughed then, a good hearty laugh, and buried my head in hair on the top of her head.

Once again the feeling of utter calm and the knowledge that this was where I really longed to be washed over me. Hope belonged in my arms and I was going to fight to prove that to her. I would take what I could get for now and things as they stood were better than I could have dreamed half an hour ago; she didn't hate me and she wanted to talk about what happened – and whatever that led to, even if it wasn't exactly what I wanted, well then that would be ok for now…as long as we remained as close as we had become recently then I could wait for her love – and whatever our talk led to, as long as her friendship remained as a beacon of light in my life then I could face anything.


	19. Chapter 19

**Hi guys, thank you for the lovely reviews – they keep me motivated and they make me SOOOO HAPPY!**

**That said I don't think most of you will like this chapter…please don't hate me and please don't hate any of the characters. I have a plan I promise and to get the story to where I want it to go this has to happen. I feel I should warn you that this chapter and the next will be full of angst, anger and tension, but by then things will go back to being lovely for our dynamic duo! So please, please do not be disheartened and don't give up! I swear to goodness it will be worth it all when the mushy stuff finally happens and I cannot wait to get there!**

**I am hoping I can update asap over the next week because I want to try and get past all the drama as soon as I can for you, but I cannot promise anything.**

**I hope you enjoy – the character perspective switches a lot in this chapter, I hope you are all ok switching back and forth between James and Hope!**

**Disclaimer – Sadly HP is not mine, but I would love to own Sirius Black…**

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><p><strong>Hope's POV<strong>

The room was packed with people and the air was stuffy as a result. Everywhere I looked I could see smiling faces basking in the glow of our record breaking win and the sound of laughter was wafting through the air. As wonderful as this was, it meant I was finding it hard to spot the one person I really wanted to speak to right now.

After We'd won the match, in no less than 20 minutes I might add, the crowd had gone wild. And although James had been the first person I sought out when I landed on the ground, throwing my arms around him in celebration, we'd soon been prised apart by the joyful crowd. Then out team had been whisked away to the common room for a post-match celebration. All James and I had been able to do for the past 4 hours was share some meaningful 'we need to get away and talk' looks from across the room, before someone new would come along and demand our concentration – it was nice that everyone wanted to congratulate us, but right now the celebratory side of being the co-captain of a winning team was a bit of down side also.

Time was running out, Michael was going to drop by at 6pm and I wanted to speak to James before I saw him. That meant we only had a little over two hours to have our talk. Plus I wanted to get it over with before my nerves failed me. Going into the changing room before anyone else today and speaking to James had taken all my Gryffindor courage, and I knew beyond a doubt that the longer that the longer this talk was put off the more my courage would be stretched to breaking point.

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><p><strong>James' POV<strong>

'Have another butterbeer mate!' Fred said as he practically shoved another at me.

I took it off him, clapped him on the back and then proceeded to ignore him as I scouted out the room for any sign of dark curly hair – knowing this would lead to the one person I really wanted to see right now. But there were so many people in the room right now it was impossible to try and make her out.

It was sweet really, how much the Gryffindor students wanted to celebrate our win – but at the same time this was the worst moment. I needed to speak to Hope, the longer we left it the more I allowed my imagination run wild. And the more my imagination ran wild, the more I began to believe she wanted to speak to me because she did in fact love me too. The rational part of me knew this was probably not the case, and to even hope for some kind of declaration of the more than just good friends kind was letting me in for a fall – but yet I couldn't seem to stop myself from hoping.

After the match Hope had practically launched into my arms and I had even imagined perhaps she was going to kill me – but then the next thing I know Michael was there and she was walking over to him. I noticed she didn't kiss him though, perhaps she was going to talk to him and tell him about the kiss? Perhaps there was hope yet?

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><p><strong>Hope's POV <strong>

Michael was early. I couldn't quite forgive myself for my initial disappointment when someone put their hands over my eyes; I had been so sure that it would be James. I'd practically bounded round to see my mystery joker only to come face to face with Michael.

I'm sure my face must have betrayed my inner disappointment when I said his name, as realisation dawned on me that he was early, and that this meant that speaking to James was going to have to wait until I could shake Michael off.

'I wanted to surprise you. Is now a bad time?' He asked sweetly, oblivious to my inner turmoil.

This in turn made me feel like a horrible person.

'No of course not' I said throwing my arms around him and adding, 'I'm so glad you're here.' As I crossed my fingers to make up for the little white lie.

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><p><strong>James' POV<strong>

'Sky' I said when she came floating over to talk to Fred and I, 'Sorry about kicking your houses team today – but how nice of you to come and celebrate in our success.' I teased.

Sky rolled her eyes and laughed naturally at me before saying, 'Oh well you know, we like to make the rest of the school feel like they are winning at something – after all we've won the house cup hands down for the last three years running. And with the exception of Hope we're constantly lead the tables in terms of exam results.'

She winked at me when she finished speaking and I just stuck my tongue out at her in response, which lead to her giggling and saying, 'Oh mature much?'

I rolled my eyes before casually asking, 'Speaking of Wood….have you seen her?'

A funny smile crossed over Sky's face as I asked that, and I knew in an instant that although I was trying to act nonchalant about the whole thing she knew something.

'No sorry. But I'll keep my eyes peeled.' She answered softly.

Just then an incredibly leggy blonde walked up to me and gently pinched my behind, before leaning in and whispering 'I've always wanted a quidditch legend to sign my breasts, I know you are no legend but if you want I'll have a practice run with you?'

Whoa! Not even a hello – just straight in and for the kill. Sometimes it still baffled me that this happened to me on a regular basis. I knew it was only because I was a Potter boy, but still…this never happens to Albus, in fact Fred and Scor get far for action than Al. I guess that is because Albus comes across as shy and quiet – even though he isn't – but my cocky attitude has always kind of out shadowed Al's for laid back and patient attitude.

There was a time when random girls coming onto me like this would have sent me sprinting for a broom cupboard or empty classroom with said girl in tow. But not, now something had changed within me and I wanted to be different. Hope made me want to be different, so I gently removed her hands from my backside and said, 'As tempting as that offer might be I'm going to pass. I'm really not interested love.'

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><p><strong>Hope's POV<strong>

When I pulled back from Michael I finally spotted James, some girl was whispering in his ear and cupping his backside at the same time. Something in my chest contracted painfully and I had to look away.

I tried to reasons with myself that I was being foolish. James was a free agent, girls were perfectly entitled to come up and touch him. Plus I didn't know the full story, so he could have been innocently set upon.

I heard Michael enquire if I was ok and I looked up smiling at him and nodded, before reaching up and kissing him softly on the lips. But the image of the blonde girl touching James so intimately remained in my thoughts, even after Michael deepened the kiss.

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><p><strong>James' POV<strong>

The girl removed her hand and tossed her hair rather haughtily, before saying 'Well your loss precious' and marching off angrily.

I turned to find Fred staring at me with wide eyes, while Sky was smiling at me knowingly.

'Did you and Hope have some kind of freaky magic body or personality swap? I mean you're actually turning girls down now when they offer to sleep with you, whereas I am catching Hope out in the open getting freaky!'

Whoa what?

I looked at Fred and from the corner of my eye I saw Sky looking horrified at him as well.

'What? When? What do you mean?' I demanded a little more harshly than I really meant too.

Fred looked a little taken aback by my abruptness and by the obvious frustration on my face. He also looked sheepish and embarrassed

'Ummm it really isn't my place to say, I shouldn't have said anything.' He replied.

'No really Fred tell me, it is important.' I said, gritting my teeth and clenching my fists to keep from grabbing him and forcing him to tell me.

I think he sensed my slightly hostile nature as he replied almost immediately, 'Well look it was nothing, it is just kind caught Michael groping Hope in the bushes last night…' he trailed off looking embarrassed.

'What time?' I asked, trying to sound as nonchalant as I could.

'I dunno, not long before curfew so probably about 9.30pm or so.'

I felt my blood run cold and I could hear my heart beating in my ears. I felt like such an idiot, all day I'd been filled with ideas of Hope telling me perhaps she cared for me. I was angry at her too, last night I worried myself crazy thinking about how awful she'd be feeling – but it turns out she didn't care. She went straight from kissing me to being fondled by that idiot. Somewhere in the back of my mind I recognised that Hope hadn't actually done anything wrong, Michael was her boyfriend and she had never once said that she wanted to change that.

'Excuse me.' I said as I turned to leave.

Fred looked utterly perplexed at my strange behaviour, while Sky looked horrified.

'No James wait' she cried grabbing my arm 'Whatever you're thinking you've got this all wrong.' She pleaded.

'Oh really?' I spat bitterly as I caught sight of Hope and Michael wrapped up in each other on the other side of the room. 'It doesn't look like it from here.' I finished as I shook her arm off and started heading towards the door, grabbing an abandoned unopened bottle of fire whiskey as I went.

I could hear Sky in the background calling me to stay, saying that I didn't understand….didn't understand what exactly? That last night's kiss obviously didn't mean anything to Hope? That right after I kissed her she went out and would have done goodness knows what with her boyfriend if Fred hadn't found them? That while I had been practically giddy all day after seeing her this morning, excited by the prospect of our 'talk', Hope was once again too busy playing tonsil tennis with that jumped up jerk? Or was it that I obviously couldn't understand that Hope would clearly rather have Mr Perfect quidditch geek than me Mr playboy hot shot?

I understood all of that perfectly, which is why I intended to spend the next few hours getting well and truly hammered to try and forget.

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><p><strong>Hope's POV<strong>

I was so tired and my head ached and the last thing I wanted to be doing right now was trying to act casual as I did the last prefect rounds of the night with Michael. I really wanted to be in bed trying to catch up on the sleep I missed last night, well that or speaking to James – but after Michael had showed up at the Gryffindor common room James had been MIA.

Just before rounds had started Sky had grabbed my arm, pulling me into a corner away from the ears of the other prefects and saying she needed to speak to me in private about James. However Dom had demanded to know why we felt what we had to share privately with each other was worthy of the rest of the prefects putting their lies on hold while they waited for us? She had then given us both her very best death glare, causing us both to spring apart from our safe corner muttering our apologies. But as Michael and I had been heading out the prefect room to petrol our corner of the castle Sky whispered that she'd meet me after we'd all finished rounds at the astronomy tower, as this was the last place I had to check as part of my rounds tonight.

I nodded, as much as I wanted to crawl into bed the look on Sky's face and the idea that she might know where James had been all afternoon outweighed my tiredness in this instance.

Towards the end of our rounds Michael grabbed hold of my bringing me towards him and kissing me passionately.

'I've missed you' he said as he pulled away.

'You saw me a little over 4 hours ago, not to mention we've been together for the last 40 minutes' I said trying to pull away – only for Michael to grip me a little harder.

'Yeah I know but I wanted to see you like yesterday…alone.' And with that he was kissing me again, backing me into the wall as he did so. After a few seconds he moved away from my mouth and started kissing my collar bone as his hand sneaked up to grab my breast.

'Michael' I whimpered, but he didn't hear me, or at least he chose not to hear me…I couldn't tell which, 'Michael' I said with more force, grabbing his hand to try and stop its assault on my breast, but rather than doing so he reached for the hem of my vest top and started to lift it.

'No Michael stop!' I said grabbing his hands and yanking them away, pushing him away from me for good measure making sure he knew I meant business.

'It is ok Hope, no one is going to find us here.' And he started to reach for me again, but once again I grabbed his hands to stop him.

'No Michael it isn't that, well it is, I mean I don't really want a quick rumble out here in hall where anyone could walk by – but it is more than that. I just don't think last night should have happened. I wasn't really ready for it and I'm not sure it wasn't a mistake.'

'What?' he said stepping back and looking incredibly angry, 'so you just teased me, made me want you and then decided you weren't ready?'

'What?' I said utterly perplexed, I'd never seen Michael turn like this, 'no of course not, I'm just confused….look Michael I did something stupid last night that I really need to tell you about…' I carried on as the tears started to build behind my eyes.

'Whatever.' He replied coldly as he stepped back even further, 'right now I really couldn't care less. I never would have guessed you'd be the kind of girl to get a guy hot and bothered under the collar and then leave them dangling. You're cheap Hope – do you know that? You're just as bad as all the other sluts, do you hear me?'

I couldn't believe he had just said that, how could he be so cold?

Michael turned to leave and of course that was when my goody two shoes nature kicked in. I grabbed his arm to ask where he was going, we still hadn't checked the astronomy tower. He just turned to look at me angrily before spitting out 'Just check it out yourself, I can't stand to be around you right now.' And then he marched off in the opposite direction, leaving me looking at him opened mouthed.

When I was sure he was gone I allowed myself a few seconds to cry. I didn't want to spend too long crying though, after all I still had things to do and I could hold onto the majority of my emotions until I reached my room. After about 5 minutes I pulled myself together and pushed all thoughts of Michael and James out of my mind, and although I was still shaking I started making my way to the astronomy tower, clutching my wand to me tightly.

Now I was alone I wasn't sure how thrilled most of the people I knew would be thrilled to hear I had decided to finish rounds on my own, but after all I had a job to do and I was determined to finish it. Not to mention I was secure enough in my abilities to believe I could protect myself if needs be…and I still had to meet Sky.

As I reached the astronomy tower I was hit again by how beautiful it was up here when the sun went down, and whilst it might only be 9pm and the sun had only just set it looked amazing.

I was about to leave when I heard something in a little room off in the corner, and although something in me was screaming not to go and check it out, a bigger part of me felt like I had a responsibility too. So clutching my wand even tighter and summing up all my Gryffindor courage I pressed on forward, taking the handle of the door tentatively and pushing it open as softly and quietly as I could.

My mind raced with the possibilities of what could be behind the door, ranging from the very logical idea that it could be a teacher or an owl, to the terrifying idea that it could be someone looking to cause harm, to the downright absurd idea that it could be a band of leprechauns practising a celebratory dance, but nothing prepared me for what I stumbled into.

In the room there were two people; one was balanced on a table, whilst the other stood in front thrusting into her…and by the looks of it both of them were really going at it.

It took my minds few seconds to process who the two people there, and even when I did I found it hard to believe or process. My mind just kept screaming that they wouldn't, as I willed myself to believe what I could clearly see happening in front of me.

Suddenly the pair seemed to register that they were no longer alone.

'HOLY SHIT!' Mia said guiltily, as James turned to look at me a face filled of complete horror.

I think he called my name, but I'm not sure because at that moment I turned and ran, and for the second time in just over 24 hours I found myself running like my life depended on it….and once again it was all because of James Sirius Potter.


	20. Chapter 20

**Hi guys, thank you for all the lovely reviews! I am glad a lot of you were a little pissed at James and Michael...that was what I was hoping would happen. This chapter isn't much happier than the most, but I promise either the next chapter or the chapter after will see Hope and James rebuild some of those burnt bridges.**

**But until then, enjoy this chapter, review because I LOVE reading them and rest assured that Hope and James are nearly on the brink of something!**

**As always Harry Potter is not mine!**

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><p><strong>James POV<strong>

After Wood opened the door and stumbled onto me and Mia everything that followed immediately after became a bit of a blur. Not that everything that happened before was rosy and clear – the amount of alcohol the two of us had consumed was effective in that sense at least.

What I do know however is that I a scrambled into my trousers as quickly as humanly possible with only the thought in my head being that I had to chase after Hope and explain…explain what exactly though? I was shagging one of her best friends, what could I say to make that right? I didn't know, but what I did know was that I had to go after her, grab hold of her and never let her go until she forgot about everything she'd just seen.

I thought all of this in about the space of about five seconds as I made myself semi decent. And then I was away, running down the corridor where Hope's retreating black curls could still be seen in the distance. I wasn't sure if Mia was following me and right then I couldn't care less, Mia was my last concern right now.

I finally caught Hope just outside of the Gryffindor common room, right before she said the password. She may be a fast runner when she wants to be but I am still the taller out of the two of us, and right now I was thankful for my long runner's legs.

'Hope' I said as I reached out to touch her lightly on the arm.

As soon as my hand touched her she span around on her heel and her hand collided painfully with my face, the slap echoing all down the hall and my skin exploding with a stinging sensation almost instantly. I stumbled back a bit, shocked by the slap. In all our years id fighting and in all our massive blow outs she had never once slapped me, despite me sometimes deserving perhaps. Something within me broke apart a little to know I'd done something that hurt her that much.

'Why?' she demanded, as I looked at her face and took in the tear-tracks and her broken eyes, 'out of all the girls why Mia? Why one of my best friends? Why not the blonde girl from the party earlier?'

'I don't know.' I answered a little bewildered.

'Liar' she screamed as she pushed me, 'dirty filthy liar' she continued to say as she punched me again and again anywhere she could reach.

I made no attempt to fight back, but as gently as I could I took both of her wrists to stop her attack. It wasn't that I wanted to stop her, I deserved everything she had to throw at me, but I was worried about her hurting herself.

'Let me go!' she screeched hysterically, thrashing desperately against me to get free.

'Hope, shhh, calm down. Please Hope you are going to hurt yourself.'

She stopped fighting at my calming words but pulled away from me, as far as she could do.

'Why did you spend so long acting like you actually gave a shit this year? Why? Did you see I might actually be happy and decide it would be great to mess with my head?'

The way she was looking at me nearly killed me, and all I could do was stare back at her bewildered as to what I could say to make this right.

'No of course not. Hope honestly I didn't want to hurt you. I never intended to mess with your head!' I said as I reached out to touch her tentatively.

'Don't touch me.' She shouted pulling away and shaking uncontrollably, 'I was fine…and then you had to come along and…' she was finding it difficult to get her words or breath out. She slumped forward putting her hands on her knees and tried desperately to take in air.

I was terrified, she was wheezing uncontrollably, but it was evident she didn't want me to touch her.

'Hope' I said cautiously as I stepped forward and once again tried to touch her gently.

'No' she said stumbling backwards away from me.

Then from behind me I heard the sound of voices, which came to an abrupt halt when the little procession of people saw the two of us by the portrait, with Hope struggling to take in breath.

'Hope' Ollie said, terror in his voice as he moved forward and put his arm around her, 'What's wrong with her?' he demanded, looking at me accusingly.

'I don't know what is wrong with her.' I said desperately.

'She is having a panic attack' Lily stated as she came forward, 'we need to get to the hospital wing.'

My little sister, always the clear headed one.

'James help us to carry her,' Lily instructed.

I moved forward dutifully and put my arm around her waist, but Hope pulled away from me as Lily shot me a look of complete bewilderment.

'Louis can you help Ollie guide Hope. Hope everything is ok, if you don't want James to come with us he doesn't have too, he can stay here.' she whispered calmingly, as she shot me an apologetic look. I nodded slightly and moved out of the way to let them past.

I watched the group retreat, cursing myself as they went, before heading into the Gryffindor common room to wait.

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><p>About an hour and a half later Lily came through the door with Louis and Ollie in tow. I stood and before anyone else had a chance to speak I asked, 'How is Hope?' as I felt my fear getting the better of me…she should surely have come back with the others?<p>

'What the HELL did you do to her?' Ollie demanded as he moved forward as though to challenge me.

'Ollie' Lily said calmly, 'I think you should go to your room with Louis and I'll deal with James.'

He looked as her as if she'd grown two heads at first, but luckily Lily can be quite stubborn when she wants to be and managed to outstare him.

'Fine.' He muttered as he turned and stomped upstairs angrily with Louis running behind him.

The minute they were gone Lily turned around to speak to me. I was completely prepared for her anger, so I was surprised when she smiled kindly at me and put a comforting arm on my shoulder.

'Hope is fine, Madame P gave her some kind of anti-anxiety draught and is going to keep her in overnight just to be safe, but she is going to be fine James I promise. I know something big happened between you two to make her act like that and there is absolutely no need for you to tell me, but I know you and I know you'll be secretly beating yourself up…so rather than yell at you I want you to know I'm here for you if you need me. I know Hope means a lot to you and I know she cares for you too, so I have every faith you'll work it out.'

'I dunno Lils, I've really messed up.' I said as I ran my hands over my face.

'I'm sure it isn't that bad, and I am here whenever you need me.' She said as she came forward and hugged me.

'Thanks Lil.'

'Do you want me to stay up with you?' she offered, even though I could tell she was tired.

'No I am fine, honestly.' I said, knowing the second she left I was going to go and get the invisibility cloak and sneak out to try and speak to Hope again.

'Ok well speak to you tomorrow.' She said as she leaned over and kissed me on the cheek before heading into the second year girls dormitory.

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><p>It took all of five minutes from Lily leaving for me to get outside the hospital wing. I had wasted no time in running up to my dorm, grabbing the cloak, throwing it over me and going straight to the hospital wing – sprinting the whole way there. Now I was outside though I was nervous. I knew Hope probably still wouldn't want to speak to me, but I had to try. I needed her in my life.<p>

I walked softly into the hospital wing, thankful that I'd had the presence of mind to check the Marauders map before entering so I could make sure there was no one else in the hospital wing, and to reassure myself that Madame Pomfrey was busy in the back and would not come and disturb us.

After I entered I spotted Hope in a bed at the far corner of the room. She was staring out of the window with a hollow look in her eyes and even from the end of the room I could see tear marks on her face. It broke my heart to know I'd done this to her.

I pulled the cloak off and walked softy up to her. Although she didn't turn around I think she sensed my presence, as her body became visibly more ridged and her hands clenched together.

'Hope' I said tentatively.

'What do you want James?' she asked with no emotion in her voice whatsoever.

'To talk.' I answered simply.

'Is there really anything to say James?' she asked in the same deadpan tone. This lack of emotion was nearly as bad as her slap and the way she flinched away from me earlier.

'Yes there is Hope. I need to explain my actions, I owe you that much!' I cried desperately.

She turned to look at me then and my heart ached painfully in my chest as I saw the inner pain she was struggling with shining clearly through her eyes. Then she asked softly, 'What can you say James? What excuse is there? You had me believing you could really care for someone like me…someone smart, someone with less going for her in the looks department than perhaps most…you make me confused and you made me believe perhaps there was something there, something between us. I even let you kiss me and I kissed you back…and I'm not saying that was all you it wasn't, I have a boyfriend, or had I'm not sure what's going on at this moment but the thing is…I'm the cheater. But I was the one that went to seek you out and to suggest we talk about all of this like adults – but what do you do? You go and sleep with one of my best friends. I've never felt so cheap…tell me what kind of excuse is there for that kind of betrayal?'

I could tell she was finding it hard to keep it together, but she was clearly drawing on all her Gryffindor courage to keep from crying in front of me. Looking at her and listening to her speak I could actually feel the tears prickling behind my own eyes. I hadn't cried in years, but right now I felt as though I could cry. Hearing first-hand how I'd hurt her, and hearing how she really did care for me and wanted to talk to me about it properly…and then knowing that I'd betrayed her by sleeping with Mia when she was willing to be so vulnerable – it broke me in a way I'd never known.

'Please Hope, please do not feel cheap – you are anything but cheap! And don't think I don't care, because I do…so much. I was just jealous of you and Michael, I saw you together and I just assumed…Merlin I don't know what I assumed but I was angry and I drunk and then Mia was there and she got drunk with me…then it just happened. I was angry and drunk and bitter – but I didn't mean to hurt you, that was the last thing I would ever want to do.' I said as I reached for her hand.

'But you did.' She said as she moved her hand away before I could touch her, 'you did something you knew would hurt me…and you said yourself you were angry and bitter. Are you sure you weren't trying to get back at me some way? How could I have been so wrong about you…about everything? The James I thought I knew doesn't exist.'

After she finished speaking she turned away from me and let out a choking sob before adding, 'And I am sorry because I lied this morning when I said I could never hate you, because now I know I can…and I hate myself for caring that much.'

'Hope…' I said desperately as I felt the tears start to fall, 'Please…'

'Just go James, please. I can't be around you now.' She said as she cried into her pillow and avoided looking at me.

'Ok' I said in defeat, 'but please Hope know I won't give up on you, never. I can't live without you in my life…I need you.'

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><p>I left the hospital wing and headed outside. I needed some fresh air and I needed to think. I found myself by the lake when the bitterness started to soak in. I thought about what I'd done and about how close I might have come to having Hope as something more than a friend and then I thought of the way I'd hurt her. I thought about her words, and how she now knew she hated me and then my rage overtook me. I punched a nearby tree before collapsing in a heap underneath it – allowing myself to feel all my self-loathing and not even attempting to keep the tears in.<p>

I don't know how long I was there before I became aware that someone was next to me muttering a healing spell over my hand. I looked up to see Sky smiling at me.

'I've really messed up.' I said

'I know, but everything will be alright.' She answered simply.

'How do you know?' I questioned

'I was supposed to meet Hope at the astronomy tower but I ran into Mia instead. I convinced her to let you go after Hope, but I didn't tell her about the two of you though.'

'So you know…about everything including me and Hope?' I asked, not particularly surprised.

She smiled and nodded, 'Yep I know everything. Hope came to me after she kissed you and got a bit too heated with Michael. I don't think she was really ready for everything that happened between her and Michael – I think she was just emotional over everything. She was really confused and upset when she came to me – but one thing was clear, she cares for you James, a lot. Then Mia filled me in on tonight's events…not that I couldn't have worked that out for myself!'

'I've really messed up. Hope hates me and I can't even say I blame her.' I said dejected.

Sky however took my hand and squeezed it before saying 'Nonsense Hope cares too much about you to hate you. She's just hurting but I have faith that in time you and her will be just fine.'

'You do?' I asked, not quite believing it.

'Yes' Sky said in utter confidence; putter her arm around me and sending me one of her freakish all-knowing looks before adding, 'In fact you'll be more than just fine, I can just feel it.'


	21. Chapter 21

**Thanks for the reviews guys. I know you're all really annoyed that people were nice to James in the last chapter, and I am actually really glad of the critical nature of some of your comments because they acually help me know what you think - and ultimately without that how can i carry on writing a story you enjoy? So I really am grateful. **

**I'll address some of the points now though just so you have an idea of where I am coming from.**

**In terms of people being nice to James last chapter:**

**Lily didn't know what had happened and she's his little sister, she loves him and looks up to him therefore without a proper reason to doubt him her mind would not jump to utter betrayal.**

**Sky just isn't wired like everyone else. I'm not saying she thinks what he did was right, but she also hates to see anyone hurting and tries to piece everyone back together again (it is just what she does) and as a result she wasn't going to automatically scold James when he was already punishing himself.**

**I hope you all noticed that Hope was not, she pretty much said she hated him - and I hope like me you all found that completely reasonable.**

**And I agree I don't won't Hope with James as he is right now, nor is it going to be forgotten on a whim…he did a horrible thing and he hurt Hope, as did Mia, and there relationships aren't going to ping back straight away nor are there not going to be reoccurring issues from this for Hope and James throughout, even when they get together. Rest assured I have it all in my head and it happened for a reason. Some other things are going to happen over the next few chapters to sort through the rifts. The way I see it is there are two James' at play – the self-centred idiot who likes to get his own way and the caring brother and friend, and it is about him ultimately working out who he is just as much as anything else. Along with that it is also about Hope growing into her own also. You have to remember they are 15 and ultimately still working out who they are.**

**And while I agree with people's opinions that Mia's hurt Hope, I also think it is important to note that Mia doesn't actually know the whole story…and as a result I think Hope's actions towards Mia are also a little harsh. Nothing is completely black and white and her actions can't be seen in the same light as James'. **

**I hope that clears up a bit from my end and I hope you enjoy this chapter and you carry on sticking with this story. **

**Be warned this chapter is full of angst, but I love the moments with Hope and Albus!**

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine.**

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><p><strong>Hope's POV<strong>

I was released from the hospital wing the following morning. Michael had come to find me almost immediately; I hadn't even made it half way to Gryffindor before he was there. He said he'd come to apologise for the following evening and to make sure I was ok because he was really worried after he heard rumours I was sick.

As I'd listened to him I had felt myself becoming more aggravated, he kept talking about how upset _he _was about the events of last night. Were all the men in my life bar my dad and Ollie this self-centred? Michael just kept droning on and on about how distraught he was about everything. Seriously he and James should start an 'I'm a selfish dickhead' club.

'Do you really think after your behaviour yesterday a simple I'm sorry and I was worried was going to make everything ok?' I asked.

Michael looked at me perplexed, clearly not expecting this reaction. What did he think, that after he had been so cruel I would just throw my arms around him and say all was forgiven?

'Besides, even before you acted like such a prick I wasn't sure we should really stay together….I kissed James on Friday night, and I think at the time I really wanted it to happen – more fool me, it turns out he's more of an arse than you. But that was what I wanted to speak to you about last night before you acted like such an arrogant brat…so the fact that I was thinking about James must mean something between us wasn't right on some level.' I carried on.

Michael looked a little enraged at first, before saying 'So you kissed James…I don't care, I forgive you Hope you don't need to worry about that. We can still be together.'

Seriously did he listen to anything that was being said to him?

'No Michael' I said through gritted teeth, 'You don't get it do you? While I appreciate the fact that you forgive me it doesn't mean I can just forget about how you treated me last night…it doesn't mean I think we have a future together.'

'Do you want to be _with him_ then?' Michael spat out.

'No' I answered without even giving the answer a second thought. After James had slept with Mia I could never imagine ever wanting to speak to him again, let alone have a relationship with him. 'The last person I would want to be with right now is James…he's the last person I'd trust with anything let alone my heart…I just don't want to be with you either right now. I think I just need to be alone for a little while.' I said as I hugged myself. I was desperate to get away and hide in my room until classes started tomorrow…

'Ok I can give you space, but I won't give up on us Hope. I'll prove to you that I'm the man for you.' He said with utter confidence.

I rolled my eyes, this sounded an awful lot like James' statement last night, 'Honesty Michael save your efforts for someone who'll fall for it because I'm over it. You and James can both rot in hell together for all I care right now.'

And with that I pushed past him and headed to Gryffindor and to my bed, where I stayed until it was time to go to Potions class on Monday morning.

I was dreading potions as it was one of the few lessons I shared with both Mia and James. In fact usually Mia would be my potions partner and we'd sit there rolling our eyes at James and Fred's antics a couple of tables away.

When I arrived at the dungeons for potions Mia was already seated at our usual table, but I noticed that in the corner there was still a seat next to Pippa Lowery, another Hufflepuff student and I made a bee line for it. Pippa was delighted at this unexpected turn of events, but my decision to change seats didn't go unnoticed by the rest of the class and I could hear the whispering happening around me.

I tried my best to focus on my work and to throw myself into the practical potions work we had to do, but no matter how much I tried to switch off I could not ignore the glances Mia and James both kept throwing me across the class room. Nor could I avoid noticing how confused Fred looked at this change of events.

The second potions was over I grabbed my stuff and tried to escape as fast as I could before anyone tried to speak to me. Unfortunately I wasn't fast enough and half way down the corridor Mia caught up with me.

'Hope please stop…' she begged

'How could you' I said turning around and feeling my temper rise, 'of all the people in the school how could you sleep with James?'

Mia looked utterly perplexed at my question, 'Hope…I don't understand why you're this upset. I know you are friends with James but it isn't like I came on to Michael or Ollie, I just don't get it. Unless…do you have feelings for James?'

I was so confused about everything. I knew that Mia hadn't known about the kiss with James or about my feeling, but still I couldn't get past it, especially since she'd always been the one suggesting there was something more between me and James. But even if nothing had happened between James and I, there are still lines Mia should know not to cross – and sleeping with friends was one of those lines.

'How I do or don't feel about James isn't the issue here.' I shot back defensively, 'The issue here is you Mia and how you act. How many times have I defend you to other people? I know you have a difficult home life and I've always made excuses for you…but there are lines Mia! And there are people I thought you wouldn't touch because our friendship meant more to you. I guess I was wrong.'

'No Hope you weren't. I love you, you know that, you've always been there for me…but I was drunk and I didn't think -'

'That's just it, you didn't think! Neither of you did and I am so sick of being around people who don't think. I make excuses for the two of you all the time and I forgive you over and over – I mean how many times have I forgiven James for acting like an idiot? How many times have I covered for you when you've almost been caught with a boy? I can't keep doing this…it is breaking me.' As I finished I could feel my chest tightening again and I had to remind myself to breath.

'Hope what are you saying? You can't mean that after five years this is it?'

'I just can't see how we'd ever get past this…maybe in time it will get easier, but I don't know if we'll ever be like we were before.'

And with that I turned around and sprinted to the security and familiarity of the library, which is where I stayed. Usually I wouldn't skip lessons, but in that instance I just couldn't face going to them.

I'm not sure how long I stayed there before Roxy sat down next to me, put her arm around me and pulled me tightly into a hug. 'Hey stranger' she said softly, 'I've been worried about you…'

'Sorry' I mumbled.

'Have you eaten at all since Saturday…I haven't seen you at any meals.' She pressed

I shrugged. In truth I hadn't eaten since Saturday evening, but I didn't really feel hungry. I didn't feel anything but numb.

'Right well I want you to eat this.' She said as she passed a sandwich into my hand, which I started eating dutifully. I didn't really want it, but I could tell by Roxy's facial expression that if I tried to refuse she'd be a force to be reckoned with, and it was a lot easier to eat it than to fight against her.

After a few more minute in silence she said, 'Ollie is worried about you…and so am I. There are a lot of rumours going round about you and Michael breaking up and some about James somehow being involved, and Fred told me you chose to sit away from Mia in potions this morning and then you've been AWOL since….and it is not like you to skip lessons, so I can't help thinking all this is connected you see.'

'You have any other wise observations?' I asked deadpan.

'Well Lily and Ollie both described how they found you with James having a panic attack on Saturday night and how you didn't want him around you…which led me to make a few guess about what could be wrong. I was pretty close with some of them, but I never would have imagined Mia…' she trailed off as she squeezed me close and wiped away a tear I hadn't noticed was falling, 'So I am guessing I am right…something happened between you and James and then something happened between him and Mia?'

'You could put it that way. Throw in Michael trying to get more heavy than I wanted too on Saturday night as well and then acting like a totally unreasonable idiot when I stopped him and you've pretty much got the whole picture.' I choked out.

'Michael did what? That selfish idiot…I'll bloody kill him…and James…how could he…he's always thought about himself first and tends to act in whatever way pleases him and then think about the consequences later, but I honestly thought where you were concerned he'd changed – and Mia, she at least seemed to put her friends first when it came to boys…I'm seriously tempted to go and give them all a piece of my mind.' Roxy stated angrily.

'To be fair, Mia didn't know about everything…and you know her family are muggles and less than thrilled with her being here, this is just one of her unhealthy ways of trying to deal with that.'

'Don't do that Hope, don't you dare try and defend them. I'm so tempted to go and kick James' arse myself, family or no family.'

'Don't, it isn't worth it…I don't want everyone to make a huge deal about this, I just want to forget about it all.'

'Ok…if you are sure. But I'm not about to act like I think everything they've done is alright…' she said as she kissed my forehead.

'Thanks Rox…what would I do without you?' I said

'You'd do just fine, but I'm not sure I'd have stayed sane with my wacky family without you all these years.' She said as she shoulder bumped me and brought me back into her comforting embrace.

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><p>Four weeks later and I was still sitting with Pippa in potions. At first she had been very guarded and shy but she turned out to be lovely. I felt bad because the more I got to know her the more I began to realise that a select group of people were cruel to her, mainly because she was short and a little plump. The main culprit was Violet De Champ and her Slytherin cronies…I guess I shouldn't have been surprised that Violet was a bit of a bully – she'd always been bitchy towards me, but I'd just put it down to the fact she was seeing James.<p>

I think nearly everyone had now guessed or heard rumours about why exactly there was a rift between Mia, James and I. I wasn't entirely sure how everyone was reacting to the news though because I had tried to avoid everyone as best as possible. I knew Roxy had been very forthcoming towards James about how she felt about it, and she'd mentioned something about Dominique telling James how disappointed she'd been. But apart from that I didn't know much else. Fred said he missed me in lessons the other day, but I was becoming so withdrawn from everything and everyone that I was losing touch with everything around me.

I was also still hiding out in the library whenever I had any free time in order to avoid James and Mia. Roxy, who had stayed fiercely loyal towards me throughout everything now spent a considerable amount of time there with me…In fact I am pretty sure in the last four weeks she had choked up more time in there with me than she had done for the whole of her four years at Hogwarts. She'd usually manage between four or five hours in the evening in there with me before she'd say, 'Hope I love you but this place is starting to wig me out a little. I'll see you in the morning.' Then she'd always lean over kiss me on the head and flounce out of the room.

Occasionally Sky would join me, but our relationships was a little tense now too. The week after I'd found James and Mia she had taken me aside outside of one of our lessons and tried to reason with me that I should try and talk things out with Mia at least. She had pointed out that Mia hadn't known about James and I and therefore although she could understand why I was upset it wasn't as if Mia had purposefully made a decision to hurt me. Deep down I knew this was right, and I knew Sky was just trying to fix everything like she always did…but I just wasn't ready to hear it.

My relationship with Sky was also tense due to her neutral behaviour towards everyone involved. Her clear head and her firm stance of not taking side was one of the things I have always loved and respected about her. But when it came to this situation, it was very much a testament to our relationship that I could understand why she wasn't offering the same kind of silent treatment towards James as Roxy an Ollie were – both of whom pretty much chased him off whenever he came anywhere near me.

And as for Ollie, he put in the most effort to be with me. He was more protective than even I could have previously imagined. After the first week of me being discharged from the hospital wing both he and Roxy had been extremely worried about me and had pushed me to consider going home for the Easter weekend the following weekend. I had been reluctant at first, pointing out I still had responsibilities such as prefect duty and quidditch practice.

'Actually Dom said she'd be happy to swap your prefect shifts around…this whole thing was her idea. She is really worried about you – like Ollie and I she has noticed your lack of presence at meal times and she's pointed out how much paler you're looking…she thought maybe time at home with your parents might help.' Roxy had coaxed.

'Yep and I think if you go and explain to Professor Sprout then she is bound to let you go home for the four days, and the quidditch team will survive a postponed training for one weekend. Not to mention mum and dad would want you to go home and take some time to clear your head and get better. Please Hope, it is better than killing yourself by working all hours in the library and only eating what we sneak for you.' Ollie said pleadingly.

In the end their arguments had worked and I'd gone to see Headmistress Sprout to ask if I could arrange to go home for the weekend. She had been incredibly kind to me, but she too had said how worried she was by my appearance. It also appeared that Madame Pince had mentioned to her my unusual amount of hours in the library – add that to my panic attack the week before and she stated it was no wonder my friends and family seemed so worried about me, and as a result she had granted me permission to leave.

I was on my way to the door before she asked, 'Miss Wood…I would not want to pry into any of your personal business, but I can't help wondering if your need to go home is in any way linked to Mr Potter's decision to resign as co-captain on the quidditch team.'

I had turned around utterly shocked at this revelation and asked, 'James has given up the co-captaincy position?'

'Yes, no matter how much Professor Longbottom or I tried to discourage him from making such as rash decision he would not be budged, I assumed as his co-captain he would have discussed such a decision with you. Evidently not. Look Miss Wood, I do not know what has happened between the two of you or how it involves Mia Lucas, but I've lived long enough to know that holding onto bitterness can destroy ones soul – and that sometimes you can be surprised that you can forgive even the biggest offenses. Although healing can take time obviously, try not to let whatever has happened destroy you or destroy forever your relationships. Remember that love is the key to the most powerful magic and to defeating evil…don't lose sight of that so much that the bitterness becomes too much and you forget what love is – or what a wonderful magical force love and forgiveness really are.'

Although she had spoken these words to me kindly, I couldn't help feeling resentful towards the implications they had on me. I'd just nodded and walked straight out of the door muttering to myself that she was wrong. Although somewhere in the back of my mind I couldn't help wondering how many good wizards and witches turned to the dark arts because they became bitter towards someone and revenge seemed easier or more appropriate than forgiveness.

Later on that night I spoke to James in order to ask about his decision to resign as co-captain, it was the first time since he'd come to the hospital wing that we had spoken. It had been two weeks and the wounds were just as raw and open when I saw him then as they had been that night. As a result all ideas of forgiveness flew out of the window. Whether forgiveness was the key to healing those wounds I didn't know, all I did know was right then I wasn't strong enough to say I could forgive him.

When I challenged him as to his reasons for resigning he merely replied, 'I didn't want to cause you more pain. I'm willing to wait forever for you to forgive me, but I don't want to make this harder for you Hope…and to be honest the captaincy should have been yours from the very beginning. I know you'll do a fantastic job, and if the day comes when you want me as your co-captain again all you have to do is ask and I'll come running. But I know this all has to come from you in your own time.'

I've never thought that the captaincy should have been all mine, in fact I've always thought since the very first day at try outs this year that it was secretly a genius idea of Neville's to give it to both of us…but I was too hurt to state that, all I could reply with was, 'yeah well don't think this changes anything Potter and don't hold your breath for me wanting you back as co-captain or for me forgiving you, because neither is going to happen.'

And that was the last time I'd spoken to him. I went home for the Easter weekend and unsuccessfully tried to forget about everything, came back to school and carried on as I had done before I'd gone home.

I know it is selfish, and I know Roxy and Ollie in particular are worried about me. But something in me is broken and I've not been able to repair it and I can't bring myself to do the normal things I used to do, like eat or sleep.

So here I am on a Sunday and I've been in the Library since it opened at 8am, it's now 8pm and Roxy and Rose, who'd been working on their latest Herbology paper all afternoon left me about half an hour ago. Now it was just me and Madame Pince and I knew she was worried about me. She kept watching me like a hawk, and occasionally she offered me some ginger nuts, a big step for her as it went against her strict 'no food in the library' stance, but with every offer I had politely declined them. I knew she must have been really worried about me to dream of breaking her food rule, but I just couldn't face food right now. Work that was my tonic…

Suddenly a shadow fell over my books and I looked up and was surprised to see Albus standing there.

'Hey I was supposed to be doing my DADA homework with Scorp but he got detention for duelling with another Slytherin who thought it was funny to pick on some second years. Do you mind if I join you?'

'No of course not.' I said a little startled.

Albus was a really lovely guy, but we never really spent any time alone together so I was a little worried this was going to be awkward. Especially considering I'd been avoiding the majority of his family, particularly his big brother, for the past month. Albus however seemed to be completely at ease. He dropped his bag, got out his DADA book, a scroll and a quill and got to work at once.

After about half an hour I started to realise how nice it was to have Albus here. Madame Pince stayed away from my table when there was someone else with me, but unlike when Roxy, Ollie, Dom, Sky or any of the other group was here I didn't feel like I was being babysat. I knew they all meant well, but it was really distracting when someone was constantly pretending to read but really peering over at you looking at your face for any sign that you might break at any second.

'What you working on?' he asked as he stretched out his hands after 45 minutes of writing.

'Advanced muggles paper for extra credit. I want to do a non-magical muggle year through the ministry after school but to get on the programme you have to have crap loads of knowledge and extra work to your name.' I replied not taking my eyes of my paper.

'Oh cool….what is it on?'

'Muggles World Wars' I answered.

'Wow that sounds like a hoot!' he said chuckling.

'Oh you bet you.' I said laughing too.

'Well I never…Hope Wood laughing, I was starting to think I'd never see it again.' He teased.

I looked up then. I was weary all of a sudden that this conversation was going to go somewhere I didn't want it too. I didn't want Albus to bring up James and I didn't want to feel like he was only here because it was his turn to watch me.

'Look I'm not here to babysit you.' He started, as if he read my mind, 'But for my own interest I wondered how you were? No offense Wood but you look like shit…when did you last eat?'

'I don't know…probably midday yesterday' I answered truthfully, before adding 'but I am fine Al honestly. Everyone keeps worrying about me and watching me and honestly I don't need it. I'm hurting, I won't lie about that, but I'm resourceful and I'll bounce back. After all there worse things that can happen to a girl than a broken heart, if this is what it even is...because to be honest with you I'm not really sure what it is.'

He smiled at me then and said, 'I know you might not want to hear this but you look like about as good as James does right now …'

Something in me was telling me not to ask my next question, not to open up the wounds that had been slowly healing, but I just couldn't help myself, 'How is he? I mean really? Is he doing ok…? He gave up captaincy of the team and he's become really withdrawn in class…he's just not acting like himself, from what I can tell. I mean when was the last time him and Fred even got into any trouble or pulled any pranks? I know I shouldn't care but I can't help it.'

Albus looked at me with such sympathy and respect that I had to look away just from sheer embarrassment.

'He's doing ok' he finally said, 'He misses you and he misses leading the team I think….but in all honesty I haven't really talked to him about it that much. He did a really jackass thing and he knows it, and in case he didn't I've told him so on several occasions and so have other members of my family and that is where I wanted to leave it….it isn't my mess to clear up and nothing I do is going to change it, and I'm certainly not the one who's going to give him sympathy, James has to change his behaviour himself and I think he's actually starting to realise that. I think maybe he's just finally learning what it feels like to live with the consequences of his actions….my brother is a good guy Hope, deep down. He's just gotten too use to being the selfish pampered Potter boy that he kind of forgot what happens when you don't think about what you're doing and the other people involved and how what you're doing effects the people you care about. And I think finally this has opened his eyes up and he's finally starting to see that he has to take responsibility for how he acts and what he has done.'

I wasn't sure I really understood what Al was talking about, so I sent him a watery smile and dived back into my work, hoping to get most of my essay done in the last half an hour.

Finally five minutes before curfew I stood up and stretched, packed my books back into my bag and turned to Albus, 'I'm heading up to Gryffindor…you coming?'

'Nah I'm on a roll I'm going to stay here until the library Nazi over there throws me out.' He answered without looking up.

'Bye then.' I said as cheerily as I could manage.

'Yeah bye Hope…oh and Hope?'

'Yes' I asked as I reached the door, turning around to see what he wanted.

'Look after yourself…and know that in your own time you'll get past this, it really isn't worth killing yourself over.' He said smiling.

'Will do.' I said as I opened the door and walked out.

The walk back up to Gryffindor was a quiet one, most the students were obviously already tucked up in their respective houses. I still wasn't surprised however to come face to face with Michael outside of the portrait leading into my common room.

'Urgh will you ever stop doing this Michael. How many times do I have to tell you this isn't going to work?' I asked, as he once again held out another bunch of roses for me.

This had been happening every night for the last three weeks. And no matter how much I protested he kept coming back.

'I won't stop until you agree to give us another try.'

'Do you have any idea how creepy this is? Can't you just find someone else? You're a nice enough guy when you're not being an ass and you're good looking…plenty of girls that aren't me would be happy to have you.' I said.

'Exactly, they aren't you. I love you Hope and I won't stop until I've won you back.'

I pushed past him, once again ignoring the flowers in his hand and muttered the password to the Fat Lady and once again she laughed her head off at this ridiculous display.

'oh dear I don't know why you don't just take the flowers…that boy will not be defeated.' She said, clearly amused by this regular and obsessive predicament.

I rolled my eyes at her and turned to Michael, 'For the last time I am not some prize to be won. Please, please just leave me alone.'

And with that I flounced into the common room. I could just tell right away that James was there, it was like some kind of radar went off inside me whenever he was around and even though I didn't want it to my heart spend up and my breathing hitched. This was silly, how could he still have this effect on me even after everything?

I tried to ignore the magnetic pull his presence had on my eyes, but I couldn't stop myself from looking into the right hand corner of the room where he was sat at the table writing something….homework probably, but this was James so who knows? For a second our eyes met and I could feel a conflict of emotions within my chest…our eyes stayed locked on each other for about twenty seconds, before I pulled my gaze away and ran up to my room without looking back.


	22. Chapter 22

**Hi guys**

**Sorry for the long wait for the upload, my muse was missing and then I was incredibly busy. I hope the next chapter is up a lot faster, but I can't guarentee anything at this stage.**

**A big thank you to everyone who has stuck with this story so far though, won't be long until the good stuff**

**I'm not 100% happy with this chapter, a lot of it is content I needed to get from A to B.**

**Anyway enjoy reading and please drop me a review, they keep me going!**

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><p>Two nights later Michael changed tactics. Rather than waiting outside of the common room he waited for me on my walk back from the library, half way between there and Gryffindor. I groaned when I saw him standing there in the middle of a deserted corridor.<p>

Of all the nights to try and change tactics I just wasn't in the mood today. I'd been unable to sleep for the last few nights and it was taking its toll on me, I hadn't eaten since lunch yesterday, I'd just spent the last few hours grappling with a very difficult Charms homework assignment, and to top it all I'd had a bitch of a prefect duty earlier – being forced to give detention to Violet De Champ when I caught her picking on a couple of first years. She had been livid with me, accusing me of always going out of my way to put myself in the middle of her business and ruining her personal life…she'd even threatened that I would be sorry. Not that she scared me. If I ever had too I could take her, she is all talk. But after such a lousy day all I wanted to do was crawl into my bed, I did not want to deal with Michael – especially when he was changing tactics.

'Hope' he said, blocking my path as I tried to get past him, 'please talk to me.'

I rolled my eyes and spoke through gritted teeth, 'I do speak to you every night Michael when I tell you to please, please just _go away…_I am really not in the mood for this tonight Michael so just go.'

I tried to step round him put he put his arm out, touching my shoulder to stop me.

'Don't touch me' I snarled pulling my arm back and pushing round him.

Once again he grabbed my arm, stopping me from walking away from him and spinning me round to face him.

'_Please_ Hope' he begged, 'Just speak to me or take the flowers.'

'Owe Michael you're hurting me.' I lied, trying to get away as quickly as I could. His grip loosened a little but still not enough for me to be able to wiggle free.

'Hope just five minutes please.'

'Let me go, please.'

'Hope I ju-'

'I think she asked you to let her go, if I was in your shoes I would do as she requested.' An all too familiar voice cut across Michael.

Great, the only way to make this situation worse is to throw _him_ into it.

Michael snorted and responded coolly, 'What is that supposed to be some kind of threat? Do you think you frighten me_ Potter_?' he spat, although I noted he let go of my arm and his brow had creased wearily.

James laughed heartily and said, 'No, I don't think I have any reason to frighten you. I was thinking more of Wood's ability to take you…she has a mean right hook on her, trust me I've received it – I know.'

Michael spluttered but clearly didn't know what to say to this. Finally he turned to me and said 'Ok I'll see if you're feeling more in the mood for talking tomorrow Hope.'

'Don't count on it.' I said as James flounced past him, shooting me a timid look as he came up and stood just past me.

'Well Michael it's been horrendous as always but curfew is any minute now and it really wouldn't do for two prefects to be found wandering the halls after hours would it?' James said coolly.

Michael narrowed his eyes at James, but nevertheless turned on his heel and stormed off down the hallway.

'Thanks' I mumbled at Potter, as much as I hated to admit it he'd earned some recognition of his effort to get Michael away. Eventually I'd have been able to get away from Michael on my own, but without James' interruption I knew it would have taken much longer than I wanted tonight.

'Sure thing' he said, smiling shyly at me in a completely un-Potter like manner.

We started walking towards Gryffindor in silence. I wasn't particularly comfortable walking with him, but since he was making no move to speak to me or touch me, and since Michael might just decide to appear again at any moment I decided to at least do the civil thing.

Occasionally I would steal a glance at Potter as we walked along. Every now and then I could swear he'd been looking at me and was trying to hide it, but then a small part of me thought I might just be seeing what I wanted too. From my occasional sideways glances I managed to deduce that he had obviously been out exercising. He was in a tracksuit, looking dishevelled and sweaty but somehow incredibly sexy. I cursed my stupid hormones for causing my heart to speed up and making my palms sweat in appreciation at this man who had broken all my trust in him.

I also noticed that he had his broom tucked under one arm, this spiked my interest deep down about whether he missed being co-captain of the quidditch team. I opened my mouth to ask him about it, but I just couldn't bring myself to open up that kind of dialogue right now…I wasn't ready.

As we reached Gryffindor James muttered the password and we both walked through. As we came into the common room James looked up at me briefly and smiled, before looking back down again staring at his hands.

What was this, was he nervous?

The great James Sirius Potter actually not having some great come back to an awkward situation?

Well I wasn't about to hang around and help him out, I was just planning on escaping to my room without saying anything so you can imagine my surprise – and that of Potter's – when I found myself muttering goodnight to him.

I hadn't intended too, and I hadn't consciously realised I was doing so – my mouth just worked on its own accord, and the second it escaped my lips I wished it hadn't. James however wasted no time in raising his head and locking his surprised eyes with mine. This close I was able to note for the first time since that horrible night the change that had occurred in them. Where there used to be arrogance, humour and mischief, now I could only see pain, doubt and self-loathing. It shocked me.

'Hope please stop doing this to yourself.' He whispered.

'Doing what?' I asked defensively.

Curse my stupid mouth, why did I speak? Why didn't I just escape!

'Not eating, not sleeping, working yourself to death…I'm not worth it. If you don't want to see me fine, I'll eat somewhere else during meal times. But please, it is killing me to see you like this…you're so much better than this, better than me…' he trailed off, his eyes blazing into mine with a desperate pleading.

'James' I said, trying to steel myself against the sudden onslaught of emotions I was feeling, 'I'm fine honestly, I just have a lot of work to do…' I trailed off knowing how unconvincing I sounded.

We looked at each other for another couple of seconds, he was clearly deliberating whether he dared to push the issue some more – but in the end he opted to let the matter rest.

'Look I am tired and I'm going to go to bed, to sleep like you requested. Goodnight, and thank you again for helping with Michael….but you know this doesn't change anything between us right?' I said

'Yes Hope I know. I did something unforgivable…I didn't act like that tonight because I thought it would get me into your good graces. I did it because it was the right thing to do and I would do it for any girl I found being hassled by a guy they'd already asked to leave them alone…the fact that I care about you just meant I was more personally effected by it…'

I looked at him and nodded in recognition, not really knowing what to say to his declaration of caring about me.

'Goodnight Hope, try and get some sleep' he said kindly as he smiled at me, although his eyes stayed as hollow and tortured as they were, before he turned and headed into his dorm.

I made my way up to my room, thankful all my roommates were already asleep so I didn't have to endure their all so obvious stage whispers about my current situation with James, Mia and Michael.

As I climbed into bed I started to assess the small part of me that still felt tingles when I was around James….that small voice in my head screaming at me to just forgive him and Mia already. As always this voice lost out to the louder voice that just repeated 'No, no, no, no, NO, NO, NO' at me.

Tonight however I couldn't help thinking of what Headmistress Sprout had said about love being the most powerful form of magic…and forgiveness being a key to unlocking that powerful magic.

Could I forgive Mia?

That one was easy, yes I could…eventually. Things might not be like they were before but Mia definitely deserved forgiveness. She hadn't know the full story and although a small part of me wanted to think that wouldn't have made a difference, deep down I think it would have. But the trouble was I just didn't know where to start when it came to forgiving her – whenever I saw her my mind just flashed back to seeing her and James going at it on that desk…her bobbing up and down madly on top of him…

NO Hope DON'T, do not relive those images again I scolded myself as I felt the bile start to rise in my throat.

Ok so maybe sometime in the near future Mia and I could recapture some kind of friendship…but what about James….

Part of me wanted to forgive him. I couldn't deny that…part of me even desperately wanted to throw myself at him and to ask him to kiss away all of those awful memories. But I knew that wasn't going to be an option – aside from the fact that I was still angry and hurting over it, with everything that had happened I was now painfully aware of the different leagues were in. James was experienced, very experienced, he could pretty much have every girl in the castle and in many cases had done so, he was cocky, arrogant, self-assured and everything I felt I wasn't…

As far as forgiveness went, I wanted to forgive him – I just didn't know how, and I was so worried I'd get hurt again. Because as painful as it was to admit, over the last couple of weeks I'd been trying to access my feelings to work out exactly why it hurt this much, and the truth had been glaringly obvious and painfully harsh. The simple truth was that night I caught him and Mia I'd also been in the process of falling in love with him, and now I didn't know what made me more angry at him – the fact that he'd managed to make me start to fall for him, or the fact he'd had no regard for that fact when he slept with Mia…

And with all these jumbled thoughts I slowly drifted off into a restless sleep.

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><p>I came into potions the morning after determined to avoid looking at James and Mia and to just focus on getting through the work. I sat down next to Pippa and smiled broadly at her.<p>

'Good morning' I said

'Hi' Pippa said smiling shyly at me.

I was about to ask her about her evening when a shadow fell over our table, looking up I felt my mouth go dry as I realised James was looming over our table. I was about to open my mouth to ask him to leave, when he spoke first – surprising me by what he had to say.

'Pippa I wanted to check you really are ok…you know, after what happened at breakfast?'

Pippa smiled broadly at him, clearly in awe of him and all his charm.

I narrowed my eyes in concern, 'What happened? Pippa are you ok?'

She looked at me flustered, 'I am fine, honestly Hope it was just a bit of bother with a few Slytherins – but I am ok, James came to my rescue and then took me down to the kitchens for breakfast. I got to meet the house elves. Plus he's promised he's going to do everything he can to stop it happening again, like my own knight in shining armour.' She blushed looking at James, who smiled kindly at her.

'Damn right I'm going to do everything I can, don't let them get you down Pippa – your way better than they are anyway.' He said, flashing his signature smile and nodding kindly at me before going to sit down.

I looked over at his table for a second, trying to process this new information. Then turned and looked at Pippa.

'Ok how about you tell me everything, from the beginning?' I prompted, feeling so out of the loop – really I should stop skipping meal times if this kind of thing is going on and I am missing it.

All throughout our lesson as we worked on our potions Pippa explained the story. Violet De Champ and a few of her friends had cornered Pippa as she went into the Great Hall. She said they'd surrounded her and taunted her, teasing her that she'd never had a boyfriend and no one would ever want her…then they'd said some horrible remarks about her being a virgin and how she was going to die that way.

I'd snorted at this, really the audacity of Violet De Champ to think she has any right to pick on anyone's sexual life or lack thereof, when she's busy spreading it around to any guy that will have her.

However it was obvious this particular taunt had upset Pippa so I briefly put my arm around her, reminding her that it was perfectly ok to be a virgin and there are much more important things in life to focus on rather than boys. She had sniffled a little bit, smiled gratefully at me and then carried on.

She said they then started to fire hexes at her, trying to give her pig's ears and saying it would be a rapid improvement. But that was when James had come along, apparently he'd been furious with Violet and they'd had a blazing row.

'Your name came up…' Pippa said trailing off.

'My name?' I asked startled and perplexed, 'Why? In what context?'

'Violet accused James of becoming soft because of you…she also said he only cared about me because we've become friendly…she told him not to think he's any better than her because he'd be there with her, helping her to taunt me, if he hadn't lost his heart and his head to you.'

'WHAT?' I roared a little more loudly than I meant to, causing heads to turn my way.

'Is everything ok over there Miss Wood?' the professor asked me

'Yes, sorry' I mumbled, bright red and painfully aware that James was watching me like a hawk now from the other side of the room. He was trying to hide it by pretending he was writing notes, but I knew by the way his head was cocked slightly to the left that he was trying to see what was going on.

'What does she mean lost his head and his heart to me? And James maybe a lot of things, but bully and tormentor is not one of them. There is no way on this earth he would ever take part in any taunts at you – and he would have helped you whether you were friends with me or not.' I said feeling slightly defensive for James as I remembered his words about helping any woman in distress last night.

'I know' Pippa answered quickly, 'James said as much when we were having breakfast. He said Violet's been a little unhinged since their break up – and he says she detests you…but I can see why. Oh Hope don't look at me like that, you know she's jealous of you because James prefers you to her…it is true. She was right to say he's given his heart to you. I know you're angry at him right now, and so you should be…but he does care for you. Don't doubt that.'

I was slightly shocked by this outburst from Pippa. Usually she wouldn't be so forthcoming, and until now we've never spoken about James and I – although I suspected like the rest of them she knew quite a bit of the story about why I was now sitting with her.

'Pippa…' I spluttered, starting to protest but I couldn't find the words.

'He spoke about you at breakfast.' She whispered quietly.

'He did?' I asked my heart thumping. I wasn't sure I wanted to hear about this, whether emotionally I could take hearing about this…

'Yes. He asked how you were, said how amazing he thinks you are, how much you seem to genuinely like hanging out with me…he's worried about you as well, about how tired and haggard you look recently.'

'I'm fine.' I protested again, only to be met with Pippa's sceptical look.

Luckily for me she let the matter of my health and well being rest there and proceeded to tell me about the rest of her breakfast in the kitchen with the house elves. As she spoke a part of me felt envious and almost jealous of her. In all our years together at Hogwarts James and Fred have never once taken me to the kitchens – they've always claimed it is a boy's only club for themselves down there. But I scowled at myself for being so self-centred and green-eyed over this…James was just making her feel better, being a nice guy…the guy I thought I was starting to fall for – no don't go there Hope, not now, not in class.

By the time Pippa had finished retelling the story and stuttering over her praise for James the lesson was over. So grabbing my bag I said a rushed goodbye to Pippa and dashed out after James, eager to catch him quickly.

'James' I called as he made his way down the corridor with Fred towards the exit leading them outside towards their Care of Magical Creatures lesson.

He turned, clearly surprised and slightly hopefully to have me calling out his name and chasing after him.

'I'll leave you two alone. See you out there buddy' Fred muttered as he turned and left.

'Hope' James said, smiling tentatively at me.

'Look Pippa spent the whole lesson explaining what happened this morning, thank you. I know you don't know her very well but Pippa is a lovely, lovely girl and she has a pretty hard time of it…especially from Violet. I've tried my best to ease it where I can – but I'm not always there and she refuses to report any of it to a teacher. So really, I am very grateful to you for stepping in and helping her.' I said breathlessly.

He smiled again at me before shrugging, 'No honestly Hope anytime. I couldn't just sit back and watch someone get bullied like that. And you know, it made me see Violet for who she really is…I mean I've been noticing how cruel she can be recently…but today just showed me what a fool I'd been chasing her.'

His eyes caught mine then and I could see such intense emotions running through them, the effect was overwhelming and I had to turn my eyes away from his.

'Yeah you have a habit of chasing people you shouldn't.' I mumbled.

'Tell me about it.' He mumbled back, as he ran his hand through his hair, 'always chase the wrong ones…always mess up with the right one.'

I couldn't help it, my eyes were drawn back to his.

'Hope' he whispered ever so quietly, reaching forward with a hand to touch my arm.

This sudden movement broke the trance I was in and I jumped backwards suddenly, recoiling from his oncoming hand.

'No James please. I can't….please.'

James ran his hand through his hair again, letting out a frustrated sigh and nodded before saying, 'I know, look Hope I have to get to class but I want you to watch your back…Violet's pretty pissed at me over this morning, but more than that she's pretty pissed at you as she thinks it is your fault…that you're the reason I no longer want anything to do with her. I'm not saying she'll hurt you, or that you can't look after yourself…but just watch your back ok?'

'Ok' I agreed.

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><p>Later that evening I was walking back from the library, only to once again have my path blocked. But this time not by Michael, this time by Violet.<p>

The second she came out from the shadows James' voice rang out in my ears telling me to watch my back.

Where is my wand I thought desperately…in my bag…oh crap!

'Well, well, well if it isn't Gryffindor's Miss Perfect Prefect and Quiddtich Captain.' She snarled at me.

'What do you want Violet? I'm tired and I want to go to bed, I do not want to have to deal with deluded Slytherins who have hang ups over the fact that Harry Potter's son prefers me.' I said fiercely, hoping bravado might make this a bit easier.

'Oh please like you're even in the same league as James…the only reason he's interested in you is because he hasn't got into your pants yet. And in case you hadn't noticed he wasted no time in getting into the pants of one of your best friends. No if James has any 'feelings' for you they are probably the result of some twisted love potion you've slipped him.'

'Really if this is the best you can do then I am disappointed. Now if you'll excuse me I am tired and I am going to bed.'

I made to push past her, but as I did so she suddenly grabbed my hair, span me and shoved – hard. I went whizzing forward, hitting my leg hard on the floor as I landed by the staircase on the right hand side.

'You little bitch I am going to make you pay so much for the way you've been interfering in my life' she spat at me.

'What's going on here?' A small and fearful, but yet determined voice came from behind me.

'Oh well if it isn't the little Miss Lucas…how cute. Now there are two of us here who've had James and only one who hasn't – see James wants everyone else but you' Violet said venomously.

Mia to her credit, didn't buckle in fear but raised her wand and said in a cool icy voice, 'I suggest you shut up about issues that do not concern you, move away from my friend and get the hell away from this corridor right now before I ruin that pretty little face of yours.'

'Oh so it is like that, sticking up for the frigid cock-tease who I'm pretty sure doesn't see you as a friend anymore.' Violet said as she moved away from me slowly.

Mia shot her a death glade but moved forward, pushing past her deliberately on the way and offered her hand to help me up.

Taking it gratefully I smiled at her and she pulled me to my knees.

'You ok?' Mia asked concern written all over her face.

'Yes thank you.' I said, looking behind Mia but seeing no trace of Violet now.

'Wanna tell me about it?' She asked softly

'Just Violet being a crazy bitch and thinking I am out to ruin her life. I'm lucky you came along Mia, honestly thank you.'

'Any time Hope, I've always got your back.' She said smiling.

I nodded, 'I'm sorry if I've seemed a bit harsh since…you know. I've been thinking we should really talk about it…'

'I'd like that.' She whispered softly.

'How about tomorrow by the old oak tree after classes finish?' I prompted

'Yes that is perfect.'

We stared at each other for a couple of seconds, smiling. Before Mia pointed out it was late and she should be getting to her dorm. We said a quick goodnight and I turned to leave.

Then everything happened so quickly I barely had time to register it. I swear from somewhere I heard the whisperings of a voice, then a piercing scream and Mia was laying at the bottom of the staircase I'd just turned from – blooding pouring from her head.

As if in slow motion I hurried down to her, and Professor Longbottom and Professor Talen, the Slytherin Head of House, appeared out of nowhere along with Headmistress Sprout.

'What happened to her?' Headmistress Sprout asked, as Professor Longbottom rushed to get Madame Pomfrey and Professor Talen fussed trying to stop Mia's bleeding.

'Wood pushed her, they were arguing over the James Potter and she pushed her, I saw her.' Violet screamed from the top of the stairs, as she materialised out of nowhere once again.

What, no, no, no, no that wasn't what happened at all…I felt my blood go cold and all the colour drain from my face as I recalled the whispered voice right before Mia's fall.

This could not be happening, surely she didn't? Did she…?


	23. Chapter 23

**Thank you, thank you, thank you for those of your who have reviewed. **

**You're right, Violet it is a b**** but then what is a story without a baddy? Plus she is essential to help the story keep moving on to where it is going.**

**Any way here is chapter 23, I hope y'all enjoy it, as always please review!**

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><p><strong>Hope's POV<strong>

As Professor Longbottom escorted me back to Gryffindor Tower I could not quite believe this was happening. One of my best friends was currently in a critical but stable condition in the hospital wing and I couldn't go and see her, because I'd been accused of being the one who put her there.

My head ached as I tried to process it all. My mind kept replaying the events…the fight with Violet, Mia rescuing me, the glimmer of hope when I suggested we should talk about everything, her fall, those whispered words and then Violet's accusation.

Of course with such a serious accusation Headmistress Sprout and both Professor Longbottom and Professor Talen as the heads of Gryffindor and Slytherin were forced to take it seriously. They questioned Violet first while I was forced to sit outside the Headmistresses Office, and then they beckoned me in. They asked me to describe what had happened and to give my side of the events. So I did, I told them about my fight with Violet and about what had happened this morning with Pippa and James' warning. I explained in detail the way Violet had grabbed hold of my hair and shoved me forward, even showing my bruised knee as evidence. I then described how Mia had come to my defence – trying to explain Violet's reaction to her sudden appearance without giving away too much about James and Mia's personal lives – and then I said Mia and I had even agreed to meet tomorrow to discuss the issues in our friendship.

When it got to the part involving Mia falling down the stairs and the whispered words Headmistresses Sprout shared a significant look with the two professors.

'And are you sure you heard a voice?' Professor Talen asked, smiling kindly at me.

This helped to calm my thumping heart. Despite being Head of Slytherin Professor Talen had always been a fair man, and among my favourite professors. This gave me confidence – all three of them knew me, surely they'd know that Violet's accusation was completely absurd.

'No I can't be sure…it could have been anything, a ghost, my imagination…' I replied, trailing off.

'Ok Miss Wood.' Headmistress Sprout said, looking calmly but detachedly at me.

Gone was her warmth and her jolly smile, now she was business-like and very formal – it didn't seem right, and it made my nerves come crashing back.

'Miss De Champ has made a very serious allegation against you, having a very differing account of what happened tonight. She claims the bruise on your leg came in a tussle between you and Miss Lucas, and she herself claims she has felt intimidated by you – she claims you have been jealous of her and threatening towards her. In fact according to her, she broke up with Mr Potter at Christmas because you threatened her life if she didn't.' Headmistress Sprout explained.

Wait what? I had no idea why Violet and James had broken up, I just assumed his relationship with her had fizzled out – just like every other girl he'd 'seen'. But for her to claim I threatened her because I was what, jealous of her and Potter? That is just ridiculous – I was happily seeing Michael back in December.

'However, until Miss Lucas wakes up and sheds some light on what has happened I am unwilling to proceed with any form of discipline. You've always been an exemplary student and your academic record speaks for itself, so I believe your merit has therefore earned you the benefit of the doubt for the time being.' Headmistress Sprout explained before continuing, 'However that does not mean we are not treating this accusation in the most serious of manners. Both you and Miss De Champ are to go nowhere near each other or the hospital wing until Miss Lucas has woken up; I am going to write to your parents tonight and explain the situation; Professor Longbottom is to escort you back to Gryffindor; you are now officially suspended from Prefect duty and quidditch Captaincy and games – is that understood?'

I looked up at her my heart sinking even more. I couldn't see Mia, I was banned from quidditch and prefect duty, they were going to write to my parents…

'Yes Headmistress' I muttered.

'Very well. It is late, Professor Longbottom shall escort you back to Gryffindor.' She said, dismissing me without even bothering to look up.

I stood up, feeling dejected and heartbroken. I tried to tell myself I should just leave, go to bed, and maybe in the morning this would just be a bad dream…but I knew that was only wishful thinking. And since this was very much happening, I had to ask my next question, I had to know….

'Headmistress Sprout, before I go can I just ask how Mia is? Do you know?'

She looked up harshly at me and at first I thought she was going to dismiss me, but when her eyes met mine she must have seen the genuine concern there. She sniffed before informing me Mia was currently stable, and was expected to wake up in her own time. Apparently it could be in a couple of hours or a couple of days.

I nodded and followed Professor Longbottom out of the office without another word.

So here I was, following Professor Longbottom through the portrait hole. Due to the late hour I was expecting everyone to be in bed, so imagine my surprise and that of Neville, when we stepped into a room full of anxious faces.

'Hope' Roxy said, jumping up and rushing towards me grabbing my hands, 'My God are you ok? Dom told us about what happened and EVERYONE is talking about it and spreading different stories!'

I looked at her and then scanned the room fearful for who would be in here whispering about me. But all I could see when I looked around the room were a number of anxious Weasley's, Potter's and Brooke. I let out a breath.

'I'm ok' I said, rather unconvincingly.

'Neville you surely can't believe what Violet's said. She's been completely unhinged since we broke up in December….and she's full of some kind of irrational anger towards Wood. I'll testify to it!' James said heatedly, standing up from where he was sitting anxiously on the sofa.

'You should call him Professor Longbottom in school time Potter, how many times do I need to tell you?' I managed to choke out, desperate to do anything to lighten the mood.

James looked at me then, his eyes softening as he did and a ghost of a smile passing across his lips before he returned his gaze to Professor Longbottom.

'James we obviously find such an accusation against Miss Wood astonishing given her history and her character. However, until Miss Lucas wakes up we must treat this matter with all seriousness. Rest assured though I am fighting to make sure she is treated as fairly as possible in this time.'

James nodded and Professor Longbottom said his goodnights to us. As soon as he was gone Roxy prompted me to explain exactly what had happened tonight.

As I spoke I kept stealing glances at James, wondering what he could possibly be thinking. After all it was only earlier this morning he was warning me to watch my back. He stayed impassive for the first part of the story, but when I came to describing Violet's physical action against me his eyes darted to mine darkening and demanding to know if she had hurt me.

'No not really. I mean it might have been worse had Mia not turned up…but as it is I just have a beauty of a bruise on my leg.'

Roxy and Brooke both exclaimed their horror at this, and I was a little worried the two of them might march right out of the common room now and go and try and take Violet down.

Finally I explained about Mia coming to my rescue, and for what felt like the millionth time tonight I described how I thought I heard whispering and then Mia fell and everything that happened afterwards.

'Do you think Violet did it…you know, caused Mia to fall down the stairs?' Lily breathed, voicing the thought I had been tossing around all night.

'I don't know…' I said running my hand down my face, frustrated and tired.

'Ok' Roxy said putting her arm around me and squeezing me tightly, 'Look it is late…we should go to bed. You're going to come into my room and share my bed tonight ok.'

'Why?' I asked, perplexed.

'Because I am worried about you and both Brooke and I want to be able to know you're ok and…' she trailed off, her eyes flickering to everyone else for help.

'Everyone is talking about me and they all think I did it…' I finished for her.

'No, look it isn't like that' Brooke said, 'But you know what your roommates are like, they love to gossip and you've had a hard day. So we'd rather we knew you were with people who care about you tonight.'

'Ok' I said, not even having the energy or the fire to fight them tonight. The day's events had just drained me.

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><p>In the morning the group carried on fussing around me, trying to protect me from everyone else's whisperings and harsh words about me.<p>

'Look Wood I just don't think today is the right day for you to decide to make your return to the Great Hall for meals. You've pretty much avoided the place for months now anyway, why not for a couple more weeks?' Potter growled angrily at me as I made my way determinedly out of the common room.

I sighed in frustration, counting to ten and trying to keep my temper in check – reminding myself as I did so he was only being so bloody annoying because he was worried about me, as was everyone else.

I knew they didn't understand my resolve to eat in the hall today, but after a little bit of sleep and a lot of clear thinking this morning my anger and determination had started to flare.

I mean _how dare _Violet make up such awful accusations!

And was she really trying to ruin my life because of James Sirius Potter of all things…I mean James has a lot of things going for him; he's the son of Harry Potter; he's good looking; natural on a broom stick; incredibly clever and gifted when he chooses to put his mind to it; and on the odd occasion he can be pretty endearing and sweet – but he's hardly the be all and end all. I mean he is arrogant; cocky; annoying; rude; sleeps with your best friends after kissing you the night before...not exactly the perfect catch.

The more I thought about this the angrier I became. And as I lay awake waiting for Roxy to wake up I decided I wasn't going to have my life dictated over because of one messed up girl, and I certainly wasn't going to hide away like I had anything to be ashamed of…hiding from everyone would only fuel their speculation of my guilt more. Anyone who knew me would surely no this was a lie, not to mention the people I really cared about believing me had stayed awake last night just to show me even without hearing my side of events they were on my side. No, no, no today I was going to summon all my Gryffindor courage in order to walk into the Great Hall and all my classes with my head held high.

'Potter I've told you I am not guilty and I am _NOT_ going to hide away. Besides I've only been avoiding the great hall because I couldn't stand being around _you_…and seeing as how you've not left me alone at all this morning I can't really use that as an excuse any more can I?' I spat back annoyed, but feeling oddly lighter at this sudden change in our relationship and the shift back to our old bickering ways.

'Wood please I am just thinking about you. Look I'll take you to the kitchens for breakfast, you can meet Winky!' he pleaded.

My eyes narrowed at him.

'I've been avoiding the great hall in order to stay away from you, just because your mental ex-girlfriend decided to act like a crazy bitch towards me does not automatically mean anything has changed between us. Hence it does it mean I have forgotten that I am mad at you.' I said haughtily, turning and resuming my purposeful stride.

'Well I don't need to take you….you can go with Fred…' He tried to reason again.

I stopped, took a long steadying breath and turned. As much as I understood why he was begging me not to head down to breakfast, my mind was made up and I was not willing to change it.

'Look I know you are worried about me, but I have to do this…I'm not going to let Violet win. So you can either shut up, accept my decision and do your whole macho protection thing with Fred and the others in the hall over breakfast – or you can sod off. Your option James, you can take my small olive branch and offer of civility over breakfast, or we can just carry on ignoring each other and I'll stay pissed at you for the rest of my life.'

'Fine. I won't stand in your way – is anyone else going to try and convince her not to do this?' He pleaded looking around at his family, desperate for some support.

'Sorry mate, I've already tried.' Fred said.

'Me too' Roxy added.

'I'm actually with Hope on this one. I think you're all being too over protective of her. She isn't a baby and she certainly isn't weak…she can fight her own battles and we should be helping and supporting her to do so.' Lily said coming to my defence.

I smiled gratefully at her, turned and carried on heading towards my breakfast.

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><p>Thank Merlin this day was almost over because I can safely say it has been one of the hardest of my school career. The whispering had started the second I went into the hall and had followed me since – along with the outward abuse I was getting of course. What upset me the most was the fact a lot of Hufflepuff students believed the worst in me…I expected some of the Slytherins to give me a hard time, but I had just assumed most of the Hufflepuff students would not believe me capable of hurting one of their own.<p>

No matter how hard it had been I was glad I had stuck it out though. I was innocent and I was not prepared to act as though I had done anything wrong. And my friends had been incredibly supportive, although sometimes perhaps not quite the way I would want.

As it stands Roxy and Brooke both have detentions, Rox for pretty much starting a fight with Violet in their Herbology lesson and Brooke for cheering her on, both Albus and Scorpius are currently in the heads office after being caught trying to hex Violet and Pippa is currently being ignored by all her Hufflepuff friends for defending me and claiming there is no way I would hurt Mia.

Surprisingly Potter and Fred have managed to stay out of trouble, although I'm pretty sure they both have threatened a couple of people when they've heard them whispering.

Now I've just excused myself from the Great Hall, leaving Roxanne and Brooke to go to their detentions and I am thankful for the peace. As much as I love and appreciated what my friends have done for me today, I've not had five minutes to myself. In fact if I hadn't made a fast getaway out of the hall I am pretty sure Fred and Potter would have insisted on escorting me back to the common room. I rolled my eyes. Throw in Ollie's instances that he had to meet me after every lesson and walk me to the next and I was beginning to feel suffocated.

As I came up to Gryffindor my slightly upbeat mood evaporated. For goodness sake, does Michael just not quit!

'Michael' I groaned.

'Did you do it?' he asked surprising me.

I looked at him stunned. How could he ask me that? After everything we'd been through? Didn't he know me at all…

'How can you possibly ask me that?'

'I don't know what to think Hope…you and Mia haven't exactly been on friendly terms recently. And I know what she did with Potter. And I've spent a bit of time with Violet recently and she seems like such a lovely and sweet girl, I just can't imagine her lying…'

Whoa what? He's spent a bit of time with her recently and can't see her lying, but he dated me for most of the year and thinks I could push a friend down a flight of stairs….never in all my life have I felt more insulted and more betrayed. This man that I thought I knew, that said he loved me, that has begged for my forgiveness night after night…that he could stand there and say that to me was just unbelievable.

My heart broke.

'How…I just, after everything how could you ever ask me that? You've what, spent a couple of hours with that woman. You spent months dating me, you said you loved me and I just can't believe you would stand there and ask me that!' I said through my tears, feeling parts of my innocence being ripped away as I did.

'Hope..I-'

'No don't!' I said more angry now, pulling away from him and turning, suddenly needing air.

Unluckily for me I turned pretty much into the hard chest of James. I pulled back, noting the way him and Fred looked from me to Michael and back.

'Hope what happened?' Fred asked quietly coming forward and squeezing my shoulder.

'Nothing' I mumbled

'What have you done to her?' James asked, stepping around me in order to dominate Michael's personal space.

'Nothing…I just asked her if it was true, you know the stuff about her attacking Mia.'

'YOU WHAT?' James roared, clearly disgusted.

'I just had to ask…I know how irrational she can be when it comes to you Potter.'

Suddenly Michael went flying, the weight of the punch sending him spiralling into the wall. But to my astonishment, and I think Michael and James', the person throwing the hard hit wasn't Potter but Fred who looked red and livid.

Suddenly all hell seemed to be breaking loose, all three boys were shouting and from where I stood it looked like Fred was trying to kill Michael and it was Potter of all people holding him back. But right now I didn't care, I was suddenly glad they had come along and all three of them were distracted since it meant I could make my fast getaway. So turning on my heel, I fled – desperate to be outside.

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><p><strong>James' POV<strong>

'Where is she?' Lily said desperately.

It was now 9.17pm and Wood had been AWOL since about 7pm. Since that arsehole had had the nerve to ask her if she was involved in Mia's fall. Every time I thought about it I wanted to kill him…he said he loved her, how could he even think she might have done that. How could anyone who knows Wood seriously believe she could hurt anyone unless in self-defence?

I was a little pissed that Fred had gotten there first and had hit him. I would have loved the satisfaction myself…however that would mean I would currently be sat in detention and he would be joining Lily and Ollie in looking for Hope.

We'd checked the library, Roxy's room, her room, Hagrid's hut, but she was nowhere. I could only think of one other place she would be…

'I have an idea of where she is, but I think I should go on my own.' I said looking at both Lily and Ollie's faces.

Lily seemed resigned to my request, whereas Ollie looked as though I'd grown an extra head.

'Not a chance. In case you hadn't realised hot shot Hope wouldn't even be in this mess if it wasn't for you.' He spat.

'Look Ol I know ok. I know I share responsibility in this, which is the reason I think I need to go ok.' I reasoned.

Ollie looked unsure, but Lily whispered some gentle coaxing in his ear and he relaxed.

'Ok, but if she isn't happy with you being there – then I expect you to leave her alone ok.'

'Sure thing.' I promised

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><p><strong>Hope's POV<strong>

I wasn't sure how long I had sat on the quidditch stands just staring out at the field. Even after the sky had started to drizzle I just continued to sit there. I blocked out all thoughts, all sounds, all images of anything at all. I just sat, dazed and in my own world. The only thing that brought me out of my zombie like state was a shadow falling over the benches in front of me.

I dragged my attention away from the field and up into concerned brown eyes.

'Can I sit?' James asked tentatively, as he pointed at the seat next to me.

'I don't want to talk Potter, especially not to you.' I said trying to keep my composer cool and collected. Although deep down my soul was screaming for him to stay, to just sit and not to talk but not to leave me alone again either.

'That's fine, I don't wanna talk. I just want to sit' he replied, as if he read my mind.

'It's a free country.' I muttered.

He sat down next to me, careful to avoid any physical contact and joined me in my stance of staring out across the field. He made no move to cast a spell to stop the rain hitting us, as if he realised I needed to feel the spluttering against my skin right now. So we sat, and we sat, and we sat, and eventually I felt the tears start to prick at my eyes as I slowly started to process what had happened over the last few days.

I don't know how long we had sat there, minutes…hours…time just slipped away. I couldn't shake the horrible memory of Michael asking me whether I pushed Mia.

How could anyone who claimed to love me think that?

How could Michael think that? Had I misjudged his character that much…had I been so blind?

And then there was James…ever confusing, ever befuddling James. How much was he to blame for what was happening to me now? I didn't think he was. I mean granted he'd dated the crazy bitch, and he had slept with Mia…but he in no way could have imagined those two things would lead to this.

Once again I thought of Michael's declaration of love for me but yet his easily harmed faith in my innocence, then I thought of James and his constant declarations of caring about me…and here he is. He's the one that didn't question my innocence, in fact he came to my defence straight away yesterday…he'd followed me round all day and cursed anyone who suggested I was guilty. And now here he sits, quietly in the rain, waiting for me to speak…

And yet we're miles apart. So much has happened between us this year that I no longer know where we stand, and I have too many other things to deal with right now to even try and process the current relationship between two of us.

Finally I broke the silence, muttering a simple and quiet 'why are you here with me James?'

He turned to look at me and simply said, 'You shouldn't be alone but I know you don't want to be fussed over.'

'Aren't you worried I'll start a fight with you and try and kill you too?' I asked bitterly, Michael's words constantly ringing in my ears.

'Never, I know you're innocent Hope.'

'Michael doesn't' I said as tears pricked my eyes once more, 'and most of the school thinks I am guilty.'

'Michael is an idiot. And other people always like to believe the worst in people; it makes them feel better about themselves. But the people who know you and love you don't think that Hope.'

I looked at him, tears streaming down my face. I couldn't speak, what was there to say?

'Oh Hope please don't cry' he said, reaching forward and wiping tears away and pulling me into a hug.

This was the closest we'd been in ages and I wanted to fight him, but at the same time I really, really wanted someone to just hold me and tell me it was going to be ok. And that was exactly what James was doing, so I just gave myself up to it. I let him hold me in his arms and stroke my hair as he whispered kind words in my ear.

'I can't even see Mia' I whispered eventually, 'She's laying there in the hospital and we haven't talked properly in weeks – and now I can't even tell her I'm sorry.'

'Shhh she knows Hope. And she is going to wake up any minute, she'll tell everyone how absurd they are being listening to Violet, and then you can talk to her and you can forgive each other for everything that has happened recently.' James responded softly.

We sat quietly for a few more moments, James occasionally squeezing my arm as I focused on slowing my breathing to calm down. In, out, in, out…

'I'm sorry.' James mumbled out of nowhere.

'What?' I asked bewildered, pulling back to look at him.

What was he apologising for…for sleeping with Mia? For being the reason we haven't spoken? For Violet? I didn't know…

'For sleeping with Mia and ruining your friendship and everything between us, for bringing Violet into your life, for hurting you, for everything that is happening now…I am just so, so sorry Hope. You are without a doubt one of the best people I have ever met and you don't deserve this…I just….I wish there was something I could do, something I could say to make all this better for you. But I can't all I can do is say I am sorry.'

'James' I whispered looking at him intently, 'kiss me…'

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><p><strong>Ok before anyone gets too crazy either in excitement or outraged fury, wait for the next chapter and James' response to this…I know exactly how I am going to play it!<strong>


	24. Chapter 24

**Hi everyone. I couldn't resist putting this up so quickly as I knew you'd all have strong feelings over the way the last chapter ended.**

**A couple of points to address:**

**Yes it would be unrealistic to claim everyone didn't believe Hope. I didn't mean to make it sound like that, so it is my fault for making it unclear. Basically because of the high emotion, Hope feels like everyone thinks she is guilty, whereas most people just love to gossip over it. But after Michael's doubt she's obviously going to be feeling really low and be thinking the worst.**

**I hope this chapter goes some way to explaining why Hope would seem to perhaps 'forgive' James quickly and ask him to kiss her. I hope you won't find it out of character afterwards – I knew a lot of people would feel like that, hence my authors note at the end, but I really hope you can see why I wrote it like that here.**

**Any way here goes – a bit less dramatic perhaps this chapter…**

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><p><strong>James' POV<strong>

'James….kiss me'

I could not believe I had just heard those words and for a fleeting second my eyes strayed to Hope's lips and I seriously considered it, but as soon as the thought came into my head I pushed it out again. This was not the right time and Hope would certainly not thank me for it tomorrow. So summoning all my strength I shook my head.

'Hope I can't I-'

'You don't want too?' She asked, pulling out of my loose embrace and her eyes widening.

'No, I mean yes I do…I really, really do. I mean you have no idea how much I want too! But I can't Hope. You don't want this, not really. Deep down you are still really pissed at me, and rightly so – I am still pissed at me too. And we haven't talked about what happened at all and now just doesn't seem like the right time.' I tried to explain desperately.

'Oh' she said, removing her gaze from my face and staring out at the pitch once again…distancing herself from me.

Great, even when I do the right thing I hurt her I thought bitterly. However after about five minutes, without turning her face to mine, she leaned in and rested her head on my shoulder not breaking her gaze across the pitch. Tentatively I shifted a little so I could put my arm around her, holding her in a loose sideways hug. And to my utter relief she moved in, put her head on my shoulder and snuggled in a bit closer to me. I was worried she was cold with the rain pouring down. I know I was…but at the same time she had made no move to cast a spell to protect herself and that suggested to me she wanted to feel the rain – and if she was going to nearly catch her death out here in the middle of the stands then I sure as hell was going to join her. She could set the pace, my job as her friend was just to follow her and give her what she needed.

I'm not too sure how long we had been sitting there when I noticed the change in breathing pattern. I looked down at her and realised she had slipped into what looked like a peaceful sleep. In a brief moment of letting my guard down I remember that morning in the hospital wing when I woke up to her beautiful sleeping form…the morning I realised I loved her. And seeing how beautiful and vulnerable she looked right now, sleeping on my shoulder in the rain, I was struck again by how much of a hold she now had over me.

I knew however I couldn't sit here with her in the stands all night, it must easily be past 1am now and Hope needed a proper night's sleep…she also needed to dry off. Briefly I thought about waking her, but sensing that if I did so she would never drop off again I took the rather risky decision to lift her into my arms and carry her. So gently as I could I scooped up her legs and tightened the arm around her arms, stood and started a slow pace back to Gryffindor – checking the Mauranders Map as I went.

When I made it back to Gryffindor the Fat Lady raised her eyes as she took in the sight of me holding a sleeping Hope in my arms. She chuckled to herself about sleeping beauty as she swung open.

Once inside I wasn't sure what the best thing to do for Hope was. I didn't want to wake her, but I also didn't want to leave her sleeping on the couch downstairs – so that only left my room and my bed…

I made it into my room and was relieved to see all the guys asleep. Goodness knows what they'd think if they saw me carrying a sleeping Hope into my room and placing her in my bed…and I think the way the students jumped onto the bandwagon of rumours and speculation today proves that it doesn't matter who you are or how good your reputation is, rumour mill is still brutal.

I placed Hope gently onto my bed, took my wand out and quickly cast a drying spell over her – keen to make sure she didn't catch a cold. I then recited the spell to warm up and protect against chills that my mum insists on doing on me, Al and Lil anytime we play in the rain or go swimming. Usually this was a pain, but tonight I was thankful for her overprotectiveness – it means I knew what to do to take care of Hope.

I then grabbed one of my many quidditch hoodies and lifting her sleeping arms carefully I slipped them into the holes, and zipped it up at the front. Man she looked hot in my clothes…

No, don't think like that Potter – focus on the job at hand.

Bending down I untied both of her converse and placed them by the bed, and did the same with her socks.

Then I gently leaned over, grabbed her wand from out of her side pocket and cast a simple alarm spell for 6am – eager to make sure she woke up before the guys so she could make a pain free escape without any speculation as to why Miss goody goody Wood was waking up in Potter's bed.

I placed the wand by her pillow, pulled the quilt over her and tucked it under – eager to keep her warm. I then leaned down and kissed her quickly on the forehead and whispered 'goodnight beautiful, sleep well.'

I leaned back, looked at her again – just taking in how she looked in my bed.

Never in my life did I think I'd have Hope Katherine Wood in my bed…and even if I had, I doubt I would have envisioned this situation exactly. Shaking my head sadly I stepped back and quietly drew the drapes around her.

Then I turned walked over to Fred's bed and shook him. He grumbled as he opened his eyes and mumbled 'I don't care if we're best friends or family, I am sleeping Potter and I will not be held responsible for my actions if you wake me up….'

'Wood is asleep in my bed' I said, ignoring his sleep filled threats.

Needless to say that got his attention and his eyes popped open and he sat up so fast he accidently hit himself in the face.

'What do you mean' he asked narrowing his eyes at me, 'what did you do? I swear to God if you've taken advantage of her…' he trailed off reaching for his wand threateningly

'Thanks for the support and the belief in me there man. Of course I haven't taken advantage of her. We were outside and she fell asleep. You know as well as I do she hasn't been sleeping very well recently and I didn't want to wake her so I've put her in my bed…'

'And pray do tell where do you plan to sleep? Surly not with her?'

'Of course not you numpty, I'm going to sleep on the couch downstairs…but I didn't feel comfortable leaving Hope asleep in a room full of boys without anyone aware of the situation and looking out for her. Hence my reason for waking you up.' I explained, slightly irritated at his ideas of what I might be thinking.

'Oh, ok sorry' he mumbled flopping back down into his pillow and closing his eyes, 'I'll keep one ear open' he mumbled as he started to drift back into sleep.

I stood up suddenly filled with doubt about this. If Fred jumped to such conclusions about this then maybe Hope would be really freaked out about what had happened when she woke up – especially after the whole kiss me thing earlier. Groaning I leaned down opened my case and pulled out a quill and paper and quickly scribbled out a note.

_Wood_

_Before you start to panic relax, you fell asleep outside and I didn't want to wake you. I placed you in my bed and I am sleeping downstairs – Fred knew you were here though so he was aware to keep an ear open for you in case anything happened. _

_Sorry about the 6am wake up, but I thought you'd probably already have enough tongues wagging about you without adding 'woke up in James Potter's bed' to the list._

_If I'm still asleep when you come down please wake me just so I know you are ok._

_Sleep tight_

_Love_

_JSP_

_Xx_

Looking down my heart thumped. Crazy as it is I had warred with myself over whether to write love…I'd started to feel a bit like a girl with my over analysing. But in the end I just thought I do love her, so I may as well just write it on the note – she probably won't read it that way anyway.

As silently as I could I pulled back the drape enough to grab Wood's wand and taped the note to it so she would see it when she woke up. Then thinking screw it I leaned down to kiss her forehead one more time.

Then I once again closed the curtain reached down to my case and pulled out the emergency sleeping bag. Trying to sleep tonight was going to be interesting I thought ruefully as I exited the room.

* * *

><p><strong>Hope's POV<strong>

I woke with a start, an awful buzzing echoing through my head. My wand alarm….funny I don't remember setting it I thought as I whispered the counter spell to quieten it.

Not only do I not remember setting it, I don't remember coming to bed at all last night…something is wrong, I thought as I stretched a little. This isn't my bed…and it smells oddly of Potter – oh no.

I groaned my mind flashing to some of yesterday night's memories.

Why was I in Potter's bed and where was he?

I stretched out trying to clear my groggy mind and my hand hit my wand. A note was taped to it.

Slowly I reached over, removed the note and read it. As I did my mind became clearer…yes James had joined me last night, had hugged me when I needed it and stayed quiet and removed when that was what I wanted too….and I had asked him to kiss me, and he had declined on the grounds that I didn't really want him to.

I groaned, embarrassed by the memory. And he had been such a gentleman when he said no – he had admitted he wanted too, really, really wanted to apparently. But he had said I was still pissed at him and I didn't want to kiss him really.

He was right…wasn't he?

I wasn't sure. Granted I didn't want to kiss him, but I didn't know if I was still pissed at him. Given everything that had happened in the last few days my anger had slowly evaporated. Headmistress Sprout's words about forgiveness came back to me…more than ever I felt like that was what needed to happen.

I couldn't believe how thoughtful James had been putting me into his bed and sleeping downstairs as well. He could have woken me, but he wanted me to sleep – and he had thought of how I might feel waking up later with all the boys awake.

Slowly I rolled my shoulders and flopped down into the bed, smelling James' pillow as I did so and calming my nerves. After yesterday's dramatics I felt better. I think I had managed to get all myself loathing and moping out of my system last night – now after a goodnights sleep I considered the brighter sides of everything,

My friends were on my side, most of Gryffindor believed me – although my roommates who had never really warmed to me were loving gossiping about everything…the Ravenclaws all seemed either split, or uninterested. And needless to say Sky believed me and was fighting my corner with them, Rose and Lucy too. Even in Slytherin there was a silver lining in Scorp….I just had to keep going and ignore the gossip until Mia awoke and everything would be fine.

Slowly I sat up again, stretched my arms out in front of me and for the first time realised I was also wearing one of James' quidditch hoodies – that explained the strange feel I had of being wrapped in his smell.

I couldn't help it, despite everything and despite still not being ready to even contemplating where James and I were at now after everything, I still smiled goofily as I contemplated the fact that I – Hope Katherine Wood – was wearing a item of clothing belonging to one James Sirius Potter.

I slowly pulled myself out of bed, reached for my wand and my shoes and deciding to keep the hoodie on for now I tiptoed out of the room – careful not to wake any of the guys up as I went.

As I entered the common room I couldn't help the small smile that played on my lips as I took in the sleeping form on the couch. His hair tussled, his lips open slightly, his arm hugging one of the chair cushions and occasional little sniff coming from him. He was beautiful, and when he was asleep he was peaceful and quiet – almost making it easy to forget how bloody annoying he could be.

I looked at him for a minute or so before I slowly made my way over and gently shook him awake.

'James' I said lightly and his eyes opened, sleepy brown eyes coming alight as he registered me.

'Hey' he said sitting up slowly 'are you ok? Did you sleep well? How do you feel this morning?'

'Wow one question at a time eager beaver.' I joked and he smiled, clearly relieved to see I was well enough to make jokes.

'I'm good, much better this morning…thank you – for last night and, for you know giving up your bed. I slept really well.' I answered smiling at him.

'Good'

'Ummm and thanks, you know for last night…for not, umm…kissing me' I spluttered, embarrassed once again by the memory.

I could feel how red my cheeks were becoming and I quickly lowered my eyes away from his.

'Of course not…you were just…'he trailed off, clearly unsure of what to say.

'Looking for comfort in the wrong place.' I offered before continuing, 'and you're right…we haven't talked – you know about everything…about Mia.'

I swallowed and met his eyes again. A lot of things flashed across them then, fear, insecurity, uncertainty, loathing and regret.

'Do you want to talk?' he finally asked

'Yes'

'Now?'

'Yes….with everything that has happened, it just shows that life is too short to hold a grudge. Better to get everything out in the open and then find a way to move on…forgiveness, it is a form of magic you know.' I said smiling at him.

He nodded and pulled his legs up a little so I had room to sit on the couch across from him. I sat gingerly then turned, brought my legs up and mirrored him so we were both sitting staring at the other with our legs crossed in front of us.

'Where do we begin?' he asked

'I don't know…maybe with why you did it…how it happened?'

James took a deep breath, exhaled and opened and closed his eyes a couple of times and then finally began to speak.

'Why I did it…I don't know if I can put it into words – or if I really understand it myself. I mean I was drunk, really drunk….drunker than I've ever been. And I was hurting…Fred told me about finding you and Michael in a very compromising position the night before and you'd been there with your tongues down each other's throats in the middle of the common room – and I had just been so sure you were going to blow me off, blow off everything that happened. That in turn made me angry…I mean you always expected the worst in me-'

'What James no I di-'

'Yes you did. Are you telling me when you thought about that kiss you didn't think it hadn't meant anything to me?'

'Well no, I mean I thought it meant more to me than you bu-'

'See exactly. You had no faith in me and in turn, I had no faith in me. I was angry and drunk and honestly, heartbroken. And I didn't want you to hurt me and maybe I wanted to hurt you – I'm not sure. I didn't sleep with Mia intentionally, I can't remember how it happened…but one second she was there crying about issues at home while I was full of self-loathing wondering why I was working so hard to prove myself when I could just be the guy you and everyone else expected me to be any way – the screw up, and then the next second we were kissing and…well then you know the rest, then you were there and suddenly everything became real. I realised what I'd done, how terribly I'd acted and I've hated myself since. I've tried to work out what happened and why it happened and I can't – everything is blurry due to the fire whiskey.'

'You're an idiot.' I snapped rather harshly, hurt by his confessions and confused.

'I know…'

'Why, why do you always assume everyone thinks the worst in you? Why do you insist on being this arsehole…no one would think you were a jerk if you didn't act like one.' I said, frustration at him bubbling throughout my body.

'You did think the worst in me. You didn't think I wanted you – you thought I just kissed you without caring, and then you went and you were with_ him…_and all I could think was you were going to choose him over me.'

'Urgh you are so frustrating.'

We looked at each other, both of us trying to sort through our own issues. What struck me the most was the fact that James had suffered from the same kind of insecurity as I had had. He thought I was going to think our kiss was a mistake and I was just going to brush it under the carpet.

Was I?

'I can't say anything but I am sorry Hope. If I could go back in time and change it I would, but I can't. My mistakes are mine and part of who I am…all I can do is sort through them and try and work out a way to make me better.' James finally said, breaking through my thoughts.

'Honestly when I think about it logically I have more to apologise for…' I said.

James gave me a quizzical look and I carried on quickly, voicing some of the niggling thoughts I had had recently.

'Well think about it, I was the one in a relationship when we kissed. I was the one who went and threw myself at my boyfriend rather than being honest with him about our kiss, or instead of talking to you about how I was feeling…I was the one who didn't know who to choose, who wanted to keep both of you in my life…and I was the one who wasn't just honest with you in the morning…you were free and single, you weren't cheating on anyone, you didn't know how I felt. So logically I am more guilty than you. But when I think about it emotionally I honestly just want to hit your pretty face and keep on hitting it. You know it would have hurt if I had caught you with any woman, of course it would…but to catch you with Mia of all people. I'm just not sure how to erase that memory or to make it ok. Logic can point out where I'm perhaps a little hypocritical…but emotion is always going to eclipse that logic.'

'Hope that is without a doubt the stupidest thing I have ever heard you say. Yes perhaps the whole you having a boyfriend thing and throwing yourself on him was a bad move, but in terms of us….I'm way out ahead in terms of awfulness.' James said, before adding thoughtfully 'I should have known you wouldn't hurt me intentionally…I should have had faith in you. But instead I let all my insecurity bubble to the surface and I acted out, ruining any chase you had of hurting me by hurting us both first.'

We were silent for a long time, both trying to take in what was being said.

'Where do we go from here?' I asked quietly.

James offered me a weak smile, 'That is up to you Hope…you choose the pace and I'll respect what you want. If you want to go back to ignore me then I will completely understand, I don't expect you to forgive me. To be honest I am astounded you are even talking to me right now.'

'I'm not ok with what you did. I don't know if I will ever be ok and be able to move past…and if you want me to you have so much to prove. I mean I thought I knew you, I thought…well anyway that doesn't matter right now. But I'm tired of ignoring you, and honestly I miss being around Fred and Rox and everyone. I miss having meals in the hall…and as much as I love the library I am kind of tired of hiding out in there.'

'Ok, so where does this leave us…?'

'Somewhere close to where we were at the start of the year. Friendly, civil…I don't know if I can trust you enough to say we're going to be as good friends again right now, we'll have to see what time brings.'

'Ok I can live with that.' He said, relief clear in his tone.

'I guess we should start with quidditch. That's where a lot of our friendship began…will you reinstate yourself as my co-captain? Please…it only seems like the natural thing to do now, after all goodness knows when my ban will be lifted…' I said, trailing off.

James leaned forward and gently squeezed my arm, 'It will be lifted at any moment, the minute Mia wakes up and tells everyone how stupid they are being….and of course, if you want me back I'm back.'

I nodded.

'I should get dressed…' I muttered

'I know I have no reason to ask, but will you do me a favour? One small step in building some kind of stability between us?' James questioned tentatively

'What?'

'Eat breakfast with me, in the kitchens today…you had a stressful night, I'd like to know you've at least eaten one meal in peace.'

I shot him a half smile and offered a small nod, 'Just let me get changed.'

* * *

><p>As I headed over to my bed I noticed a letter resting on my pillow, as I'd been expecting. I tore it open, suddenly desperate to read the comforting words of my parents after such a crazy few days.<p>

_Hope darling,_

_Words cannot describe how angry and hurt we are that anyone we consider our friend could even dream of believing our daughter capable of physical violence. Please do not worry my darling, your father and I are on the case – in fact your father is threatening to sue the whole school for libel and negligence. _

_Once Mia wakes up everything will be ok darling, and Sprout better take serious action against that horrible De Champ girl – or else they really will be sorry. Your father has already had to talk me out of coming to Hogwarts to sort that girl out myself…_

_But until this is over, keep your head low, stay close to your friends and know we love you – so, so much. And we could not be prouder of you._

_Love_

_Mum and Dad_

_Xx_

I exhaled, comforted to know my parents believed me and were on the case. Not that I ever doubted they would act in any other way – but still, seeing it there in writing offered some small glimmer of joy.

I placed the letter under my pillow, and quickly changed before heading back down to the common room to meet James.

Rather reluctantly I handed him back his quidditch hoodie. It had been so cosy and comfortable I had been tempted to keep it, but I'd reasoned that that might not be the best way to set up boundaries between us. So mumbling my thanks I handed it to him and he rushed off to throw it into his room.

A few seconds later he reappeared and we started towards the kitchens in a comfortable silence.

Finally after a couple of minutes I broke the quiet by admitting I had been a little jealous of Pippa's trip to the kitchen earlier this week.

'Hope Katherine Wood…jealous?' he teased, shooting me a sideways glance.

Oh no, no flirting that was not what we should be doing. Trying to keep things as formal as possible I resisted his playful tone and said rather robotically, 'Well yes, both you and Fred have always insisted on no girls allowed. I realised I was being stupid and you were just being kind to one of my friends.'

He smiled at me, laughing a little as I spoke.

'Yes I was. And I like to believe Fred and I have outgrown our childish no girls stance…that was so first and second year. The only reason why I never took a girl was because there were never any girls special enough to take…'

'But Pippa was?'

'No, not exactly. I'd always thought the first girl I took to the kitchens would be really, really special. I'm not saying Pippa isn't lovely, but she's hardly special to me…I wanted the first girl I introduced to my house elf buddies to be…a real winner. But after I came to Pippa's defence the other day it was clear she wanted to eat, but she was reluctant to go into the hall…so I figured the kitchen would be the perfect answer. And the house elves_ LOVED_ having someone new to fuss over.'

I nodded, trying to ignore some of the suggestions in his words.

* * *

><p>The kitchens and the house elves were so different than I might have imagined. For a start every house elf seemed to be wearing a tea cosy on their head, but they loving referred to them as 'Dobby hats' and they were all so keen to show them off.<p>

I gathered from what they said as they modelled them for me that most of these 'Dobby hats' had been presents from the Potter's and Weasley's.

'Ummm mind explaining the hats?' I asked confused

'You know about Dobby the house elf right?'

'Yes, friends with your dad right…died helping him fight Voldermort right?'

'Yes, well he wore lots of clothes and he also wore lots of tea cosies – convinced they were hats. After he died he kind of became a legend in house elves terms and all of them wanted Dobby hats. They bloody love it when we make them one.'

'You make tea cosies for house elves?' I asked, trying to keep the humour and amusement out of my voice.

'Yes and I think it is totally manly and not at all something embarrassing.' He said, almost proudly.

'Oh Mr Potter, Mr Potter – there he is, my Jamsey boy' a female house elf said, bustling forward with a massive grin on her face.

Jeez even the house elves fell for his charms.

'Ahhh Winky!' he exclaimed happily, surprising me by throwing his arms around her in an embrace. He pulled back and smiled at her before pointing to me and saying, 'Winky it is my greatest pleasure to introduce you to Miss Hope Katherine Wood, Hope this is Winky – the head house elf and a very, very good friend of my family. And the poster elf for elfish freedoms.'

Winky turned to me, her eyes going wide and a massive smile almost breaking her face.

'Oh Miss Wood, Miss Wood my pleasure, my pleasure. Mr Potter speaks so highly of you and it is an honour for Winky to be in your presence. He says you are the most noble and strong of people, and you are truly as beautiful as he described.'

'Ummm thank you. And it is an honour to meet you.' I said, not sure how to take her praise.

I stole a look at James he was bright red.

'Yeah well I wouldn't say I put it quite like that…' he mumbled, clearly embarrassed.

'What can we get for you this morning?' Winky said, ignoring Potter's uncomfortable stance.

'We'd love breakfast…can I have French toast and some orange juice and a filter coffee…Wood?' He asked, raising an eyebrow at me.

'Umm pancakes, pineapple juice and coffee if it isn't too much trouble?' I asked, concerned I was taking advantage.

'Oh no, no trouble at all…we love to feed students…especially when they are such noble friends of Mr Potter' Winky said happily, as she bustled away happily.

* * *

><p>There was no doubt breakfast was amazing. Possibly the best food of my life and I was waited on hand and foot.<p>

It had also been clear how much the house elves loved James – when we'd stood to leave some of them had even cried! They'd begged him to come back again and one of the smaller house elves named Lolo had even held onto his foot to try and keep him there.

'Thank you for breakfast' I said as we reached Gryffindor.

'No problem.' He said as he muttered the password and helped me through the portrait hole.

'Hope where the hell have you been?' Roxy shouted, barging past James and staring at me – her hands on her hips.

'Ummm the kitchens having breakfast….' I said trailing off as I noticed a sea of concerned and angry eyes staring at me.

'Do you have _ANY_ idea how worried we've been, especially after last night.' She carried on, turning to James and eyeing him coolly as well.

James just rolled his eyes at her and flopped down on the sofa.

'Seriously Hope is a big girl, what's with all the drama' he said closing his eyes and stifling a yawn.

'Well it just so happens while you were off gallivanting with House Elves and thinking about your ever expanding stomach James Sirius Potter Mia woke up!' Roxy said, her eyes darting between us.

Mia was awake…thank Merlin.


	25. Chapter 25

**Hi guys, sorry it has taken a while – I've been busy with holiday's, Olympic Fever and charity stuff and then I've been working on this for three days, just trying to get it to flow right. But I am back and hopefully I'll be able to update within the next two weeks.**

**This chapter is a little different as it is split between Hope's point of view and Violet's. Hope you all like it, I'm a little nervous about this one!**

**Thanks and enjoy**

**Disclaimer –Harry Potter isn't mine!**

* * *

><p><strong>Hope's POV<strong>

Mia was awake…although I'd heard the words I wasn't able to fully register what that could mean. James however shot up from his position on the sofa.

'Mia is awake? When did this happen? How do you know? What has she said?' he questioned, his eyes meeting Roxanne's angry stare.

She narrowed her eyes at him before responding.

'It happened while you were off with Hope gallivanting around and I know because Neville came to find Hope….but seeing as how she wasn't here that was kind of impossible. And I don't know what Mia has said, obviously they want to speak to Hope about it personally you ninny. We'd probably all know by now if you had stopped to think about how worried we'd all be finding you both gone!'

'Oh get a grip Rox, Hope and I are perfectly capable of looking after ourselves – we don't need a bloody babysitter.' James snapped back at her.

The two of them were glaring at each other, both oozing pent up tension and frustration, which I think was aimed more at the situation I was in rather than at each other. It was just easier for them to take out their worry and concern on each other rather than show me they were nervous – even though I knew this was the real reason behind their bickering.

'What did Professor Longbottom say?' I asked just as Roxy was about to retaliate to James.

Letting out an angry sigh and shooting James one more angry glance she turned to me and showed me a small reassuring smile.

'Just that Mia was awake and that if we saw you we were to tell you to go directly to Sprout's office…'

'Right well I'd better go then.' I said, trying to smile reassuringly at the sea of concerned faces, although I was anything but confident about what might happen.

'I'll come with you and wait outside.' James said striding forward in a determined manner.

'No James honestly you don't have to do th-'

'Yes I do' he insisted.

I could tell by the look on his face that he was determined and in all honesty I knew having him with me when I found out what exactly had happened, even if he was waiting outside, would give me more courage to face whatever came my way. So I eventually nodded my agreement at him before turning and smiling once more at everyone else.

'Wish me luck' I muttered.

'Oh Hope you won't need it! Mia will be on your side, just like we are!' Roxanne said as she stepped forward and embraced me.

She then turned to James and said 'You better look after her Potter or you'll have me to deal with' and she poked him in the chest just to reiterate her point.

Ollie came forward and hugged me to, whispering that mum and dad were on their way as well. This more than anything reassured me that everything was going to be ok. My parents would fight tooth and nail to protect me, I knew that.

After Ollie let me go Fred stepped forward and gave me a quick hug, and then with that Potter and I stepped out of the portrait hole and were once again walking along the corridors together.

'It is going to be ok, isn't it?' I asked quietly as we walked.

James surprised me by reaching over and taking my hand with his, squeezing it lightly and saying, 'Of course it will be.'

I almost expected him to let go of my hand when he finished talking, but he didn't. He held onto it and showed no signs of letting go, which at this moment in time I was glad of. The reassurance it gave me helped to calm my racing heart.

'Thank you, for coming with me…' I muttered to break the silence and distract me from what might happen when I got to Sprout's office.

'Don't thank me Hope. I am part of the reason you're in this mess in the first place and I am going to do everything I can to try and help you…'

'It isn't your fault you know.' I said quietly as he squeezed my hand.

'You're too kind to me Hope – you know as well as I do that I play a part in this. You're the innocent one out of all this, and I should be reassuring you.' He replied as he shot me a weak half smile.

'You are James, just by being here.'

We reached Sprout's office and James gave my hand one more hard squeeze before smiling at me. He let my hand drop, sat down on the seat outside and said, 'I'm going to wait right here until you come out. I won't go anywhere no matter how long it takes – and I am here for you if you need me, just let me know.'

I smiled and with that I knocked on Sprout's door.

A muffled 'come in' came from the opposite side.

* * *

><p>I entered the Headmistresses Office determinedly, reminding myself over and over again that I had done nothing wrong.<p>

'Miss Wood…please do sit down.' Headmistress Sprout said as she gestured to the chair in front of her desk.

'How is Mia?' I asked as I sat down, wanting to know she was alright before I dealt with anything else.

Sprout looked at me for a long period of time, before smiling kindly at me and saying, 'Miss Lucas is alright and out of any danger. She is however groggy and disorientated – and there are lapses in her memory which are concerning both Madame Pomfrey and myself.'

I let a small breath. Mia was going to be ok, but there were issues with her memory…but then Sprout was smiling at me – that was a good sign, wasn't it?

'In regards to the accusations against you I am afraid things are still not completely clear. Miss Lucas cannot remember a lot of what happened before the fall, however she does remember you being there – and something regarding the two of you arranging to meet. She also believes you had turned and started to walk away from her before it happened, not to mention the way she loyally scoffed at the idea that you could hurt her – or indeed anyone. She thinks the most likely cause fall was tripping up, and she vigorously denies there was any fighting happening between you before it all happened. Unfortunately Miss Lucas does not remember seeing Miss De Champ at all during the incident nor did she hear any whisperings.' Headmistress Sprout explained.

'So where does that leave everything? I don't really understand?' I asked perplexed.

'I am afraid that is not very clear. For the moment we are still going to have to do a bit of investigation, which means we will require both your wand and Miss De Champs.'

'Our wands…why?'

'We need to check the spells the two of you have cast over the past few weeks. If you heard whispering then that could be an indication of something larger happening, and also we need to know that you yourself did not cast any spell to cause harm to Miss Lucas.'

'Sure…here' I said handing my wand over without so much as a second thought. I was innocent and I had no reason to worry about what they might find – every spell I've ever cast has been above board.

'Thank you. The test itself should not take long, we're just waiting for your parents and Miss De Champ's father to arrive and then we will test the wands. For the time being you are to head directly to Professor Longbottom's office and wait with him….I suppose since he is outside waiting for you Mr Potter can accompany you.' Sprout said.

How did she know James was outside? She couldn't have seen him from her position behind the desk…

'Umm ok, thank you.'

And with that, I stood and headed out to see Potter.

* * *

><p>'What happened? Did Mia give you the all clear?' James asked, springing up the second the door opened and striding forward until her reached me and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.<p>

'Ummm kind of. Her memory is foggy but she said she thinks she remembers me turning away from her. Apparently she also told them it was silly to imagine I could hurt anyone…'

'Well she's right, if Sprout or anyone else for that matter believes you'd hurt anyone then they're idiots.' James said rather hotly, before calming himself and asking what that meant for me.

I shrugged, 'Well they want to test my wand and Violet's wand to see if there were any suspicious spells cast around the time of Mia's fall…which obviously is fine with me. But they can't do it until I our families are here – I think so they can talk to us afterwards with adults there to speak on our behalf. So I'm to wait in Neville's office….do you want to wait with me?'

'Hope Katherine Wood…using a professors first name? What are we going to do with you?' James teased and winked at me before carrying on, 'I'd be honoured to wait with you…so long as that is ok?'

'Sprout said it would be and I can't see _Professor Longbottom_ minding. Besides I'd like you to stay with me, at least until my parents get here.' I said.

James nodded before giving me a little push to get me walking.

* * *

><p><strong>Violet's POV<strong>

I can't believe this is happening…how could everything have backfired like this?

The spell I'd throw at Mia must have been incomplete – she might not remember me being there or my involvement in everything that has happened to her, but she apparently remembers that little bitch being nice to her.

And now because of that I am under suspicion and I've had to hand my wand over as well. Not that I am too worried about that, I mean I am not stupid enough to have used my regular every day wand while trying to use banned spell on my fellow students – my dad did teach me well after all – but I'm pretty sure I am going to be in trouble just for some of the more legal spells on my wand. Trying to hex Pippa into a pig for instance…

And of course dad is going to be thrilled at me – not. He's going to go crazy, tell me I've put the bigger picture in jeopardy, I can almost hear his lecture.

And while I am being given the third degree by my father and being put into detention by my professors little Miss Bloody Perfect Hope Wood will be getting off scott free – again. And she'll be off gallivanting with her friends and James, who would be with me right now if everything had worked out how dad and I planned it. This turn of events might even mean all that good groundwork I put into developing a 'friendship' with Michael will all have been for nothing, because he'll blatantly run back to his precious tart and start professing his love for her again.

Well fine, Hope might get away easily this time but next time I won't mess up – and she will be sorry she ever got in the way of my life.

* * *

><p><strong>Hope's POV<strong>

James and I didn't really speak that much during our time in Professor Longbottom's office. Instead I borrowed a book on healing plants from one of Neville's bookshelves, while James scribbled some ideas for quidditch plays on a piece of scrap paper. We sat next to each other though and one of his arms was draped round the back of my chair. It was nice and comforting…well sort of.

Mum and dad got there about half an hour later, both barging into the office without even knocking. After about five minutes of the three of us just hugging each other we broke apart and Potter stood up, looking sheepish and embarrassed as if he was intruding on a very private moment.

'I guess my work here is done. I'll see you back in the common room later Wood…nice to see you Mrs Wood, Mr Wood.' He stammered

'Sure, thanks for staying with me James' I replied, smiling at him as he walked to the door.

'Sure thing.' He said as he nodded and then exited the room.

'Right well let's get this over with shall we.' my mum said as she put an arm around me.

* * *

><p>Relief, that was all I could feel when Headmistress Sprout handed my wand back and told me I was officially no longer under suspicion and I could resume prefect duties and quidditch. Mum however seemed to feel nothing but anger.<p>

'And what about the other girl, is any action going to be taken against her?' she demanded hotly.

'In terms of the incident surrounding Mia Lucas Violent De Champ's wand threw up nothing suspicious. There are however some concerns over some of the other spells she seems to have been casting with her wand, for which she will be disciplined, but in this instance there is nothing we can do-'

'What, you expect me to believe there is nothing you can do? What about the allegations she made against my daughter, can nothing be done about that?' mum shot back

'Katie, I know you are upset and angry at the situation, but as it is my hands are tied. With Mia's memory being as it is there is no way to prove that Violet's version of events didn't happen. I can't very well say it is alright to give Hope the benefit of the doubt and not extend the same curtsy to another student. Miss De Champ is a model student in terms of her extra-curricular activity and her grades, as is Hope. In fact until her wand revealed the hexes it did we had no more reason to question her behaviour than we did Hope's.' The Headmistress tried to explain.

'There must be another way to prove that she deliberately lied to damage my daughter's reputation though? What about truth serum?' Mum pushed once more, undeterred.

Sprout let out a weary sigh before saying, 'Please understand that while we take this matter most seriously, truth serum is only to be used in the most server of cases – as it is deemed an invasion of student privacy. And Violet De Champ's father is a very influential wizarding lawyer who has fought for justice on this very issue, so even if I believed that was the right course of action, which I don't, it would be virtually impossible for us to gain permission to do so.'

Mum sank back in her chair defeated and dad put his arm around her.

'I understand what you are saying, but can you offer me your personal assurance that you are going to do everything in your power to look out for my little girl and to keep Violet away from her?' Dad asked, clearly trying to stay the calm one out of my parents – but doing very little to hide his concern for me.

'Mr Wood…Oliver...I would hope that both you and Katie would know me well enough to know that the priority of my students is always top of my list. I assure you your daughter will be protected and treated fairly, and we will monitor her interaction with Miss De Champ closely from now on to avoid any more incidents like this.'

Dad nodded and my parents said goodbye to Headmistress Sprout as we stood. Just as we made it to the door I turned and asked whether I could see Mia now.

'She needs rest tonight, but I can see no reason why you should not visit her in the hospital wing tomorrow.' Sprout said smiling at me.

'Thank you' I said, before turning and following my parents outside.

* * *

><p><strong>Violet's POV <strong>

'How could you be so careless Violet. Do you care about how close you came to ruining everything we've worked for? Thank Merlin you had the sense to use your other wand for cursing that girl, or everything we've worked towards since you were a child would be over. ' Dad snapped as me as we exited the Heads Office.

'Yes of course I care dad, I honestly do, I just messed up. But dad if you understood just how awful this girl is-'

'Stop it Violet! I don't want to hear about your petty school rivalries. Your mission was clear, get close to the Potters' and Weasleys', find out what you could about the Wood children, and subtly try to distances them from their friends. And now look what you have done – you've alienated yourself from them. James Potter was supposed to be swooning all over you, but instead you've pushed him right into the arms of the Wood girl!'

'I know dad' I snapped, 'but you don't understand what she is like…the hold she has on him. Even when James and I were seeing each other he'd put her first-'

'That is another thing. I'm starting to feel like you have feelings for _that _boy Violet…'

'What daddy no! I would never betray you or the cause like that.'

'Then why go after the girl Violet, why all this hostility? I'm going to have to do so much damage control with the group tonight – they'll be wanting to punish you.' He said as he stopped and pinched the bridge of his nose, his anger ebbing away.

'I thought you and the group wanted the Woods' to suffer, didn't you say their mother needed to be distracted from that tonic she's been making?'

'Yes Violet but I didn't mean for you to go and pull a stunt like this! We have a plan for the mother, we just wanted you to subtly make the children outcasts. Look just go back to Slytherin and keep your head low for the rest of the year. We'll discuss another plan over the summer.' My father said, clearly tired of this conversation now.

I wanted to ask what he meant about having plans for Wood's mother, but I knew now wasn't the right time – not when he was angry and disappointed in me. So instead I did what was asked of me. I returned to my dorm, went to my room and lay awake for a long time wondering about what plans my father and the group had – and thinking about how I could bide my time until I was finally able to play a more important part in the plan.


	26. Chapter 26

**Hi ev everyone, sorry this has taken so long to upload. The whole thing has kind of taken a backseat due to my Master's degree. However I am still totally dedicated to writing this story whenever I have the chance!**

**I have to apologise but I am not a big fan of the way the parts of this chapter flow together. I tried for ages to make it better, but it appears this is the best I could do. Also it is a bit of a slow chapter, but the Godric's Hollow stuff and that whole conversation is going to be important for other parts of the story.**

**So there is nothing else to say but happy reading!**

**xxx**

After Mia woke up things started to settle back to normal. I returned to eating three square meals a day in the Great Hall, I didn't run away to the library after every lesson and I started spending more time with Fred, which in turn meant James and I were back in close proximity.

Potter was true to his word following our conversation on the morning Mia woke up and he kept things formal between us, allowing me to choose where we were in terms of our relationship. Now that the initial drama following Violet's accusation had calmed down we focused mainly on quidditch and didn't spend a lot of time alone, but in a strange way I missed him. I just wasn't sure I was ready to go back to how we were, or even if we could. The way he'd been there for me while Mia was unconscious had been incredible and I'd seen the signs of the person I think I was starting to fall for, but I could not easily forget how quickly he'd hurt me in the past. So this slow and formal pace while we tried to re-build some kind of relationship suited me fine at the moment.

Mia and I were also on somewhat friendly terms and we were trying to mend the bridges we'd bother damaged by our behaviour. The morning after she woke up I went to the hospital wing to see her and we spent a long time talking about things. I apologised for the way I had treated her when I knew she hadn't really realised she was doing anything wrong, then I proceeded to fill in the blanks for her about what was happening between James and I at the time.

For her part Mia filled in some of the story regarding that night that James hadn't been able to. She described how she'd stumbled upon James drunk and depressed and that when she asked what was wrong he'd merely replied with, 'Everyone expects the worst in me and thinks I'll hurt them. I'm not good enough for anyone. So what's the point in trying to be a better guy? No one cares.'

She then went on to describe how she'd identified with this and how she'd shared stories of her home life with him whilst sharing the fire whiskey with him.

'I don't know why it happened or what I was thinking but I leaned in and kissed him first Hope…he was so drunk he probably won't remember, but I do…I just remember feeling like it was the only way to forget about both of our troubles. He resisted at first, but I was pretty determined…Believe me if I had known how you felt and that it was you he was trying to be better for I would not have done it.' Mia had confessed.

This more than anything had surprised me. I had, perhaps unfairly, just assumed that Potter would have incited the contact.

Although Mia and I had agreed we both shared some of the blame, had hugged each other and agreed to put this behind us, things had obviously not just gone back to how they were. For a start her and Potter avoided each other as best they could, I tried to ignore the feelings of unease I had when they were in close proximity, and I still sat with Pippa in potions. The latter however was partly because I wouldn't just want to drop Pippa after she'd been so loyal and good to me over the past couple of months, and I hoped if Mia really knew me this would not offend her.

The other obvious difference in my relationship with Mia was I was more reserved around her and I was less willing to talk about anything personal with or around her right now. I hoped this would change in time, but right now part of me was still suffering from trust issues I guess. I know this is silly, as I know if I needed her Mia would be there for me no matter what had happened – but still something in me just wasn't ready to get as close to her as we once were.

So slowly life started to move on and we all started to move past things and before I knew it the second weekend in May was here, which in turn marked the memorial day of the ending of the second wizarding war and the battle of Hogwarts.

On this day it is customary for witches and wizards from all over to come to Hogwarts to pay their respects to those who died fighting for freedom. There is a service, families lay flowers below the memorial outside the Great Hall and each family has their own way of dealing with the loss they still feel.

Fred and Roxy's family always try to be removed from everyone else, wanting to share their personal sorrow and grief in the privacy of their own family and friends who lived through the war with them. This however is anything but easy when you have Harry Potter as one of your kin. But nevertheless it is something I have always respected and expected to happen – I give up spending one weekend with my friends so that their family can deal with the loss that I know still affects them greatly.

For my family the weekend is very different. My grandmother and father are always sad and they grieve for the grandfather I never knew – but the cause of their grief differs greatly. Whilst my grandmother mourns for the loss of the only man she's ever loved, my dad mourns for the father he was denied and the great man he hardly remembers now. But in the midst of this grief there is also gratefulness and guilt – that while some families lost nearly all those they held dear, the Woods only lost one. And just like everyone else they mourn for friends. Whilst my mother and father always say they cannot imagine how it must feel for the Weasley's every year to live with losing one of their own – especially what it must be like for George, to have lost his twin – they do mourn Fred themselves, and many others with whom they shared their adolescence.

For Ollie and I the weekend is always a sobering event. It reminds us of the simple fact that our parents shared the same issues and problems as we do now, but they also faced death, loss, pain and darkness too.

This year after the service I was standing with my Ollie, my parents, my grandmother and a few of my father's quidditch teammates discussing the services – particularly the beautiful speech from a women who was left widowed by the war - when I noticed James standing on his own just staring at the memorial. I tried to ignore him and to focus on the discussion, but at the same time I could not block out the niggling voice in my head telling me this was unusual. Potter would never usually leave his family during this weekend – it was one of the only few things I could be certain of when it came to James. He cared too much about being there for his family and had too much family loyalty to just blow them off. The more I tried to focus on what was being discussed the louder the voice in my head telling me something was wrong became, until I reached breaking point. I couldn't just stand here without making sure everything was ok – or at the very least I could send James packing back to his family who no doubt needed him right now. So making my excuses I quietly slipped away from my little group and over to the boy in question.

'Penny for your thoughts?' I whispered as I came to stand by him.

James jumped and turned to look at me, clearly stunned by my presences. As his eyes met mine I was surprised to see a hollowness to them, not to mention a hint of anger. Suddenly I regretted my decision to come over and disturb him, maybe I was over stepping the mark and he didn't want me here right now.

'James I am sorry if I am intruding. I didn't mean too…look I can go.' I fumbled desperately.

I turned to leave, humiliated for making the effort to come over, but James' arm reached out and stopped me and he whispered 'No, please stay.'

There was so much emotion, so much pain and hurt there that I was stunned. I turned to face him, nodded and resumed my place next to him. We stood in silence for a while, I was unsure of what to say or what to do. I had no idea what was wrong and I can't recall ever seeing James in such a dejected mood. At some point I reached out and took his hand, I wasn't sure why, but it was the only thing I could think to do, the only comfort I could offer.

'I've never been…' James stated in a deadpan tone.

'What?' I asked, totally confused.

'To Godric's Hollow…I've never been. It is where it all started and it means so much to my family…but I've never been.'

'Oh' I said, as it was the only word I could summons in response to this revelation.

'You know my mum and dad beg me to go every year, Albus and Lily go but I just…can't.'

'Why can't you go?' I asked, squeezing his hand in reassurance.

'Because I just can't, I don't think I could take it. I don't know how my dad takes it…I mean how does he manage every day without wanting to rip someone apart limb from limb…the whole thing, his life, it just isn't fair.'

'What do you mean?' I asked, genuinely surprised by the anger and sadness in his voice.

'I mean that my dad was dealt a pretty crap hand for the first 17 years of his life. I mean just look at the evidence. His parents died, he lived with his crazy aunt and uncle who should be locked up for child abuse, he had a mass murder after his who targeted everyone he loved…all the links to his parents were killed, I mean…he lost so much. It just isn't fair. How could someone do that? Do this this to all these families?' he said, gesturing around at all the groups of families huddled together sharing tears, and laughter and stories of people who were no longer with us.

'James…' I started, but trailed off unsure of what to say. I couldn't argue with what he said, it was unfair. So what response could I give…'that's life' just didn't seem to cut it.

'And then I think of people like Snape and Sirius, who spent their lives being branded as something they weren't…who lived with losing people they loved but were either sent to prison for their murder or had to hide it…people who died with the whole world thinking they were traitors, when they weren't. They were heroes. And then Teddy, growing up without either of his parents…and then all I can think is if it wasn't bad enough that someone did this before, people still haven't learnt. I mean look at the dark arts uprising throughout Europe. There are bad people everywhere.'

'But there are good too. James you can't think like this, you can't let these things get to you or else those bad people win. By being bitter and holding on to this kind of anger then Voldermort and all his stupid cronies win. You want to know why your dad isn't ripping people from limb to limb; well then that is probably why. And you are right, Sirius and Snape had a horrible time and died with people thinking the worst in them – but that makes them all the better, it is that that makes them all the more heroic. As for Teddy, again I know it sucks, I won't say it is fair because it isn't…you're right, none of it is, but he did get a family who loved him James. He had your parents, your aunts, your uncles, a grandmother that loved him…and he has you and Al and Lily…I've seen the three of you with him, he's just like a brother to you.' I said, desperately trying to ease his pain and anger.

'I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't be offloading all this onto you…' James replied sheepishly, looking anywhere but at me.

'Hey' I said grabbing his face and turning it so he was looking at me, then slowly running my hand down his cheek I said, 'Don't you ever apologise for offloading this kind of thing onto me. If I didn't want to know what was bothering you then I wouldn't have come over. And don't you ever dare think that saying this kind of thing to me is a bad thing or makes you a bad person, the very fact that you care about this and that the injustice of it all upsets you is what makes you a good guy. Because for all your faults you are a good guy James…one of the best I know.'

His eyes stayed locked on mine for a long time and I could feel my heart beating wildly in my chest, unsure of what I wanted his next move to be. He was vulnerable – a totally new side to James that I'd never really seen, bar the morning he admitted he had been worried I would chose Michael. After a minute or so he looked away and I was surprised to find I was both disappointed and yet relieved.

'I just feel guilty all the time…' he muttered

'What, why? What for?'

'Because my dad's teen years were marked by battles, death, grief and more responsibility than most people have thrust upon them over their entire lifetime. And my teen years are carefree, selfish and so easy by comparison. How is it fair?'

'It isn't, but James you can't feel guilty that your life is good and that the only worries you have are those of a normal teenage boy. That is what your father and mother want, that is what they were fighting for. They want you to be happy and carefree…there is still evil in the world, we both know that, and they've raised you well enough to know to be thankful for what you've got – and to be weary of that evil – all they want you to be now is happy and safe. They want you to have what they never had.'

'I guess you're right.' He said

'You bet your arse I am right. I am always right.' I joked and to my utter relief James actually laughed.

'Yes you are….look Wood…I mean Hope…thank you. You constantly surprise and inspire me.'

'What?' I asked, whilst being utterly convinced I was blushing scarlet like a school girl.

'You inspire me, to be as kind as selfless as you are. I haven't exactly helped you have the best year this year, you have your whole family thing going on today, and I have pretty much been an arse to you since the day we met…but yet here you are, checking if I am ok even though you really didn't have too and given our history most people wouldn't have done.' He explained, shrugging and looking down to try and hide the blush forming on his face.

I let out a little chuckle and put my arms around him engulfing him in a hug. 'Don't be silly, coming over here was nothing.' I whispered.

When we broke apart he smiled down at me, leaned in and kissed me on the cheek and then said he'd better go and re-join his family.

'Ok' I said, noticing I was rather sad and reluctant to let him leave, 'see you later then?'

'You can count on it.' He said.

As he turned to walk way I couldn't help calling out to him and he turned to face me.

'You'll get there you know…' I said

'Where?' he asked, his eyebrows raised in confusion.

'Godric's Hollow…when you're ready and in your own time, you'll get there.'

He smiled at me then, a pure smile of hope and joy, before nodding to me again and heading off to find his family.


	27. Chapter 27

**Hi guys, sorry about the delay – lots of uni work at the moment, but I am hoping to post again before Christmas, so enjoy and I hope to be speaking to you all again soon!**

**Also drop me a review, it is always helpful to know what you all think! And as always thank you for reading and your constant support!**

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><p><strong>Hope's POV<strong>

The following weekend marked the final quidditch match of the year, which was set to be against Hufflepuff. As excited as I was that we were so close to winning, I wasn't really looking forward to playing against the team Michael captained. Since Mia had woken up he had tried on numerous occasions to apologise to me for what he'd said that day outside of the common room, however not only was I not in the mood to really hear it, but also there was always an array of Weasley's and Potter's around chasing him off. The worst culprit was Fred, amazingly James had been forced to act like the voice of reason and drag the two apart on a number of occasions, but Roxy had hardly treated Michael's attempts to speak to me with open arms either and neither had Ollie.

The morning of the quidditch match I woke up early and the butterflies in my stomach made it impossible for me to get back to sleep, after about half an hour of tossing and turning I gave up, threw back the covers and decided to get up. As I came into the common room I was surprised to see Potter climbing through the portrait hole.

'Potter?' I asked, trying to keep my voice neutral.

My initial thought was he'd spent the night with someone and I was trying desperately to ignore the disappointment in my heart. I wasn't sure where we were in terms of our relationship to one another, and of course he was free to see or sleep with whoever he wanted, but a small part of me was hoping he'd refrain from doing so...

'Hey you, you're up early?' he replied, a smile spreading across his face as he came bounding up to me.

Up close it was easier to study him and it quickly became apparent he was definitely not coming back from a sordid night, but from some form of exercise, and I tried to ignore the relief that flooded my system with this realisation. He was dressed in jogging bottoms and a t-shirt and he was cloaked in sweat, but yet he still looked good – damn him.

'Couldn't sleep...' I answered, trailing off.

'Thinking about today's game?' he questioned softly, clearly trying to tip toe around the subject.

Despite our heart to heart last weekend we hadn't really spoken this week, and we were back to the slightly formal, slightly friendly relationship again. As always though James seemed to just know automatically what I needed. He gave me space, but in small ways he always let me know he was there when I needed him.

'Yeah…you know what I am like on match day, let alone match days when I have to face…well you know…'

'Your jerk of an ex-boyfriend, who not very long ago accused you of trying to kill one of your best friends?' James offered.

'Yeah that. Plus there is hardly anything in it between our two teams, Albus has that head cold at the moment and I have a horrible feeling about what Fred might do to Michael….'

'Relax Wood, it doesn't matter how close we are to them in the competition, it just matters how far ahead we are when we finish, Al is fine since he's seen Madame P and I can keep Weasley boy in control….just do what you do on every other match day and you'll be fine. Don't stress because Michael is there, forget him and just imagine how great lifting that trophy will feel. '

James was right. As long as Fred didn't try and kill Michael everything would be fine, I didn't have to speak to Michael – I just needed to play quidditch….

'Do you want any breakfast, I'm gonna have a quick shower and head to the kitchens. Winky would love to see you, she asks about you every five minutes.' James said, smiling broadly at me.

'She does?' I asked sceptically.

'Are you kidding, she freaking loved you. She's always going "oh Miss Wood is so beautiful, oh Miss Wood is very nice to Master Potter, how Miss Wood is so clever"…really it is nearly enough to make me jealous. I was always her favourite.' James said pouting.

Laughing at the face he was pulling I nodded and said, 'Well yes, I guess for Winky I can join you, and breakfast would be great.'

So less than twenty minutes later I found myself walking down the corridor with a freshly showered Potter.

'Where were you this morning anyway? You looked like you'd been working out or something….' I asked, breaking the silence between the two of us.

'Admiring my physique were you Wood?' he teased as he puffed his chest out and raised an eyebrow at me.

Despite myself, I couldn't help but laugh at his antics.

'Please, you were all sweaty and gross….' I said rolling my eyes, and trying to ignore the memory of how good looking he had been despite the sweaty appearance.

James laughed good naturedly before speaking, 'Yeah ok, maybe you weren't checking out my greatly toned body. I went for a run this morning….'

'Really?'

'Yeah, it's become a bit of a thing with me recently. It helps to clear my head – I started it originally because I was in a pretty bad place and running let out a lot of tension, but then I realised I actually really loved it.' He said shrugging and holding the door to kitchens open for me.

The second we entered the kitchen there was no chance of carrying on with our conversation, as we were surrounded by over excited house elves desperate for our attention. All I could really do was smile over at James.

And it turned out James had indeed been right, Winky barely let me get in the door before she was showering me with compliments and giving me more food then I could possibly eat. This went on for the next hour, house elves demanded all our attention and neither of us were really able to speak to each other.

When we'd finished eating James thanked Winky and showered her with compliments, then he whispered something in her ear, and before I knew it all the house elves had been ushered away by Winky.

'What was that about?' I asked James quizzically, looking over to find him nervously wringing his hands. Which was very un-James like.

'Ok what's going on with you?' I asked, suddenly worried.

'Umm…no, nothing is wrong…I just asked Winky if we could have a moment alone because, well because I kinda, kind of got you something.'

'What do you mean – kind of got me something?' I asked, suddenly feeling guarded.

'A gift, I got you a gift Wood.' he replied as he brought out a small, impeccably wrapped gift out of his pocket.

Suddenly everything felt very closed in and overheated. I didn't want this, I still had no idea where James and I were in terms of our relationship – or what I wanted anymore. But what I definitely didn't want was James buying me things, complicating everything. Did my behaviour recently suggest to him that I was ready to pick up where we left off before I found him with Mia? Had I been leading him on? Talking to him last weekend….coming for breakfast with him this morning….

'James, I-'

'Wood relax, I don't expect anything. I've told you, you set the pace and I'll follow…I just, I wanted to get you something to mark the end of our first year co-captaining the quidditch team together…and to say thank you, for putting up with me this year and for helping bring the team to where we are. I swear that is it. I have no expectations of you.' He said, reading me like a book.

I still didn't feel comfortable taking the gift from him, it was very sweet of him, but it felt wrong taking something from him. Like I would be leading him on in someone way, or suggesting our relationship was heading in a direction I wasn't sure it was.

'Look Wood will you just take it so I don't feel like such a tool?' James asked, pushing the box toward me.

Tentatively I reached out and took the small package off him. Ripping the paper off I discovered a small black jewellery box beneath. No this was too much, jewellery was definitely too much…

'James, I ca-'

'For Merlin's sake Wood would you just open it please? I want you to have this…and I've told you, no expectations are involved I swear. I just wanted to get something to say thank you. So please, please just open it…even if you are determined to refuse it at least just look at it!' he said, exasperated.

Shooting him a glance I rolled my eyes and said, 'fine, but the record should note that I feel uncomfortable about this.'

'Fine, the record has noted this. And for the record I would like it to be noted that you are the most infuriating girl in the world – anyone else would just say thank you and politely open the gift.'

I couldn't help laughing at him before saying, 'Fine, noted. Now here goes nothing.'

I flipped the box lid open, curiosity suddenly winning over my other uncomfortable emotions. When I saw the beautiful piece of jewellery my breath caught a little. Inside was a slender silver bracelet chain, holding some small dangling silver star charms and white stones. It was gorgeous, understated but still eye catching and definitely the kind of jewellery I loved.

'Do you like it?' James asked timidly looking incredibly shy….an emotion I didn't even realise James could be.

'Are you kidding? James it is gorgeous…but it is too much.' I said, putting my hand on his arm lightly.

James let out a relieved sigh and slowly a massive smile crept across his face.

'Don't be silly it's nothing. The stars are supposed to represent what you are, or what we are as a quidditch team – stars - and there are the same number of stars and white stones as there on on the team….' He explained

'James, I don't know what to say. It is lovely.' I said, meaning it. The bracelet was beautiful – that was undeniable – but when he explained what the stars represented and the reason for the number of stars and stones I couldn't believe he had thought about it that much.

'Are you sure you like it, I can exchange it if not-'

'No, no, don't be silly. Here-' I said holding my arm out '-if you insist on me keeping it, then help me clip it on.'

'With pleasure my lady.' He said, as he leaned over and gently clasped the bracelet closed. His fingers brushed against my skin as he did so and I felt a tingling go up my arm.

'Now shall we go and find our team and show Hufflepuff how it is done?' he asked

I nodded and we both stood, he was just about to turn around when I grabbed hold of his upper arm and turned him round to face me. We looked at each other for a few seconds before I leaned in pulled him in close for a hug, then as I pulled away I kissed him on the cheek before whispering 'thank you, for the gift.'

* * *

><p>The team were just coming down the stairs towards the changing rooms when I heard his voice ring out from behind us.<p>

'Hope can I have a quick word?'

Michael just didn't quit did he?

'How many times do I have to tell you to sod off? I nearly broke your nose the last time we fought and I am dying to finish the job!' Fred said angrily as he span around to face my ex-boyfriend.

'Fred, it is fine.' I said, placing my hand on his shoulder, 'Look you guys go ahead and I'll meet you in the changing rooms in a minute.'

'Are you sure?' James asked from his place beside Fred, where he'd put a hand on his shoulder, clearly a pre-emptive move in case Fred flew at Michael again.

'Yes' I said, shooting him a reassuring smile. I didn't really want to stay, but I knew unless I at least heard him out Michael just wouldn't quit – and at least since the whole Mia incident he had stopped bringing me flowers.

'Right come on Fred and the rest of you, let's give Hope and Michael a minute' James said, as he started pulling Fred down the corridor. I could hear Fred protesting, but James wouldn't release his grip on his cousin and best friend.

'What do you want?' I said turning to face Michael the second the rest of my team had disappeared.

'You look good-'

'Cut to the chase Michael, I'm not bothered about hearing your pathetic flattery.'

'Hope I am sorry, I am so, so sorry. I just went a bit crazy, I can't explain it. But you have to know, how much I loved you, how much I still love you. I know you have no reason to give me one more chance-'

'Damn right I don't! And if that's what you're after then you can forget it!' I said angrily.

'Right, fine. Is it because of him?' Michael asked bitterly.

'Because of who?' I asked perplexed.

'Potter, the wonder kid…I see the way you look at him-'

'This really is not any of your business-'

'-it is pathetic Hope. He slept with your best friend! He sleeps with everyone…you know he just wants to use you, he'll just chase you until he gets what he wants then that will be it-'

'-Michael you'd better shut up this second. And for your information no it isn't about James, it is about you, and not just the way you acted outside of the common room – but about the way you acted that night of the prefect patrol. Anyway you're no better than James, I think your behaviour that night proves that – in fact that might make you worse than James.' I said angrily.

'Hope, I-'

'No forget it I am done talking to you. As far as I am concerned we have nothing left to talk about, now all the talking we need to do can be done on the quidditch field.' I spat out.

And with that I turned and stormed down the corridor. I was fuming as I walked along, and the worst part was I wasn't sure if it was at Michael for saying what he said, or at myself for letting his words about James get to me – because they had. The second he had started saying that James just wanted me for the chase, and that after I'd given in he wouldn't want me anymore, it had brought all my biggest fears to the forefront. What if I did decide to open myself up to the possibility of a relationship with James, and then I did something stupid like sleep with him and he decided he didn't want me anymore? Or worse still what if I opened myself up to him and he went off with another one of my friends? Or what if I didn't measure up to Mia? I was just Hope….I didn't understand what was so special about me which would make me more important to James than all the other countless women he'd been with.

This was stupid, I didn't even want a relationship with James…did I?

I shoved the changing room door in my anger and it banged open causing everyone to turn and face me as I came striding in, anger still pumping through my veins.

'You ok?' James ventured to ask.

I looked around the room, glaring angrily and passionately at everyone.

'I'm fine, but can we just make sure we win today….and if the opportunity arises for a massive bludger to be fired at Michael and his stupid pompous head can you ALL make sure you seize that opportunity!'

'I think we can do that' Fred said happily as he brought me in for a calming hug.

* * *

><p>We'd been playing for over two and a half hours when Albus suddenly veered off to the right. Before anyone really had a chance to process what was going on Albus was on the ground, clutching the snitch in his hand with a massive smile on his face. At first I didn't react, I just sat there on my broom trying to take in the fact that we had won, that we had actually done it – I only really broke out of my trance when Ollie flew up to me and started shouting about how happy dad was going to be.<p>

When I landed on the ground I barely had time to process what was going on before Ollie grabbed me in a massive hug. I then spent the next five minutes being engulfed by proud Gryffindor's – but there was no sign of James. No doubt he was caught in a similar cycle of loving embraces. Then out of nowhere someone bundled me from behind, spinning round I found myself face to face with James. Even if I had wanted too I doubt I would have been able to wipe the smile off my face when I came face to face with him, so rather than try I threw my arms around him and allowed him to spin me around in a manic embrace.

'We did it, we actually did it!' he exclaimed when he finally put me down.

'I know, I can't believe it!' I said back, just as joyfully.

'Fancy going and being the first one to hold our trophy?' he asked, smiling broadly at me.

'No, not on my own…we'll go do it together, just like we captained this team together this year!' I said back, not wanting to take this moment away from him. He'd earned this just as much as I had.

'Ok, together then' he said smiling at me, before taking my hand and dragging me toward the stand now holding the trophy.

When we reached the stand with the trophy, we were met by Headmistress Sprout and Professor Longbottom – both of whom were beaming at us.

'Congratulations Miss Wood, Mr Potter – I am very happy to hand this trophy over to you, I congratulate both of you for proving Professor Longbottom's faith in you correct this year. I admit I had my reservations about this, I never would have guessed you'd have been able to captain this team to victory together.' The Headmistress said as she went to pass the trophy to us.

As we gripped it and held it up for the rest of the team to see we were met by roars of approval from the crowd in front of us.

'Hope, James, I am thrilled for the both of you. You've done Gryffindor proud and both your parents will be thrilled!' Professor Longbottom said as we turned round to place the trophy back on the table – letting the rest of the team get their hands on it.

'Thank you professor.' I said smiling

'Yeah thanks Neville' Potter said from me besides me.

Turning to him and rolling my eyes I opened my mouth to rebuke him but he spoke, doing an uncanny impression of me.

'I know, I know call him Professor Longbottom in school hours Potter.'

'Well if you know why do you insists on calling him Neville?' I asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

'Because I can't resist pushing your buttons, and you fall for it every time.' He said, raising his eyebrows at me cheekily.

'You're incorrigible' I said in mock irritation.

'And you are too easy! Come on, I believe there is a party planned in our honour in the Gryffindor common room.'

* * *

><p>Four hours later and the party was still swinging, and we'd been joined by Sky, Mia and Pippa. Despite both being from Hufflepuff Mia and Pippa had confided that they had been rooting for us. I was flattered by this news, despite the fact it was hardly a big surprise, Mia was still outraged at the news about the way Michael had reacted while she was in her coma, and Pippa was still finding it hard to forgive those Hufflepuff students who had thought the worst in me.<p>

Despite entering the party together I had hardly seen James since. Lily and Al had whisked him away the second he stepped into the common room – and I am pretty sure afterward he and Fred were conspiring to pull some prank to celebrate our win. I was on such a high right now I didn't even care if they blew up the whole castle. There had been a brief period in which I'd run into him whilst I was grabbing a butterbeer with Pippa, but we hadn't really spoken to each other – mainly because Pippa, still reeling from James rescuing her from Violet's taunts, spent the whole time showering him with compliments. It was sweet, the way she was so smitten with him and the way he treated her with respect and kindness. Then Fred was back and James and he walked away whispering and giggling together.

I was currently sitting with Sky and Roxy, laughing over one of Roxanne's childhood stories regarding James and his love of quidditch, then out of nowhere James was there.

'Hi girlies, what you talking about…' he asked, rather too sweetly.

'You' Rox said, wiggling her eyebrows at him.

'Oh about how awesome I am…'

'No, more about how amazed I am at today's win considering the first time you tried to play quidditch when we were little….' She teased, sticking her tongue out at him.

'Hey, I was like five years old! And it was Teddy's fault, he hexed that bludger to follow me everywhere I went. It was terrifying!'

'Yeah, yeah excuses excuses….still, you are the only one of us that has ever gotten stuck up a tree…'

'Oh shut your face' he said, sticking his tongue out at her teasingly.

'Whatever, Sky and I need to go and see Brooke about something anyway – so we'll leave Hope in your capable hands, make sure you look after her.' Roxy said, as she stood up and practically dragged Sky away.

Oh Roxy, so good at nearly everything – except being subtle. And since he wasn't an idiot, James clearly saw through their quick exit and suddenly looked slightly embarrassed and uncomfortable.

'Roxy's really smooth eh?' he finally said.

'Yeah, your cousin is good at many things – but like you, subtle is not her style.'

'Hey, what do you mean like me?' he asked, clutching his chest in mock agony.

'Oh come on, you are acting far too sweetly and innocently for it to actually be the case….but whatever you and Fred have done, I couldn't care right now. I am still on a high' I said, smiling kindly at him and patting the empty space now next to me.

James bounded over to the seat instantly, not needing more than the invitation to join me.

'Ok one, you know Fred and I too well…two, you must be in a good mood. You LOVE giving us detentions, or at least a stern telling off.' He joked, as he nudged me gently with his shoulder.

'Well you play right into my hands with that one Potter boy, if you and Fred didn't keep breaking rules I wouldn't be able to keep giving you detentions.'

'Oh please, the power has gone to your head. You are power crazy' he teased.

'I am not, you're just a trouble magnet' I said, playfully shoving him.

Suddenly his expression changed from playful to pure delight.

'What?' I asked, a little bewildered and embarrassed by this sudden shift. It was amazing how quickly the mood could change from teasing to electric tension when James was around.

'Nothing, you're just wearing your bracelet that is all…' he mumbled embarrassed.

'Of course I am…I told you, I love it. And if you insist that I keep it, then I am going to insist on wearing it every chance I can get – especially on match days.' I explained, smiling at him and feeling my face flame.

'So…' he said, the mood changing again as I sensed his serious tone, 'what did Michael say to you earlier?' he asked, clearly unsure of whether or not he should raise this.

'To apologise…well kind of. I think he was looking for a second chance…'

'Would you consider it?' he questioned tentatively.

'No, and I think I made that clear to him…and well, then he said some things that kind of hurt. But I don't really want to dwell on that. I am just glad we beat his team though.' I explained, trying not to give too much away. I really didn't want to tell James about what Michael had said about me and him, especially because I was still so insure about the points he'd raised.

'It is ok, you don't need to tell me. You don't need to answer the next question I have either, but I have to ask…what happened between the two of you, I mean before the whole Mia comment? I've heard a lot of rumours, and I've been worried about some of them…' he said, trailing off – clearly unsure of whether he should be talking about this to me, but clearly concerned about me.

I shrugged as I tried to work out what to say and how much to tell him.

'We had a disagreement about how far I was willing to go with him. He got angry about it and accused me of being a tease…'

'He_ what_?'

'Relax James, it doesn't matter. I mean he said some pretty hurtful things, but honestly the whole thing wasn't anything I couldn't handle.' I said, trying to calm the anger that had clearly sparked within him.

'Did he try to push you into anything you didn't want to do? I swear if he touched you in any way you weren't comfortable with I will kill him!' he spat at me.

Now I felt myself getting angry. Seriously why did he think he needed to fight my battles for me? And what gave him the right to go and knock Michael out anyway? And it was hardly as if James himself was free from guilt when it came to hurting me.

'Oh no you will not James. Jeez what is it with you? I mean Ollie and Fred are bad enough as well…why do you all think I can't handle myself? I've done a pretty good job of it so far…'

'I know that Hope, but I don't want anyone to hurt you or anything to happen to you, I ju-'

'Look I know you want to protect me, and that is sweet, and I am grateful for everything you've done for me in the last month James, I really am, but I am not a princess in a tower who needs rescuing. I am a fully functioning person, who knows how to ask for help when she needs it. As for Michael, I can handle it, he didn't force himself on me – he just got a bit carried away with himself. The situation is over, I've dealt with it, and everything is good. Ok?' I explained, trying to be stern while at the say time trying to show I was grateful his heart was in the right place.

'Ok, I promise I will let you fight your own battles.' He said after being silent for a few seconds.

'Thank you' I said, reaching over and squeezing his hand.

'Hope, I was wondering…if after the exams you might want to-' just as James was about to ask whatever it was he was going to ask a rather dishevelled looking Professor Longbottom came rushing over with Ollie in tow.

Neville looked on edge and nervous, with a hint of sadness in his eyes too. And as he looked at me I saw pity and compassion in them too.

'Miss Wood, I am sorry to intrude but I am going to have to ask you and your brother to please accompany me to the Headmistress' office.'

'Why?' I asked, immediately on edge. Something was wrong, I could tell by the way he was acting

'I am sorry, it is about your mother…but really, this is a matter that needs to be discussed in private.'


	28. Chapter 28

**Hi guys, sorry it took this so long to be posted. I had writers block, even though I knew where I wanted this chapter to go I just couldn't get it out! Then I had uni work to do...but finally here it is, and I am actually pretty happy with the way this chapter turned out.**

**This chapter jumps from both POV's - hope you enjoy, drop me a review if you have a chance, I really love them!**

**Disclaimer - Harry Potter is obviously not mine!**

* * *

><p><strong>James POV<strong>

If you'd have asked me a month ago how my summer holiday was going to start I'd have probably said I'd be messing about with Fred, Scorpius and Al, getting in some quidditch playing time and if I was lucky seeing Hope occasionally. I would not, however, think it would be starting like this – sitting here staring at a piece of paper trying to start a letter to Hope. I'd written to her right after she left on the day of the quidditch match, but since then I'd been putting off writing to her. It wasn't that I didn't want to write to her – I really did – but I just didn't know what to say. I mean how do you even start writing something meaningful to the girl you love when her mother is currently in a coma in hospital as a result of an unknown curse?

Growling in frustration I balled the paper up in annoyance. How had everything gone so wrong? When Neville came up to us during the party I had been about to ask her out, I knew it was rash and probably way too soon, but I had been worried that the separation over the summer might prove fatal to any headway I had made over the last month. Now that all felt so unimportant and stupid.

I dreaded to think of how her and Ollie were coping. They were such a tight knit family and they'd been so excited about being with their family over the summer. Now they were spending all their time in hospital at Katie's bedside. Plus I knew Hope well enough to know she'd be freaking out, putting pressure on herself. According to Roxanne she was even refusing to go home half the time, and when she was home she was doing housework.

This was why I couldn't write to her. What good were words going to do really? She deserved more, but I couldn't figure out what.

Realising I wasn't going to get anywhere sitting here like this I stood angrily, deciding that a run might help to clear my head.

Xxx

I stood outside of the door and pondered whether to knock. I was still trying to work out if this was a good idea, especially since it had come to me whilst I was running. Finally giving in to it I walked up the drive and rang the familiar buzzer. Aunt Hermione answered the door almost straight away and a warm smile spread across her face when she saw me.

'James what a lovely surprise, I'm afraid Rose and Hugo are out at the moment though.'

'That is ok, it was actually you I wanted to speak to Aunt Hermione…' I said, hoping she'd be ok with this.

'Oh ok, come in.'

Once inside I followed her into the living room and took a seat across from her.

'So what can I help you with?' she asked, smiling at me, although it was clear she was a little confused about my presence here. This was hardly surprising, I was probably the least likely of the Potter kids to turn up at her house and ask for her help.

'I was hoping you could help me find a book for Hope…' I said trailing off

'What do you mean by find a book for Hope?'

'Well you know her mum is in the hospital right now, and Hope's spending a lot of time there. I wanted to send her something, something that might help her find a little release while she's there and be meaningful as well. And she loves to read…the only trouble is I'm not brilliant at this kind of thing….' I tried to explain.

Aunt Hermione's eyes softened her voice was full of pride when she eventually spoke.

'James, you don't give yourself enough credit when it comes to this being good at books…you read _Crime and Punishment_ in two days. You read Tolstoy on holiday last year, you are good at this kind of thing.'

'Look yeah ok I can and do read in the summer, but that isn't really what I mean. The Tolstoy stuff isn't really going to help me here because Hope's read that kind of stuff, and her Granddad is an English Lit lecturer so she has access to that kind of thing. I was thinking of something more obscure…' I said, trying to explain.

'Ok well I have an idea, which I think would be really great.' She said as she got up and walked to her bookshelf, picking up three books she walked over and passed them too me, 'these are three fiction books on the legend of Merlin, they were written by the muggles author Mary Stewart and I loved them when I was Hope's age….'

'Great so if I find a copy of these at the muggles bookstore you think they'll do the trick?'

Aunt Hermione studied me for a moment and then asked, 'why do you want to send Hope these books James?'

'Because she's one of the best people I know and I want to do something for her, to make her know she's not alone…' I said, trying to explain as best I could without giving away exactly how I felt.

Hermione smiled at me for a few seconds before speaking.

'You might not know this James, but you are a really good person. And because I agree with what you just said and because it was so nice to hear you say it, I'll let you take my copy of those books to give to Hope.'

'Really?'

'Yes really, now do you want a cup of tea while you are here?'

Xxx

When I got home that afternoon I dashed up to my room and sat down at my desk, eager to send the books to Hope. On my way home I'd stopped by at a music store and picked up a couple of books on the history of the piano for Ollie, I wasn't sure if that would really be his thing, but I knew he loved to play the instrument and I didn't feel right sending something to Hope and not Ollie. After all, they would both be hurting.

Getting out my quill I took a deep breath and started writing what I needed to say, what I'd been wanting to say to her all summer.

_Dear Hope_

_I'm sorry I haven't written to you recently, but I've been unsure of what to say. I wish there was something, anything, I could do to make this easier for you and your family but I know there is nothing which will ease the pain. However, please know that I am here for you – whenever and whatever you need. _

_I hope the enclosed gifts bring some comfort to you and Ollie. I thought you might want to read yours too your mother, I heard that muggles believe that reading can be beneficial for coma patients._

_Hope, please do not hesitate to contact me if you need me, I will always come when you ask me too – I will be constant._

_Please tell your family I am keeping them in my thoughts._

_Always _

_James _

_x_

_ps sorry your books are a bit battered, they were originally my Aunt Hermione's _

After sending my owl, Jepson, to deliver the letter I flopped back on my bed, my thoughts completely focused on a brown curly haired girl with sparkling blue eyes.

Xxx

**Hope's POV**

'Hope, honey you should go home. You've been here since last night' my dad said, as he squeezed my shoulder waking me from my fitful nap.

'I'd rather stay…' I replied, stretching in my chair.

'Hope, you're clearly tired. Go home, have a sleep, freshen up…then come back later, you only need to be gone for a few hours. And if something happens or there is any change I'll let you know right away.' Dad said, trying to persuade me, even though he knew he wouldn't be able too.

'No, honestly I am fine. I'll go home in a couple of hours, but right now I'll just go get some coffee.' I said as I rose from my seat and headed to the cafeteria downstairs. As I made my way down plenty of people stopped me to ask how my mum was, and more sent me sympathetic glances. Recently this had really started to irritate me and I had to remind myself that these people worked and were friends with my mum, not to mention they had known Ollie and I all our lives, so they were worried about us.

On reaching the cafeteria Harriett, the kind aged lady who worked behind the counter, smiled at me and started making my coffee before I'd even put my request in.

'How is your mother this afternoon?' she enquired as I came to stand on the opposite side of the counter.

'No change.' I replied, trying not to let my thoughts fixate on the fact that there had been no change to my mother since she had been cursed. The longer this went on, the more I started to despair and lose hope that she would ever wake up. The healers had been trying everything, but all they seemed to be able to agree on was the fact that the one person with the skill to heal my mother, was my mother.

'Your mother is brave and strong dear, she'll be ok. You'll see.' Harriet replied, smiling reassuringly at me, 'now can I get you anything else? Any food?'

I shook my head, not feeling in the slightest bit hungry. However Harriet continued to push the issue, 'You're not going to help your mother get better by refusing to eat, come on – it is on the house.'

'Honestly I am fine, my grandparents and little brother will be back soon – we'll eat then.'

I could tell Harriet still wasn't convinced, but she dropped the subject. Then when I tried to pay her for my coffee, she flat out refused to take it. After finally giving up trying to pay her, I started heading back to my mum's room only to nearly collide with Ollie.

'Ol what are you doing down here?' I asked

'Dad said you'd be here, we've got a parcel. I think it might be from James…' He explained.

At the mention of James I swear my heart jumped. With everything that had happened recently I hadn't really thought about him, except for those few moments between waking and sleeping when my fingers would encircle the bracelet on my wrist and I'd allow myself a few seconds to pretend when I woke it would still be the day of the quidditch match. Apart from the letter he'd sent me right after mum had been cursed, I hadn't heard from him at all, so this seemed slightly out of the blue.

Finally coming to my senses I said 'Ok, come outside with me and I'll open it.'

Xxx

I couldn't believe James had been so sweet, not just to me but to Ollie. The gesture of sending the books to us was incredibly sweet, and for the first time in a while I felt a fleeting moment of happiness, before the image of my mother laying in her hospitable bed fluttered back into my mind.

'I should write to him…' I muttered.

'They have paper in the gift shop…' Ollie suggested.

I nodded, smiled at Ollie and put my arm around him squeezing him tight. Recently I'd noticed just how young he still was. This wasn't fair, if we lost our mother now then we'd miss out on so much….no, do not think like that I scolded myself. We sat in silence for a while until Ollie said he was ready to go to see mum. I squeezed his shoulder and told him I'd be there soon, but before I went back to the vigil by my mother's bedside I needed to write to James.

Xxx

**James' POV**

I'd been in bed for about a half an hour when I heard tapping at my window. Jumping up I flung open my window to allow Jespon into my room. He nipped me affectionately as I went to untie a letter from around his leg. I put some treats out for him, ruffled his head and then dived back onto my bed – eager to see what Hope had said. To be honest I hadn't expected a reply at all, so even if her letter was only short, it was something.

Ripping the envelope my eyes took in her words hungrily.

_Dear James_

_I cannot thank you enough for what you did today. Sending those books to Ollie and I was probably the best thing you could have done for us right now, and you are right – muggles do say that reading to someone in a coma helps, so I shall definitely try that. I also want to thank you for how thoughtful they were, you must have put a lot of effort into getting us both something that would bring us some small amount of pleasure during all the pain right now. I am glad you thought of Ollie too, he has taken this so hard and I confess it has made me realise just how young he is. He can be so protective and smart and sure of himself, that sometimes I forget he is younger than me. _

_Thank you for reassuring me that you will always be there, but you didn't have too. I know you care about me James, and I know when I need you you'll come – you are indeed constant._

_Give my love to your family, and I look forward to seeing you soon, when all this pain is just a memory._

_Love _

_Hope_

_x_

Putting the letter down on my nightstand I sighed. Hope had clearly been touched by the presents, and she was holding up despite everything – but I couldn't help sensing she was holding back. She was obviously worried that if she let her guard down and really admitted how much she was hurting right now she'd fall apart. Why did she think she had to be strong for everyone? I could understand she wanted to be strong for her family, but who was being strong for her?

Right then I decided that I had to see how. Hope deserved to have someone she could let her guard down with – and I was determined to give that to her. Throwing back the covers I pulled on my jeans and a jumper, and bounded downstairs – eager to convince my parents to let me see Hope.

'James, honey what are you doing up? I thought you were having an early night?' My mum asked, looking up from her glass of wine and her book as I walked into the living room.

'I need to see Hope…' I replied

'Now?' My mum asked, arching an eyebrow in surprise.

'Yes, I need to see her now.' I confirmed, knowing what was coming next.

'Do you not think it might be better to stay away, give her some space with her family…' my dad said, looking up from the case work he was doing.

'No, I don't. Look I've stayed away, but Hope is my friend and she needs me.'

'James-'

'-Don't James me dad, I know it might seem a little irrational but I'm not just going to sit here pretending everything is ok, when Hope is trying to be strong for her family, all the while not having anyone she can cry too.' I said, trying desperately to make my point clear.

My parents both stared at me for a few minutes, and then to my surprise my mum's eyes softened.

'I agree with you James, Hope might need someone she feels she can turn too – someone who isn't related to her or your Uncle George and Aunt Angelina. But do you not think it might be better waiting until the morning?' She asked

'No, I need to see her now.'

'We don't even know if she'll be at the hospital or at home right now…' my dad pointed out.

'I don't care, I'll check both.' I said undeterred.

Mum and dad shared a look, and in that instance I knew I had won.

'Well I guess I'll apparate you then.' My mum said, putting down her glass and her book, taking her glasses off and coming to grab my hand – then before I knew it we were away.

Xxx

We landed outside St Mungo's and walked inside and up to the receptionist without speaking a word to each other. When the receptionist pointed us towards the room I felt my heartbeat start to rise. What if I was wrong and Hope didn't want me here? What if this was a huge mistake?

When we reached the room I inhaled nervously and then shooting my mum a nervous glance I knocked on the door and entered. On walking into the room I first noticed Katie. I don't know what I was expecting but not this, she looked so peaceful – as if she was merely sleeping. Then I noticed Oliver, who was walking towards us, rubbing a hand over his tired face.

'Ginny, James' he said, clearly surprised to see us – but, I noted with relief, he did not seem angry or upset by our sudden appearance.

'I came to see Hope…' I said, realising how pathetic that might sound, but again to my relief Oliver actually smiled at me.

'James Potter, I cannot tell you how happy I am to hear you say that.' He said

'You are?' I asked, bewildered.

'Yes, she might listen to you and actually head home and sleep for a while – or at least eat.' Oliver explained, the worry for his daughter clear on his face.

Fat chance of that, I thought. If the reason why Oliver wanted to enlist my help getting Hope to do something hadn't been so serious, I'd have laughed at the absurd idea of me being able to get the stubborn willed Wood girl to do anything.

Suddenly I realised Hope wasn't in the room, but according to her dad she wasn't at home either…so where was she? As if reading my mind Oliver said, 'she's in the chapel at the moment.'

Nodding I turned to leave, but my mother called to me and I turned round to look at her.

'I'll wait here for you, why not suggest to Hope that she stays the night with us, providing that is ok with you of course Oliver?' She asked, her eyes flickering to him for approval.

Oliver looked at her, clearly grateful for the offer and said, 'yes, yes of course.'

I merely nodded and walked out the room in search of the chapel.

Xxx

**Hope's POV**

Tonight, like every night since this whole mess had happened, I could be found in the chapel. Kneeling there at the alter sending up a silent prayer to God to help my mother. Roxanne and Fred had always told me they envied me my faith in a higher being, and even James had said once he'd love to be as sure as I was about a higher power – and I'd always said I didn't know how we could deny there was something more. After all hadn't Harry Potter had enough experiences with people from the beyond to confirm there was something after death…but tonight my faith was deserting me. If there was a higher being how could I keep believing he was all good, when these evil things could happen.

But, because I was stubborn I refused to give in to the dark bitterness….my name was Hope, and I would not give up hope. So pushing my hands together again I closed my eyes and started praying again. Surely if I prayed hard enough it would help, it would save my mother.

I'd been praying silently for about five minutes, my eyes squeezed tightly shut when I felt someone come and kneel beside me. I opened my eyes expecting to see my dad, but was well and truly flabbergast to see James kneeling next to me, his eyes studying me softly.

'James…' I finally managed to croak out.

'Hey stranger' he said, his eyes never moving from my face.

'What…what are you doing here?' I spluttered, still trying to regain any kind of train of thought. All my brain was currently doing was going 'he's here, he's here, he's actually here.'

'I'm here for you, and I am sorry – I should have come weeks ago.' He said, before leaning in and bringing me in for a bone crushing hug.

I'd spent so much time recently staying strong, trying not to let my inner turmoil show to my family – and trying not to break down at my constant need to tell concerned people there was no change, so for a second I wanted to fight the crushing emotion that swept over me when James pulled me into his arms. But then my heart reminded me this was James – the boy who had held me while I cried in the hospital the night he'd saved Ollie, the boy who sat with me for hours after Michael asked me if I'd attacked Mia, the boy who gave me the most beautiful bracelet, the boy who only this afternoon had sent me books to read to my mother and said he was my constant. And now here he was, holding me tightly and just knowing I needed someone who would let me – in my own time – sort through the emotions I'd kept at bay for so long. I needed this, I needed him, and with that realisation I squeezed him to me like he as a lifeline and I was drowning, and I finally let my tears fall.

The sobs rocked through my body and I couldn't help the cries that escaped my mouth, and all the while James held me and rocked me. Never once showing any signs of wanting to run, but instead stroking my hair and kissing my forehead and saying over and over again, 'I am here, let it out, it is going to be ok, I won't leave you, it will all be alright.'

Finally my tears dried and I was left with silent sobs. James pulled back to look at me and smiled sadly at me, running a finger down my cheek, and despite everything going on my body shuddered in response to his gentle touch.

'When was the last time you ate Hope?' he questioned softly.

I chewed my lip and thought about lying, but as I closed my eyes and tried to regain my sense of composure I realised I didn't have to lie to him and I didn't want to. He was here for me, he'd said so…

'I don't really remember.'

'And when did you last sleep in an actual bed?'

'About a week ago…'

James' eyes hardened a little at my words, but his hand carried on running soothing patterned on my cheek.

'Hope, you're not going to help your mother by making yourself ill. My mother and I would like you to come home with us tonight, you can take my bed and-'

'-I can't, I couldn't impose…' I said, panicking at the idea of leaving the hospital. I had to be here, if I wasn't how could I help.

'Hope Katherine Wood do not make me kidnap you against your will. You won't be imposing, you'd be a welcome guest. And you needn't stay for long – just a few hours.' He said, as he looked at me pleadingly.

Suddenly I felt it all, how tired I was, how much I wanted someone to just take care of me for a few hours, how much I needed to be separated from everything that reminded me of the current situation for a while. And then I found myself nodding and saying, 'Ok, just for a couple of hours.'

Xxx

I'd never seen James' house before and even in my dazed and depressed state I vaguely noted how sweet and impressive their cottage was. After I'd eaten James had asked me if I wanted to be shown around, or if I'd rather sleep. And as tempted as I'd usually be by the prospect of seeing the Potter library, I just didn't have the energy. I think letting out my tears onto James' shirt had finally brought home just how shattered I was, and right now all I wanted to do was curl into a bed, fall asleep and then wake up and go back to my mother.

'Thank you for the offer, but I think I would rather just go to bed' I said, shooting him a small grateful smile.

'Ok, you're gonna take my bed and I'm gonna have the guestroom because it's currently full of dad's case work' he muttered, as he rose to his feet and held out his hand to help me up.

He kept hold of my hand as he guided me up the stairs and then through the first door on the right.

I wasn't sure what I was expecting from James Potter's room, but I don't think it was this. The room itself was incredibly tidy – everything had a place. Clearly Potter was a neat freak. There were quidditch posters on the wall, a framed photo of our quidditch team, and books, a whole bookshelf full of books. I wanted to go over and thumb through what he had, but I didn't have the energy – plus I didn't want to be rude by prying into his private things. I was grateful he was letting me stay here, I didn't want to insult his kindness by being nosy.

He let go of my hand when we entered and walked up to a chest of draws. Pulling out an old quidditch shirt and some sweat pants he handed them to me and said, 'I thought you might like these, to sleep in…'

I smiled gratefully at him and took them out of his hands. He smiled back at me and walked over to a door in the corner, opening it he said, 'This is my personal bathroom, there is a spare toothbrush in the cupboard you are welcome to use.'

'Thank you' I whispered, fighting back the urge to cry at his generosity and his keenness to help me.

'Don't mention it.' He said, shooting me a dazzling Potter smile, 'I'll leave you to it – but if you need anything, I'll be in the room on the top floor.'

Suddenly I felt a desperate fear spread over me. No, he couldn't leave, I didn't want him too.

'Stay.' I whispered

'What?' he asked, straining to hear me I am sure.

'Please don't go, stay with me tonight – please. I don't want to be alone, I can't be….' I begged, my eyes boring into his as I felt the panicked tears build up behind my eyes.

'Ssshhhh' he murmured as he pulled me into his arms, 'of course if you want me to stay I will.'

I thought about clarifying that I was only talking about sleeping, there would be no funny business, but then I remembered who this was and I knew I didn't have to. James was not looking to take advantage of me. Pulling out of his embrace I took the clothes he'd given me to sleep in and headed into his bathroom.

On leaving the bathroom after I'd changed, washed my face and cleaned my teeth I found James already in his bed, taking up the side closest to the wall. He smiled when he was me and scooted over a little.

I climbed in next to him and noticed the letter I'd written to him earlier that day was on his bedside cabinet. Somewhere in the back of my mind I registered part of me was happy about this, before I closed my eyes and exhaled – trying to shut my mind down so I could fall asleep and avoid the nightmares about my mother never waking up. However all I could see was her body in that bed and all I could think about was what would happen to us if she didn't wake up.

James must have sensed what I was thinking about because he put his arm around me and pulled me into his embrace. This helped to block out the dark thoughts as I became all too aware that I was pulled up flush against him. My butt right next to a certain part of his body I really shouldn't have been thinking about, then his lips were just above my ear as he whispered in the dark 'sleep now Wood.' His breathe tickled my ear, causing me to shiver at the intensity of the tingle that went down my body with his proximity, before I turned in his arms so we were face to face, I buried my own in his shoulder and inhaled the scent of him as I let the sleep I'd fought of for days wash over me.

Xxx

**James' POV**

After that night Hope started coming over to my house one night a week, which meant I could be sure that she at least ate one good meal and had one full night's sleep in seven days. Whenever she stayed over, she still asked me to stay with her, which I always agreed too. Although being that close to her was killing me. I would never dream of trying anything on with her when she was so vulnerable, but still I couldn't help the uncomfortable way my body sometimes reacted to being that close to her. Thank Merlin she'd never noticed, or realised the showers I took after holding her all night were usually cold ones.

My mum wasn't thrilled about the sleeping arrangements. On the first morning she had gone ballistic at me, although she accepted I was trustworthy enough not to take advantage of any girl. She also grudgingly accepted that if Hope asked me to stay I felt I couldn't say no – it comforted her and helped to get the rest she needed, what was so harmful about that?

A month later, when Hope came over on the first day in August I took her for an evening picnic by the river, in the woods next to our house. I had wanted to do something extra special for her, I knew she was starting to really lose hope that her mother's condition would we'd eaten a couple of sandwiches though I noticed a more positive change in her character than had been there over the last few weeks.

'What's going on, you seem a lot happier than you have lately?' I asked, popping a couple of crisps in my mouth.

Hope turned to me, her eyes sparkling more than they had recently, 'they think my mum might be coming round. The healer that checked on her this afternoon said her vitals had improved and she seemed to be showing more brain activity.'

'What, Hope that is wonderful news!' I said suddenly sitting up to attention, 'why didn't you say anything earlier?'

Hope shrugged, 'It might not be anything, besides I wanted to wait until we had some time to ourselves.'

I smiled at her and bumped her shoulder playfully. She smiled at me, but suddenly she seemed distracted.

'Hey what is it?' I asked, reaching for her hand.

She turned and looked at me with determined eyes.

'I'm going to do something, please promise me you won't read anything into it, and you won't bring it up again and you'll just put it down to the fact that I am hurting right now…' she babbled

'What? Hope I have no idea what you are talking about' I said, perplexed.

'Please just promise me you won't question anything or read anything into what I am about to do?' she said more firmly, her eyes boring into mine.

'Of course I promise Hope, but I still have no idea what you're talk-'

I didn't get to finish my sentence, as Hope moved in and within a second her lips were on mine. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think, I couldn't believe this was happening. I wasn't sure what to do, on the inside my heart was screaming in triumph, but my brain was also urging me not to respond, not to deep the kiss – not when Hope was hurting. But then her hands were in my hair and her lips moved against mine. I was just about to lose all control and kiss her senseless whether it was the right thing to do or not when she pulled away, her eyes shining and her face flushed.

I opened my mouth to speak but she put her finger to my lips, smiling at me shyly. She slowly pulled her finger away from my lips and caressed my chin with her hand.

Suddenly we heard movement through the trees and Hope jumped apart from me just as my mother came into the clearing.

'Hope it is your mother, she is awake'


	29. Chapter 29

**Sorry for the delay guys – uni work is crazy at the moment. I hope you like this chapter, I love some parts of it…once I got into some of the Hope/James bits they just wrote themselves.**

**Just a little heads up on mini spoilers for the next few chapters….**

**Next chapter I am going to be resolving some of the Michael issues – I never wanted him to be a truly terrible character, and I think him and Hope need some proper closure (and any excuse for James to get a little jealous).**

**Thank you so much to everyone who kept with this story to this point, I know it has been very up and down and I've thrown some curve balls your way – but that is life right, nothing goes to plan? Especially not with teenagers! Plus the slow James and Hope progress, and their slightly self-destructive actions setting them back is all part of what I envisioned them having to go through to get to the stage where they'd both just accept they loved each other. So looking forward to writing the next couple of chapters! **

**As always, reviews are most appreciated!**

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><p><strong>Hope's POV<strong>

Since my mother woke up I'd only been able to see James once, when his family came to the hospital to visit her – and we hadn't had a chance to talk about what was happening between us. Although I still wasn't sure what was happening between us, or how I felt about kissing him. I'd known when I did it that it might only confuse me more, but in that moment the wanting and desire and just complete affection I had for him and everything he'd done for me over the summer had won out – so I'd asked him not to question me about it, to not think it was anything other than me seeking comfort, and then I'd leaned in and kissed him. And true to his word James hadn't brought it up, even in the letters he'd written to me throughout the rest of the summer – and I was both grateful for that and extremely frustrated and unsure.

How did he feel about the kiss? Maybe he'd hated it and changed his mind about our relationship? Maybe he'd moved on? Maybe he was just respecting the promise he made to me? These were just some of the questions that kept twirling round and around in my mind.

But today my unease about it all was worse than ever, as I faced the prospect of spending the evening with all his family at his grandparent's house, before heading off back to Hogwart's tomorrow. Ollie and I were gate-crashing the annual Weasley/Potter family gathering and sleepover at the Weasley Burrow because my mother still wasn't 100% alright. Despite having come out of her coma well over a month ago, mum was still having trouble with her motor skills – and therefore both my parents had decided that it wasn't practical for them to drop us off at Kings Cross this year, which had disappointed them, although the fact that Harry Potter would be one of our chaperones eased some of the tension they'd both been carrying around with them, seeing as how whoever cursed my mother was still at large.

Finally the moment of truth arrived when Uncle George knocked on the door and came bursting into our house, chattering away and discussing some quidditch matches with my dad.

'Ollie, Hope…looking forward to a new school year and a crazy night with the Weasley clan tonight?' He asked smiling at us with that good natured twinkle in his eye that had always managed to ease any woe I had growing up.

I smiled gratefully at him, feeling a little bit of the tension about seeing James leave me as I was reminded that I wouldn't just be seeing him, but my best friends and my Godparents too.

'You bet ya.' Ollie said.

'Yep, you know I how much of a swot I am Uncle George, I am surprised you even have to ask if I am looking forward to going back to school.' I joked, as I came put my arm around Ollie and ruffled his hair a little.

'Great, well whenever you guys are ready I've brought the car, have to take it to mum and dad's so it is ready and waiting for tomorrow – but don't worry, Angelina will be driving tomorrow…she was a bit worried about me driving here to be honest, especially after that incident last year…' George said, trailing off as Ollie and I shared an amused look.

The Weasley family were good at a lot of things, but muggles driving was something they were all notoriously bad at. Dad often joked you were taking your life in your own hands if you got into a car with George.

'George, you realise I am putting my children in your hands here – make sure you drive safely.' Dad half joked, half pleaded at his best friend.

Ollie and I merely laughed, before I winked at my dad and said 'Dad don't be such a kill joy, you know I like living life on the edge…'

Dad laughed at my comment, before heading outside to help my mother out into the yard so that they could say goodbye to us and wave us off.

Grabbing my case and Tolstoy's cage I took a deep breath and thought to myself 'time to face the music and Potter, no going back now Wood so man up.'

* * *

><p>When the car pulled to a stop outside of burrow I felt my heartbeat a little faster against my chest, but as I stepped out of the car I squared my shoulders – determined to relax and not to freak out about seeing James.<p>

As I entered the house it turned out I was getting worked up before I needed too anyway neither as James, nor any of his siblings or cousins were around. Mrs Weasley explained that all her grandchildren had disappeared this morning and hadn't been seen since, the adult however were all gathered in the living room chattering away happily. When Ollie and I entered the chatter died down and was replaced by warm, affectionate welcomes that made me blush – especially the welcome I received from Ginny Weasley-Potter, who stood up, came forward and gave me a massive hug.

'Hope dear, so lovely to see you again. James will be so annoyed that you came while he was out, Lilly too, I know the two of them were eager to see you.' She said as she let me go and smiled kindly at me.

'Thanks' I said, feeling my face flush. Thankfully I think George and Angelina both realised how uncomfortable I was feeling by this added attention and they both came to my rescue.

'Well now, the two of you must be tired after your journey.' Angelina said coming forward and clasping hands with Ollie and I, 'George will put the kettle on while I show the two of you to the rooms you'll be in tonight, then you can wash up a little, I'm surely you'll want too after spending a couple of hours in a car my husband was driving…' And then she practically dragged us upstairs.

* * *

><p>Half an hour later I was seated on the floor by the fire in the living room, flicking through my DADA course book trying to refresh my memory while sipping a cup of tea and eating fruit cake when the front door opened and the volume suddenly went up a notch.<p>

'I swear Albus you are so lucky I haven't killed you already, I am going to smell like fish for the rest of the day-' I heard James complain, his voice conveying a certain amount of annoyance at his little brother for whatever he'd done.

'-be an improvement if you ask me' I heard Fred mutter before a bit of racket and Fred protesting at James to stop whatever he was doing.

'Seriously boys, can't you knock it off for two-' suddenly Roxy sentence died in her throat as she pushed open the door to the living room, took in Ollie and I sitting there and cried out happily '-Hope, Ollie you are here!' and ran forward to hug me and then Ollie.

'Miss Wood, Master Wood great to see you' Fred chimmed in as he ran forward and grabbed me, spinning me, before grabbing Ollie in a hug and ruffling his hair affectionately.

The rest of the Wood/Weasley clan also all came forward, saying how happy they were to see us, asking how mum was doing and how dad was coping. James, who had stood there a little in shock when he first saw us kept himself at the back of the pack, then after everyone else was finished he went to Ollie first.

When he finally got to me his eyes met mine and a huge grin spread across his face, but there was clearly a bit of concern and perhaps apprehension there too. He opened his arms to me, inviting me in for a hug, and I felt myself smile as I found myself in his familiar arms.

'James…' I said

'Yeah?'

'Please don't take this the wrong way, but you stink' James let go of me laughing as he did so.

'Yeah, blame that on my little brother who thought it would be funny to throw a bucket of fish over me…'

'Why?' Ollie asked, looking mesmerised at this revelation. I guess it's safe to say he is back to his hero worship of James.

'Don't ask Ol, don't ask.' James said, throwing him a wide smile, before turning his eyes back to me. 'You ok?' he asked, as he ran his hand comfortingly down from my shoulder, travelling the length of my arms until he squeezed my hand, causing my skin to burn and tingle where he'd touched me.

'Yeah' I managed to breath out, annoyed at myself for making it clear he left me breathless.

He smiled at me and nodded before asking how my mum was.

I shrugged, 'Alright, a little improved, but no miracles yet. We're just taking every day as it comes.'

He nodded as he looked at me, 'is it true your dad is giving up quidditch?'

'Kind of. He's taking some time out while mum recovers, then he's going to move into coaching.' I explained.

'Is there anything I can do for you and Ollie?' James asked, obviously keen to help us however he could.

I shook my head lightly while smiling at him, my heart pounding in my chest and my affection towards him growing even more. Why had I been nervous about seeing him – he hadn't changed in the time we'd been apart, if anything he was even more keen to try and help make me feel better.

'James, you've done enough.'

He smiled at me then.

'Although' I said, a cheeky smile spreading across my face.

'Yes?' he said, an eager look crossing across his face that reminded me a bit of an adorable, over excited puppy.

'Well if you want to help me you could always go and shower…no offense but if you want to hang out with me tonight you're gonna have to de-fish yourself.'

James flung his head back and laughed heartily at that. When the laughter finally died away his eyes met mine again and I was pleased to note they still retained the humour he'd expressed a few moments ago.

'Alright, although some girls might get turned on by the dead fish smell.'

'I highly doubt that.' I responded, feeling all of my reservations fall away as I watched him bounce out of the room.

* * *

><p>When I finally retired to bed all of my fears from earlier today were forgotten. James hadn't changed, he was still the attentive, kind, concerned boy he'd been to me all summer. It had been lovely, hanging out with all my friends, playing games and daring each other. For the first time all summer I felt like I wasn't carrying a massive wait around on my shoulders – and even when Dom had pulled me aside to ask me if I'd heard the news that Michael was the new head boy, my good mood wasn't completely squashed.<p>

But now I was in bed I just couldn't sleep. Roxy and Lily who I was sharing a room with had been snoring for the last hour, but I couldn't drop off – thoughts of James jumped around in my head. I wanted to kiss him again, although the rational, sensible part of my head was telling me to weigh up the pros and cons of doing so, a bigger, more predatorily part of me just wanted to be get lost in his kisses forever. I wondered what his tongue would feel like in my mouth? What it would be like for his hands to have free reign over my body? Just thinking how my skin felt where his arms had left a trail earlier made me a little breathless. And how would it feel for my hands to be able to touch him anywhere? To run my fingers through his hair…these thoughts were both exhilarating, frightening and embarrassing. I'd never felt like that before, not even with Michael

It made everything worse to know that James was sleeping only a few doors away, and I found myself wishing we were sharing a bed like over the summer. I missed his arms around me, the comfort they offered. Although in my current state I wasn't sure it would be the wisest idea to be that close to James. Sighing I gave up to the idea of sleep – I was tired of thinking, I was tired of tossing and turning and I was tired of laying there hearing others doze peacefully. Throwing the covers off, I stood and stretched – grabbing my robe and heading downstairs.

I stumbled into the kitchen bleary eyed and switched on the light, then nearly jumped out my skin when I saw someone standing in the corner. Instinct took over and before I knew it my fist flew out and a punch landed on James' face.

He stumbled backwards holding his nose as blood started pouring down his face.

'Oh James, I'm sorry' I said rushing forward, moving his hand away to inspect the damage while muttering over and over again 'so, so, sorry'.

James for his part looked startled for a few minutes before his brain seemed to kick in again.

'Bloody hell Hope, were you trying to kill me? And where the hell did you learn to throw a right hook like that?' he asked, perhaps a little sternly, but his eyes darted playfully.

'Oh I am so sorry James, you just startled me. What were you doing lurking in the dark!' I said shoving him a little in the shoulder as I put a cold cloth to his face to try and ease the bleeding, 'my dad taught me how to throw a right hook like that over the summer…wanted to arm me against the Violet De Champs of this world.' I explained as I kept applying pressure to his nose.

'Well I think it is safe to say he succeeded in teaching you well. And FYI I was sitting in the dark because I happen to like it, it helps me brood.'

Raising an eyebrow at him I couldn't stop the laugh that escaped my lips at his comment.

'Please James, what would you have to brood about?' I questioned lightly.

'Oh you know, life, the universe, everything in it…' he joked, as he reached over and grabbed his wand, 'here try using this, it might be more effective at stopping the bleeding…'

'Why me, it is your wand?' I asked, although I took it out of his hand.

'You're better at this stuff than me, therefore I trust you'll do a better job of patching me up than I will. Plus it is the least you can do after you caused my current predicament.'

I swiftly said the healing spell and handed his wand back to him, muttering 'good as new' as I did so.

Suddenly annoyance flashed across his face and he asked me rather abruptly 'and just where is your wand anyway?'

'I left it in my room…'

'Hope you need to stop just leaving your wand anywhere-'

'-James it is not that big of a deal, I just didn't think I'd need it, I only came for a glass of milk.' I cut across him, my temper rising a little bit at his anger.

'-Not a big deal!? Hope, what if it hadn't have been me, what if it was an intruder-'

'-I think you're being a little over the to-'

'-it isn't safe right now, your mother's been a target, dad says you could be in danger, anything could happen to you, you need to stop being so careles-'

Now my temper was really rising and I couldn't hold back the frustration in my voice, 'oh stop being so bloody overprotective, I managed to kick your ass in about twenty seconds flat, I can take care of myself-'

'I'm not saying you can't look after yourself' James said as he stepped forward invading my personal space, his frustration clearly matching my own, 'I'm just saying to look after yourself you might want to carry your wand around with you. If I had of been an intruder I wouldn't have been so easy to surprise as I'd have been looking for someone to hurt. For Merlin's sake Hope, I'm not acting like this to piss you of…it's just….just…'

James trailed off as his hands came to rest on my hips, the distance between us virtually none existent anymore. My breath caught in my throat and suddenly my anger evaporated as a wholly different kind of emotion came over me.

'Just what?' I whisper, afraid that speaking too loudly would break the magic between us.

'It's just I care about you, the thought of something happening to you, someone hurting you…it kills me.' He said as he brought his forehead down to rest against mine.

I closed my eyes and savoured the moment, trying to etch into my memory the feeling of his hands on my hips, his forehead pressed to mine and his breath warming my face.

'Ok point taken, I'll start carrying my wand everywhere with me if it puts your mind at ease.' I finally said, my eyes opening to look into his as I spoke.

'Not really, I'll still worry about you, but at least then I'll know you are protected.' He replied as he released me and took a couple of steps back – although he seemed to war with himself as he did so. 'Now, did you say something about a glass of milk?'

* * *

><p>An hour later James and I were sat together on the coach, my head resting on his shoulder as I clutched my glass of milk and he made patterns on my knee with his fingers. Neither one of us questioned what was happening between us, what was changing, and neither one of us brought up the kiss – but it hung in the air between us, at least as far as I was concerned it did.<p>

'I've been meaning to ask you something.' He said eventually, moving his head so he could look at me.

Here it is, he's going to ask about it now and I'm not going to know what to say. Oh Merlin, oh Merlin…

'Yes' I finally managed to whisper, sounding a lot more confident than I actually was in that moment.

'Well I kind of have this idea for a present I want to do for my dad…he has no idea really about his family tree and where he comes from – and well, for a while I've been thinking it might be nice to kind of research and write his family tree for him…you know for his birthday or Christmas or something…and well, you're really good at researching and studying and history and all that stuff and I just wondered if you'd be willing to help me?' He looked down, blushing profusely.

That had not been what I was expecting, but as he explained what he wanted to do my heart had almost burst out of my chest in pride. What a beautiful and lovely thing to do for his father, to give him some form of family background and belonging.

His eyes were still cast downwards and he was now mumbling something about I didn't have to help him, about how he'd understand and how I was busy and how I might not want to, 'James' I said sternly as I placed my fingers below his chin and forced him to look at me, 'of course I'll help you.' And then without thinking I leaned forward placed my lips on his chastely and then moved away again 'it is a beautiful thing you want to do.'

James for his part didn't respond for a few minutes, but he looked at me with a mixture of wonder and affection, his eyes sometimes straying to my lips.

'Thank you' he finally said.

'Anytime' I replied as I leaned in and kissed him on the forehead, 'I'm going to head upstairs. Night James Sirius Potter'

'Night Hope Katherine Wood' he responded, but as I turned to get up he grabbed my wrist, stopping me. I turned to give him a questioning look but before I had a chance to do much he'd leaned in and placed his lips on mine in a quick, chaste kiss – mirroring the one I'd given him earlier. Neither one's being more than a friend might give to another friend, but each laced with so much more meaning than a mere friendly kiss. We needed to talk about what was happening between us, and soon, but for tonight those chaste kiss were enough. As far as I was concerned they spoke volumes about what was happening between us, about the shift we were encountering.

'Sleep well' he muttered as he let go of my wrist throwing me one of those all out incredible James smiles.

'I will' I said as I smiled at him one last time and turned to head upstairs – certain, that tonight I'd have another one of those confusing and all too real dreams about a certain son of the boy who lived.


	30. Chapter 30

**Quick turn around on chapter uploads – miracles do happen! Hopefully the next one shouldn't take ages, but I have so many essays at the moment I don't know if I'll have a chance to write it.**

**The next chapter however will be shorter, I wanted to add everything that was going to happen in that at the end of this one, but it just didn't flow right – so I figured it was better doing a shorter chapter next time than just trying tagging it onto this one. The next chapter though is gonna be well worth the reading! **

**As always reviews are much loved, they keep me writing and help with character development**

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><p><strong>Hope's POV<strong>

When I woke up the next morning I couldn't wipe the smile off my face as I remembered last night, and my heart fluttered at the prospect of seeing James this morning. After showering and getting dressed I bounded down the stairs, excited by the smell of pancakes and the promise of heading off for new school year.

'Morning Hope dear, take a seat and help yourself to whatever you like.' Mrs Weasley said as I entered the kitchen.

Smiling at her I sat on the empty seat between Dom and Hugo, but I was painfully aware that James eyes were boring into me a couple of seats away. Our eyes met briefly and I felt my face flush. Smiling to myself I leaned over and grabbed a couple of pancakes off the plate in the middle of the table and focused on my food, rather than my racing heart.

Throughout breakfast I chattered happily with Dominique about her place at the local wizard university where she was going to do a joint course on muggles studies and the history of magic. Occasionally I'd turn my attention to Hugo as well and we'd discuss what was happening in the quidditch playoffs and what he, Lois and Ollie already had planned for the new term. Throughout it all I was super aware of what James was discussing, none of which was particularly surprising or revealing. He and Fred were bouncing ideas off of each other about what stunt they could pull today – to which Ginny had made the suggestion that perhaps this year they should try not getting detention two seconds into the school year, which would be a miraculous stunt. James and Fred had just rolled their eyes at that suggestion and gone on to list some more ideas. Along with that he was teasing Lily about the fact it was the first year she would be able to go to Hogsmeade on the weekend, and how boys would be falling over themselves to ask her to accompany them. 'Not that I'll approve of any of them, or any of them will be good enough for you obviously' he'd said, winking at his little sister as she blushed. Every now and again our eyes would meet and he'd shoot me the most genuine, heart stopping, earth shattering smiles and I'd feel my body flushing hot all over and I'd have to look away, smiling to myself.

It was almost a relief when breakfast was over and we all had to pile out into the cars outside. While Ollie and I were piled into the car with Fred and Roxy and their parents, James went in the same car as his siblings and parents. Although I missed being in his company I was also relieved to have a bit of time apart from him. I desperately wanted to speak to him about what was happening between us, but the constant presences of our families and friends made it virtually impossible. On thinking about our joint friends my heart sank a little as well. If anything was going to happen between James and I, and I wasn't sure if it was, then our joint friends surely had to be considered. I mean what if we got together and it didn't work out? James was related to most of my best friends, by default surely they'd have to take his side.

'You alright?' Roxy said, leaning over and clasping my hand.

'Yeah, yeah. Just thinking.' I said, smiling at her for reassurances.

Roxy smiled at me, before asking rather excitedly 'now tell me, what is your grand quidditch plan for this year then?'

And just like that my anxiety over James was forgotten as I fell into conversation with Roxy.

* * *

><p>When we reached Kings Cross Ollie made it very clear to everyone that I love going first through the barrier – which they graciously let me do.<p>

When I opened my eyes on the other side my heart soared seeing the great steam train. This was it, after a pretty dismal summer I was going back to Hogwarts. A new school year had arrived.

'Penny for your thoughts?' James asked in my ear, causing me to jump. I hadn't noticed him, and his presences threw me a little.

Turning I smiled at him and shrugged, 'just thinking about last year and how dramatic it was. This year I am determined no drama…no crazy bitches trying to kill me or frame me for trying to kill people, no boyfriends being assholes, no certain boys being assholes…' I said, as I shot him a challenging smile.

James had the good grace to look bashful, but putting his arm around my shoulder he muttered my sentiment of no drama this year, before Fred came up to us and he stepped away from me a little.

'Oi Potter, get your mitts of Hope. You need to say goodbye to your parents and then we have an important task to take care off!' he said as he winked at us.

'Please whatever you do don't go to crazy, I don't want to have to give you both detention on the first day of term.' I said as I rolled my eyes at them.

'Us…what do you take us for?' James asked, feigning innocence.

'Yeah, you're speaking about us as if we get in trouble every other day…' Fred chimed in.

'Oh wait…' James said, right before Fred followed him by saying 'we do!'

Shaking my head at them and laughing at their antics I picked my bag up and shot them a stern look, 'whatever you do, behave. Now if you don't mind I'm off to find the prefects and face a certain Head Boy ex-boyfriend of mine.'

James' good humour faltered a little at the roundabout mention of Michael, but he didn't say anything. Perhaps he remembered my pleas with him to let me fight my own battles. He nodded his head once and told me to come find them when I was finished, a sentiment that Fred agreed with.

Smiling I nodded and said I would do, before turning away and heading off to face whatever Michael had to throw at me.

* * *

><p>The prefect meeting and patrols went smoothly enough, Michael acted like a complete professional. After he dismissed everyone however he asked me if I could stay behind for a couple of minutes. Sky froze at my side and I could feel her radiating anger, a completely new experience – Sky was usually nothing but nice to everyone, even when they might not deserve it.<p>

'It's ok, go find the others – I'll be there in a minute.' I whispered.

Sky looked at me, clearly torn, and asked me if I was sure. I nodded to her and shot her a reassuring smile as she existed the room.

When she was out of sight I turned to Michael.

'What do you want?' I asked, putting my arms around myself in an attempt to comfort myself. Although I had done my best to make Sky to believe I was ok with staying behind with Michael, I wasn't, not really. I wasn't sure my emotions could take another confrontation with him.

'How is your mother?' he asked, startling me.

Out of everything he could have said in that moment, that was not what I would have expected. And even more shocking was the look of genuine concern on his face.

'Ok I guess, she's alive…but she's not like she was.' I answered, as I shrugged.

'I'm sorry to hear that Hope, but she's strong like you, so I am sure she'll bounce back.' He said, smiling kindly me.

For a few seconds neither of us spoke and the silence made me tense up a little again. Finally Michael cleared his throat.

'Listen Hope, I wanted to apologise…for last year, for everything that happened between us. I was an absolute dick to you.' He said, the words obviously struggling to come out.

'Yeah, you were.' I said flatly, before softening a little and asking the question that I kept returning to when I thought of Michael, 'why did you do it Michael, act like that toward me? Ask me if I hurt Mia? I thought you loved me.'

'I did Hope, I did. Oh Merlin this is a mess…ok, that night, when you said you weren't sure that what had happened the night before was a mistake. Well I was confused, and angry, but also massively pissed off at myself for being so – and angry that I'd just assumed you were up for it, and well my anger exploded at you. I felt guilty the minute I walked away, but then you were in the hospital and then you were admitting you kissed James and everything I wanted to say, well, it kind of died in my throat.'

Letting in a breath I tried to process everything he was telling me. I guess I could understand that, kind of, not that I could really excuse his behaviour.

'And what about asking me about Mia?' I asked again, meeting his eyes as I waited for his answer.

'That I can't explain. I knew you couldn't have done it, that was what I was going to say to you, that was what I was waiting to say, but then when you appeared something weird happened and I swear it was like my mouth and my body were working against everything else – like I had no control over what was happening.'

'Like you were cursed?' I asked, my thoughts racing with possibilities and memories of whispers in corridors right before Mia fell. And then that statement, about how Michael had spent time with Violet….

'Yes, no, I don't know. It probably sounds crazy to you-'

'No it doesn't Michael. Trust me after last year I could well believe it.'

'Thank you' he said, shooting me a small smile.

Once again silence descended between us and I felt myself growing uncomfortable. I was just wondering if I could make my excuses now and leave to go and re-join my friends when Michael interrupted my thoughts.

'And I am sorry…for saying all that stuff about how James would only want you for the chase. That isn't true, I know it isn't true…I'm pretty sure everyone with eyes can see that isn't true…'

'What do you mean?'

'He is so obviously heads over heels in love with you…and you _care _about him too right?' he asked, clearly emphasising the word care so I wouldn't freak out or deny the claim.

'Michael, me and James, we're not…I mean we're…I-'

'-it is ok Hope, you don't have to explain. But for what it is worth, I think the two of you would be great together. And as for the two of us, I can't deny the fact that I loved you, that part of me still does…but we're just not…compatible in the same way. I know that now, but since we have prefect duties together and since I am Head Boy I would like it if we could be…civil to each other, even if we're not friends.' Michael said rushing to get out everything he clearly wanted to say.

'Michael' I stammered as I tried to work out the right thing to say, to do, 'thank you. I would like it if we could be friends, at least in some capacity.'

Michael's smile nearly split his face as he repeated the word friends. Then to my utter surprise I found myself leaning in and hugging him, feeling an invisible tension I hadn't realised was there leave my body.

'For what it is worth, I did really care about you Michael' I whispered as we pulled away.

He nodded rather sadly and said, 'I know, but I was never going to be him…but look on the bright side, pigs will start flying and the earth will stop spinning now…you know, because you said that is what would happen if you and James ever had anything to get in the middle of. Turns out the two of you are an epic love story after all.'

'I don't know about that.' I muttered under my breath.

'You are, I know you are. Now come on, before your friends and the jumped up boy in question send out a search party for you.' Michael responded, as he opened the door and let me out to go and find my friends.

I managed to locate them in the very last carriage, in a compartment that had clearly been magically enhanced to fit more people in. Sky and Fred were in animated chatter about her visit to her Native American ancestors this summer, Mia and Brooke were giggling over a magazine they were reading, Roxy and Lily were playing exploding snaps, Al and Scorpious and the rest of the Weasley clan were nowhere to be found, and neither was Ollie, and James was staring straight ahead out of the window with a sour look on his face.

Noticing there was room for me to squeeze in next to him, I plonked myself down and felt the familiar rush of butterflies at his close proximity.

'What did Michael want?' Sky asked, breaking away from her conversation to look at.

'Nothing much, just a bit of clearing the air.' I said as I shrugged.

Sky nodded and smiled at me, before diverting her attention back to Fred.

'Is that all her wanted?' James muttered quietly next to me.

Turning to look at him I noticed he still wasn't looking at me.

'Yes' I answered, before throwing a question of my own out, 'what's wrong with you?'

'Nothing.'

'James' I said as I went to place my hand on his arm, hoping to make him open up, but before I could he stood up, eager to get away from any physical contact between us.

'I'm going to the bathroom' he said in response to the quizzical looks he received from everyone for moving so fast.

'Mate you only went like fifteen minutes ago, what's wrong with ya?' Fred asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

'Nothing, for Merlin's sake Fred I just need to pee. I didn't realise you were the toilet police!' he snapped before walking out of the compartment and slamming the door behind him.

'What was that about?' Roxy asked, shooting her brother a confused look.

'I have absolutely no idea.' Fred said, clearly just as baffled as his sister.

I couldn't blame them for being confused, in all my years of knowing him I had barely ever seen James snap at Fred, and when he did it was usually to do with something Fred had done to him. Never had it been as a result of James being in a bad mood.

When he re-joined us ten minutes later, he didn't resume his seat by the window, but rather sat as far away from me on the other side of the chairs as he could. I couldn't understand it, why was he in such a bad mood? And what exactly had I done? If his behaviour was to be believed I must have done something, he couldn't stand to be touched by me or take sitting next to me. Suddenly I felt the tears forming behind my eyes and I rooted round in my bag desperately hoping to find a book I could read. I didn't want to cry, not now in front of everyone. I tried to reason that I could be being paranoid. Perhaps James wasn't angry at me and he was just in a bad mood and didn't want to take it out on me – after all everything had been fine with us this morning, and I hadn't seen him since I'd parted with him and Fred at the station.

Finally as I settled back into my seat with a copy _The Hollow Hills_, one of the books James had sent me to read to my mother over the summer, I felt my mind drift away from worrying about him and escaping into the land of literature. And for the rest of the journey I was able to block out the dread that had slowly started to rise in my stomach at the thought of James not wanting to be near me.

* * *

><p>Once we arrived at Hogwarts I didn't get a chance to interact with James until late in the evening. During the feast I had somehow ended up between Roxy and Brooke, and James seemed to make sure he and Fred seated themselves as far away down the table as they could do. Then straight after that I had prefect duties to attend too – so until I stumbled into the common room after curfew I hadn't seen him.<p>

The room was empty, everyone else having retired for the evening ahead of classes starting tomorrow. James however was sitting staring out of the window. He stood when I entered and merely said, 'good, you're back safely I can go to bed now.' Before starting to head towards his room.

'What that is it? You say, your home safely I can go to bed?' I asked, perplexed and hurt again at his eagerness to get away from me.

'What else is there to say?' He asked, raising an eyebrow at me from across the room.

I could almost feel the tension. But unlike last night this wasn't electrifying, magical tension, this was frostiness and anger. My own instinct was to match his equally bad mood, to rise to the fight he was clearly hoping to lead me into, but I resisted. I didn't want to fight with him. Everything had been so good between us and I desperately wanted to go back to that, to the butterflies and stolen glances and confusion that also came with pure happiness. Therefore I decided to bring up territory I knew he'd be unable to get angry about.

'Well I was thinking we could discuss what we were going to do this quidditch season? And I thought maybe we should plan to get together to discuss this present you want to do for you dad…I wondered, perhaps maybe, you'd want to do it tomorrow…over dinner in the kitchen?' I asked, my breath catching a little as I felt my nerves go haywire. Ok so technically it wasn't a date, it was business, but I had still asked James to have dinner with me…privately – well as privately as it can be with hundreds of house elves running around praising you.

'Actually Edith Bow invited me to a party she's holding tomorrow night, and well I said I'd go check it out. Maybe we could meet in the library on Thursday evening to go over all the other stuff…I mean best to keep it professional right? Dinner might confuse everything.'

'Oh, right yeah of course.' I said, as I felt my heart deflate at his words. He was turning me down…he was basically saying he didn't want to get personal…he didn't even make it sound like we could have a friendly date…professional, that was the word he had used. So formal.

'Well, night' he said before practically tearing out of the room and away from me. Perplexed I sat down on the coach and felt the tears build up. What had I done wrong? Why when last night and this morning he'd been so responsive to this _thing _between us was he now trying to avoid me like the plague? Had he simply changed his mind?

Finally, I pulled myself up off the coach and headed to my room, but I couldn't stop replaying what had happened between us, what had gone wrong, and unlike last night when I fell asleep with a massive smile on my face thinking about a certain boy, tonight I fell asleep crying into my pillow because of that same boy.

Xxx

The next day brought no new improvements. If anything everything just seemed to be worse. James avoided me at meal times, in lessons he tried to avoid sitting anywhere near me and when Fred engaged me in conversation James would pretty much act as if I wasn't there.

And it seemed like everyone else was beginning to notice.

'What's happened between you and James? I've never seen him act like this…' Sky asked after lunch.

'I don't know. Everything was going so well between us, I really thought that we were getting somewhere Sky…I thought after everything we've been through maybe we'd….oh hell I don't know, but he's breaking my heart Sky. What have I done?' I asked desperately as I started to cry, confusion hanging over me like a cloud.

'Oh honey, ssshhh, it'll be alright. Come here.' She said as she dragged me into the nearest toilet and dried my eyes for me. 'Whatever's bothering him will blow over…'

'What if it doesn't? I asked, heartbroken at the very thought.

'It will. But maybe you should try talking to him, you two are always hurting each other because of your bad miscommunication. Just tell him he is hurting you and ask him what is wrong, I'm sure then you'll both sort everything out.' She said, as she brought me in for a hug.

Sniffling a little I nodded, knowing deep down she was right. So much of the hurt we'd caused each other had been over miscommunication, and I was determined to end that this year, whether James liked it or not.

* * *

><p>I waited until after dinner to make my move. I'd used the afternoon to try and work out what to say or how to bring it up, but when it came down to it my rehearsed lines just went out of the window.<p>

I grabbed him as he was leaving the great hall – there was no sign of Fred thank Merlin or I may have just lost my nerve.

'James can I have a quick word?'

'Well, actually I was just on my way to-'

'Please it won't take long and it is important' I said in my most determined voice.

He let out a sigh of frustration and ran his hands through his hair as he said 'fine, but be quick. I've got to get ready for Edith's party and I want to look good for the ladies.'

I tried desperately to ignore the pain in my chest when he suggested he wanted to look good for the ladies tonight and instead tried to focus on the task at hand. I didn't want to do it here, out in the open. So grabbing his hand and ignoring his protests I dragged him over to the more private alcove in the corner.

Then turning to face him I felt all the emotions bubble to the surface and they erupted into a flurry of words.

'What the hell is your problem, you've been acting like a real wanker for the past twenty four hours and I am at a loss as to why you suddenly don't like me. A few night ago it was all I don't want anything to happen to you, carry your wand with you at all times, I'd die if someone hurt you, and now you can't even stand to be around me. Is it me? Did I do something?'

James at least had the decency to look a little ashamed when I laid into him, but his voice stayed as cold as it had been over the last twenty four hours.

'You've got some nerve, acting like it was me who has been being cruel – when you've let me make a right idiot of myself...there I was in my own little world, believing something was happening between us…and then bam – you're all over _him _again.'

Ok now I had no idea what he was on about.

'What, all over who? James what the hell are you talking about?'

'You and Michael. I saw the two of you together, in that carriage…Sky came back and said Michael had wanted you to stay behind and when you didn't come back I got worried, so I told the others I was going to the loo and then came to find you…and I saw you….'

The anger I'd tried to restrain recently erupted and I felt my nostrils flare.

'Oh really, you _saw us, _what exactly did you see us do? Please do enlighten me!'

James seemed to shrink a little bit when faced with my anger, but he ploughed on nonetheless – clearly determined not to back down.

'I saw you whispering and hugging and…'

'And what James? So far all I'm guilty of is whispering and hugging…come on, what did you see?'

James went pale as it dawned on him that perhaps he had misread the situation.

'Since the cat has got your tongue I'll answer that for you shall I? You saw nothing more than that. He said he was sorry for his actions, explained them, asked if we could be civil to each other and I said yes. Have I missed anything else out? Oh yeah, he said you and me were clearly supposed to be together – funny thing is, at this moment in time you can sod off. Go to your party at Edith Bow's and try unsuccessfully to get into her knickers again. See if I care!' I said, before storming off to the library in anger.

I couldn't believe him. How bloody idiotic could he be, getting jealous when he didn't know all the facts. I continued to fume for the next few hours as I tried to make some notes for charms. I was so angry that part of me was happy I'd punched him the other night – given half the chance I'd do it again right now. Insufferable boy.

Then a strange thing happened, James came and sat next to me. I would have been angry at him some more at disturbing my work and my bad mood if it wasn't for the fact that James being in the library in the first place was a miracle. As far as I was aware he had never once set food into the library….part of me had even doubted he knew where it was.

'I thought you were going to Edith's party?'

'No, I had somewhere more important to be.' He said simply.

'And where might that be?' I asked, anger evident in my voice.

'Apologising to one of the most important people in my life. I'm sorry. I was a complete idiot. A jealous fool and a complete twat to you last night…I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions, and even if it hadn't have been just a wrong conclusion I shouldn't have reacted like that. It is your life and I want you to be happy, with whoever you choose to be with. I also shouldn't have come to see if you were ok, I promised you last year I'd let you fight your own battles and that is what I should have done.' He said, looking at my sheepishly.

'Yeah, you're damn right' I said, stony faced.

Then to my amazement James pulled out a couple of items from his bag. One was a chocolate brownie and the other was a tea cosy. Suddenly my stony face was replaced with one of absolute confusion as I took in the items.

'I brought you some things to apologise' he said as he took in my expression, 'I brought you a handmade chocolate brownie…which I spent the last hour making with the help of Winky…I remembered chocolate brownie was your favourite…and I knitted you this tea cosy. Because I remembered you thought it was hilarious that I knitted them for the house elves…'

Shaking my head at him I felt some of the anger leave and I couldn't help laughing at the products in front of me.

'You realise you are the biggest idiot on the planet?' I asked

'Yes I am fully aware of that'

'And the dorkiest…I mean who knits a tea cosy to apologise for being a dickhead?'

'I do….are we ok?' he asked, nervously.

'We will be' I said as I met his eyes and offered him a small smile.

'Good' he replied as he mirrored my smile, 'now about quidditch this season…'


	31. Chapter 31

**Here you go guys, I hope you like this chapter because it was a pleasure to write – the dialogue just wrote itself pretty much!**

**Thank you to all my new followers recently, you've made me very happy, and as always thanks to those who've been with this story since the start – you're patience has been a blessing to me **

**Please, please review if you have a chance, they make me soooo happy!**

* * *

><p><strong>James' POV<strong>

A couple of weeks later and I had managed not to completely screw everything up, Hope and I were getting along and I was feeling pretty good about the whole thing. We'd even taken to running together, I was trying to help her get back into shape for the quidditch season, as she felt taking the time off over the summer had affected her game. Personally I thought she was just as incredible as always, but she refused to see it – and since I wasn't exactly opposed to spending more time with her I gladly agreed to help.

Today was a Sunday and we'd agreed to go out for a run this morning and as I padded around my room I let my mind drift over a lot of realisations I'd allowed myself to come to over the last few weeks. I was becoming more aware that I'd always been wary of letting people in. Being the oldest child of the world's most famous wizard will do that too you. But then somehow this stubborn, beautiful, annoying, charming, fiery girl had seeped into every aspect of my life.

The more I pondered it recently the more I really realised just what an effect Hope had on me, and how much it terrified me. Truthfully I'd tried desperately to fight it at first. Sleeping with Mia had been a way of trying to sabotage things between us – better to break my own heart before I got in too deep right? But still the spell Hope had cast over wouldn't go away. It had only got stronger and stronger and I was now past trying to fight it, I wanted her desperately. But at the same time I was terrified of rejection, although logically I knew this was unfounded. Hope would never intentionally hurt me, even when I deserved it, and she had kissed me twice now, she let me put my arm around her and I'd caught her staring at me on more than one occasion now. Deep down I knew I just had to go for it, ask her out and see how she'd react, but I'd been putting it off since school started out of fear she'd say no.

Letting out a breath and looking at myself in the mirror one more time I repeated what I wanted to say to her after our run today. Then letting out a breath I repeated the line, 'You can do this, you are the son of Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley, you can ask a girl out!' a couple of times before heading out of my room to go and meet Hope in the common room. I bounded down the stairs and noticed her sitting by the door reading. Typical, I thought fondly, give her a couple of minutes to herself and she'll be immediately immersed in a book.

'Wood, can you go two seconds without opening a book?' I teased good naturedly as I came to stand before her.

She jumped a little when I spoke, clearly startled by my presence, but then her dazzling smile crept across her face.

'Well maybe if the person I was supposed to be meeting was actually on time for once in his life I wouldn't need a book to keep me company.' She teased back, warmth radiating off her and easing some of the tension I felt.

'Ok fair point.' I admitted, smiling at her, 'but I'm here now and I'm sure you don't want me wasting any more of your precious time so we should do this thing.'

'Lead the way Potter boy' she said as she stood.

On impulse I reached out to grasp her hand, and although she looked slightly taken aback by the gesture she didn't pull away. Instead she laced her fingers with mine and I felt courage surge in my stomach. I almost asked her out right then and there, but I reminded myself she'd probably appreciate it if training came first. So tugging on her hand I led her out and towards the grounds. We talked about small things as we made our way towards the castle entrance – Sky and Fred and whether they would finally get together, what we thought of the quidditch season, how her dad was taking retirement, although I tried not to dwell too much on this. I knew speaking about her mother upset her and I knew she didn't like to be pushed into opening up.

Hope knew I was there for her when she needed me, and only a couple of days ago she'd come to me after receiving a letter from home. She's cried on my shoulder and admitted it scared her that Katy still wasn't completely better. But then it was over and I knew she didn't want to dwell on it. It was strange how easily she opened up to me when she was vulnerable now, before the summer she would have gone to one of her girl friends for advice instead of me – but now she was seeking me out specifically. Part of me suspected it was because I'd been the one there for her over the summer, so speaking about her fears over her mother naturally carried on from this. But still a part of me couldn't help thinking this signified progress between us, some fundamental shift had happened within our relationship over the summer, and it was the realisation of this that had made me feel like finally, FINALLY, it was the right time to move beyond the just friends zone. But the realisation didn't make the actual prospect of asking to move beyond said friend's zone any easier.

'Penny for your thoughts?' Hope asked as we left the castle, her words bringing me out of the thoughts I was having about possible rejection.

Turning to her and smiling I wiggled my eyebrows and challenged 'I was just thinking I can beat you to the old oak near Hagrid's hut!'

Hope's musical laugh escaped her and she squared her shoulders, dropping my hand as she did so and saying, 'Game on Potter'.

And then with that she darted off.

* * *

><p>An hour later, through laughter and gasps of breath Hope called, 'Ok, ok enough Potter.'<p>

Turning and flashing he a cocky smile I replied, 'Now, now Wood, we can stop this as soon as you admit it.'

'James Sirius Potter I am not going to admit it!' she said, stamping her foot stubbornly, but her eyes betrayed her amusement.

'Hope Katherine Wood, just admit it. Admit there is actually something James Sirius Potter is better at than you.'

'That is an appalling thing to say!'

'Say it!'

'Never!'

'Well then I guess we'll have to do best out of 500 then….unless of course you're too chicken and wanna wimp out? Which would make me better than you, because I could do this all day long. ALL. DAY. LONG. Wood is that really what you want?'

'Urgh no' she said as she met my eyes, clearly trying to suppress her smile.

'Then say it.' I sang at her in my best, most annoying sing-song voice, smirking and feeling my heart speed up even more at all our playful flirting.

'Ok fine. JamesSiriusPotterisabetterrunnerthanmeandisreallyg reatandeverything.'

'I'm sorry you spoke too fast for me I couldn't make that out.' I said, enjoying her playful discomfort, 'can you repeat it slowly so I can actually understand?'

'You're loving this aren't you?' she questioned, her eyes narrowing in mock anger.

'Maybe a little…'

'Urgh you are _soooo_ annoying.'

'Now, now Wood no need to be so mean. Plus, come on, you've gotta give me this. There isn't anything else I am better at than you!'

'Well I guess that is true. Fine, ok, here goes…James Sirius Potter is a better runner than me and is really great and everything. Happy?'

'Ecstatic thank you!' I said, smiling broadly at her as I flopped onto the ground.

Hope sat down next to me, linked her arm through mine and let out a little sigh, before turning to me and saying in an amused tone, 'you know having me say and everything at the end like that isn't the best grammar in the world. I mean what does it 'and everything' even mean?'

Rolling my eyes at her playfully I said, 'It means I am awesome Wood.'

'Oh okay' she laughed as she put her head back and closed her eyes.

Looking at her my heart pounded in my ears. This was it, this was the perfect time. We'd been teasing each other happily all morning, she looked gorgeous, she was relaxed. The moment was perfect and everything was screaming _just do it Potter, just ask her out!_ But it still seemed to take my voice ages to actually come out.

'Hope?' I asked tentatively, shifting onto my elbow so I could look at her.

'Mmmpp' she hummed in response, her eyes still closed.

'Are you planning on going to Hogsmeade next weekend? I mean do you have plans or anything?'

Opening her eyes she said, 'I'm not sure yet. I have a couple of extra essays to do for my extra muggles credit, plus that extra care of magical creatures stuff I am working on, the duelling club championships are coming up so I need to get some practice in and I still have planning to do for the next book group meeting. I could probably get a lot done that day if there was no one around distracting me.'

'Hope, you work too hard. It is ok to have fun occasionally.'

'What is that supposed to mean? I have fun…are you saying I am boring?' she asked, an edge of anger in her voice. And I was disappointed to note she pulled her arm away from mine.

'What, no of course that wasn't what I meant. I just meant that between the amount of work you put into school essays, all the extra credit classes you're taking, your prefect duties, the quidditch co-captaincy, you're obligation to the duelling club and that little book group of yours-'

'What? I am sorry little book group?' she said, pulling further away from me, 'Just what do you mean by 'little books group'?'

'Nothing, look that came out wrong ok?' I said, realising my mistake and cursing my poor choice of words.

'You know what _Potter_' she said, spitting my name out angrily as she stood up abruptly, 'maybe if my life is so boring and trivial to you, what with my hard work and 'little book club' you should piss off out of it.'

Before I had a chance to respond or even contemplate what had suddenly gone wrong she had stormed away.

For a few minutes I sat there dazed, before muttering 'shit' under my breath, standing and heading after her determinedly. I was going to ask Hope Katherine Wood out today come hell or high water, if she rejected me then fine, but I was going to have her reject me to my face. She was out of sight now but I didn't let it faze me, I knew exactly where she'd be.

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><p><strong>Hope's POV<strong>

I stormed along angrily, stopping briefly to cast a cleaning spell and to pick up my bag from where I'd left it in the changing room, before stomping my way towards my familiar sanctuary. As I went along I was cursing James under my breath for ruining what had otherwise been a beautiful and fun morning. I also cursed myself for letting him get to me, I was sure he hadn't meant to belittle my life and everything I care about, yet he had.

I shoved the library doors a little harder than perhaps necessary, but I found I didn't even care too much that I may have disturbed people who were working. I was too wound up to care. As I walked in I noted a small bundle of people in the corner. Lily and Louis were huddled close together, I assumed working on a project, Rose was sitting at the table with them absorbed in her own work, while Brooke and Scorpius were deep in discussion. I didn't even bother to say hello as I came up to them and threw my bag onto the table and let out a massive huff. Lily and Louis looked up and enquired if everything was ok, while Rose merely raised an eyebrow and Brooke and Scorpius shared a knowing smirk.

'Your brother' I said pointing at Lily, 'and your cousin' I said pointing at Rose, 'and your somewhat friend' I said pointing at Scorp and Brooke, 'is the most egotistical, infuriating, big headed, pompous man on the planet' I finished angrily.

I noticed as I was speaking that Lily's eyes were getting bigger, Rose shifted uncomfortably in her seat and the other three seemed to be holding back laughter. I assumed it was because I was insulting James. I assumed wrong however.

'Don't hold back or anything Hope' a familiar and annoying voice behind me said, whirling round I came face to face with _him_ and I felt my jaw clench in irritation, 'I mean I know I can be a knob, but most egotistical man on the planet? Surely that is a bit much…'

'What do you want Potter?' I snapped.

'To finish our conversation from outsi-'

'I've heard quite enough thanks-'

'Will you never let me finish? You call me infuriating but won't even listen to me-'

'Oh well sorry but you've made your thoughts on my life completely clear-'

'- and you always jump to conclusions and think you know what I am thinking-'

'-and you have no sensitivity to those around you-'

'-you take everything I say the wrong way and-'

'MR POTTER, MISS WOOD! This is a library, not a shouting ring or a school playground!' Madame Pince suddenly bellowed across our argument as she came running up to us, her face the colour of purple in anger.

I felt mortified all of a sudden. I've never been told off by a member of staff before, and now I was being shouted out for acting like one of those people I usually despised. The kind that have no library etiquette and air their personal grievances for all to bear.

'I'm so sorry' I rushed to say.

'Honestly I've never in all my years seen such behaviour. Really Mr Potter, I know you are not always perfect but I thought your parents had raised you better than this.' She pointed at him, her eyes boring into him in anger, and he had the decency to look sheepish.

'I am sorry, I didn't mean to get so carried away.' He said, looking down at his feet.

'And Miss Wood' said Madame Pince, turning her angry eyes from Potter to me, 'I never in my wildest dreams would have imagined you'd act in such a way. I expected more from you, you know how distracting it can be when you are trying to work and people are being loud.'

'I know, I am really sorry. I didn't mean to get so carried away!' I said, apologising for my behaviour again.

'Well I am afraid I am going to have to have to ask you to leave, and I'll have to ban you for the next 24 hours.'

'Please, I am sorry Madame Pince, please don't ban me. I have work to do, an-'

'I'll leave, you don't need to banish Hope.' James suddenly said, standing to attention.

'Don't do me any favours Potter.' I snapped, anger eating away at me again.

'Oh for Merlin's sake Hope would you stop being so stubborn for once in your bloody life!'

'Oh that is rich coming from you, yo-'

'MISS WOOD, MR POTTER!'

'One minute Miss P!'

'Her name is _Madam Pince_ you pompous arse, just because you are the son of Harry Potter does not mean you can-'

'You are honestly the most infuriating woman on the planet, you make it almost impossible for me to ask you what I wanted to ask you, to do what I planned to do. If you shut up for one second and let me get it over with I'd have left you alone already!'

'Now really this behaviour must not continue and you must both leave, otherwise I am afraid I'll have to send you to Headmistress Sprout's office' Madame Pince said, her face going an even deeper shade of purple.

'One second Madame P, I mean Madame Pince, please? Just let Hope hear me out…'

'Mr Potter, this is a library not a therapy session!'

'I know and I swear I'll be out of your hair the second Hope lets me do what I came here to do. I swear I won't set foot in here for the rest of the year if you don't want me to, but please just let me do what I came here to do…'

'Fine Potter, what the hell did you come here to do?' I asked exasperated.

He looked at me for a split second, insecurity and uncertainty passing across his face before he grabbed my arm, pulled me to him softly and murmured 'this' in my ear.

Then he dipped me low and kissed me properly. No pulling away, no timid peck on the lips, no holding back. And suddenly I felt all the inner turmoil and tension of the last few months leave me, all those doubts about what was happening between us faded away and there was just him. Just James Potter and his kiss.

His fingers were digging into my sides and I threaded my fingers into his hair, I couldn't help myself I needed more. I forgot where I was, I forgot I'd been fighting with him two seconds before, and I allowed myself to get lost in his kiss. Slowly my tongue darted out, eager to deepen the kiss but nervous of pushing this too far. Maybe my tongue would frighten him away and once again we'd be back in limbo land. But to my utter relief James took my timid action as an invitation and before I knew it we were exploring each other's mouth, getting lost in new sensations and new feelings.

Suddenly James broke away from me, breathing heavily he pulled me up, put his forehead to mine and whispered 'Go on a date with me the day of the Hogsmeade trip?'

I couldn't help the smile that crept over my face, nor the exhale that came out of my mouth as I let out the breath I'd been holding, nor the blush that crept across my cheeks.

'Yes' I said after a minute, feeling like I might explode from the amount of raw emotion cursing through me at that moment.

James' facial expression broke out into a one of pure joy, and he ran his hand along my cheek bone. For a second the library was eerily silent as everyone looked at us. Even Madame Pince's anger had been silenced and she looked more amused now. But then the moment was over and the table next to us erupted into woops, cheers and wolf-whistles.

'Finally, about bloody time!' Brooke said rolling her eyes.

'I'm so happy for you!' Lily exclaimed, her smile matching her brothers.

'Al is going to be _so pissed _he missed this!' Scorp said in-between fits of laughter.

Blushing I leant in and buried my red face in James' shirt. He laughed and patted my back comfortingly, but I could tell now the kiss was over he was embarrassed too. Pulling back he looked at me and kissed me on the top of my head before pulling away, but not letting me go completely.

'Well Madame P a promise is a promise, I'll leave now and I'll keep away for the rest of the year if you wish' he said, grinning and squeezing my hand.

'Oh well, you know you don't _need_ to stay away for the whole year. 24 hours will do perfectly well as punishment I think.' She said, her fury clearly replaced by joy and humour now.

'And Hope can stay?' he asked hopefully as he ran his fingers gently over my knuckles.

She looked between us, her eyes dancing in amusement before nodding and saying, 'yes very well, Miss Wood may remain.'

'Thanks Madame P!' he said as he dropped my hand and embraced her in a hug, letting out a carefree laugh as he did so.

'Oh well' she said, flustered after he let her go, 'you know it was nothing, the least I can do for young love.'

He shot her his trade mark grin before turning back to me, taking both my hands and squeezing them gently and whispering hopefully 'see you later then?'

I nodded my assurance, not sure I could find my voice to speak right now. He beamed at me before leaning in and kissing me briefly on the lips. He then nodded goodbye at the table containing our friends and his family, whispered goodbye to me, giving my hand one more squeeze as he did.

'Bye' I whispered back, suddenly feeling strangely shy.

I watched him walk out of the library before I really allowed the mixture of joy and mortification to wash over me. On the one hand I was ecstatic. Finally after months of confusion, misread signals, and fights we were finally moving forward. But we were moving forward in the most public way possible, news of this encounter would be around the castle before the hour was out. That wasn't the greatest going for a girl who had promised herself this year she'd have no one whispering about her and no drama. Screw it, I thought, I finally knew where I stood with James Potter and I'd take a little whispering for that.

I slowly turned and sat down at the table, while everyone's eyes continued to bore into me. Before any of my friends had a chance to speak however Madame Pince cleared her throat. I turned to look at her and she patted my shoulder in a motherly sort of way.

'Miss Wood, if I ever encounter you showing such behaviour in my library again I am afraid I will have no chance but to ban you. However, I know this isn't really my place, but I want you to know I'm happy for you my dear….'

'Ummm, thanks Madame Pince. And sorry once again' I said, feeling my cheeks burn.

As Madame Pince turned away, I counted to five before turning back to the friendly torture I was about to endure, the glint in Scorpius and Brooke's eyes told me all I needed to know about how this next hour was going to play out – and I doubted I'd be getting a lot of work done.


	32. Chapter 32

**Hi guys, sorry about the long delay, my MA dissertation is taking up much of my time. But here it is, enjoy!  
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**As always, reviews make me very happy!  
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><p>The news of what had transpired between James and I in the library seemed to make it around the castle in record time, no doubt helped by Brooke and Scorpius' eagerness to tell anyone with ears. As a result the week that followed had been quite a stressful one. Wherever I went people were whispering, I overheard girls talking about me in the toilets, and to top it all off Violet and some of her Slytherin cronies had told me to, and I quote, 'watch my back.'<p>

On top of all this James and I hadn't really had anytime alone together to talk about what happened, let alone kiss each other again – which I was actually happy about. James kissing me threw me off balance, which was kind of how I had ended up being the talk of the school in the first place. But still, the longer I had gone without talking to him about what was happening between us, the more I started to second guess my decision to go out with him in the first place.

James and I were at completely different levels in terms of experience. He'd been with countless girls and could have many more if he felt inclined too, how could I ever compete with that? According to some seventh years I'd overheard in the toilets I was just the mousy swot who'd only ever been in one real relationship, and that had fallen apart the first time things got a bit too heavy in the make out department. Surely I wasn't going to be able to measure up to James' experience. This thought was only made worse whenever I remember that two of those girls James had previously been with were one of my best friend and a mentally unbalanced girl who seemed determined to make my life hell.

Of course no one else seemed to think it was a bad idea. All of our friends, rather than being concerned that things might go wrong and destroy our happy little group, were psyched that we were finally getting our act together. Of course I'd expected that certain people would, such as Sky and Pippa, but I had thought there might be a bit of resistance from Fred and Roxy at least. However, they had surprised me. When Fred had come up to me the evening following the kiss and asked if he could talk to me about James I had been convinced he was going to try and change my mind, but he had merely wanted to tell me that he knew James really cared about me, otherwise he wouldn't be ok with James asking me out in the first place. Then he'd told me that whatever happened I was family and that if things didn't work out with James I'd always have him. I had later raised the prospect of perhaps telling James I'd made a mistake with Roxanne, but to my utter surprise she begged me not too. She'd told me that there was no way in hell she'd let James ask me out if she didn't think he was serious, and she admitted that when she heard what had happened in the library she had gone to speak to James personally about whether he was, and he'd obviously convinced her. James must also have told Rox about what he had planned because she had made me promise that I would at least go out with him and see what he had planned for me before I changed my mind. This had really been a turn out for the books, after all last year when James slept with Mia Roxanne had been about ready to kill the two of them.

I had been a little worried that going out with James would also throw a spanner in the works between me and Mia. We had finally moved past everything that happened last year and now here I was, opening up the possibility of bringing everything up again, but she had been completely happy about it. She'd told me that James and I belonged together and deserved to be happy and she was just sorry that she had ever got in the way of us.

Now here I was, the night before James and I were supposed to be going out and I was unable to sleep. Not for the first time I regretted the decision to cancel quidditich practice tonight, which had been James idea to try and lessen some of the pressure he knew I was under trying to meet all my deadlines, but it may have helped me sleep. Letting out a frustrated sigh I pulled the covers back, pulled on an old t-shirt and some sweat pants and tiptoed out of my dorm room and into the common room.

I had just settled down onto the sofa with a copy of my latest essay to read over when the portrait swung open, making me jump in surprise. I swung round but there was no one there, then suddenly James appeared and seemed to be holding some kind of blanket. The shock of being seemingly alone and then having someone suddenly appear from nowhere made me react on impulse, and before I could register what I was doing I had grabbed my wand, pointed it at James and shouted '_Expelliamus'._

James' wand came flying out of his jeans pocket and straight into my hand and all I could do was stare at it in shock, then back up at James. For a split second James' face echoed the same confusion I was feeling, before his face broke out into that beautiful smile and he started laughing.

'And just what is so funny Potter? Sneaking around at all hours of the night, scaring girls out of their skin? And just where the hell did you come from?' I asked, but I could only muster a fraction of my usual annoyance, as I was trying to supress my own laughter now.

'Well for one thing you are incredibly cute standing there looking all fluster and for another I was happy to see you're finally following my advice about carrying your wand. I guess I just didn't know you'd have to use it on me.' He said shrugging, before adding 'sorry I scared you.'

'It is ok' I replied as I handed his wand back, 'where the hell did you come from? One minute the door was opening and no one was there, then there you are.'

James looked unsure for a second, looked down at whatever the blanket was in his hands and then looked at me.

'If I show you something do you promise not to tell anyone? It is a family secret…' he asked.

'Course' I said.

He stepped forward and handed me what was in his hands, and brushed my fingers as he did so. I looked down at whatever it was but found it hard to concentrate as I was increasingly becoming more and more distracted by how close and alone we were.

'It is an invisibility cape. My dad passed it along to Al, Lil and I. Apparently it has been in my family for years…' he said, trailing off as he moved forward slightly and placed his hand casually on my shoulder.

Although he was acting all smooth I could feel his hand tremble slightly, and it made me feel more self-confident to know I could affect him just as he did me.

'Right, like the one in the Beedle and the Bard, I slightly remember your Aunt Hermione writing about one like this…'

'Yes she did! But yep, that is what it is, it is useful for sneaking out after curfew.' He admitted sheepishly.

'I should give you detention you know, sneaking back in this late at night…just where were you?' I asked, trying to quieten the voice in my head that was suggesting perhaps he had been out to a booty call or similar.

James shifted uncomfortably and looked slightly embarrassed before saying, 'Look I was just finalising some last minute plans for tomorrow…that is, if you're still up for it?'

One look into his hopeful eyes and I couldn't say no, so instead I told him the truth.

'Yeah I am, I want to go out with you, I really do…it's just…well I guess I am scared'

'Scared of what? Of me?' James asked as he pulled me onto the nearest settee and sat down next to me, taking my hands and fixing me with the most serious stare I had ever seen.

'Yes…no….I don't know how to explain it. Look, it isn't that I am afraid of you personally. I trust you with my life, it is just I have never really felt like this before, I mean James you have this uncanny ability to unnerve me and make me act unlike myself. You throw off my judgement and more than once that has led to one of us hurting the other. What if that happens again? James, your family are my best friends, I don't want us to do anything that might compromise that and might mean I end up losing them. I couldn't bear that. It hurts me more than I can tell you to imagine losing you, let alone losing all of you!' I explained in a rush, focusing on my hands rather than on James concerned eyes.

'Hope' James said, as he gently lifted my face so I had no choice but to look at him, 'I can understand why you'd be afraid, but trust me you don't need to worry about that. You won't ever lose me no matter what happens between us, I promise. And as for the rest of my family, Hope they would no sooner cut off their right arms than push you out of their lives, even if things don't work between us. And, just so you know, you have the same effect on me.'

I smiled at him before I spoke again, 'you realise you can't promise I won't lose you, you don't have the gift so you can't see the future no matter what you're told in divination.'

James laughed, put his hand on the side of my face and gently stroked my cheek, 'in this case I can. I don't need divination to tell me that I am never letting you go completely.'

He moved to lean in, his face moving so close to mine that I could feel his breath against my cheek, I knew if he kissed me I'd lose all train of thought and I'd be unable to finish this conversation and I had to get it all out now.

'And what about Violet De Champ?'

James pulled back, his eyes going hard at the mention of that particular girl's name.

'What do you mean what about Violet?'

'She won't go away quietly James, she'll want revenge. Her and her cronies pretty much said-'

Before I could finish my sentence James leaned over and kissed me, not as passionately as he did in the library, but this time tenderly, full of emotion. He pulled away after a few seconds and ran a hand down my arm before saying, 'I won't let Violet hurt you Hope and I have fought for you for too long to let one bitter ex get in my way.'

'You shouldn't just kiss me James it makes me lose my train of thought.' I scolded him.

James laughed and rubbed his nose to mine 'Well I couldn't help myself, you're just too darn kissable Hope Katherine Wood and I've spent so long trying to fight it and I can no longer resist you.'

I adjusted myself so I could rest my head on his shoulder, burying my nose into the base of his chin. I wasn't sure how long we sat there until I finally said in a whisper 'I'm worried I won't be enough for you James.'

'What? Why on earth would you think that?' James asked as he pulled back to look at me.

'You're so experienced James, you've been with tons of women, you could be with tons more. I've only ever been in a relationship with one guy…I'm just worried you're going to want more than I can give to you right now-'

'Hope, don't ever think that. I don't care about that stuff, I'm not just looking for sex here ok, I just want to be with you, to hang out with you…all that other stuff, we'll come to it when you are ready and not before ok?' James said as he cut me off, and squeezed my hand to try and reassure me.

'But James you could have anyone, plenty of girls would love to give you all those things I can't right now. Plus I've overheard enough girls in the restrooms this week stating how I'm not good enough for you…' I tried to explain.

'Those girls are wrong! You know why?' he asked, I shook my head and he carried on speaking 'because you're right, I could and have sex with plenty of girls, but none of them would have the one thing I really needed…and that's you Hope.'

I stared at my hands, unsure of what to say or how to feel, and James, clearly sensing my insecurity once again put his hand under my chin and made me look at him.

'Please Hope, just give me a chance? Just one date? Give me a chance to make you happy?' he begged.

'Ok, I'll give you a chance... I'll be there tomorrow.' I finally agreed my heart pounding.

'Thank you' he said as he kissed me on the head.

'I guess if I am giving you a chance and going on a date with you tomorrow I should go back to bed and try and get some beauty sleep.' I finally said as I moved to untangle myself from our position on the sofa.

'You don't need any beauty sleep, you're already beautiful.' He said as he reached for me and turned me back to face him, his hand trailing over my jaw.

'You're so corny.' I teased, as my hands came to rest in his hair.

'Yeah but that's all part of my charm.' He said as he came closer to me, our lips inches apart.

'If that's what you have to tell yourself' I said back my voice all breathy as I felt my heart beat in my chest.

'Oh well then I'll just be off then if you don't want a kiss goodnight…' and with that he started pulling away from me, however I wasn't about to let him go that quickly and I pulled him back to me mumbling 'not so fast.'

This time our kiss started off tenderly, but increased in pressure. I slowly slipped back onto the sofa and James hovered over me, his hands holding my face and mine running through his hair. Without me even realising it I parted my lips and allowed his tongue access to my mouth. After a minute or a so he we pulled apart and James rested his forehead against mine.

'Told you my corniness was part of my charm.' He said after a few seconds of silence.

I laughed and pushed him away from me softly so I could stand, 'ok you were right.' I said as I kissed his forehead.

'So tomorrow then?' he asked as he stood up and walked me to my room.

'Yes, tomorrow.' I replied as I reached the door leading to my dorm.

I said the password and was about to walk right through when I thought better of it, and turned to face James once more. He looked at me quizzically, clearly surprised at my abrupt turn. Before he could open his mouth to ask what was wrong I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his, soft and short and sweet.

'Night James' I whispered as I pulled away.

'Night Hope.' He said back, giving my hand one last squeeze.

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><p>I woke at 7am the next morning, eager for what the day had in store despite my nervousness. Last night's encounter with James had certainly helped ease some of the tension, but despite that there was still an underlying amount of trepidation about whether going out with James was really something I should be doing right now. I knew if I laid there and allowed it to fester I might only end up losing my nerve, so throwing the covers back I grabbed my clothes and a towel and padded to the girl's bathroom.<p>

Half an hour later and I was ready. I was wearing my nicest pair of jeans, a yellow flowery shirt and a green cardigan – an outfit Rox had helped me pick out, since she knew what James had planned for the day. I'd put on minimal make up, put a yellow hairband in my hair so that my curls cascaded down my back and finished off the look with a pair of grey boots. After a quick pep talk at which I repeated to myself that I could do this I headed out to the common room. I wasn't really expecting anyone to be up yet so I was kind of surprised to find Roxanne and James sitting by the fire playing exploding snaps with each other, something I knew the two of them had done together since they were little when they woke up early and couldn't get back to sleep.

'Hope!' Rox said happily as she stood and ran forward to hug me.

James stood and came up to kiss me on the cheek after Rox finished hugging me. As he pulled away from me he whispered 'you look beautiful' in my ear.

'You're up early, excited much about today?' Roxy said as she playfully pushed me in the shoulder.

I felt myself blush and looked away, painfully aware of how awkward I was feeling.

'Rox, do you want a dead arm?' James joked, pushing Roxanne playfully.

'Well I'll take that as my cue to leave, we can finish our game of exploding snaps later – but remember, you're going down Potter!' she teased back.

'You wish Weasley' he said laughing.

'Well I'll love and leave you, James remember you treat Hope right or else you'll have me to answer too! Hope, you have fun today.' Roxy replied as she hugged me quickly then headed back to her room.

We watched her until her door was firmly closed and then we turned to face each other, although we both found it hard to really look each other in the eye due to a sudden shyness between us. I found this hysterical considering our history and the fact that only last night we had made out in this very room, and as much as I tried to fight it I couldn't stop the laughter that erupted from within me.

James shot me a quizzical look, 'And what is so funny may I ask?' he asked as he took hold of my hands and pulled me toward him.

'Oh you know' I said as the laughter died down and I weaved my arms around him so I could stroke his back lightly, 'I was just thinking how funny it is we're both being so awkward and shy considering our history…and you know, last night we were kissing in this room.'

'Ummm a bit like this' he said as he leaned in and kissed me softly.

'Yeah, like that.' I agreed as we broke apart and smiled at each other.

For the first time since coming down to the common room I was able to fully appreciate how he looked today. He was wearing dark blue jeans and a black button down shirt, his hair was messed up in the most attractive way and his smile dazzled me.

'What are you so pensive about?'

'Just thinking how good looking my date for today is.' I replied shrugging.

'Oh really…' he replied as he came forward and pecked my lips once more.

'Try not to let it go to your head, you know you look gorgeous, girls tell you all the time.' I replied, swotting his arm playfully.

'Yeah, they do, but you're not like most girls. It takes a lot to get a compliment out of you, so I appreciate it that bit more.' He said honestly as he ran his finger down my cheek.

Embarrassed I pulled away and played with the bracelet he'd given me just before the start of the summer.

'So' James said, 'do you want breakfast? I was thinking, since you're up already, we could grab something in the kitchen…I know you hate people staring at you and whispering and I just want you to be comfortable today…'

'Yes, yes that would be lovely.' I said, touched that James would think about how uncomfortable I might feel eating breakfast in the hall today.

'Great, well come on then, what are you waiting for?' he said, as he grabbed my hand and we headed towards the door.

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><p>An hour later and we were walking along the path into Hogsmeade, hand in hand and arguing about who the greatest quidditch player was of the past ten years, excluding my dad and his mother obviously.<p>

'I am telling you it has to be Victor Krum!' James stated again, 'no one matches him in terms of speed, or self-confidence, or just stamina…'

'He's all show and no substance, you always do this James, you get blinded by the show and the spectacle, but there is a lot to say about the understated player who paces themselves and delivers through brains rather than brawn, like Alasdair Cooper…' I replied, shoving him a little.

'Well you're the brains of this operation and I am the brawn, so I guess it makes sense we have different opinions in this matter…' he laughed.

'Yep but that's why we make a good team right, we work well together.'

'Yeah, we do.' He said as he squeezed my hand.

Just before we entered the village James pulled me off down a side road.

'James…where are we going?' I asked, raising my eyebrow at him.

'Here' he said as we came to stop by a small bucket in the middle of the path.

'I don't understand…'

'It is a portkey….now before you freak out, which I know you will, you can relax. I have permission from Professor Longbottom and Professor Sprout, not to mention your parents and my parents…' he rushed to explain.

'James' I said, 'I'm not sure this is a good idea…I mean going away from the school when there have been attacks on wizards? Didn't you say your dad thinks I could be a targ-'

'Yes, but see the thing about being the son of Harry Potter is, when there is a security threat ,no matter where I go when outside of school, I have officials from the ministry of magic keeping an eye on me anyway' he said.

'You do?' I asked, surprised to learn this.

'Yeah, Lil and Al do too, and usually Rose and Hugo do just to be on the safe side.' He said, shrugging as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

'Isn't that a bit weird for you?' I asked, uncomfortable.

'I'm used to it, it is all just part of the price you pay when your dad is the number one target victim for any bad wizards…look we're all used to it, even Rox and Fred have been monitored before now. Is this a problem?' he asked, his face falling.

'No, no of course not, I guess I just wasn't expecting our first date to be spied on by guys your dad works with…' I said, trailing off at the thought of it.

'It isn't spying, they just keep an eye on whether we're in any danger.' James said trying to reassure me, however I think he could tell he had failed to do so, as he carried on by saying 'look, if it makes you feel really uncomfortable we don't have to kiss or anything while we're out…but please, just give me a chance Hope? Please, trust me?'

I looked at James and saw how desperately he wanted this, how he wanted me to trust him. Then I thought about how Roxy had pushed me to at least give this date a chance…she had been so sure I would enjoy it.

'Ok, no kissing while we're out and being watched…but, if you tell me the portkey is ok and everyone has given you permission then I'll trust you.'

James' smile shone as he pulled me to him and asked, 'you ready?'

'As I'll ever be.'

* * *

><p>By the time lunch rolled around I had all but forgotten my trepidation of the morning, the day had just got better and better.<p>

The portkey had taken us to Birmingham, the home town of my grandparents. The first place James took me was this little old second hand book shop I loved, my grandfather took me there whenever I came to visit. James had told me I could choose any book I wanted and it would be his treat, and no matter how much I had tried to protest he had stubbornly stood his ground. So, after spending an hour and a half looking at books and discussing possible options I came away with two, a copy of _Wolf Hall_ and _A Passage to India. _Only to be surprised half an hour later when James also pulled out a copy of the complete works of Keats, muttering something about how he knew I loved poetry and he'd seen it and thought of me.

We'd then spent a bit of time wondering around the museum and art gallery, another place I spent a lot of time in whenever I came to visit my grandparents. I pointed out some of my favourite painting and explained the different techniques I loved. James held my hand as we wandered between different pieces, stroked my knuckles occasionally and listened to me intently. He offered his own opinion on pieces as well, and I was surprised to discover he actually knew a great deal about art too. When I'd asked him about it he had shrugged and just brushed it off.

After the art gallery and museum James had brought me to the little Italian restaurant we were now in. He had again insisted on paying for everything.

'So, how is your mum?' He asked tentatively as he put down his knife and fork.

'Not much change. I think it is frustrating her…she wants to know why she woke up, you know what triggered it, but until she can get back to work there isn't really anyone with her level of qualification and researching into this field that can do it…it is almost a catch-22 situation.'

'Sorry' he said as he leaned over and took my hand.

'Don't be silly James, it isn't your fault, and you've been so amazing throughout all of this…anyway, let's not dwell on this now, James you've put so much effort into today I don't wanna bring the mood down with my weird family drama.' I said, as I pushed my plate aside.

'Hope' he said, fixing me with a hard stare, 'you don't ever have to worry about speaking to me about your family. I am here for you, always.'

'I know' I said squeezing his hand in gratitude, 'but I don't want to think about all that right now, today is about you and me right?'

'Yes'

'Well then, what is next?'

'Ah, well that is the best part' he said as he placed the money on the table for our lunch, then helped me out of my chair.

Despite my constant nagging he wouldn't tell me where we were going as we left, and even in my wildest dreams I would never have guessed I'd find myself outside the Hippodrome Theatre.

'Here' he said as he passed me an envelope.

Opening it my eyes widened a little in shock. Inside were two matinée tickets for the Birmingham Royal Ballet's version of _Beauty and the Beast._

'James…' I muttered, unable to get anymore words out.

'Do you like it? I remembered you saying your grandmother was a ballerina with the Birmingham Royal Ballet when she met your grandfather, and I know how much you love _Beauty and the Beast_…' James asked, clearly a bit concerned that he'd done the wrong thing.

I couldn't believe it, that James would not only think of the fact that my grandmother was a ballerina, but would also take me to go see a ballet…everything he'd done so far today had clearly been a way of showing me how much he respected that muggles side of me, and how much he wanted to be a part of it.

'James…' I managed to croak out before I threw myself in his arms, 'thank you, this is the most beautiful thing I could have asked for…' I mumbled against his shirt as I tried to stop from welling up.

When we pulled apart James' face was alight with happiness.

'Come on, or we'll miss the start' he said, as he took my hand and dragged me towards the entrance.

* * *

><p>We made it back to Hogwarts just after five and I was still rehashing the ballet with James, who still willingly listened and offered his own observations, despite the fact we'd already gone through it all a million times. I couldn't help myself though, it had been so beautiful. I had even cried at one point, when the beast dies because Belle has not returned to him.<p>

'I'm sorry, I'll stop going on and on about it now…' I promised, shooting him an apologetic look.

'No, no it is fine. I like the fact that you enjoyed it, that was what I was hoping for…and besides, you're cute when you get all excited, and I love hearing you talk…you're so bloody clever you know. You should have heard yourself today, in the bookstore, and the art gallery, then after the ballet, you're so smart and so beautiful…you just take my breath away.' James said, going red as he admitted all this to me.

I looked away, embarrassed but so touched by his words. After a few minutes of walking I broke the silence by asking if we were heading back to the castle now.

'Actually no…' he said as he pulled me away towards the woods by Hagrid's hut, 'I have one more surprise for you, it was what I was busy planning last night…'

Then suddenly James pulled me round past the hut and the animal pens and into a little patch of forest, currently light up with fairy lights from every branch. Underneath the trees there was a blanket laid out, with a picnic basket containing all of my favourite food and a note taped to it which simply read:

_Dear Master Potter Sir,_

_As requested here is all the food. Thank you for the new tea cosy's, we very much appreciate them, we hope you and Miss Wood have a lovely meal._

_The House Elves _

'Oh James…' I said as I took in all of it.

'Do you like it?' he asked as he put his arms around my waist and hugged me from behind.

'I love it…'

'Good' he whispered as he kissed my ear, 'I had help from Hagrid with the lights…'

'It is perfect, thank you…' I said as I turned in his arms, and leaned up to kiss him, initiating the action for the first time, my hands shaking slightly as I ran them through his hair and brought his lips down to mine.

Just as I was getting lost in the kiss James broke away, put his forehead to mine and whispered 'be my girlfriend Hope…I don't want anyone else, I want to just be with you and I want you to just be with me.'

Suddenly my mind flashed to him and Mia, the two of them going at it on that table and I stepped away from him, broke out of his embrace and turned away.

'Hope, what is it, what did I do?' James asked, concern and confusion clear in his voice.

I thought about him saving Ollie last year, how he waited with me outside the headmistresses office the night Violet had said I attacked Mia, the way he'd sat in the rain with me when Michael asked if I had hurt Mia. Then I thought about how great he'd been this summer, how he'd held me night after night, how he'd bought me books and held me while I cried. And then I thought about today, about how he'd done everything right…he'd thought about how I wouldn't feel comfortable eating in the great hall, he'd taken me to a place very important to the muggles part of my life, he'd bought me books, taken me to see artwork, bought me lunch and taken me to ballet, before bringing me back to a surprise picnic. Every aspect today had been about proving he listened to me, that he understood me, and that he really, genuinely cared for me.

He had asked me to trust him, and for the most part he had never given me a reason not to. Yes he had slept with Mia, but he had been drunk and I had a boyfriend at the time, plus we had both been scared of what the other would do. We were both to blame for hurting each other in the past, but moving forward that wasn't what I wanted.

'Hope…' he pleaded desperately, 'please talk to me.'

I turned to face James and simply said 'yes'.

'What?' he asked, clearly confused.

'Yes I will be your girlfriend…nothing would make me happier!' I said.

'Yes…you're saying yes?' he asked, clearly not believing his ears.

'Yes, I am saying yes. I Hope Katherine Wood would love to be the girlfriend of you, James Sirius Potter…'

The look on James' face was one of pure joy, as he let out a heartfelt laugh then he came forward picked me up and span me around.

When he put me back on the ground the giggles that had overcome me subsided as he moved a few strands of stray hair from my shoulders.

'And I James Sirius Potter would love to be the boyfriend of one Hope Katherine Wood…' he mumbled, before his lips came crashing back down onto mine.

I don't know how long we stood there, lips locked together and hands tentatively exploring the other's body, but even after we broke apart and I agreed with James that we should perhaps eat, we still found it hard keep our hands of each other.

Later, when we'd finally walked back to the castle hand in hand and had spent a good half an hour kissing goodnight in the empty common room, I fell into bed with a massive smile on my face, the words 'goodnight girlfriend' echoing in my head.


End file.
